"I'm coming!" For the third time I shouted towards the door that someone had been knocking on continuously for the past two minutes. I wanted to ignore it, but whoever it is, they don't want to leave.
I put my hand on the cold handle and opened the door wide. I was shocked to see Killian standing behind them.
"What the..."
"Christopher, we're not going to talk about this again." He slipped past me, talking to someone on the phone. If I remember correctly, Christopher is one of the people he runs the mob with. "My decision is final. Yes, I'm sure." He stopped in the middle of the room and turned to me. He tiredly ran his hand over his face. "Christopher." He said between his teeth. "We'll talk when I get back to New York. Until then, forget you have my number." He took the phone from his ear and turned off the call, even though the guy's muffled words could still be heard from the other end. "Can you believe it? He finally stopped bothering with the Cubans, but started talking about the Germans."
"Killian, what are you doing here?" I frowned.
"I'm here to kick your ass." He pointed at me with his hand holding his cell phone. "Val is calling me like crazy that you're not picking up, and since she's in Europe on vacation right now, she couldn't come. Do you even know how hard it was to convince her not to buy a ticket the moment you didn't pick up your goddamn phone the first time? And the fact that you didn't answer me and my messages, I'm not going to mention that for your sake."
"I think that says it all. I wanted to be alone..."
"Well too damn bad." He took a step towards me. "We've always handled you with gloves because we were afraid of what would happen to you, but you're a fucking grown-up, act like one. When one of your siblings calls you, you pick up so I don't have to fly from New York, leaving my daughter there."
I swallowed hard. "That all?"
"No." He said through gritted teeth before taking another step towards me and wrapping his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "Shit Finn, don't do that again."
I wanted to say I'm sorry he had to leave Lucy home alone because of me. That I'm sorry for ruining Val's vacation that I didn't even know she was on. That I messed something up again.
However, I remained silent.
"What the hell is going on? I thought things were getting better." He pulled away, and when he saw that I wasn't saying anything, he spoke again. "Fine, the hard way then? Sit down and start talking or I'll go get that blue-haired annoying neighbor Val told me about." He looked at me seriously.
"This is my apartment, you can't order me around here," I said a little more quietly than I had planned.
"I'm the one paying for it, so sit your ass down before I sit you down." He was joking. I think.
Not entirely voluntarily, I sat down on the couch, Killian following my movements.
"Are you going to talk or should I threaten you a little more?" He raised an eyebrow.
I knew there was no way I was going to walk away from this conversation without Killian getting everything out of me one way or the other, so I didn't put up a fight and told him everything he wanted to know.
I told him about Lexi, how I met her, and how she changed me. I mentioned camping and having friends, at which point my older brother seemed proud of me. I finally told him about Jeremy and how Lexi left and I haven't heard from her since, how I closed myself in the apartment and didn't want to talk to anyone.
"That was..." He breathed heavily. "So what now? Are you going back to New York or..."
"I don't know," I said honestly. "I'm not sure."
I won't lie, I thought about it. Because what is keeping me here? The only reason I would want to stay here left me. What else is left for me here?
"Let me get this straight." His elbows rested on his knees, his gaze before him. "The woman you obviously love, who you paid for her mother's treatment, was there for her when her friends weren't and let her move in," I also secretly paid for Jeremy's funeral but didn't mention that to him, "you just let leave, and now you're not even fighting for her. And without even talking to her, you're thinking about moving back to New York." He looked up at me and I just nodded slowly. At that moment, his hand flew towards me and hit me on the head.
"Hey! What was that for!" I grabbed the sore spot on the back of my head that tingled slightly.
"I thought Sebastian was a lost cause." He shook his head in disappointment. "What the hell are you doing Finn?"
"What do you mean?" Has he gone crazy?
"Get up and go find her you idiot. It doesn't matter that she told you to let her go. I know you've always been one to respect women's decisions, but this? Seriously? If you love her, which is pretty obvious that you do, you'll fight for her. You hear me?"
"It's not that easy, Killian."
"What's not easy?" He threw his hands up in the air. "Just go find her, tell her how you feel, don't just let her go. It's not fair to either of you."
"If she wanted to, she would stay."
"Bullshit." He snorted. "I realize you haven't been around many women, but seriously? They want you to fight for them, unless you cheated or something, in which case I'd take you straight to New York myself. She doesn't have to realize that now, but you both need each other. It's obvious that she left because she thought she was destroying you, and you let her go because she begged you to. You both made a mistake and instead of fighting for each other, you gave up. If I had the chance to talk to Ly..." He stopped and swallowed hard. "I would tell her I love her. Don't make the same mistake I did, Finn. You'll regret it, trust me." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Find her and tell her how you feel."
"What if she doesn't want to see me?"
"Then tell her to turn her back on you." I laughed at his words. "I'm serious Finn, fight. And if it doesn't work, you can always come back to New York. We all miss you." He smiled.
"When are you leaving?"
He took his hand off me and looked at his watch. "I can't be here long, we have some problems back home. But if you decide you want to go back to New York, I'll send Kai or Sebastian for you. But if it counts, I hope that won't be the case. I hope that you'll fix everything. You deserve a happy life."
"Thank you for everything." I didn't just mean that he came, I meant everything he ever did for me.
"What's family for, right?" He smiled and hugged me. This time I hugged him back. "Take care Finn, and for the love of God, fix it while you can."
*****
After Killian left, I sat in the apartment for a while, thinking about everything he told me. He's right, I should fight more for Lexi. I should fight more for both of us.
I have come to the decision that I will do exactly that.
That's how I found myself at Zack's door. I had to fix a few things first before I went to win back the woman I love.
When Zack finally opened the door, after my constant knocking, he didn't look too excited to see me. "What are you doing here?"
I won't lie, I expected it. I treated him like shit, while he only wanted to help me. I just hoped he would forgive me. He is my first real friend.
"I'm sorry. I know you tried to help me after Lexi left. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. You didn't deserve it. I messed up a lot, but I'm trying to make things right. I honestly am sorry. I realize you won't just forgive me..."
"Are you done with the sentimental shit?" He jumped into my speech.
"What?" I frowned.
"I get it, you were hurt that Lexi broke up with you..."
"That's not what..."
"I'm talking if you haven't noticed." He cut me off. "Lexi left you and you were pissed at the whole world. I was unlucky enough to live in that world. But I, as a good friend that I am, tried to help you. And what did I get in return? A door slammed in my face. You," he pointed a finger at me, "don't deserve this." He pointed at himself with a circular motion of his finger. "I know my own worth, so Ciao." He waved at me before closing the door in my face.
"Awesome." I exhaled heavily and hung my head in defeat. "Good job, Finn, as always." I turned my back on Zack's apartment striding back to mine.
Maybe this wasn't the best idea and what did I even expect to happen? That he will just forgive me for the way I treated him? Am I really that naive?
"It doesn't feel good when someone else does that to you, does it?" I heard Zack's voice behind me and turned to see him leaning against his door frame a big grin on his face. That little shit. "I accept your apology, but as compensation for the mental harm you've caused me, I'll happily take the PS5 you're offering." He held out his hand to me.
I never offered him a PS5, but it's the least I can do.
I smiled. "Deal." I took his hand in mine and we shook on it. "Just for the record, I would buy you a car if you asked."
"Son of a bitch." He yanked his hand out of mine. "I'll think about that next time."
"Next time?" I laughed.
"You're moodier than a woman. I'm almost certain there will be next time."
"Alright then." I lowered my head with a laugh. "Seriously, Zack, I'm sorry..."
"Ugh, boring." He rolled his eyes. "Save this sentimental crap for Lexi, when you apologize to her, she'll care, not me."
At that moment I realized something. I haven't started drinking, smoking or fighting since Lexi left. But in addition to being an idiot to Zack, I did something much, much worse.
"Oh my god, I threw Sunny out in the street," I said terrified.
How could I do that to him? I left a kitten in the middle of the city, with nothing. It's been three days since I dumped him. How far could he get?
Not only that Lexi will never forgive me for that, I will never forgive myself.
"You're digging your own grave more and more, huh?" He laughed, but there was nothing funny about this situation.
"I carried him outside the building and left him there. What if some car hit him? Or some dog tore him up?" I ran my hands through my hair. "What did I do?" Guilt suddenly hit me.
"Jesus." He shook his head annoyed. "How could you ever live without me?" He pushed himself away from the door frame and started walking to his apartment.
"What are you talking about? Zack, I'm telling you I left Sunny all alone in the city." I followed him into his apartment. "He's out there somewhere, maybe he's hurt and I was such a..." I stopped in the middle of his apartment when Zack walked over to the couch, bent down and picked up a small ball of fur.
"I'll take the car now." He smiled.
"Sunny." I took two long steps to reach Zack, who was holding an orange kitten in his hands. "You're here."
"I've been looking at some Audis lately, but I wouldn't mind a nice BMW. Maybe even..." Before he could finish, I hugged him tightly but was careful not to squash Sunny between us. "Aww, so you do like me after all."
"Shut up." I laughed and let him go. "Hi." I carefully took Sunny from his hands. "I'm sorry, Sunny." I patted his head. "I was a dick." I pulled him closer to my chest.
"Oh, he knows, I already told him. We had similar views on that."
"How did you find him?" I looked up at Zack.
"He was sitting outside the main door of the building when I was on my way back from seeing Luca. I thought you'd done something stupid, so I figured I'd take care of him for now. We've had a good time together the last three days, haven't we?" He scratched Sunny behind his ears. "He's a hockey fan."
"I can't thank you enough, Zack. What you've done for me..."
"Audi or BMW." He cut me off. "But Porsche is not the worst either." He shrugged. "What about Ferrari? Oh, oh, wait, Jaguar has some nice models."
As Zack continued to list more brands, I started laughing.
I fixed two things. Relationship with Zack and I found Sunny, who's going to get any food he wants for the rest of his life.
Now I'm going to fix everything with Lexi and me.