Jackie walked straight to the couch and plopped down in exhaustion.
"I'm going to go and change," Catherine said as she started making her way back to the bedroom.
Jackie got up and grabbed her arm, "Not so fast," she said, pulling her onto the couch. "Just lay with me here for a little bit first."
They cuddled in each others' arms for a few minutes in silence, before Catherine looked over and saw Jackie staring up at the ceiling.
"What's on your mind Porcupine?"
"You," she said, without hesitation.
"Good answer," Catherine smiled.
"Good rhyme," Jackie teased.
"Don't you need to prepare for your audition tomorrow?"
"Should I? Yes. Do I want to? No."
"Come on, I'll help you. I owe you for helping me with my speech," Catherine said as she began pulling herself up.
Jackie didn't want to. She just wanted to spend as much time as possible with Catherine before she had to go.
"You know I'm going to bug you until you go and get that script."
Jackie stood up and groaned. "Fiiine. God! Why do you always have to make me do better!" She sarcastically yelled as she pouted her way back to the bedroom.
Catherine laughed, she knew things would be rough between them if Jackie got this role, but she knew Jackie would eventually regret it if she passed up this opportunity. She would have to try to her best to hide her insecurities this time round.
Jackie made her way back to the living room, dragging her feet with her script in her hand.
"Oh, poor baby. So what's this one about?"
"Sci-fi again, go figure. It's one of those books they're making into a trilogy."
"Oh wow, is it a big part?"
"Not the lead, but a regular. I would have to sign on for all three films."
Panic began to set in. Catherine had no idea the role was this major. Instead of exposing her shock, she tried her best to project it onto Jackie.
"How are you not freaking out about this, Jackie? This is a big deal."
"You know why. And honestly, I would rather do something I'm passionate about. But since I've only played Tyler, I'm stuck in this typecast. I shouldn't complain though because I would have consistent work for 3-5 years, which is an actors dream."
"No you shouldn't. Also, your typecast isn't a bad thing when the genre you've been pushed into is huge right now."
"Yeah I know, I sound like a spoiled brat."
Catherine could tell Jackie was holding back on this role, and knew a lot of it had to do with her. In order to get her excited about it, she knew she had to be supportive.
"Well, let's try it out," Catherine said.
****
As they ran lines, Catherine kept thinking how she was always so attracted to Jackie when seeing her act. She was always so reserved and quiet, but whenever she was acting she became confident and sure of herself. They continued to read through it until Jackie no longer needed to look at the script. She then threw it on the table and they proceeded to relax again on the couch.
"Did you ever dream this would happen again?" Jackie asked, rubbing her thumb over Catherine's hand.
"Us?"
"Yeah."
"Dreamt of it? Of course I did. But honestly, I thought I would never see you again after that day."
"I didn't either. Then you came crawling back," Jackie said, cracking a smile that extended across her face.
"What?! Excuse me, but you were the one to make the first move. Plenty of them, actually," Catherine said defensively, smiling.
"Keep dreaming!" Jackie yelled, "You texted me first. You started all of this!"
"I was keeping it casual and friendly. I was just being a nice person," Catherine stated, defending her ego.
"And the jealousy about Tommy?"
"I wasn't jealous. You guys make a cute couple," She smiled sarcastically.
"America seems to think so," Jackie said, rolling her eyes.
"So they really think you guys are together?"
"We've never said we are, but yes they all assume."
"And were you?" Catherine wasn't going to admit it, but she began to feel jealous.
"Not like that, we just kept each other company a few times."
"Kept each other company?"
"Do you really want the gritty details?"
"No, that explains why he seemed so comfortable here though," Catherine suddenly put two and two together. "Wait, so if I wouldn't have shown up here that night..."
"Maybe, but I just wanted more wine and knew he would come."
"Ah," Catherine said.
"Why are we talking about this?" Jackie asked, "Next subject please."
"I told you, we need to be completely honest this time."
"Okay, fine. I'll play this game. How many were there then? And I want a number this time."
Catherine gave her a look. She didn't want to get into this again.
"Go on," Jackie said, waiting for a response, smirking.
"How many students?" Catherine asked, trying to kill time.
"Yes."
"Six."
"Including me?"
"Seven."
Jackie just looked at her with her eye brows raised. She was expecting no more than 4, so was a little taken aback.
Catherine didn't say anything else. She could sense Jackie wasn't finished with this conversation.
"So what really happened with them then? That's a lot of students to disappear."
"They didn't disappear. Whenever I felt them getting too serious, I would end it. They would transfer to a different class, and I would never see them again. People just assumed and made up rumours."
"Catherine Stark, heart breaker," Jackie laughed as she jokingly punched Catherine in the shoulder.
"They weren't exactly my shining moments," Catherine said, looking somewhat ashamed.
"We all have things we're not proud of. Come on, let's go to bed. Enough honesty for the night," Jackie said, slapping Catherine's knee.
****
When Jackie came out of the bathroom, Catherine was sound asleep. She was half tempted to wake her since this was their last night together, but decided not to since they didn't get much sleep the previous night. Instead, she crawled into bed and curled up next to her.
Jackie opened her eyes. She saw it beginning to lighten outside. Morning was coming and the thought of Catherine leaving made her nauseous. She was tired but didn't want to sleep away the last big of time they had. Catherine was still asleep, so she quietly got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. She got out a piece of paper, and decided to write Catherine a little note for the plane ride to ease her anxiety. When she was finished, she snuck back into the bedroom and hid it in Catherine's bag before crawling back in bed next to her.
****
Catherine woke up as she felt Jackie rustle behind her. She noticed the sun beginning to rise through the window and couldn't believe that it was morning already.
She turned around to face Jackie, "When did I fall asleep?
"As soon as you laid down."
"I'm sorry," Catherine was disappointed that she wasted their last night together.
"It's okay. It was a rough day and we didn't get much sleep the night before," she winked.
"True," Catherine smiled. "What time is it?"
Jackie turned to look at the clock, "6:30."
"Good, we have some time."
"I need to call Mike to let him know what time to get us. Is 8:30 good?"
"Yeah, you don't need to do that though. I can catch a cab."
"Don't be silly. My audition isn't until 11 and I have plenty of time."
Jackie called her driver Mike, to arrange for him to pick them up. Then turned around and laid back down next to Catherine.
"When am I going to see you again?" Jackie asked, avoiding eye contact.
"That's up to you. I'm the jobless one here. However, some of my connections at Stanford did email me though, asking if they can pass along my information. So, maybe I'll have some interviews out here soon."
"That's great news!" Jackie said, as she rolled over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. She pulled up her calendar and scrolled through it. "I have to go to Canada this weekend, but maybe I can arrange to stop by Bloomington sometime soon?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I'll have to talk to Wade and Matt and see when I can have a few days off."
Catherine smiled, "I would love that."
The idea of Jackie back in Bloomington made her face light up.
"Oh, no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to see you. I meant to see my main man Ethan. I guess I could squeeze in a little time for you though."
"Oh you could, could you?" Catherine rolled over and pinned Jackie beneath her.
"You're so violent! Ethan is a much better nurturer," Jackie said, playfully grinning.
"Shut up," Catherine laughed before she bent down to kiss her. They both took their time, not knowing when the next would be. Apparently too much time because Catherine glanced at the clock, it was after 8.
"Shit! Jackie, it's 8:07!"
"What?!"
Jackie ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower and then tried to make herself presentable. Catherine showered and fort ready as well. Mike was knocking at the door at 8:30 sharp.
"Catherine, can you get that please? Just give him your bags and let him know we will be down soon."
"Sure, no problem."
****
When Catherine came back, she saw Jackie frantically putting on make up. She wrapped her arms around her.
"It's okay, calm down."
"No, I can't. We need to get out of here! Please just give me a second to finish up."
"Okay, sorry. What can I do to help?"
"Nothing, just be ready to go," Jackie stood up and hurried her closet as Catherine walked out the room. It was clear that she needed her space.
Jackie threw her clothes on as fast as she could and checked herself out in the mirror before scrambling through the apartment, looking for the script.
"Catherine, do you know where my scripts is?!"
Catherine was standing by the door and was holding up the script smiling.
"Here you go. I grabbed some water bottles and granola bars from the kitchen too. Are you good to go?"
Jackie walked towards her relieved. She hugged her tight, "I'm sorry for snapping at you. Thanks so much. You're the best."
"Don't be sorry, just relax," Catherine said, as she tucked Jackie's hair behind her ear.
Jackie smiled at the gesture. She always loved when Catherine did that.
"Hurry back here, I need you," Jackie said, then kissed her before they made their way down to the car.
****
Traffic was a bumper to bumper. Catherine's flight was leaving in an hour and they were still at least 25 minutes away.
"As much as I would love you to miss your flight and stay here, I think the airlines would kill you if they had to reschedule again."
"Yeah, no kidding. I think the dog sitter would kill me first though," Catherine replied.
When they finally got to the airport, Catherine turned to Jackie, "I guess I'll see you when I see you?" She said as she leaned in for a kiss.
Jackie interrupted her, "I'll walk you in."
They entered the airport together but kept their distance. As they were walking to the check in line, a couple of preteens recognised Jackie and approached her for a picture.
"Sure!" Jackie said, as she began to make small talk with them. All of a sudden, more and more people started to come over until she finally had to leave the line. She looked over at Catherine with pain in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she mouthed to her.
Before she knew it, a mob of people were surrounding her.
"Hi everyone, I'm sorry but I'm in a hurry."
Her driver noticed the commotion and came in to help.
"Mike, I really need to say goodbye to Catherine in privacy."
"Miss Kirk, I don't think you're going to be able to hear. Why don't you have her meet you back in the car?"
Jackie saw Catherine finish checking in and tried making eye contact with her. When she finally looked her way, she pointed to her phone. She texted her, asking her to meet her back in the car. Jackie parted through the crowd and made her way back in the vehicle. Catherine also proceeded to make her way over, but there were too many people surrounding it now and she couldn't get through. She didn't have much time since they were already late to the airport. So Catherine called Jackie.
"Catherine, where are you?"
"I can't get through. There's too many people."
"Hold on. Mike is going to come and get you."
"Jackie, as much as I want to, I can't or I'll miss my flight."
"Catherine, please..."
"I'm sorry...Thanks so much for the last few days. They were amazing. Good luck at your audition and let me know how it goes."
"This is not how I wanted to end this weekend. I love you."
"I know. This is your world now though. I love you too Porcupine. Talk to you soon."
****
As Jackie's car pulled away from the airport, she couldn't shake the feeling that this weekend could have possibly been just a one time thing with Catherine. Catherine already told her that she couldn't deal with the sneaking around, so the fact that they couldn't even say goodbye to each other was probably the last straw for her. She didn't even get to kiss her goodbye. Jackie felt terrible so she sent her a text.
J: I'm so sorry, please forgive me. Have a safe flight back and call me when you land. I love you. P.S check the front pocket of your bag  xoxox
****
I don't know if I can live like this, Catherine thought to herself, as soon as she was seated on the plane. As much as she wanted to be with Jackie, especially after this weekend, she wasn't sure if she could handle this lifestyle. She had been out of the spotlight for 5 years, so no one made too big a deal over her. Here she was a movie star, and it would only get worse if she got this new role. When Catherine went to turn off her phone for the flight, she saw Jackie's text. She checked her bag and found the note. She knew Jackie felt guilty and didn't want her going into her audition upset. So she messaged back to Jackie.
C: It's okay, I promise. Go crush that interview! Found the note and I will read it during my flight :) Love you too Porcupine xoxo
Catherine opened the letter. In the letter, Jackie joked about the plane, trying to ease her anxiety, but then went on to completely expose her feelings for her.
When Catherine finished it, she felt guilty about having doubts. She tucked the letter away and closed her eyes the rest of the flight. Her mind heavy with decisions she would need to make about her future.
****
Jackie sat in the waiting room and was nervous tapping her fingers on the chair. She just wanted this audition to be over with because her anxiety levels were through the roof.
"Jacqueline Kirk? They're ready for you."
She stood up and made her way into the room. As she was reading her lines, tears began forming behind her eyes. This nightmare, she thought. When she was done, the entire panel was silent.
She apologised but the casting director replied, "Don't apologise, that was great!"
Jackie was shocked and assumed they thought she was a basket case.
"Thanks so much Jacqueline. We will be in touch."
Jackie smiled and shook their hands, as she thanked them for their time.
As soon as she got to the car, she told Mike to drive to Wade's office. She took out her phone and dialled.
"Wade, I need to meet with you and Matt ASAP. I'm on my way to your office."
When she got to the agency, Jackie walked straight into his office.
"Jackie, what's going on? How was the audition?"
"It was great but that's not why I'm here. Is Matt coming?"
"He couldn't make it so he's going to conference in."
"Okay, call him."
Wade looked at her both confused and suspicious as he dialled Matt's number.
"Hey Matt, Jackie's here."
"Hey Jackie, what's going on?"
"I have to tell you guys something that you're probably not going to like."
"Okay..." Matt replied.
"I didn't go to Stanford to see an old friend, and I didn't blow off my audition yesterday because I was sick. I went to see my ex-girlfriend. Before you ask, I don't exactly classify myself as a lesbian, but I fell in love with a woman and she isn't just some stage I'm going through. I've experimented before and this is much more. She also happened to be ten years older than me, and a college professor who lost her job over our relationship back in Bloomington."
Wade and Matt were both silent. So Jackie continued to ramble on.
"I know this is a PR nightmare, but I don't care. Because the truth is, I've been absolutely miserable this past year without her, and I would rather give up this entire career than hide her to be without her. Also, don't schedule anything after the Vancouver premier this weekend. I'm stopping in Bloomington on the way back."
Wade just sat there staring at Jackie, and Matt was silent on the phone.
Finally, Matt broke the silence.
"Well this is quite the news. First off, I'm completely okay with this, but are you telling me you want to come out? Because I've got to tell you, I'm not sure that's a good idea with the audition you just went on. It could skew their opinion on you. Not to mention you and Tommy are a hot item right now in the press."
"I don't want to announce anything. I just want to be able to hold my girlfriend's hand in public."
"Can you tell me more about this Bloomington scandal? And why is this the first time I'm hearing about it?" Asked Wade, slightly angry.
"Because it wasn't made pubic. The head of the department is a family friend of hers, so he just asked her to resign rather than firing her. He didn't release the details to the public and shredded the photos."
"Photos?!"
"They aren't incriminating. Some paparazzi followed me to her house one day, and it just shows me going inside."
"Jackie, you know as soon as they hear her name they're going to figure this all out and leak the story," Wade said.
"I don't want her name released. I don't even what you guys to confirm it if they do find out. If they figure it out on their own, so be it. She didn't ask for this life and I damaged her career enough. Okay?"
"Yeah, okay. But they will eventually find out once they start digging. It's their job too," Wade warned.
"I still need more of this story. Every detail please," Matt said.
"It's not as bad as it sounds. She was a Psychology professor but she didn't teach any of the classes I took."
"Okay, that's somewhat of a relief, but this is still going to cause an uproar," Matt responded.
"Yeah I know. That's why this is the first you're hearing of it."
"First and foremost, we need to schedule a meeting with PR to figure this whole thing out. I also really have to press that this may ruin your chance of getting that role. So think hard about it," Matt said.
"I want her to be part of the PR meeting. This affects her too," said Jackie.
"Yeah, of course. This needs to happen sooner than later though," Matt said.
"I know. I'll talk to her and get back to you."
"Alright Matt, we will talk to you later to get this set up," Wade held a finger up to Jackie to motion Jackie to stay quiet and hung up the phone.
He just stared at her before a sly smile appeared on his face.
"It's Catherine, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Nice choice," he winked.
"I think so too," she smiled.
"You know I support you 100% but Matt is right. This could affect the movie. So think hard about what can and cannot wait."
"I promise you I will. Thanks again Wade."
When Jackie got back in the car, she looked at the time and figured Catherine would have called by now. She didn't want to bombard her, especially after that letter. So she decided to clean her apartment to kill some time when she got home.
An hour and a half later, Catherine still didn't call. She began to worry so she texted her. No answer. Jackie headed down to the store a couple of blocks away from her apartment. She grabbed two bottles of wine. She knew Catherine wouldn't approve it but she needed to ease the anxiety she was feeling. When she got back to her apartment, Catherine still hadn't texted her back. So Jackie decided it was time to call. She called twice, letting the phone ring until it went to voice mail both times.
Then opened up the first bottle of wine.
A/n Thanks for reading my story. Please vote and drop a comment. Comments will help me a lot more than you might think. â¤ï¸