He was crazy in love with me-a little too crazy, in my opinion. I don't know what he saw, but it wasn't what happened.
~~~~~
Lucian Stafford was beautiful, to say the least. Those glimmering sapphire eyes of his always captivated me as I watched him from afar as he silently read, hoping one day he could fall for me as I had for him. He had been going to the same library as I had for the past two years and there wasn't a day where I wasn't entranced by his unparalleled beauty.
There was something about Lucian--something intangible, something that I couldn't quite figure out. It could have been his charming, white smile, the way his gorgeous, dirty blond hair was never out of place; it could have even been his warm personality. Whatever that something was, it hasn't failed to make me fall deeper and deeper for him.
But what would Lucian, as beautiful as he was, find in someone like me? He was a fully grown man, an Adonis, whereas I was just plain, simply eighteen and plain. My sandy brown hair was nothing too special; neither were my dark brown eyes, nor my freckled, pale face. On the other hand, Lucian was perfect. I envied him as much as I loved him.
I had no idea my love for him would become my worst nightmare, and it all began with a simple greeting.
I was sitting in a chair at the public library, alone and reading a really interesting book when he came up behind me.
"Excuse me?" a deep, enthralling voice said, catching me off guard.
Seeing as I was the only person in that area, aside from the old librarian, and the voice was directly behind me, I closed the book on my thumb and turned around. My heart caught in my throat and it suddenly became hard to breathe.
Lucian, Lucian Stafford was talking to me. Me?! That had to be some kind of realistic dream. He had never, ever spoken to me before that very moment. Of all the people in the world to talk to, he chose to speak to me. This was a dream come true.
"Y-y, uh, yes...?" I managed to choke out. My heart was pumping like mad inside my chest. What in god's name was I wearing? I internally prayed I didn't look like a piece of crap in front of him.
A look of concern showed on Lucian's face. "Are you okay? You look a little pale." My god, he was even more beautiful up close.
And he was concerned about my well-being?! I thought I was going to pass out. He is such a kind man. He didn't even know me and he was asking if I was okay. What a gentleman.
Trying not to sputter too much, all I could muster up was, "Fine... I'm totally fine!" Lucian had so much of my attention; I had unknowingly dropped the book and was entranced by his eyes.
He chuckled at my embarrassing behavior. It was one of the cutest chuckles I had ever heard in my life. "You're kind of adorable when you're at a loss for words," the hunk said, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets.
What did he just say? I asked myself internally. Everything stopped and I felt heat pool in my cheeks. He just called me adorable.
"I'm Lucian, if you didn't already know," I heard him say. He held his hand out and I gently shook it before letting go. "And you are?"
"L-Liam..." I murmured quietly.
"What was that?"
I spoke up. "Liam. U-um, Liam Miller."
He smiled a most dazzling smile-one that sent butterflies to roam around in my stomach. He was so gorgeous. I was in love with everything about him. I just wished he felt the same.
The next thing that happened almost blew me away. Lucian said he noticed how I was always watching him every day-as well as pointing out how it was cute!-and stated that he might've or might not have had a small crush on me, proceeding to ask me out for dinner. It took every ounce of my willpower not to squeal and faint.
It took a bit of time for me to reply, but after about ten minutes of sitting and staring in shock, I had said yes. That very moment was something that I thought would only happen in my dreams. My dreams had finally come true!
As soon as we made arrangements to meet later that day, I ran home and squealed like an idiot, calling my only friend, Max, and rambling on and on about how a sex god had asked me out on a date. Occasions like that were one in a lifetime things, I couldn't have passed it up for anything!
My bland life of reading and working was taking a turn for the better.
~~~~~~~~
Evening had finally approached, the darkness beginning to cast shadows of the illuminating streetlights as I waited for Lucian to arrive. He was given the directions to my apartment complex and said he would arrive around eight. It was seven forty-five, but I had faith in him. Lucian would arrive on time, he was trustworthy. I could trust him.
Just as I had predicted, Lucian pulled up in a black, sleek, expensive-looking car. So he was hot and rich? I must have died and went to heaven; he was pretty much the ideal guy I hoped he would be! He was everything I dreamt he would be so far.
The passenger door opened and Lucian turned his head, a smile playing on his thin lips. "Hey, Liam," he said, "are you going to get in?"
Snapping out of whatever trance I was in, I quickly hopped in his car and we were on our way to the start of something grand. My heart was literally doing jumping jacks inside my chest. This was such an unpredictable event I never thought would happen, but there I was, in a very expensive car with the god of beauty himself, Lucian Stafford.
As we rode, Lucian always had something to talk about, keeping our conversation light and entertaining. There wasn't an awkward moment to be heard (I'm usually the master at doing that), nor were any of us uncomfortable at any time. It was such an amazing car ride. He was very funny, never failing to make me laugh, which I loved about him.
"Stop making me laugh," I said at one point, covering my mouth to hide my monstrous giggles. "My laugh is awful!"
Suddenly, Lucian stopped the car in the middle of the street. He turned and his eyes glowed with something unfamiliar, something fiery. It made him all the more hot. "Who told you your laugh was awful?" he inquired, his voice alarmingly serious. "Who?!"
Where did that side of him come from? The stern look on his face was sort of intimidating, as I hadn't ever seen him like that.
I shrank in my seat. "Well, nobody, Lucian. I just don't like when I laugh. I've just always detested it." My body felt ten times smaller than his as he continued to stare at me, eyes searching my face for something I couldn't understand.
"Don't ever say that about yourself. You have the most adorable laugh I have ever heard in my life. Don't ever say that again, okay?" His voice was pouring with worry, the kind of worry that a mother has when her child goes missing. The worry where the much feared inevitable becomes something terrifyingly scarier--that kind of worry.
"O-okay," I replied weakly.
Of all the times I had seen Lucian's face, not once had I seen him that serious. It was not something I expected from him. I didn't know whether to be truly afraid or turned on by his sudden change. To be honest, having him compliment me like that really made me feel special. It made my stomach leap in my belly, a small smile growing on my face.
Shortly, after what happened in the car, we parked next to a very fancy restaurant. Like, it was top notch fancy. It made me feel pretty underdressed for the occasion, seeing as Lucian was wearing a nice tuxedo and I was just wearing a plain dress up shirt and some blue jeans, my shoes being nothing special, just some converse.
I looked outside, watching all the rich couples enter and exit, some sitting out on the benches and watching an array of angel fish leap out of the water. It seemed like every few times they would leap, the couples would kiss. What was that all about?
"You ready?" Lucian asked, rubbing my shoulder. It made me instantly hard, and I had to control the naughty thoughts going on in my head at that moment.
Looking down, I sent him a helpless look. "Um... Lucian... I don't think I'm properly dressed for this--"
He held up a hand. "Say no more, my dear. I brought a spare suit, just for you." He reached in the back and pulled a clean tux, and it looked like it was just the right size for me.
"Oh, my god! Thank you so much," I said happily, covering my mouth. To say the least, I was ecstatic. He was buying me clothing, being protective and kind. Lucian was a wonderful man in general. I really should have mustered up the guts to ask him out if I knew this was what I was going to go through. Every passing second, I was falling deeper for this man.
I brought the suit inside the bathroom of the restaurant and changed quickly, coming out and showing myself to my date. When I did, his face went serious again, admiration twinkling in his eyes. I loved being looked at like that.
"You look...beautiful, Liam," he said quietly.
My face instantly burned a bright red and I looked away. I guess you could call me bashful, because I was. But with the compliments I was receiving from Lucian, I felt like I was the only guy in the world to him. I felt even more special.
The dinner was beyond amazing. Lucian paid for everything, even when I offered to go Dutch, and even asked if I wanted more food after we spent over a hundred dollars. He flirted with me (I won't get into how awful my flirting skills were), made me laugh even more, even held my hand as we began to leave. It was the perfect date to end all perfect dates.
As we walked outside hand-in-hand, Lucian brought me close to him, his lips brushing against my left ear so softly, making my heartbeat skyrocket, stopping my breathing almost altogether. "Hey, I want to take you somewhere else before I end this date," he whispered mildly. "Is that okay with you?"
Speechless, I just nodded my head and let him take me wherever. He could have me any way he wanted at that moment; I would give him my all, even my virginity. He was worth it.
Lucian led the way, taking me to the benches where couples sat together and watched the fish swim out of the water. It was a beautiful sight, the lake shining gorgeously underneath the moonlight and the aquatic life springing peacefully out of the water and plopping back.
"You know," my date started after we sat on a bench, "there's a rule here." He curled his fingers around my own. "When the fish jump out of the water three times, it's a sign for how your date went. One of for if you lived, had a lively conversation with your date-"
A group of fish suddenly jumped out of the water, seemingly soaring in midair for a few seconds before falling back in the lake. It was strange and amazing at the same time.
"-Two is for laugh," he continued, "which I know you did a good deal of. I love hearing you laugh, Liam. It warms my heart-"
Another group of fish jumped out and back into the water.
"And three," he finished, "is for love. And love is something I don't always use, but Liam, I know we haven't spoken for long, but since the first day I saw you two years ago, reading that Stephanie Meyers book, I knew I was in love with you."
The third group of fish jumped out, landing in the water calmly.
This was beautiful. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. It was hard to take in all at once. The beautiful date, the amazing view...and Lucian's confession; he loved me. He told me he loved me, and he said it in public in front of everyone around us.
I could only manage five words, "L-Lucian... I...love you, too."
And just like that, it became official. We were in love with each other. Everything was right in the world, for my love was in love with me as well.
Lucian's free hand stroked my face gently and he brought his lips close to mine. It was all coming together. The climax of the night was happening right then and there. Nothing could have ruined that moment - nothing. The people around us disappeared, the fish, the lake, everything. It was just me, Lucian and my pounding heart.
My eyelids gently shut as our lips made contact with one another, setting fireworks off in my body, putting fire to my insides. Everything instantly burned, an intangible flame I can't even put into words. It was as of we were meant to kiss at this very moment, as if it were God's plan all along. It was perfect.
And that was how our relationship began It was like the flower bud of my life had finally bloomed, everything falling together into place. For six months we were a happy couple living in his house together. Nothing was wrong between us, and it was bliss - until the day Max visited...
"Yeah, you guys are totally getting married soon," my best friend teased. He hadn't met Lucian beforehand, so I invited him over to meet my wonderful boyfriend. It was so eager for him to finally make friends with the love of my life.
When Lucian walked in the living room where we were located, he stopped and looked at Max with an incredulous expression, like he didn't think he saw what he did see. "Babe, who's this?" he asked.
I got off the couch and trotted up to my boyfriend. "Babe, this is Max, my best friend."
Max sent him a kind smile. He got up as well. "Hey, dude. I'm Maxwell, but people call me Max-"
"Yeah, that's cool," Lucian interrupted, turning to me. "What's he doing in our house?"
I fiddled with my fingers. "Well, I invited him... I wanted you to meet my only friend. We've known each other for a long time."
"Get him out of here. Now."
I gasped. "Lucian! Don't you think that's kind of rude?"
His sapphire eyes suddenly changed, becoming a bright blue flame of pure anger. "I said, now. Don't make me have to tell you again."
What was with him? He was never like this. It scared me, but not in the good way. I didn't want to enrage him, though. I knew something wasn't right, so I saw Max off to the door, apologizing and waving him good bye. I should have expected it to happen after I shut the door. I should have, but I didn't.
As soon as I shut the door and turned around, a stinging slap hit my face--Lucian's stinging slap. He hit me. He actually hit me, and it hurt.
He hit me with so much force I was knocked to the ground. Tears were actively streaming down my face as I held my cheek. Fear was the only feeling I could point out, everything else was a mixture of emotions I didn't understand. Why did he hit me?
Lucian towered over my fallen body, his fists clenched, nostrils flared. "Why did you bring him into our home?!" he asked furiously.
I began to stumble over my words, not able to form a complete sentence. My mind still couldn't wrap around the fact that he actually hit me, and it was out of pure rage, too. Why?! Max was my friend and nothing more!
"I asked you a question, damn it," Lucian continued. "Why did you bring him here?"
I sniffled, wiping at the falling tears. "L-Lucian... Baby, he was just my friend! you had no right to hit me!"
"I had every right to hit you!" he screamed, making me cower. "You think you can just run off and cheat with those other men without me knowing? Huh? You thought wrong, damn it."
"Cheat? Baby, I would never--"
"Don't fucking lie to me! I saw you and that boy! How close you were to each other. Don't fucking play me!"
"But Luci--"
I was interrupted again when he grabbed my collar and yanked me up. "Liam, I'm done with your cheating ass! I know how long you've been doing this and don't lie to me!"
He twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open. I was immediately shoved out of the house and on the porch, nothing in hand but my unbearable sorrow. Why would he do that to me?
"Don't come back," he sneered, slamming the door shut and locking it.
Tears poured down my face endlessly as I waited pathetically, hoping he'd realize the huge mistake he made and take me back. But it was in vain. For hours, I was there, crying on my knees and silently praying that Lucian would just open the door and love me again like he used to, that he would hold me in his arms and kiss me over and over, serenading me with his sweet words and soft lips, encasing me in his love.
But it never happened.
I was alone, penniless and hurt. Everything that I owned was locked inside his house and I had no possible way of getting my possessions--even my late mother's locket containing the last remaining picture of her since she died in a fire two years ago. He had everything.
I knocked on the door loudly and called his name. "Lucian! Baby, please open the door!" I pleaded through my tears. "Lucian, Lucian, please!"
He ignored me.
My knocks started to become progressively louder and harder, yet he refused to open the door to me. Why, why couldn't he just love me like he used to?
He was my first kiss...the first man I had ever loved.
"Lucian!" I screamed desperately, "Lucia--"
The door swung open with Lucian standing in the doorway. His face was beet red and he looked livid. "Didn't I tell you to leave?!" he asked angrily. The fury on his face looked almost dangerous. As did the hatred brewing in his eyes.
But he used to love me.
I launched myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his chest. "Oh my God, Lucian! Please believe me, baby! I didn't do anything! I love you, I love you!"
I felt him curl his large, damp hands around my arms, applying painful amounts of pressure. He was constricting my arm with all his might, and it hurt like hell. Agonizing wails of physical and emotional pain boomed from me. He was so strong, too strong. Or maybe I was just too fragile. Regardless, I was in a vast amount of pain.
Lucian yanked me from his chest, pulling me up to his face, my feet levitating off the ground slightly. He leaned forward and those gentle lips of his brushed my left ear.
For a moment, I thought he was going to forgive me. I thought he would take me back and we'd be happy with each other from then on. But that wasn't the case. No, that definitely wasn't the case. Instead of whispering heartfelt words to me, he spoke the words I never hoped I'd hear. He crushed me, destroyed me with four simple words that should have never been spoken.
"I never loved you," he sneered.
That did it. That final sentence put the shattering hammer through my heart, striking me where it hurt the most, where I could never recoil from the insufferable affliction that was my heartbreak.
Lucian abolished me.
My eyes went wide and I stopped moving, stopped crying. I stopped doing everything. Short, labored breaths emptied out my lungs. The skin Lucian used to keep warm at night with his body heat went ice cold.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out, nothing. I couldn't scream, I couldn't cry... I couldn't breathe. My body stopped functioning temporarily all because of those four words.
The next thing I could remember was being slammed into the ground, But I couldn't move. I didn't move when Lucian stepped back into his house, I didn't move when I felt that first raindrop fall on my cheek, nor did I move when a downpour of rain began to shower me.
Get up, Liam, my conscious mind ordered after laying in the wet grass for over an hour.
It took all my strength, but I managed to lift myself from the ground. It took more energy to get myself to walk. I was drained of everything. My body was practically a hollow shell, stripped of its former tranquility and left to be eaten by the vultures.
And I just walked, and walked, and walked some more. It was all I could manage. The heavy rain cloaked my unabashed tears as they spilled from my eyes endlessly, and I walked through the desolate neighborhood, into the highway and to the city's most famous bridge. Using the little strength I had, I managed to lift myself on the rails of the bridge, hovering over the one-hundred foot drop into the water.
I felt nothing. I was numb with pain. All my emotions collided and dulled, and I felt absolutely nothing. The cars that had stopped behind me contained drivers who were all screaming at me; yelling at me to get down. But what did they know? Had they felt the pain I was feeling then? They would have done the same as me, so I just ignored them.
My left leg stuck out first and I applied all my weight to it, feeling myself slip from the cool metal of the bridge. The resisting wind forcing itself against my body was the only thing I could feel.
I was already dead inside.
And the final image to shoot through my mind beforeI fell into the rocks...
...was Lucian.
~~~~~~~~
goddamn that was dark as hell. there are chills running down my spine right now omg.
the banner was made by my friend, Riot!