"Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow at Adrian, who was sitting on the couch with his feet on the table and a bottle of beer in his hand.
"Lexi?" He turned to me and that's when I noticed a bruise on his left eye and a torn eyebrow.
"You hit a customer." It wasn't a question, but a statement.
"Happens." He just lifted his shoulder, and for some reason that only pissed me off more.
"Happens?" I took a few long steps in front of the TV, to which he turned. "Put that beer down." My eyesight burning a hole in his head. "Now."
Adrian rolled his eyes and placed it on the table in front of him after taking his legs off. "Happy?"
"Not even close." I crossed my arms over my chest. "What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it." He stood up from the couch, but before he could take a step, Stefan stood in his way. "You too?"
"Come on, Adrian. You're not in a good headspace right now."
"So now you're ganging up on me? Where's Lincoln and Luca, I'm surprised they're not here." He slumped back onto the couch, pouting like a little kid.
"Stefan, can I talk to him alone for a moment?" I walked closer to both of them.
"Sure." He nodded after a slight hesitation and stepped back. "I'll be in my room if you need me." And he disappeared at the door of his room.
I took a few steps to the couch and sat down next to Adrian, who had his arms crossed over his chest and his attention on the TV. Or at least his eyes were looking in that direction.
Without saying a word, I leaned toward him and wrapped my arms around him so that I could hug him. He stiffened under my touch.
"What are you doing?"
I didn't answer him just hugged him tighter.
"Lexi." Where he had sounded so confident before, now he sounded like he was going to fall apart in seconds.
I ran my hand to the roots of the hair on his neck and buried my head in his neck. A quiet sob left his mouth before I felt his hands on my back.
Adrian doesn't like to show his emotions. Or at least sadness. He's not the type to cry, but I think he needs it. I think he needs to have a good cry, not like he did at our Jeremy's funeral where he wiped away the tears before they fell out of his eyes.
"It's okay," I whispered. "I know you miss him."
He started sobbing uncontrollably and I was glad that he finally allowed himself to grieve properly.
I don't know how long we sat in silence before he continued to cry. I held him and didn't let go until he did it first.
He slowly pulled away from me, his eyes red and his cheeks wet from all the tears. "It's not fair."
"No, it's not." I shook my head and cupped his face in my hands, slowly wiping away his tears.
"I've been angry at everything lately. I can't help it." Another tear rolled down his cheek until I stopped it.
"I understand, really, but you can't live like this. It will destroy you."
Have you ever thought about taking your own advice to heart? Nope? Good chat.
"It's hard. Without him I..." His next words were swallowed by sobs.
"I know, but it can't go on like this. You're going to hurt yourself. I know it's not the same, but you have us. You have Stefan, Lincoln, Luca, and me. We're here, you just have to communicate with us. When you need something, you talk to us and we will try to help you."
I'm serious, take your own advice, woman!
"So I'm asking now...what do you need?"
His gaze skipped between my eyes. "I don't know." He said desperately.
"You know what?" I smiled. "I know what you need." I let go of his face and stood up.
"Where are you going?" He immediately asked.
"Just wait." I ran into their kitchen and stopped by the refrigerator. I bent down to the freezer and took out ice cream from the bottom drawer, at the very back, before closing the freezer again.
"Where did you get that?" He looked at me confused.
One thing guys who don't cook do? They don't look in the freezer. So that's why it's the best place to hide desserts.
I picked up two spoons from the counter, even though I wasn't planning on having any, and sat back down next to Adrian, almost throwing the frozen box into his hands.
"I don't think ice cream is going to solve my problems." He wiped his nose but opened it anyway.
"You'd be surprised." I took the TV remote from the table and turned on Netflix.
"Lexi..." I've known him long enough to know he wanted to complain, so I didn't give him a chance.
"Nope." I leaned my back against the seat. "You need peace and an environment in which you won't stress unnecessarily. Maybe you should also take time off from work and focus on yourself for a while."
"Okay." That was a bit unexpected, but I was glad he didn't argue with me on this.
"You could take Stefan and go on vacation somewhere. Maybe come back with a girlfriend." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Or with an STD." We both looked at Stefan, who was standing in the doorway of the room.
I was a little worried that Adrian was in a vulnerable place now, and the words hurt him, but when I heard his laugh, I was relieved.
Adrian partially cured, only one more to go.
*****
"Are you sure you can't stay?" Adrian asked as I got up from the couch after we finished watching the movie.
"I have to go save Lincoln before he dooms his entire future."
"Our hero." He laughed.
"Heroine." Stefan cleared his throat and deserved an elbow to his side for that.
"You'll be fine here without me." I bent down to give them both quick kisses on the cheeks. "See you later."
"Take care."
"I'll see you off." Stefan stood up and we walked together to the front door. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you to see Lincoln?"
"Stay with Adrian, he needs you too." I gave him a narrow smile.
"Lexi." He stopped me as I reached for the door. "About..." His gaze drifted to my left hand.
"I'm okay." I lied. "I promise. But I'd like it to stay between us. Please?"
He hesitated but nodded slowly. "I'm here if you want to talk about it."
"I know, but it won't be necessary. It won't happen again." Liar! My insides screamed, but I silenced it for now.
"Let me know how it goes with Lincoln." He hugged me. "And I'll check on Luca just to be sure."
"Good idea." I pulled away. "Take care, Stefan."
"See ya." He smiled at me and closed the door behind me.
I only breathed a sigh of relief when I left the building.
"You got this." I encouraged myself and walked towards Lincoln's apartment.
Normally it would have taken me a little longer, but I picked up my pace as I walked around the streets that led to Finn's apartment. I tried not to think about him because I hoped it would hurt less.
I knocked on Lincoln's door and waited for him to open it.
When Stefan said that Lincoln wasn't doing well, I expected to find him in a state where he could barely stand on his feet, his apartment a mess, and him probably smelling of alcohol.
However, when he opened the door for me, he looked perfectly fine.
"Lexi?" He frowned. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" He looked behind me in the hallway as if he expected someone else to be standing there.
"Um, I was going to ask the same thing." I looked at him one more time. He truly looks fine. "Stefan said you haven't been in the hospital lately and that you haven't been studying. You have your final exams in a little while, you shouldn't miss it."
"He's wrong, I don't have any exams."
"Yeah, you do." Did he forget about them? "You were talking about them to us when you were already starting your first year."
"I don't have exams because I dropped out."
I hoped I heard wrong. "Sorry, can you say that again because it sounded like you said you're done studying after all these years."
"You heard right. I'm done." He said casually.
I slipped past him into his apartment. "Lincoln, I understand that you mostly did this for your parents, but this is not something..."
"I can't do this, Lexi." He cut me off and closed the door. "I can't do it."
"What are you talking about?" I frowned.
"I can't watch people die under my arms. And especially if I'm not able to help them." He swallowed hard.
"Lincoln..." I knew this wasn't just about some people, but rather about one exact person. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't help him."
But maybe I could've if I went looking for him the moment Ellie called me. Or was with him, and then he would drive more slowly.
"Exactly. I couldn't help him. What good is being a doctor if I couldn't even help him?"
"Linc..." I took a step towards him.
"I never even wanted to be a doctor. My parents wanted me to. But I can't, Lexi. I can't mentally handle it now, and if I had to do it for the rest of my life, I'd go crazy." His hands began to shake. "I just can't do it and I-I can't..." He took a deep breath. "I just can't go on like this. I'm sorry to let you all down, but..."
"No." I interrupted him and grabbed his hands. "You didn't let anyone down."
"But..."
"It's okay Linc." I squeezed his hands tightly. "It's okay." I tried to calm him down. "The world won't collapse, I promise." I smiled. "If you don't want to be a doctor, that's fine, you don't have to, and you don't even have to choose where to go next. You have time."
I think that's exactly what he needed to hear. And why do I think that? Because as soon as I said those words he's tried to suffocate me in his arms.
"Thank you." He whispered into my hair. "Thank you." He hugged me tightly and I hugged him back.
"You could never let me down, please don't ever forget that."
*****
"Are you sure you won't join?" Lincoln asked as we stood in front of the building where the twins lived.
I thought it would be nice if he wasn't alone now, and Stefan texted me that Luca was already with them, so I brought Lincoln.
"I have dinner with my father." I lied. "But you enjoy it." I hugged him goodbye. "Don't drink too much."
"I can't promise that." He laughed. "Take care."
"Say hi to the others for me, see you." I pulled away from him and started walking away.
When I got home, there was a light on in the kitchen, so I went there out of instinct. I was slightly surprised when I saw my father standing by the sink wiping the dishes.
"Oh, you're home." He noticed me after a while. "If you're hungry, there's still some pizza on the table in the living room." He waved the hand with the rag in it for me.
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry."
"Oh, okay." He said a little nervously.
"I'm tired, so I'll go..." I don't know why I even told him, he probably doesn't even care. I took two steps before his voice stopped me.
"Lexi." I turned to him. He hesitated before saying, "I'm sorry, I screwed up."
I didn't want to sound like a bitch, but the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. "You should be more specific, you screwed up a lot of things."
Judging by his expression, it hurt him a little. "For everything. I know you said you couldn't forgive me, but..."
"I can't." I cut him off. I thought I could, but I can't.
Last week, he was acting normal. Even better than normal, but that doesn't change anything about how he's been behaving over the last years. It doesn't change anything about how he called me, how he treated me, what he did to me.
"No matter how much I want to forget everything you've done, I can't. I'm glad you're trying to change, but..." I shook my head. "I'm not able to forget everything that happened."
"I know." He exhaled heavily. "I wanted to fix things between us, but it's a lot, I know."
"What changed? Why now?"
"After you left," he placed the towel on the counter and leaned against it, "I had a visitor."
A visitor?
"He burst in here and I've never sobered up faster in my life." He smiled. "He started yelling about what a bad father I was and how I didn't deserve to be called one."
I walked closer to the kitchen, intrigued by what he was saying.
"He said that I don't know what you sacrificed for me, that..." He lowered his head. "That because of me, you didn't think you were good enough. That I acted like an asshole, but you stayed anyway, hoping that I would change. He said I destroyed you." He looked up at me, pain in his eyes. "I've not only ruined my own life but yours as well." He raised his arm, which was no longer in a cast. "He broke my arm." He laughed. "But I deserved worse. Much worse for all I've done."
"Dad..." My voice was shaking, and my vision blurring. "Who was it?"
He smiled sadly. "Jeremy."
If by some miracle my heart was still holding together, it was completely broken now.