Death can come in the form of a doppelgänger.
Thereâs this myth as old as time that says when you meet someone who looks just like you, one of you will die.
is the question.
Who would die first? Me or ?
According to the myth, the first to see the other one is bound to meet their end. In the same decade. Same year. Perhaps even the same day.
I lift my trembling hands and stare at the blood coating them, intertwining with my fingers and crawling under my nails.
I think this means I saw her first. I made eye contact first.
What bad luck. But I guess Iâve never had the good type. Not when I was born, and certainly not when I was shoved into this life.
My attention remains on the deep crimson covering my hands like a second skin. Itâs thick, sticky, and its dark color burns in my head. I rub my palms together to wipe it off, but that doesnât make it better. If anything, the fresh, warm blood smears further, as if itâs already chosen my hands as a permanent place of residence.
I screw my eyes shut, dragging in sharp intakes of air. The sound is raspy, guttural, grating on the surface of my lungs with long rusty nails.
It. Is. Not. Real.
My lids feel like theyâve been glued together when they part from each other.
The blood is still the sameâwarm, sticky, and almost black due to the lack of light. I clench my fists, my body turning rigid as a taut whip.
My nails dig into my palms, but nothing I do pulls me out. Nothing stops this nasty cycle.
I lift my head and study my surroundings. Savage trees envelop me like a cocoon. Theyâre so tall that the dark sky is barely visible through the small opening overhead.
Clouds condense over the moonâs silver hue, and I shiver. The thin sweater over my cotton dress barely protects me from the chill.
Feeling the cold should be a good sign, but it isnât. Itâs not a clear indication of whether or not this is real.
The blood on my hands wonât disappear and neither will the tremor shooting through my body.
If he finds me, heâll kill me.
I squeeze my eyelids together and count aloud, âThree, two, one.â
When I open them again, the trees are the same and so is the chill. The blood is colder now. Thicker.
Like a demonâs possessing my mind and is starting with my hands.
I dig my nails into the long scar on my wrist and claw at the skin as hard as I can, intending to remove it and peer under it. To see the blood actually flowing, to differentiate this nightmare from reality.
If thereâs no pain, then this is not real. Itâs only another cruel manifestation of my subconscious and another self-punishment. Soon, itâll be all over and Iâll wake up, safe and sound.
My skin breaks under the assault of my nails and searing pain explodes on the injury.
My mouth parts and a tear hangs from my lid.
This is not a nightmare. I didnât sleep and wake up in hell. I went there with my own two feet.
No.
Noâ¦
My dry lips tremble as a few droplets of blood fall from my wound and join the massacre on my hands.
This much blood can only mean one thing.
I took a life.
My demons finally won.
Theyâre silent now, not even attempting to whisper those malicious things, those thoughts that have plagued me day and night. They rose in volume, crashing and clawing at the confines of my head until I heard them.
Until I made their wish come true.
âIâm not a murderer. Not a murderâ¦â I murmur the words to myself. Maybe if I keep doing it, I can undo what happened.
Maybe I can go back and change it.
I stare up at the gloomy, bleak sky, tears clinging to my lids. âIf thereâs someone out there, please let me go back to change it. Iâm not this person. Donât let me be this person. Pleaseâ¦â
Only the howling wind answers me, its sound echoing in the empty forest like vengeful spirits with yellow eyes and gaping mouths.
âP-pleaseâ¦â I beg. âPlease stop torturing me with my own self.
.â
I know my pleas have no effect whatsoever, but itâs the last hope I can hold on to. The last thread that can save me. Because I desperately need saving right now.
And I donât trust myself to do it anymore. If I try, Iâll just make it worse. Iâll spiral out of control and slide down the path of no return.
Next thing I know, Iâll be my own demons.
Iâll be my own downfall.
Iâll be the thing Iâve run away from my entire life.
âPlease make it stop.â My voice chokes and I sniffle. âPlease. Iâll do anything.â
This time, the wind isnât my answer. The shuffling of footsteps comes from around the trees.
My feet falter and I stop breathing. My demons couldnât have found me this soon.
Thoughâ¦
This is reality. My demons donât show up in reality. That means the footsteps belong to someone more dangerous than them.
I spin around and sprint ahead, elbowing the low branches out of my way. The fallen leaves crunch under my flat shoes, but I donât stop to think about the sound Iâm makingâwhich gives a clear indication of where I am. Thatâs not important right now. If Iâm caught, Iâll be killed.
Actually, my fate will be a lot worse than death.
Momâs words echo in my head, charging me with a large dose of adrenaline. I have to live and stay that way for both of us.
I to live.
The footsteps grow closer with every passing second until their thudding is right behind me. I donât look back or even try to. Instead, I use the trees as camouflage, dashing between them so fast, my tendons cry out in pain.
If my pattern is irregular, he wonât find me. If Iâm unpredictable, Iâll be able to escape deathâs clutches.
I was taught to never take the short end of the stick or have less than what I deserve. Itâs ironic that taught me that but is now coming after me.
The trees clear out and I come to a screeching halt at the top of a cliff. Pebbles escape from under my feet and roll down over the huge boulders and finally to the dark, murky water thatâs crashing against the rocks. The sound of raging waves echoes in the air like a symphony of death.
The sky is completely cloudy now, casting a gloomy shadow on the angry sea.
As I peer down, a strange yet familiar thought plays at the back of my head.
It would be so easy to end it. So easy.
One step is all it takes. One step and Iâll drown my demons with my own hands.
One step and Iâll kill them once and for all, so theyâll never come out again.
âDo it.â
A shudder zaps through my spine at the sinister voice coming from behind me.
I whirl around so fast, I lose my footing and swing backward. I reach out to him and grip his arm with both hands, nails digging into his shirt. Blood smears on the light gray cloth as evidence of my desperation to live.
Heâs motionless, like a cold statue, as I remain suspended in mid-air. His face is shadowed and I canât see anything except the contours of his jawline and hair.
Since I know he wonât make a move to help me, I try to use my hold on his sleeve to pull myself up.
âYou ended a life.â His calm yet threatening tone stops me in my tracks.
I shake my head violently. âI d-didnât want to.â
âIt still happened.â
âNo, pleaseâ¦donâtâ¦â
âDie for your sins.â He yanks his hand free and I stumble backward and down the cliff.
I open my mouth to shriek, but no sound comes out. The fall isnât as painful as I expected it to be. If anythingâ¦itâs peaceful.
After taking one last look at the silhouette peering down on me, I close my eyes, letting the tears loose.
Itâs finally the end.