Catherine tried to go back to sleep but found it impossible. She knew this time was different, but it didn't make it hurt any less.
Last time, she released Jackie to live her dream. Now Jackie was releasing her to do the same. She would come back this time though, wouldn't she?
As Catherine laid in bed, she thought back to before how Jackie didn't even attempt to make contact with her. If it wasn't for her reaching out, none of this would have ever happened. They would both still be living separate lives.
The last four months had been a whirlwind four months. How is it possible that they experienced so much in just four months? So many different cities, so many different hotel rooms, so much happiness and so much heartbreak.
The longer she laid awake, the more her mind wondered. Their first time  was only four months as well. That couldn't be right, could it? She counted in her mind.
It was.
Only a few short months before, things went sour. Could they really make it, considering this was now their second go at it, and still found themselves drifting apart? An odd sense of relief surfaced. She was thankful she took the Stanford job. Catherine couldn't imagine being in LA if they didn't work out this time.
No.
She didn't want to think like that. Despite it all, Catherine couldn't imagine going back to a life without Jackie. Wanting to shake the sudden sickness she felt at the pit of her stomach, she got out of bed.
Even though it was only 6am, she grabbed Ethan's leash and took him for a walk around the new neighbourhood that they now would call it home. Catherine was hoping it would help to silence her insecurities.
****
Jackie didn't do much of anything her first week home. She was still nervous about the paparazzi finding out she was back in town, so she hid in her apartment. Now she was soaking in the solitude of it, considering she hadn't been alone in months.
Rachel was on her way over now to drop off some scripts for Jackie to take a look at.
"Hey kiddo. Welcome home," Rachel smiled, her arms filled scripts and bags of Jackie's favourite take out.
"Bless your heart!" Jackie beamed as she helped her with the load. "You don't know how long I've been craving this!"
"So how's it been? Being back at home and all?" Rachel asked, as she emptied the bags onto the coffee table.
"Good," Jackie replied, tearing open the containers and stuffing her face with the food.
Rachel shot her a look.
"What?" She asked with a mouthful of food.
"That's all you're going to give me? You've been gone for months, survived a terrible accident, are miles away from your girlfriend, and all I get is a 'good'?"
Jackie rolled her eyes.
"Can I just have one week to myself without someone on my case? Exhibit a lot of things you just listed that I went though, don't I deserve some time to myself to do absolutely nothing?"
"Yes, and now that week is over. So here you are," she said, pushing the scripts across the table.
"How long do I have?"
"First one is in a few days."
"Negative," Jackie shot back straight away.
"Jacks..."
"I need time to get back on the horse."
"It's acting. Not bull riding."
"Tell that to the studio execs who cut me out of their feature."
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked with confusion.
"Wade didn't tell you?"
"No?"
"They want me. Wanted me. But said due to the extend of my injures, I am too much of a liability."
"That's a load of crap."
"Yeah, well, apparently I'm a cripple now."
"Forget them. You didn't even want it anyway."
"I didn't then..."
"But you do now?"
"It might have been nicer to throw myself into something."
"You really think you and Cathrine could've handled that?"
"Is she here right now?" Jackie asked, looking around sarcastically.
"No, because you left her."
"I didn't leave her any more than she left me," Jackie responded defensively. "She took that job at Stanford. She could have taken the UCLA position. Even before things changed, it was never in our plans for me to move down there. Not full time at least. I can't."
"How is she going?"
"Fine, I assume."
"You haven't talked to her?"
Jackie could feel her judgements.
"Here and there. She's really busy setting up her apartment and everything with her job. I don't want to get in the way and mess her life up more than I already have. Especially now."
When Jackie looked up, Rachel was just looking back her. She was concerned.
"Things got really rough those last few weeks. She didn't deserved that version of me. I just need some time," Jackie continued on talking.
"I hope you guys work it out," Rachel replied, supplying a sad face.
"We will. We're just in a transition. We will be fine."
****
Jackie spent the next few days memorising the scripts. She was feeling this sense of uneasiness about jumping back into it so soon. Despite Wade and Rachel's wishes, she was going to skip the first audition. She didn't want to go into her first audition feeling unprepared.
It was times like these that she missed Catherine's support. It had been a few days since they talked, so she decided to call her.
Once she dialled, she sat back on the couch and fanned the pages of the script in anticipation of hearing Catherine's voice. Then she came to realisation on how much she had missed her. It rang longer than usual until it finally went to voicemail.
That was the first time it ever happened for her.
****
Catherine's living room was a mess. She tore through every box looking for her bunny, but it was no where to be found. There was no way she left it in Bloomington. She remembered packing it.
When she went back into her bedroom to double check, she saw her phone screen was lit up.
"Hey there!" Jackie responded cheerfully on the other end.
"Hey, sorry. I was in the other room," Catherine sighed, laying down on the bed.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I think I lost something in the move and I've been tearing open every single box looking for it."
"Oh no. What did you lose?"
"Don't laugh."
"I promise," Jackie responded.
"My bunny."
"Aw. Well, I'm sure you will find it when you're at least expecting it."
"I hope so. What's up with you? Did you need something?"
Catherine thought that the phone call was quite unexpected.
"No, just sitting here trying to memorise a script. I came to realisation on how it was much more fun when you would help me."
"Oh really? Are you starting to audition again?"
Catherine was thrilled to hear that Jackie was getting back to work, and more thrilled that she was thinking about her.
"Yes. Ugh, that makes me nauseous for just saying it."
"You're going to do great. Is there someone you can practice with? Rachel maybe?"
Jackie laughed, "She's not the greatest person to read lines with."
"I wish I could help."
"Me too. So what's new with you? Sounds like the apartment is a headache, but how's Stanford?"
They talked a little longer about Catherine's new life in Stanford before Jackie let her go. She seemed well and happier. A lot happier than she had been in Bloomington at least.
Catherine was hoping that Jackie was making improvements and was wondering when they would see each other next. Thankfully, she had her work to throw herself into in the meantime.
****
Catherine seemed stressed and distracted, Jackie thought to herself. She hoped she wasn't adding any to it. She couldn't let her emotions get in the way of her plan to work on herself though.
After that call, she decided to give her some more time to adjust, communicating with her less, spending all of her time diving into the scripts, brushing up her acting techniques, and most importantly- not picking up a bottle of alcohol.
****
As the first day of classes drew nearer, Catherine became more and more nervous. She spent the majority of her time working on lesson plans and was trying to revamp her originals, considering she was now a big time at Stanford. She wanted to keep things fresh and exciting. Â She spent many late nights pushing herself to do more.
Despite the long hours she was putting in, Jackie's silence wasn't going unnoticed.
****
The day of Jackie's first audition, Jackie looked in the mirror and was carefully smoothing her hair in place.
"You got this," she told herself confidently.
When she arrived, she took a deep breath in the car before going in. She felt her stomach was in knots. As she entered the hallway, there was a sea of girls waiting. All of them were staring at their scripts and mumbling the lines to themselves.
Jackie caught eyes with a few of them, as she made her way to check in. On her way back to find a seat, more and more girls were now staring at her and whispering as she walked down the hall. Unable to find an empty chair, she leaned against the wall as the whispering become more profound.
She tried to ignore them but caught on to some of their words.
Drunk.
Tommy.
Car.
Hiding.
Jackie tried to block it out by reading the lines on the pages but they began to blur as she saw the tears beginning to form. Her heart began to race so hard and she could hear it pounding in her ears as both they, and her face, began to radiate. The swirling of the whispering was amplifying and it made her head spin.
With that, she quickly disappeared around the corner and out the building. As soon as she reached to her car, she began sobbing. She pounded her fists against the steering wheel once she got inside her car. She had worked so hard since coming back to LA, and only to end up right back in the dark place she had come from.
When she was driving home, she became more and more angry over what had just happened. Walking to her door, she pulled out her phone. She didn't call Rachel because she would be mad at her for missing the audition, and she most certainly couldn't call Catherine because she didn't want her to know she had failed.
Pausing at the door, she placed her phone back in her pocket and turned around to head back down the street.
****
"Hey Catherine."
"Hey Rachel, what's up?" Catherine asked as she balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear, while busily collecting her things from the desk.
"Is Jackie visiting you?"
"No. Why?" She asked with confusion.
"She didn't show up for her audition today."
Catherine stopped what she was doing.
"You're kidding me."
"I wish I was."
"Well, did you check her apartment?"
"That's where I am right now."
Catherine sighed, "I'll try to get hold of her but if she's not answering you, I doubt she will answer me. We haven't exactly been talking much lately. Let me know if you hear anything."
****
When a couple of hours passed and Rachel still hadn't heard back from Jackie, Catherine began to worry. Struggling to pay attention to her work without glancing at he phone every few minutes, she decided to just head to Los Angeles to put her mind at ease.
Classes begin on Monday, so spending her last few days in LA wasn't exactly what she had wanted, but she couldn't help about her fear of losing Jackie.
After the long drive, it was almost 11pm by the time she arrived at Jackie's apartment. She decided to first try to buzz her at the main door, but when she didn't answer, she pulled the key out that she still had from when Jackie was in the hospital.
The apartment was dark and when she flicked on the lights, she was taken back at the filthiest of it. Take out boxes and alcohol bottles were everywhere.
So much for working on herself.
Catherine had spotted her car when she was parking, so she decided to walk down the street and check out the spots she had taken her before. With no luck, she headed back.
Just then, she thought she spotted Jackie walking down the street in front of her.
But she wasn't alone.
Catherine pulled out her phone and dialled Jackie's number. She paused as she watched her remove the phone from her pocket, look at it, then slid it back into her jeans.
In disbelief and was unable to move, Catherine then looked on as Jackie and the girl disappear into her apartment.
****
C: Jackie's fine and she's at her apartment. I'm going back home.
Catherine texted Rachel before making her way back to the car. Before Catherine even opened the door, Rachel started to call her.
"You're going back to Stanford? It's almost midnight. What's going on?"
"I just need to get out of here. I don't need this right now."
"If something happened with you and Jackie, stay at my apartment. It's way too late for you to drive."
"I'll be okay. I'll stop if I get too tired."
****
The next morning, Jackie woke up to Rachel shouting at her in her apartment.
"Screening your calls now, are we? Where have you been?!"
"Here," Jackie responded.
She was annoyed to be woken like this in such a way.
"No you weren't. I was here. What the hell is this Jackie? Look at this mess. I could even smell the alcohol from the hallway. Why didn't you go to your audition?"
"I forgot about it," Jackie lied.
"Forgot about it? So you couldn't even pick up your phone? Do you know how worried we were? Not to mention poor Catherine drove all the way here, even though she starts her new job on Monday."
"Wait, what?"
"What do you mean, what?"
"Catherine wasn't here."
"Yes she was. I talked to her myself."
"Rachel, Catherine was never here."
Rachel pulled out her phone and showed Catherine's message.
"I even talked to her on the phone when she was driving on the way back to Stanford. She was pretty upset."
"I don't understand. I never saw her," Jackie replied back with confusion.
Just them, the toilet flushed and Rachel looked at her suspiciously. The door opened and a blonde girl walked into the living room shyly.
"I'm going to head out. I'll see you later," she said, before grabbing her purse from the chair and started to walk her way out.
"Who are you?" Rachel snapped, after turning back to Jackie, eyes with full of disappointment. "No wonder Catherine was so upset and drove straight back to Stanford."
"It's not what it looks like."
"All I see is an apartment full of booze and a girl leaving your apartment early in the morning. How would you like to see this scene at Catherine's?"
"She's just a friend. Can't I have age appropriate friends?"
"Age appropriate friends? Gee, thanks Jackie. I'll be sure to relay that one back to you, much more than your mature age girlfriend who just spent the last few months aiding you back to help you. Then now you just disrespect her like this."
Rachel looked around the apartment before turning back one last time as she opened the door.
"You know, I was always so impressed with how great of a person you turned out to be; considering you were a child actor. But now..."
Rachel just shook her head.
"This isn't you. Catherine deserves better."
And with that, she closed the door and left.
After Rachel left, Jackie called Catherine but there was no answer. Then there continued to be no answer for  the rest of the weekend.
A/n Thanks for reading my story. Please vote and drop a comment. Comments will help me a lot more than you might think. â¤ï¸