Chapter 61: ♤Chapter 48♤

Julia was in the middle of telling me how she'd spent the day with her boyfriend and what they did, but for the life of me, I couldn't focus.

It wasn't the loud music and shouting people. Nor was it the half-naked bodies running about the place. Everyone forgot to mention that it was a pool party until I found out from Jess. Jess who tried to force me into one of her bikinis. For one, I didn't care how close I was to her, I wasn't going to wear her bikini, and they couldn't fit me anyway.

What I'd learned was, this party was thrown in honor of finals week that was coming up for the seniors. Being the gods of high school, or so they felt, they had their exams a whole two weeks before the rest of the student body. Why? I couldn't figure it out. And was I jealous? Yes, because I wanted to be done more than half of these people, but I had to be one school year younger.

I say 'school year' because there were seniors who I was older than. It made no sense.

But the reason why it was hard keeping up with what my friend was saying was because of Christian.

Chris, who I could feel staring at me from across the room.

Since it was a pool party, most people were outside and could only walk through the kitchen to go out there, so some of us who weren't swimming were in here.

I was sitting on the counter, leaned in close to hear Julia over the bass from outside. Chris was staring me down. I felt it before I saw him and after I spotted him, I couldn't un-spot him. Even though I wasn't looking, I was aware of his every move. It didn't matter if he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

Thankfully though, I tuned in when Julia was telling me they went ice skating and her boyfriend, Kolton, ended up hurting his wrist. It was an eventful day for them but he's fine. I asked her when I was going to get to meet him and she said he was coming to the party, so that's something I was looking forward to.

We talked a little bit more and she told me about him. I already knew he used to go to our school, from what I've heard. He was a year older than her and he went to some university in New York. I swear, everyone lives in my city but me.

A few minutes later she had her phone in hand and let out a weird excited sound that had me snickering as she announced he was outside. She went to go get him, and sighing, I finally looked full-on at Chris.

Surprisingly, he hadn't been looking at me anymore but a second later, his eyes met mine. I curled my finger at him and he didn't say a thing before he was leaning away from the wall and swerving around the kids in his way.

I covered my mouth against a laugh when someone came sliding across the floor and he had to take a quick step back so he didn't get run over. The guy had bubbles covering him from head to toe and flying everywhere.

"I'm gonna need you to cut back on the staring," I said, swinging my legs back and forth to play off how my body was reacting to him being close to me.

We'd been keeping our distance from each other since we spotted the other when we got here. It wasn't because we were avoiding each other. I didn't know why exactly, but it wasn't because we had sex and were still struggling to accept that it happened. In real life. Definitely, not that.

"Ari," he said, his expression guilty as he stopped in front of me. He didn't come too close or touch me, even though I knew he wanted to.

I tilted my head back to stare at the ceiling. "Please, don't start."

"I'm so sorry," he said anyway.

Sighing heavily, I moved my braids over my shoulder and reached up to make sure my bun was still secure enough. It felt suspiciously heavy like it was falling apart, but it was just me being paranoid.

I shook my head, watching him go into panic mode. This was him the whole ride back to my house after yesterday, making everything awkward even when I specifically said I wouldn't care if it was bad.

Leaning forward, I gripped his face in my hand, squishing his cheeks together and pulling him to me. "Chromium," I started for the thousandth time since yesterday afternoon, "it's okay." I couldn't help the small laugh that left me.

"But-"

I shook my head and he stopped. "No, don't do that. I'm glad it was you."

He twisted his head out of my hand, his face turning light pink, making me smile. "How can you even say that?" He said it so low that I almost missed it over the booming bass. "Anyone else could've been better."

I pressed my lips together. I wasn't confirming his thoughts because the events had taken a toll on his already fragile ego. I hated to see it, but it didn't matter what I said now, nothing was changing his mind; that is, that he's the worst lover on earth at the moment. Not unless he got better at it. As a matter of fact, we both needed to.

This wasn't solely on him, but he seemed to keep forgetting that, and thought it was his duty to make sure it was great for the both of us.

The sex wasn't mind-blowing. But I didn't want to say it was horrible because it was with him so it meant something to me.

It hurt a little at first. It was more uncomfortable than painful actually and for the most part, I didn't really... feel anything. And it wasn't because he was micro or anything, the boy had junk and I definitely felt him. I just didn't feel whatever it was that everyone else felt. And I told him. But after a few adjustments, and nothing, we kind of just... stopped.

At first, it was awkward. Both of us stared up at the ceiling—quiet—until he broke the silence by saying a very Chris thing; "I knew I was gonna do that."

Since then I've been trying to explain to him that I was fine but he's not letting this go. Not anytime soon. But I wasn't giving up. I messed this up for him too, and I wasn't going to let him keep downing himself.

I shrugged and reach for my bottle of water next to me, screwing the top off as I said, "Practice makes perfect, right?"

He opened his mouth to reply and I watched the words sink into his brain, leaving his mouth hanging open.

"You're," he sputtered, still gaping at me, "incredible."

I smiled around the bottle at my lips.

I spotted Julia coming back, tugging a guy with her. He leaned down to say something in her ear and she gave him that lovestruck look I've seen a few times. Then she laughed, making me smile and look away.

Feeling Chris's eyes on me again, I turned my gaze back to him. "Eyes away."

He shook his head. "I'll look away when I want to," he said sassily. And just like that, we were back to normal. Somewhat.

I recognized Kolton when he was close enough. He was a familiar face who used to roam our hallways in one of those athlete jackets, but I forgot what he used to play. His blonde hair fell into his eyes continuously, but it wasn't in an obnoxious way. To be honest, it just made him look even hotter. He was a looker, I couldn't ignore it, I just had to make sure I didn't stare at him more than I needed to. Drunk Julia might be a little more territorial than the sober one.

We talked for a while and I got to know him since possibly everyone here already did. I was more interested in his college life because why the hell not? I'd take as much knowledge as I could even though I had a whole year left in high school.

"I'm going outside," Julia said, tilting her cup back and gulping down half of it. She breathed heavily, her eyes rolling back. Kolton shook his head at her, a smile on his lips. "Might dip my feet in the water. Who's coming?"

"Are there enough seats out there, I'm not standing up for too long." They all knew I was lazy; it wasn't a secret. I'll find someone to sit on if I needed to.

I shifted on the counter, realizing how numb my ass felt. I've been sitting here too long. But the shift reminded me why I haven't been moving a lot all night and not just because I was lazy this time.

There was a slight aching in my thighs and other areas I didn't want to think about because if I did, I'd think back to what activities put it there.

My back straightened and I rolled my neck, placing my hands on my thighs and discreetly trying to massage them.

"Let's go find out!" she shouted, walking away. "Who's ready to party!" Her words brought on a round of cheers and I laughed when Kolton leaned down and had her over his shoulder in one movement.

"Need some help?"

I looked back at Chris. He moved closer until his stomach pressed against my knees, and he placed my hands on his shoulders. Then he curled his arms behind me, pulling me off the counter slowly.

I groaned involuntarily at the low throb that basically vibrated in my body. Damn, we didn't even go for that long. I expected him to place me on the ground but I was wrong. He kept holding me, and I was left pressed against him with my feet dangling to the floor. He took a step back.

I laughed, instinctively wrapping my legs around his waist. "What are you doing?" I ignored the sound of the muscles in my thighs screaming.

"I'm sure they have painkillers in here," he said. I looked over my shoulder when he started going through cabinets.

"Um, no. I'm not taking any of these people's drugs. I don't care what's on the bottle, we don't know what's in them."

He stopped and looked down at me, staring at me quietly for a moment. I blinked at him, dead serious.

"Your paranoia makes you so logical, it's irritating."

I grinned. "Thank you."

We joined the party outside with me still wrapped around him like a koala bear and him weaving through the crowd effortlessly. I was fist-pumping and waving my arms like an idiot to an AJR song that was booming. As a result, a few whistles and cheers erupted after people spotted us. I was the only person outside of the pool who was being carried, after all.

Chris wasn't really paying any attention to me until he heard them and looked around and noticed we were the center of attention. Then he stopped and started dancing while holding me. I had no clue how we looked, but all I could do was laugh. Then we both started singing and I was dancing as much as I can in this position.

We didn't entertain them for too long though. Just a few seconds before he laughed and started walking again. I kept rocking to the beat and snapping my fingers, though. Another round of cheers came soon and I grinned, waving at our friends.

"Hi!"

"Where y'all been?" That was Carlos. He was only in a pair of black swim trunks and hell if I wasn't blessed to see it. I couldn't help it. If the guy looked good, he looked good.

Chris walked me over to a couch where the girls were and practically threw me on top of them. I screamed with the rest of them and gaped at him once I was sitting right and not on top of anyone. All he did was smile.

"How's the pool?" He started walking backward toward the pool.

"Wait- what are you doing?" I stuttered, a little excited but not wanting to believe he was about to do what I thought he was about to do.

No one else seemed to see this though because somebody just said, "Perfect."

He kept walking backward, pulling his shirt over his head. Then he leaned down to take his shoes off, still stumbling backward.

And like clockwork, once he was standing at the edge of the pool, he did a backflip into the deep end. A round of cheers went up while I sat there, my mouth practically on my lap.

Every time I thought I know everything there is to know what that guy, he added something else to the list. What the hell was that! I didn't know he could do that.

"What the fuck?" I said. I looked at the girls when they laughed.

"Chris is extra sometimes, you know that," Mar said.

"I didn't know he could do that though." I gestured to the pool. He still hadn't come back up yet.

"Really?" Her head tilted and it looked like she was thinking.

I shook my head but mostly because I figured it wasn't a big deal anymore. I looked over everyone, searching for the one person I hadn't seen enough of. "Where's Thion?"

"Probably fucking around with somebody's daughter," Jess said, her fingers flying across her phone screen.

I pursed my lips, nodding. "Cool." We snickered before falling into a round of laughter.

We sat around for a while, chatting, and being our usual loud selves. I watched kids cannonball into the pool, but sat my ass down the whole time. For one, my legs aren't working enough for me to run or even walk too much. I'm being overdramatic but I didn't care. I didn't like being in any kind of pain. But this one was a little nice. A reminder.

Chris, like a fool, swam around for a while, in his jeans, and talked to almost everyone in there. Sometimes I forgot he had a bigger social life than the one I'm apart of and it made me understand a lot more why he needed to go away this summer.

He's not going to have this anymore. At least not every day. He's going to be one of those people who looked back or say he wished he could go back to high school because he had great memories and surrounded himself with great people.

I, on the other hand... I'm new to it. The second I leave that school I'm done. That's it for me. And the next year can't come and go fast enough.

"I have a solution for your," Jess paused, and I turned to her, "dress situation." I didn't react. "That's if you're still going to prom?"

Nodding, my eyebrows furrowed. "Of course, I'm still going. I know I looked scary, crying all over you like a fool but I still want to go."

She smiled, reaching up to play with the ends of my braids. "You're not a fool for not being okay, Ari. It just sucks that you had to go through that. And you didn't tell us."

I cleared my throat, feeling all the emotions from that day trying to swallow me up. It was a lot all at once and sitting here, thinking about it was enough for me to start tearing up again. I'm tired of it.

"I wanted to be okay," I said, my voice coming out lower than intended. "I knew I wasn't, but I wanted to be. And when I got there, it's like... everything inside me went dark. I didn't know what to do with myself, I kept looking over my shoulder-" I cleared my throat again, trying to get rid of the tightness I felt. When I inhaled, my nose was stuffed. I was a mess and my next words came out hoarse. "I wanted everything to be back to normal."

"Did you tell your mom?" she said, her hand rubbing my arm.

I made a face. "Yeah. She cussed me out."

That had her hollering. Her head tilted back and she laughed so loud a few people turned to stare.

I chuckled. "You're laughing. I'm serious! The whole thing had me crying all over again and ol girl ain't even care. She just kept going. Hurting all my feelings." Jess was wheezing now. "Listen, I was hurt. If I didn't have to ask her if I could come here, I wouldn't be talking to her right now."

I understood though and I half expected her to say I couldn't come to the party, but she didn't. She was probably guilty that I was crying and I don't cry around her a lot.

Smiling, Jess patted my arm. "We'll find you something."

I smiled back and nodded. I didn't doubt I could find a dress, I'd just have to go somewhere else. I didn't know where and I'm not an online shopper, especially when it came to clothes, but being surrounded by people like my mom and Jess, we'll figure it out somehow.

Most of the girls left me to go hang out by the pool or take a swim since I was the only one who didn't have a bathing suit it looked like. I was fine though; I wasn't going to get in there even if I had.

But them leaving me alone had my thoughts straying. Specifically, when my gaze found Chris, hoisting himself out of the pool. For a second, it was like one of those movie scenes where the camera focused on the super-hot guy and he started moving in slow motion, but it was my mind slowing down his actions and even drowning out the music until it was background noise.

I blinked, taking in some well-needed air when I felt my chest burning. My dumbass had stopped breathing. What the hell?

Being around this guy was turning my life into a walking cliché because he did the next best thing other than standing there with water running over him—he reached up and brushed his hand through his soaked hair before running it down his face. Then he shook his head like a dog does to get dry, but even that was hot as hell.

I'm sure I was in the same state as every chick in the vicinity as I openly checked him out.

I was convinced he was sick in the head when I noticed his jeans again. They're mostly black now with water gushing out through the foot holes like a faucet was on under there. After letting my eyes trail back up his body and take in his firm torso and the abs he'd been working on, I figured I didn't really mind that he did something so impulsive. It wasn't killing anyone.

Lord knows that slight v leading into his pants was going to kill me though. And all the demons on earth knew I'd let it.

Letting out a calming breath, I tried to look away before he could see me staring at him like he was the last slice of steaming ham at the dinner table. I failed.

As he got closer, I zoned in on a bright red spot on his hipbone, partially hidden by the waistband of his underwear. It reminded me of how great it had gone up until the last part of our activities yesterday.

My stomach dropped, rolled, and tried to cave in on itself. It got too hot with all the people out here and I panicked at the possibility that someone would see it and point it out. And trust me, I knew if someone saw it, they'd point it out. I didn't want to be out here when that happened.

I got up, happy to have an excuse to go inside—I needed the bathroom.

There weren't a lot of people in the house, thank goodness! The hardest part was getting through the kitchen, but after that, I was fine. There were a few people lounging on the stairs and I had to walk through the living room, which was huge, to get to the bathroom on this floor.

I forgot whose party it was, but I remember meeting the guy when we'd come in a little over two hours before. He was nice. He was one of those people who they knew since like elementary or something. I couldn't relate, obviously.

His house was like Jess's but with a lot more square feet added to it. It had mostly glass walls, lots of plants here and there, with glass banisters and corridors on the second and third floors, overlooking the ground one. There were people up there too, cups dangling over the edges in their hands.

I spotted Thion sitting on one of the fancy white couches with a girl on his lap. Thion wasn't a pool person hence why he was fully clothed, and the girl was in a tiny black bikini. I noticed her legs first. Just sitting down, I could tell she was tall, probably six feet.

I might be exaggerating since almost everyone's tall to me, but I stand by it.

Staring at her, I kind of felt... a way. Her brown skin glowed under the yellow tinted lights to where she looked golden in some places. Her hair was dark and went straight down her back, not even a wave curling it. It was the same girl he'd been talking to at Shannon's party a few weeks ago before he'd kissed Nate. She was giving him a flirty smile.

Staring at her had me feeling like a kid wishing I could grow up and look like her. She was a woman.

I've seen her at school and sometimes she's around our group as an extended member, but she was always there for him. She looked older than most of us, but then again, so did Thion. They were actually really cute together but for some reason, Thion hasn't dated in forever and it didn't look like he was starting now.

He spotted me as I'm walking by. "Where you going?"

I snickered, trying to keep my eyes off them as I replied. "Bathroom." I didn't care what was going on, but watching people be all intimate and stuff made me uncomfortable sometimes. I felt like I was looking at something I wasn't supposed to.

"Scream if there's trouble," he called after me.

My face burned and I muttered, "Oh God."

I found the bathroom quickly. There were a few people hanging out in the hallway and a couple making out, but again, I tried not to look at them. It kind of made me cringe because then I remembered how I was with Chris and practically all the other guys in our group.

I sent an apology to every who had to deal with all our gooeyness, but I didn't really mean it since I was going to keep doing it anyway. We might not be dating any of them, but they were ours until they found themselves girlfriends.

I did what I had to do but still stayed in the bathroom for a little bit. I stared at myself in the mirror above the sink, trying to see where exactly my acne was getting better like Chris said.

It wasn't as bad as it used to be, but I still had the works. It would take a few months for it all to clear up if I kept using what I was, which ended up being African black soap, an acne serum and face cream I had my mom get for me online. That includes face scrubs, peels, and clay masks.

I've been trying to not worry about it and let the process take care of it, but it's hard when all I see is what my face shouldn't look like when I looked in the mirror.

"The second he leaves, I'm cutting off junk food," I said to myself. Chris loved fattening me up but he's going to be disappointed when he comes back from college and saw me. All this weight is coming off.

Not because I was gonna work out. I knew my old habits were going to come back because Chris wouldn't be here to hound me about eating or buying me stuff. It's not healthy, but that's what's gonna happen.

I didn't know how long I was in the bathroom, but I only stepped away from the mirror when there was a knock at the door.

"You're still a pretty bitch, though," I said to myself, angling my head side to side as I walked back to the door.

I spun around when the door is right behind me, adjusting my glasses before I opened it. I only needed my glasses for class when I had to see the board, I really didn't need it for everyone else—I didn't need to see them—but I felt like wearing it tonight.

"My bad," I said when I opened the door, only to stop halfway out. "Are you following me or something, my guy?" I grinned.

Chris made a funny face, shaking his head. "You're so full of yourself." I rolled my eyes, trying to step past him. "Of course, I'm following you."

I giggled, letting my eyes run down his body again. "Why are you still naked?" He was still in his soaked jeans and that was it. He was just walking around the place shirtless and barefoot in wet pants.

"That's why I was looking for you," he said. "I need help taking the rest of it off."

My eyebrows raised even though a look of embarrassment crossed his face.

"I have no right to say that to you, actually," he grumbled, reaching up to tug at his hair. It was clear he was frustrated with himself.

Stepping close to him, I placed my hand on his hip and sliding it to his stomach. "Why do you keep doing that?" I retorted. I didn't give him a chance to answer. "You think I don't feel just as bad as you do?"

My hand dropped to his waistband and whatever he'd been saying cut off as he stared down at me with his mouth open. "Did it mean something to you?"

"Of course," he said, his voice coming out breathless.

I smiled. "And that's all that matters." I dropped my hand and leaned back to flip the switch in the bathroom to turn the light off. "I'm sure we can find some shorts in this house somewhere." I took his hand, lacing our fingers together, and leaned up to him to say, "Stop acting like you're still a virgin, Chris."

I stepped around him, pulling him after me down the dark hallway. I ignored his tired groan and opened the first door I saw. It was a broom closet.

"Is it possible for me to hate you more?"

The hallway seemed never-ending and the next few doors we came across were locked. It made sense actually, with all the things that happened in open rooms at parties.

"You know this house better than me, find a room."

He snickered lowly. "All the doors are locked except the bathrooms. I'm fine though, Ari. It's no big deal."

I turned to him, taking a calm breath. At first, it was actually about finding him more comfortable clothes but when I saw the doors wouldn't budge, I realized it wasn't.

"Christian," I said seriously, and his smile fell when he saw my face, "find a room."

He gulped and nodded slowly. I was prepared for him to start babbling—doubting himself like he always did.

But he stuttered out, "There's a den. Downstairs."

It was his time to drag me after him. He guided me to the end of the hall and took a right. This was a shorter hallway and at the end of it there was another right turn that probably carried us back to the main room but we stopped after a few steps.

There were two doors—one on the right wall and another on the left. Chris reached for the doorknob on the right, to what I'm assuming led to the den, while I peered around him to see a backyard through the glass door on the opposite wall.

I didn't' notice he had the door open until he was pulling me through and closing it after us.

♤♠♤

The week following the party was a bummer for a few reasons.

First, I wouldn't be seeing my friends because seniors didn't have to come back to school after their finals. Unless they wanted to for the last two weeks that was.

After Monday, I noticed that all the seniors in my classes were separated from the rest of us commoners, or they just weren't there. If they showed up to class, they were put in their own little corners to go through review packets and study for whatever finals they had. While the rest of us had to learn new things.

Awesome.

Everyone, and I do mean everyone, knew how miserable I'd been by the end of the day.

A few of my friends stayed at school the rest of the day, after whatever exam they had, while the sensible ones left and did something with their lives.

I knew Julia stayed because she hung out in the art room, working on art and fashion stuff for boards, or just hanging out. She's always there. Thion stayed because according to him, he hadn't been visiting his friend as much as he used to—his 'friend' meaning our principal. I didn't even ask. And Chris stayed. I do not know why. I told him I could take the bus home, but he insisted that he had something to pass the time like the others.

Tuesday evening after dismissal, I was walking alongside Chris in the parking lot, eyeing him.

"Do you stay in the gym all day?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing.

Today, he was in joggers and a black tank top, showing off his sexy arms and a light layer of sweat covering his skin. He was so fine it almost hurt.

"Yeah," he said, slipping off the duffel bag that was swung across his body. That was the only giveaway of what he'd been doing all day. He didn't have it yesterday and wouldn't tell me what he'd spent his time doing.

"I figured, since I'm here, take advantage of it."

"Or," I said, the words coming out in a drawl, "you could go home?"

"If I go home," he started in the same tone, "I'm not going to get as much done. Besides, the gym is open, and I get to use the equipment for free."

We came to a stop next to his car and he dropped his duffel bag in the backseat. I shrugged and got in the passenger seat. I put my seatbelt on and got comfortable. My body melted into the seat and I sighed.

"How was your day?" Chris said after settling in the driver's seat. He started the engine and turned up the AC before angling himself to me.

I turned to stare at him blankly, groaning after seeing his huge smile. I did not have the energy for his peppiness. "The same as yesterday- boring. I actually missed you annoying me all day." I looked back at him again. "That's crazy."

He shook his head. "It's not that crazy. I knew you would."

I let out a long breath, closing my eyes. It was supposed to be a laugh, but...

"You okay?" he asked after a while, his voice low.

"Mhm," I hummed. My head felt like it was swimming in that way it did whenever I'm about to fall asleep. "Just tired."

"I'm off work today," he said and I felt a light brush against my cheek. "And we were all thinking of having a study get together at my place. Wanna crash there for a little bit?"

My eyes burned as I opened them and I twisted onto my back, feeling an ache shot through my entire body. I grimaced.

This was why I hated sleeping in the day. I always woke up with body pains I couldn't explain. I concluded it had been God's way of telling me to get off my ass.

Through my sleepy haze, somehow, I realized I was in a room. A room with plain white walls, and a room that I've never seen before.

I sat up quickly, pushing myself back and looking around hastily. I saw that the sun was setting through a thin set of white curtains drawn in front of a window across the room.

A round of laughter broke through my panic. It sounded distant but familiar, and I let out a breath—the tension that had built up, leaving my body.

Pushing the covers off my legs, I slid to the edge of the bed and peered over to see if my shoes were there. They weren't, but a pair of slides sat neatly on the tiled floor. That's when I knew for sure I was at Chris's house.

I shook my head, recalling the last thing he'd said to me. I really fell asleep on him like that. I don't even remember coming in here. That's if I even walked. It's possible he carried me.

I knew this would happen. I'd spent the whole night reading and went to bed at almost four in the morning, knowing I had to get up at six. All day, I'd been battling my heavy eyes, and my body crashed at the first sign of freedom.

I slipped my socks-covered feet into the slides that were way too big for me, giggling when they made clapping sounds on the floor with every step.

"He's so dumb," I said in amusement. I had my socks on, so I didn't even need these. I wore them anyway.

When I opened the door, the sounds got clearer, telling me they're all in the living room and I was in one of the downstairs guest rooms.

I ran my hands down my face and rubbed my eyes. The hallway went straight to the living room and I wasn't paying attention, but I knew the exact moment I got there.

"My sleeping baby girl," Thion said, cooing. I blinked away the last of the sleep in my eyes but they still burned. "Come here."

And did I go? Yes. Yes, I did.

I sat next to him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. My eyes immediately closed, and I pressed my face into his shirt. I hummed in content at his scent. I couldn't get enough of it.

"How've you been holding up?" he said, running his hand up and down my arm slowly. "I haven't seen you in forever."

A smile pulled at my lips until I let out a low laugh. "Shut the hell up," I said, sounding muffled. I knew he was teasing me because they weren't in classes as much anymore and I'm miserable about it. I saw him at lunch today.

He laughed, wrapping his other arm around me and rocking me. I groaned, my face squished up against his shoulder now.

"Okay, okay! I'm fine now."

He ignored all the struggling sounds I was making, hugging me tighter.

"Can you see she's not breathing?" I heard someone point out.

Thion didn't let up. I tried pulling back, digging my fingers into his sides in hopes that he was ticklish. He wasn't, and we ended up falling back on the couch.

Seconds later, someone cared enough about my life to pull Thion off me. I drew in a long breath, sitting up.

"Why?" I said, my voice hoarse and confused.

Thion smiled like he hadn't almost killed me and Sean shoved him before walking away.

"I miss you," Thion said.

I've been overly sentimental for a while now, and it's Thion, so sure I pouted and opened my arms for him this time. "Bring it in."

He grinned like a goof and damn near threw himself against me.

"Stop using her as an excuse to not study," Julia said, her voice sounding from somewhere behind me.

I tried to pull away from Thion again. He held me tighter—not aiming to knock me out this time.

"Shh," he said, his hands stroking my back. "Don't listen to her."

Laughing, I pushed him away. "You're using me."

He leaned back into the couch, placing his arms on the back. "Okay, fine. What was the question?" He said to Jules, smiling when I gaped at him.

I drew in a dramatic breath, shaking my head at him. "Never again."

I got up, my eyes searching for Chris who I found sitting on the loveseat, surrounded by books. The others were mostly in pairs or groups, while Chris was going solo. With one foot resting on the edge of the seat, he had a mini notebook close to his face and clicking his pen against his cheek in concentration.

"Hey," I greeted him when I was close enough. He glanced up at me then moved the open book to rest against his chest. "Are my things still in your car? I just need my phone."

He peered around me and pointed with his pen. "On the table over there."

As I spun to get my phone from somewhere under the piles of books on the coffee table, he kept talking.

"I already called your mom to let her know you're here," Chris explained. "I facetimed her."

I turned to him with my eyebrows raised. "Excuse me, what?"

"You know she'd want to see if you were okay. I wasn't going to text her that you were fine."

"What did she say?" I asked, walking back over to him and moving some of the books so I could sit.

"Actually," he moved his foot to the ground and straightened the sweats he was wearing, "I texted her first. She was at work so I didn't know if I could call her. I told her you fell asleep and my mom was home so I brought you here." He shrugged. "She texted me back a few hours later and that's when I facetimed her."

I held back a laugh. "She hates that thing."

"I figured," he said with a low chuckle. "She didn't ask me to see you but I showed her anyway. I told her we were all gonna meet here and study for finals."

I gave him a look.

"You still have finals in two weeks," he said, his tone and expression sheepish. "Why not study with us?"

I didn't reply to that because I was too busy figuring out if I was going to join them and study. I do have pre-calc with a few of them, and economics, so it wouldn't hurt. The thought of it still had me groaning anyway.

"I'm not ready yet."

He chuckled, going back to his book. He turned to another page and got comfortable again. "Just let me know when you're ready to go home."

For some reason, I felt a bit awkward after that. It was almost like he was dismissing me. But I knew I shouldn't feel that way because Chris is a nerd. He's short with everyone when he's studying or doing homework. It would be worse now seeing as it's finals.

I nodded slowly before getting up. They were all busy studying and I smiled as I passed Jess, Nate, Iseah, and Heath with the little game they were playing. She had cards and was asking them questions about what sounded like history and they all rushed out the answers, talking over each other. Looked like they were even keeping score.

Feeling like nothing but a waste of space at the moment, I went to the kitchen. For once, in what seemed like forever, I didn't want to eat.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and was about to sit at the breakfast bar but decided against it. In that second, I decided to go watch something in Chris's room instead.

"Hey, hey! Where are you going?"

I didn't think that was directed to me until I glanced into the living room on my way upstairs and saw a few of them looking at me.

Backtracking, I stood in the entrance and pointed at myself. Thion nodded.

Gesturing with my water bottle to the stairs, I said, "Upstairs."

"Why? You don't wanna stay with us?"

Why is he calling me out like this?

A nervous laugh left me. "I'm not doing anything."

He opened his mouth to say something, but Jess leaned over the back of the couch and pushed his head. "Leave her alone, fool."

That did it. Thion turned to look over his shoulder at her, his voice firm as he retorted, "Who the hell you calling a fool?"

Without looking at anyone, I turned and hurried up the stairs before anyone else could stop me. I was too slow.

"Ari!"

I groaned and thumped back down, glaring at Chris once he was in sight again. He patted the now bookless spot next to him with a smile. Huffing, I stopped to chug half my water before I continued back over to him.

"What are you studying?" I asked in exasperation, dropping down next to him.

"This is for pre-calc formulas and examples." He held up the small notebook then handed it to me.

"Everyone here knows I'm smarter than you," I sassed but he didn't look the least bit bothered. "Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Because a B average isn't good enough," he said as I'm taking the book from him.

My jaw dropped. My voice was breathless in offense when I spoke. "Wow. First of all, I average an A-minus."

He smirked. "Do you?" He leaned down to get a textbook from the floor.

I was still staring at him, dumbfounded, when he sat up again. He still had that smirk on and it kept getting wider. He flipped through the pages of a textbook, then he looked at me and he was grinning.

"You want me to knock your ass out, that's what this is. But I believe in Jesus," I said under my breath, getting up.

I squeaked when his hand hooked into the back of my jeans and he pulled me back down.

"Why must you be so sensitive all the time?" He chuckled as I hopped off him quickly and onto the couch again. He'd pulled me back right on his lap.

"Chris," I said firmly, giving him what I thought was a stern look but he was looking too relaxed and amused for it to be working. "Don't do that."

"Oh, come on, no one saw." He said, keeping his voice down. He tugged at my braids gently in that endearing way he did.

"I don't care," I replied, my voiced straining. He tilted his head, giving me a look that said 'really?'. "Stop, I'm serious."

He lifted his hands, leaning back. "Okay. Sorry."

I frowned, feeling a little guilty now. I didn't do anything wrong. He seemed to keep forgetting that we weren't supposed to be that close and he can't help himself, so I had to be setting him straight these past few days. I didn't like to do it because I didn't want to, and I felt like this afterward. But he was getting too reckless for me. I was trying to keep us alive here.

"Ari?"

I turned at the sound, my eyes searching until they stopped on Jess.

"I shouldn't yet, but figured I'd tell you," she said, walking over with a huge smile. "We found you a dress."

I blinked. "What?"

Her eyes went to the ceiling for a moment. "Okay, we're still looking, but we narrowed it down to three." She was grinning now.

Prom was this coming Friday and I damn near forgot about it until now. I didn't think they would go on to dress shopping without me so I wasn't expecting to hear that. I was prepared to wear a dress I already had hanging in my closet.

"Do you even know my size?"

"Your mom does." Jess shrugged. "Or she guessed."

Dread and excited turned beneath my skin. "Can I see them?"

Her lips twisted and she turned on her heels slowly. Then she walked back over to her study group.

Confused, I stared after her in astonishment. "Excuse me?" Jess didn't reply but I heard snickering. "Jessica!"

"It's a surprise!" She turned back to me, clasping her hands together with a loud sound. "So, I'm not telling you."

I knew the confusion was written across my face. "Uhh- no. I have to wear that. I need to see it."

Her lips did a thing and I knew she was biting the insides of her cheeks. She kept backing away. I held her gaze as she continued backtracking until she was safely out of sight—out of the room. Letting out an incredulous laugh, I turned to look at Chris.

"I'm gonna look like a fool."

He shook his head with a smile. "They wouldn't do that to you."

"Not intentionally," I said, shaking my head. "But we- man, fuck it. I don't care."

He pulled his leg up on the couch again, settling into the cushions to get comfortable. He angled himself to me. "You've been in a mood today. What's going on?"

I shook my head. "I'm still a little tired, I guess. I'm being cranky."

He tilted his head toward the stairs. "You can go hang out in my room if you want. I'll come get you if it's getting too late."

Reaching out, he took the small book from me that I forgot I had.

"I thought I needed to raise my B average," I said mockingly.

He smiled, rolling his eyes. "You'll still get into college anyway. If you like to settle that is."

"Oh." My voice came out deep as my eyes narrowed on him and my mouth went slack once again. By the look on his face, I knew he was having fun. "This is why you're gonna be living alone for the next year."

He smirked. Again. He reached for his textbook that had been sitting on the arm of the couch. "Still thinking of moving in, roomie?"

I looked away from him, holding back a smile. "You're lucky I'm tired," I muttered, getting up.

"Have a nice nap," he said after me, his voice mocking. If Charlotte hadn't been walking into the room, I would've flipped him off or went back and attacked him.