"These look good." With those words, I placed a package of sausages in the shopping basket that Finn was holding and then took two more. "I think that's it." I put my hands on my hips and looked in the basket, checking if we had everything we came for. "What?" I asked Finn, who was looking at me without saying a word, and only then did I realize that he had hardly said anything the whole time we were here.
"Nothing, just..." He smiled, his eyes dreamy. "You're beautiful."
"Yeah right." I snorted.
I look terrible. My greasy hair is in two braids, and a few stray strands fall in my face. I'm wearing black tight shorts, a black tank top, and a sweatshirt around my waist, which I took off when we entered the store.
I feel sweaty and slightly tired as I didn't sleep much last night. And when I finally managed to fall asleep, Destiny, who I shared the tent with, woke me up for breakfast. So without a doubt, I have circles under my eyes.
"What's funny?" He frowned.
"Come on Finn." I tilted my head to the side. "Look at me." I pointed at myself.
"I am." His gaze softened. "I can't take my eyes off you."
"Uhm..." I tried not to blush, but it's not something you can control. "We should go pay."
He laughed. "Sure, let's go pay." He shook his head. "Unbelievable."
After we put all the shopping in Jeremy's car, Finn slammed the trunk.
"Do you want to drive?" He handed me the keys.
"Oh, no, that's fine." I laughed nervously. "Jeremy entrusted his car to you anyway."
"True, he did." He smiled. "So it's not because you can't drive, is it?"
"What?" Every emotion fell from my face. "Ho...How come...How?"
"Come on, sunshine, do you think you're capable of hiding something from me? Of course, it took me a little longer to figure it out, but still. Why didn't you tell me? I always offered you my car. If I knew, I'd drive you myself. I wouldn't have a problem with that."
"I'm 24, Finn." I sighed.
"Okay?" He looked at me confused.
"I'm 24 and I don't have a driver's license. It's embarrassing."
"Why?" He frowned. "So you don't have it. It's not the end of the world, Lexi."
"Just leave it. Can we go?" I took a step towards the car, but Finn's hand on my wrist stopped me.
"Come on, Lexi, talk to me, why is it bothering you?"
"Why does it matter?"
"Because I don't want it to bite us in the ass later." He took his hand off me.
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
"Lexi, I like you, okay? I honestly do, and it hasn't happened yet, so I don't know what to do. The only thing I know is that everything needs to be resolved at the beginning. That even a small thing can become a big problem."
"And where did you read that? 10 tips that will save your relationship?" I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow.
"I'm serious, Lexi. I want to work on this." He pointed between the two of us. "On us."
"On us? Who's us?" I frowned. "We kissed and haven't really talked about it since. We both admitted we liked the other, but what did we do about it? Nothing, Finn, nothing. And I hate this feeling of uncertainty. I hate not knowing what I'm on. I feel like my head is going to explode."
He took a step towards me. "Lexi..." He started but I cut him off.
"It's always been like that and I can't help it. I always think too much about everything. It can be completely stupid, a little thing, but I can think about it for the next week, moments before I go to sleep. And it doesn't want to stop. I don't know what to do because before anything starts, I'm done with it in my head. And us?" I pointed between us. "I'm so confused, I don't even know if we've even started, Finn. And every time we want to talk properly, something happens, something interrupts us. And to me, that's a sign that maybe this between us..." Before I could finish, Finn's phone rang in his pocket. "Of course." I snorted. "I think that says it all, don't you?" I pointed to his cell phone, which he took out of his pocket.
"I don't believe in signs." He pressed the big red button on his phone before turning it off completely and putting it back in his pocket. "We can stand here for hours, arguing, exchanging opinions, or whatever you want to call it..." He took a step towards me. "But I've walked away from too many things in my entire life. And the only thing I'm sure of is that I won't do it with you. I'm not physically or mentally capable of turning my back on you and walking out of your life. So right now it's up to you if we fight here or if you let me kiss you and seal the deal because I'm also tired of all the uncertainty." His gaze skipped between my eyes. "What will it be, sunshine?"
What it will be? I asked my head and it gave me a quick and short answer. I asked that question again, this time to my heart.
And for the first time in my entire life, they agreed.
It was killing me.
Waiting for her answer was killing me.
If I had concentrated, I'm sure I could have heard her thoughts, but they were impossible to hear over my pounding heart. It was ringing in my ears.
Everything, the whole world, will unfold from this moment.
Just a few seconds, a few words could change my life for better or worse. She had all the power over my life in her hands and probably didn't even realize it.
Maybe she doesn't realize how big of an impact she had on my life already. She doesn't realize what she did for me just by smiling at me every day. How many times she saved me.
"Really, Finn?" There was a smile on her face, but I wasn't laughing. "Seal the deal?" She looked like she was going to burst out laughing any second. "Come here." She put her hands on the back of my neck and pulled me close, connecting our lips.
My heart pounded even harder in my chest when I felt her touch, her warm lips on mine. It was a soft kiss, but still full of passion.
My hands wandered to her waist and I pulled her closer, deepening our kiss. I never wanted to let her go. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. In a moment that belonged only to us.
I pulled away from her a bit as a strand of her hair got in the way of our lips and when I opened my eyes she was already starting to laugh. And if that wasn't the sweetest sound in the world, I don't know what is.
I started laughing with her, still holding her close to me, not letting her go.
"Oh God." She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders heaving with laughter.
"What?" I asked, unable to stop smiling.
"You're my boyfriend?" She removed her hands from her eyes, which had tiny sparkles.
"I hope so."
"I have a boyfriend." She said adorably, biting her lip.
"You bet." I laughed.
"I think I'm gonna pass out." She clutched her red cheeks.
"I'm here if that happens. I'll catch you. Always."
"God I want to kiss you again."
"I won't stop you." This time it was me who leaned in and kissed her. "You've got to be kidding me." We pulled away from each other when Lexi's phone started ringing. "It's not a sign." I pointed my finger at her.
"Mhm." She nodded and took her phone out of her pocket. "Jeremy, hi." She remained silent for a moment, listening to what he was saying. "Oh, sure. We're on our way...sure...see you in a minute." She took the phone off her ear. "They don't want to leave the camp empty and they want to leave soon. We should go."
"Just a second." I kissed her again. I didn't care one bit what Jeremy said to her just now, and I didn't care that I didn't care.
"I can get used to this." She pulled away from me and placed her hands on my chest while mine were on her hips.
"That's good, get used to it." I smiled until I felt like my cheeks were going to hurt.
"Let's go before they call again." She tried to take a step back, but she couldn't. "Finn, come on." She laughed.
"One more?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Unbelievable." She rolled her eyes before standing on her tiptoes and placing a small kiss on my lips. "Let's go."
"Fine." I sighed. I let her go but walked her around the car to the door which I opened and closed for her. I quickly moved to the driver's side and sat down, taking her hand in mine and kissing it.
"You have to stop it, Finn." She said with humor. "Or..."
"Or what?"
"Doesn't matter." She looked away from me but couldn't hide her smile.
I knew what she meant. You have to stop it, Finn, or I'm going to fall in love.
Guess what, sunshine, I've already fallen in love, so now is your turn.
*****
"Did you win the lottery or something?" Stefan stood next to me, fastening his backpack on his chest.
"What are you talking about?" I frowned.
"You're smiling like crazy. You haven't stopped since you and Lexi got back. Is something wrong?" He asked with a smile.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to keep a neutral expression on my face.
On the way back to the camp, Lexi and I agreed to keep it between us for this weekend. I don't want to end up dead in the lake because her friends drowned me.
"Sure." He snorted and patted my shoulder. "You're a good guy Finn. Lexi deserves someone like that." And with those words, he walked towards the group of people who were slowly gathering to leave.
Within a few minutes, everyone was ready and slowly left. I kept my distance from Lexi, but the moment they were out of sight I snuck up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I pulled her closer until my chest collided with her back.
"Looks like we have the whole camp to ourselves," I whispered in her ear and saw the goosebumps on her neck.
"Jeremy said not to worry about lunch so we can do whatever we want." She slowly turned around and clasped her hands behind my neck. "We can go swimming."
"Ohh, skinny-dipping."
"As if." She snorted. "It's the middle of the day."
"Oh, so in the evening then?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Stop it." She said with a laugh and gently hit my shoulder.
"Fine, fine." I laughed. "We can relax by the lake. You can read a book or take a nap, you look a bit tired."
"I didn't sleep much last night. Do I really look that tired?" She removed her hands from my neck and ran them over her face.
"Let's just say it's good that you didn't have to go on that hike. You'd pass out somewhere."
"Hmm."
"Get the book, I'll go get the blankets and get a place by the lake ready, eh?" She nodded. "Okay." I bent down and kissed her. I'm never going to get enough of this.
I slowly let her go so she could go get her things and watched her walk away from me for a moment before walking over to the campfire where the blankets were stacked for the evening. I took them and also a few extra pillows that Jeremy had in the car and went to set them up.
I spread the blankets in a place where there were the fewest roots and stones, but so that we could see right into the campsite if someone wandered in.
It didn't take me long, but I suspected Lexi had fallen asleep in the tent since it took her some time. I was about to go after her, but at that moment I saw her.
Well, shit.
I swallowed hard as my gaze slid down her body. She wasn't wearing the same clothes as before. She was barely wearing anything. Since when is this considered a swimsuit? Small strings held her white bra and even smaller ones held the bottom. I tried not to look, but it was impossible.
She had beautiful slightly tanned skin that looked soft to the touch. Perfect hips, into which the strings that belonged to the bottom of the swimsuit cut into her. But the hardest part was not looking at her chest. The outline of her nipples could be seen through the thin fabric of the bra.
This is how I die. This is the moment.
I've seen Lexi in a lot of things. Dresses, tight t-shirts, sweatpants, just about anything. She was always beautiful. But this? I'll probably pass out.
"Are you okay?" She stopped by me with a smile.
"Mhm." I cleared my throat and moved for her to sit down.
"I don't want to get a sunburn, would you mind..." She handed me a sunscreen, which I didn't even know she brought.
"You want me to..." My throat tightened.
She's trying to kill me. And at this rate, it won't take long.
I've been thinking all week about whether to start publishing chapters again, and I've come to the conclusion that I'll slowly publish a few of the ones I've written in my free time over the past month. There aren't many of them so they'll run out quickly so I'm not sure how long I'll be releasing again.
I will definitely try to keep writing, but my graduation is slowly approaching, so it is quite possible that some Monday or Thursday (or both days) no chapter will be published.
I just hope you don't stop reading this book because of this hitch. There are still many things waiting for this couple.