Catherine suddenly got up and ran to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, then sat in the tub and began crying. Jackie laid on the floor where Catherine had left her and was feeling confused.
She got up and headed to the bathroom. Pressing her ear to the door, she heard the shower running. Seriously? This was the third time in two days that Catherine had shut her down each time she put her heart on the line. Jackie was fed up. She grabbed her keys from the floor and walked out the door.
A street down from her apartment was a small coffee shop that she frequently goes to. It was still pouring down rain but Jackie didn't care. She slowly walked to the coffee shop, allowing the rain to pour over her. Once she arrived, she realised she couldn't walk in soaking wet but she kept on going.
****
Catherine let the warm water run down her face. She took her time in the shower, not knowing how to face Jackie. When she finally got the courage to open the door, she headed to the bedroom to get dressed. It was silent in the apartment. She slowly walked into the living in room and didn't see Jackie. She looked around but Jackie was nowhere to be found. Assuming she went to get food, Catherine went back to the bathroom to finish getting ready.
****
Jackie was now a mile away from her apartment but still didn't stop. She was so angry that she physically couldn't stop moving. She wanted more than anything to be with Catherine but she was at her breaking point.
Catherine was the one who told her she wasn't worth it.
Catherine was the one who mocked her when she called them a couple.
Catherine was the one who cheated on her. Right in front of her.
All of the shitty things Catherine did and Jackie continued to always be there for here, like a fucking lap dog. Why was she allowing Catherine to have this hold over her? She wasn't some sex slave to be kept locked up in Catherine's house. She was a Hollywood actress, with a summer blockbuster movie about to hit theatres. She deserved better and finally started to realise that just because Catherine was her first love, it did't mean they would be together forever. Most people didn't end up with their first loves. She decided to see Catherine as a stepping stone, who helped to build her confidence back up enough to get her return to Hollywood. Jackie finally started to feel better.
That's it, she thought. I'm done with Catherine Stark once and for all.
****
Catherine was sitting on the couch as she glanced at the clock. Jackie had been gone for 2 hours. She began to worry and dialled Jackie's number.
No answer.
So she decided to go and pack her bags to try to stop worrying. Maybe Jackie just needed a little more time.
****
Jackie's phone rang. It was Catherine. She hit ignore. She was on her way back but didn't want to give Catherine the satisfaction of knowing that.
Catherine heard the door close. A few seconds later, Jackie was standing in the bedroom doorway.
"Did you catch an earlier flight?" Jackie asked. Her face was stone cold.
"No, I was worried about you and sitting around doing nothing wasn't helping. Do you want me to catch an earlier flight?" Catherine her nervously replied.
"No use now, it would be pointless to waste the money moving it just a few hours. I'm going to take a shower."
Before Catherine could get a word out, Jackie disappeared into the bathroom.
****
Catherine could tell that Jackie wasn't happy with her. She didn't seem sad though. Just angry. Catherine was kicking herself for responding the way she did when Jackie told her she loved her. She had been waiting for her to say those three words for nearly two years, and now she completely blew it.
That's what Catherine did though. Fight or flight and she always chose fight. Great, now she was psychoanalysing herself. She sat on the bed and was trying to figure out how she was going to fix this.
She heard her shower shut off. Jackie came back into the bedroom, wearing nothing but a towel. She made her way over to the dresser and started slipping on her panties underneath it. Catherine's heart ached at the sight of Jackie hiding from her.
"I don't know about you, but I'm starving," Jackie said with her back still to Catherine.
"I could eat," Catherine responded.
Jackie dropped the towel as soon as she had her bra on. She walked over to her closet to find something to wear. Catherine stood up and wrapped her arms around Jackie's waist. Jackie quickly grabbed hold of her arms and pushed them off her.
"Catherine. Don't."
"Jackie, I'm so sorry."
"For which part, Catherine?" Jackie whipped around.
Catherine sat back down on the bed after seeing the anger in Jackie's eyes.
"For telling me that I wasn't worth it? For cheating on me, not even having the decency to wait until I was out of the house? But oh...That's right...You completely disregarded the fact that we were even in a relationship. So I guess it wasn't TECHNICALLY cheating, wasn't it?"
Catherine opened her mouth to talk but Jackie continued on while aggressively putting on a shirt and jeans.
"Or are you sorry for shutting me down when I tried to kiss you, even though you've been coming on to me for the last two days? Oh, and let's not forget you literally ran away from me when I finally told you that I loved you."
Catherine's eyes filled with tears. She was well aware of all of the awful things she has done to Jackie, but bearing her list them all out made her realise what a terrible person she was.
"All of it," Catherine said and felt ashamed. "I'm sorry for all of it."
Jackie stared at her, expressionless, with her arms crossed.
"I'm well aware of the person I am. I put up walls and run away when I feel vulnerable," Catherine continued on talking.
"Are you expecting me to feel bad for you? I know you had a tough life Catherine. I've talked to you about it plenty of times, because I genuinely care. But I'm sick of being your punching back and your toy you throw away once I've finished quenching your needs. Do you realise this is the first time since you've know me that you've ever apologised? I'm a person too, Catherine."
"Jackie, there's not a day that goes by that I don't feel the guilt of hurting you the way I did. But you hurt me too. The first opportunity for you to go back to LA that came your way, you immediately jumped in. Even though we were getting pretty serious. It's like I didn't even mean anything to you."
"Do you know how nervous I was to tell you about the audition? It was all I could think about for two days. When I finally did, it din't even seem to affect you. You even told me I should do it, without any sort of hesitation. Then, when I got back, it's like you turned into an entirely different person. You didn't even pick me up from the airport. It's like you were relieved that I would be leaving so you could move on to your next girl."
"You have it entirely wrong, Jackie. I was completely heartbroken when you told me, but I was trying to be supportive because I never saw your face light up as much as it did when you talked about acting. I agree. I changed when you came back. I was scared and I put up my walls up because I saw you making a life outside of us, and I knew that I couldn't be part of it. It's something I struggle with and am trying to overcome it. Which is why I came to LA. I wanted to make it up to you, but it's clearly not going as planned."
Jackie started at the floor silently for a few moments before responding.
"It doesn't matter anymore," she said quietly. "I should thank you. After what you did this morning, I had an epiphany. You were my first love but it's time to be an adult and let you go. This relationship or whatever it is between us is toxic. I would say I regret this entire weekend, but I don't because it has given me the closure that I need to finally move on."
The words stung Catherine. All she wanted to do was to take Jackie in her arms and tell her how much she wanted to be with her. She didn't want to lose Jackie again but after hearing how badly she had hurt her, she just wanted her to be happy. Even if that didn't include her.
"Now, can we finally move on and go get some lunch. We still have a little time left to not let this day be a total bust," Jackie said to break the silence.
Catherine looked up at Jackie from the bed and shook her head yes, with a small smile.
Jackie held out her hands to help Catherine stand up and then hugged her.
"I'm glad that we finally resolved all of this."
Catherine was choking back her tears.
"Ugh!" Jackie let out a huge moan. "I feel so much lighter and better, don't you?"
"Yeah," Catherine laughed, hiding her pain.
The two hopped in Jackie's car and made their way to her favourite Italian restaurant.
"Screw it. I'm getting pasta," Jackie said.
Catherine raised an eyebrow as she looked at her.
"Leave me alone, I don't have a red carpet dress I have to squeeze into for a few days, and I deserve it." Jackie continued on talking.
They spent the rest of dinner making small talk and friendly jabs at one another. Apparently they could be friends, or at least Jackie could.
****
By the time they got back to Jackie's, it was nearly 7 o'clock.
"We should probably head to the airport in an hour or so, LAX can be pretty crowded regardless of the time," Jackie said.
"Okay, I'm going to finish packing," Catherine replied, as she made her way back into Jackie's bedroom.
She quietly shut the door and got out her phone.
Catherine had lied to Jackie. She didn't have a flight tonight because she had hoped both her and Jackie would have rekindled things by now. She dialled the airlines, hoping something was available. Right as they picked up, Jackie had walked back to the bathroom and heard Catherine on the phone. She froze in the hallway and was trying to hear.
"Hi, I was wondering if you had any flights back to Indianapolis tonight?... The last one left already? Oh well, when is the soonest one available?... 6am tomorrow? Okay I'll take it."
After Catherine gave them her information, she asked to be transferred to the airport hotel.
"Hi, I would like to book a room for this evening."
As soon as she hung up, she heard Jackie opened the door.
"What was that all about?" Jackie asked with a confused expression.
"Nothing, I was just confirming if my flight was on time."
"And is it?" Jackie asked, testing her.
"Yep. 10pm sharp," Catherine replied with her back turned to Jackie and was hunching over her suitcase.
"Catherine, you're lying to me. I heard you book a fight for 6am tomorrow and a hotel room for tonight."
Catherine was silent.
"What's going on?"
Jackie grabbed Catherine's arm to turn her around. Catherine's face had tears streaming down it and her lip was quivering. Jackie took Catherine's face in her hands. She didn't understand what was happening and had never seen Catherine so upset before.
"I lied about my flight. I never had a layover here. After you left Stanford, I realised how much I wanted you back in my life. So I hopped on the first flight here to try and win you back."
Jackie stared at her but said nothing. She was speechless. So that's why she showed up so early.
Catherine grabbed her hands and removed them from her face.
"It's okay Jackie. I don't want you to feel bad. I just want you to be happy. You are right, we aren't healthy for each other. Please just know that I never meant to hurt you, and I honestly wish the best for you."
Catherine kissed her on the cheek and then grabbed her suitcase.
****
Jackie was paralysed while standing in her bedroom. Her mind was spinning from what Catherine had just said. The sound of the door made her snap back into reality. The woman she loved just told her everything she had ever wanted to hear, and now she was leaving, thinking Jackie didn't feel the same.
She grabbed her keys and shoes and stumbled out the door trying to put them on. When she finally got down to the street, she saw Catherine close the door to a cab.
Panicking, she ran as fast as she could to her car and headed to the airport. Traffic was a mess as it usually was in LA, which was making her more frantic than she already was.
When she finally got to the hotel, she pulled up the valet to save time. She quickly handed him the keys and took her ticket. She ran to the front desk and asked if Catherine Stark had checked in yet.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I can't tell you that information."
"Please," she pleaded. "It's an emergency."
The receptionist motioned her head to the elevators. She looked over and saw Catherine getting into one.
"Catherine!" Jackie shouted, but it was too late.
The door had closed. She looked up to see what floor it was going to. Floor 3, thank god. Jackie ran up the steps and got there just as Catherine disappeared behind the door.
After taking a minute to catch her breath, Jackie gently knocked on the door.
"Catherine... Please let me in."
Silence.
She knocked again, pleading.
Still nothing.
Jackie realised it was going to take a little more convincing to get Catherine to open the door.
"Catherine. Remember how upset I was last night? It was because of you. I secretly had purchased two tickets back here. One for me and one for you. I was really depressed when I ended up back here alone. Looks like we both had the same idea in mind for how this weekend was going to end," She said softly, as she brushed her fingers against the door.
After a few moments, Catherine slowly opened the door. She stood there for a minute, let out a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders as to say, now what?
Jackie offered a slight smile.
"Am I really toxic?" Catherine asked with a heartbroken face.
"Am I really not worth it?" Jackie answered with a question.
Catherine's eyes filled with tears again.
"That's the problem Porcupine, you are the only one who has ever been worth it."
Jackie pushed open the door and pulled Catherine into her arms. When they slowly broke their embrace, Catherine cupped Jackie's neck with her hands and then kissed her deeply, with a passion that she never fully let herself release before. Jackie started moving Catherine towards the bed. When they got to the edge, Jackie stepped back slightly and reached for the  bottom of Catherine's shirt; gently tugging it up over her head.
"You're so beautiful," she whispered before kissing her again.
Without breaking their kiss, Jackie gently laid Catherine down on the bed as she straddled her. Catherine grabbed Jackie's shirt and slowly pulled it up over head. Jackie then leaned forward and put her hands down on the bed, hovering over Catherine.
"I'm scared," Catherine whispered, as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
Jackie could feel Catherine's heart racing against her own chest, as she lay on top of her. She brought her hand up to Catherine's face and wiped away the tear. Then placed her hand over Catherine's.
"Don't be," Jackie whispered.
She then leaned down and kissed Catherine.
A/n: AHHH okay if you watched Bloomington you would remember Jackie's first night with Catherine and remember some parts in that scene. I decided to do the other way around to make it more interesting. Overall, this chapter is my fave at the moment.
Final note, thanks for reading my story. Please vote and drop a comment. Comments will help me a lot more than you might think. â¤ï¸