We made it to the hospital Thursday, the day after we had left for Phoenix, but Bella didn't wake up until Friday.
"No, don't." I quietly scolded her, catching her hand as she tried to rip off her IV in confusion.
"Alex?" She looked at me then. "Where'sâ" I cut her off by pointing behind me. Edward had stayed in this room since probably before I got here and never left, pretending to sleep in front of my dad.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I knew she was talking to him, she was still looking at him, even though she had almost killed me in her blind heroism.
"Everything's all right," he soothed her as he came up beside me, smoothing her hair.
Christian did his best to fill in the details for me yesterday while avoiding my dad, but Edward had hardly spoken until now.
"What happened?" Bella asked.
"I was almost too late," Edward choked.
"I need to call my mom," she seemed to realize through the haze.
"I called her already. Mom's here - well, here in the hospital. She's getting something to eat right now." I chimed in.
"She's here?" Bella tried to sit up, but Edward's hand pushed her gently down onto the pillows. I was almost surprised she didn't fight him.
"She'll be back soon," he promised. "And you need to stay still."
"But what did you tell her?" She was starting to panic. I could tell she had no interest in being soothed. Mom was here and she was recovering from a vampire attack. "Why did you tell her I'm here?"
"You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window." I paused. "You have to admit, it could happen."
She sighed heavily, and then winced. I watched her gaze travel down her body under the sheet, to the huge lump that was her leg.
"How bad am I?" She asked.
"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it - it made you smell all wrong for a while." Her boyfriend scrunched his nose and I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to be here for this, but I couldn't leave her so soon.
"That must have been a nice change for you." She said.
"No, I like how you smell."
I gagged.
"How did you do it?" I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once.
"I'm not sure." He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting Bella's gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in his, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting her to one of the monitors.
We waited patiently for the rest.
He sighed without returning my gaze. "It was impossible... to stop," he whispered. "Impossible. But I did." He looked up, finally, at her, with half a smile. "I must love you."
"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" She smiled in response. I don't know how she could smile with how beat up she was.
"Even better - better than I'd imagined."
I gagged again, very obviously.
"I'm sorry," She apologized.
I stood up and paced the room a bit, letting them talk while I wandered into my head. I wasn't going to leave the room, but I could give them some privacy.
"I think I hear your mother," Edward said loudly after what I think had been five minutes, purposely breaking my thought, and moving away from my sister.
"Don't leave me," she cried, sounding panicked.
He read the terror in her eyes for a short second. "I won't," he promised solemnly, and then he smiled. "I'll take a nap."
He moved from the hard plastic chair by her side to the turquoise faux-leather recliner at the foot of her bed, leaning it all the way back, and closing his eyes. He was perfectly still.
"Don't forget to breathe," I whispered sarcastically. He took a deep breath, his eyes still closed.
I could hear my mother now. She was talking to someone, maybe a nurse, and she sounded tired and upset. I knew Bella wanted to jump out of the bed and run to her, to calm her, promise that everything was fine. But she wasn't in any sort of shape for jumping, so thankfully, despite herself, she waited.
The door opened a crack, and she peeked through.
"Mom!" Bella whispered, her voice full of love and relief.
She took in Edward's still form on the recliner, and tiptoed to her bedside, but not before angrily whisper-shouting at me. "Why didn't you come get me?"
I whispered in response, following the charade. "Don't you see I'm standing? I was about to."
My sister gave me a look of gratitude as my mom moved to her side.
"He never leaves, does he?" she mumbled to herself.
"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!" Trying to take the attention off of him, no doubt.
She bent down to hug her gently, and I saw tears falling from her cheeks.
"Bella, I was so upset!"
"I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay," She comforted her.
"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open." She sat on the edge of her bed.
As if suddenly realizing she didn't have any idea when it was, she asked, "How long have they been closed?"
"It's Friday, hon, you've been out for a while."
"Friday?" She was shocked and I took that as my queue to leave.
"I'm gonna see if I can't find Dad or Christian, let them know." I called as I headed out the door.
Now that Bella was awake, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. As I casually strolled down the too-white halls of the hospital, looking for Christian around every corner on my way to the cafeteria to find my dad, I thought about what I'd been told before she came back to us.
My sister was tricked by the tracker, he'd never had our mother. She'd been bit by him, but she was aliveâhuman. Edward sucked the venom from her body and the Cullens had killed James. Tore him to pieces and burned the parts. That was a bit graphic for me, but hey, what can you do when surrounded by vampires? Apparently James had known Alice from before she was turned. I wasn't going to try to pry into her personal matters, so I let that bit slide over in conversation.
Thinking about these matters made my skin crawl and I gave up on finding my dad to return to my sister. I knew she was fine, or as fine as she could be right now, but seeing her would help calm my anxiety.
I turned to retrace my steps and felt arms swallow my shoulders from behind me. They were cold, of course, and I relaxed into his embrace.
Without being able to read my mind, he still seemed to know what was wrong, and after letting me go, he grabbed my hand gently and led me back to my twin.
A nurse came bustling in right after I did to check all her tubes and wires. My mother kissed her forehead, patted her gauze-wrapped hand, and left.
The nurse was checking the paper readout on Bella's heart monitor.
"Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there."
"I'm fine," she assured her. From behind the nurse, I raised my eyes at her, then glanced at Edward, seeing a grin on his face.
"I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a minute."
As soon as she closed the door, Edward was at her side and Christian stood behind me as I sat next to her boyfriend.
"You stole a car?" She asked. I raised my eyebrows, I hadn't been informed of this.
He smiled, unrepentant. "It was a good car, very fast."
"How was your nap?" I asked.
"Interesting." His eyes narrowed.
"What happened while I was gone?" I looked to my sister.
He looked down while he answered me. "I'm surprised. I thought Florida... and your mother... well, I thought that's what you would want." He wasn't talking to me, I realized.
I stared at him uncomprehendingly.
"But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire." Bella said.
I got more confused by the second.
He almost smiled, but not quite. And then his face was grave. "I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it," he explained. "Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore."
It didn't sink in at first for her, I could see it on her face when the words one by one clicked into place in her head like a ghastly puzzle.
He didn't say anything; he watched her face warily as a very obvious pain threatened to crush her. I stiffened and felt Christian place his hand on my shoulder tightly. I wasn't ready to watch my sister shatter inside after she had just been broken outside.
And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room. Edward sat still as stone as she took in our expressions with a practiced eye before turning to the monitors.
"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed.
"No, no," Bella mumbled, trying to keep the agony out of her voice. "I don't need anything." I knew she couldn't afford to close her eyes now.
"No need to be brave, honey. It's better if you don't get too stressed out; you need to rest." She waited, but I butt in and shook my head.
"She said no." I was feeling brave, my chest swelling with a twinge of anger along with my panic. What was he planning? I wouldn't know what to do if he hurt my sister.
"Okay," she sighed. "Hit the call button when you're ready."
She gave Edward a stern look, and threw one more anxious glance at the machinery, before leaving.
His hands were on her face; she stared at him with wild eyes.
"Shhh, Bella, calm down."
"Don't leave me," she begged in a broken voice.
"I won't," he promised. "Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you.. Bella," He stroked her face anxiously, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me."
"Do you swear you won't leave me?" she whispered. I felt like I was intruding, but I needed to be here for this.
He put his hands on either side of her face and brought his face close to hers. "I swear."
Christian's hand tightened further on my shoulder. It only hurt a bit, but I wouldn't tell him that, though I wish he could read my mind like Edward could read everyone else's. I wanted to ask him if there was something wrong, something he knew that he wasn't sharing.
"Better?" he asked.
"Yes," she said cautiously.
He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible. I thought I picked out the word "overreaction."
"Why did you say that?" She whispered, her voice shaking. "Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?"
"No, I don't want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you, either - if it weren't for the fact that I was the one putting you in danger... that I'm the reason that you're here."
"Yes, you are the reason." I frowned, tired of his own self-pity. "The reason Bella is here - alive."
"Barely." His voice was just a whisper. "Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move."
"I wasn't referring to her most recent near-death experience," I said, growing irritated. "I was thinking of the others - you can take your pick. If it weren't for you, she would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery."
He winced at my words, but the haunted look didn't leave his eyes.
"That's not the worst part, though," he continued to whisper. He acted as if I hadn't spoken. "Not seeing you there on the floor... crumpled and broken." His voice was choked. "Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain - all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling... knowing that I couldn't stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself."
"But you didn't." She could barely whisper, it seemed.
"I could have. So easily."
"Promise me," She whispered, again.
"What?"
"You know what." She was starting to get angry now. He was so stubbornly determined to dwell on the negative.
He heard the change in her tone. His eyes tightened. "I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that you'll get your way... whether it kills you or not," he added roughly.
"Good." She said.
He hadn't promised, though - a fact that I had not missed. I had no strength left to control the anger. I tried to sit back against the chair, to seem more relaxed than I was.
"You told me how you stopped... now I want to know why," Bella demanded.
"Why?" he repeated warily.
"Why you did it. Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you."
Edward's eyes seemed to turn flat black, and I realized that this was something he'd never intended her, for us, to know. Alice must have been preoccupied by the things she'd learned about herself... or she'd been very careful with her thoughts around him - clearly, he'd had no idea that she'd filled her in on the mechanics of vampire conversions. He was surprised, and infuriated. His nostrils flared, his mouth looked as if it was chiseled from stone.
He wasn't going to answer, that much was clear.
"I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships," she said. "But it just seems logical... a man and woman have to be somewhat equal... as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally."
He folded his arms on the side of her bed and rested his chin on his arms. His expression was smooth, the anger reined in. Evidently he'd decided he wasn't angry with my sister. I hoped I'd get a chance to warn Alice before he caught up with her.
"You have saved me," he said quietly.
"I can't always be Lois Lane," she insisted. "I want to be Superman, too."
"You don't know what you're asking." His voice was soft; he stared intently at the edge of the pillowcase.
"I think I do."
"Bella, you don't know. I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm still not sure."
"Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?"
"No, I don't wish that." He paused before continuing. "But my life was over. I wasn't giving anything up."
"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose." She was getting better at this, it seemed. It was easy to admit how much she needed him, when before she could never seem to form the words, barely even to me.
He was very calm, though. Decided.
"I can't do it, Bella. I won't do that to you."
"Why not?" Her throat rasped and the words weren't as loud as she'd meant them to be. "Don't tell me it's too hard! After today, or I guess it was a few days ago... anyway, after that, it should be nothing."
He glared at her and it took everything I had to not jump in.
"And the pain?" he asked.
Her face paled. "That's my problem," she said. "I can handle it."
"It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity."
"It's not an issue. Three days. Big deal."
Edward grimaced again as her words reminded him that we were more informed than he had ever intended us to be. I watched him repress the anger, watched as his eyes grew speculative.
"Charlie?" he asked curtly. "Renee?"
Minutes passed in silence as she struggled to answer his question. He waited, and his expression became triumphant because he knew she had no true answer. We all knew it, actually. Christian was pacing beside my seat now and I thought it odd that marbled perfection had so much nervous energy.
"Look, that's not an issue either," my sister finally muttered; her voice was as unconvincing as it always was when she lied. "Renee has always made the choices that work for her - she'd want me to do the same. And Charlie's resilient, he's used to being on his own, and he'll still have Alex. I can't take care of them forever. I have my own life to live."
"Exactly," he snapped. "And I won't end it for you."
"If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you! I was just there!"
"You're going to recover," he reminded me.
I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the pain in my chest when Bella had mentioned me. I knew what she was asking, but did she intend to leave me behind, too? I stared at them, and he stared at her, and she stared at him.
There was no compromise in his face.
"No," she said slowly. "I'm not."
His forehead creased. "Of course you are. You may have a scar or two..."
"You're wrong," She insisted. "I'm going to die."
"Really, Bella." He was anxious now. "You'll be out of here in a few days. Two weeks at most."
She glared at him. "I may not die now... but I'm going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And I'm going to get old."
I frowned as what she was saying sunk in, and Edward also did, pressing his long fingers to his temples and closing his eyes. "That's how it's supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didn't exist - and I shouldn't exist."
Bella snorted. He opened his eyes in surprise. "That's stupid. That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be. It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it."
"I'm hardly a lottery prize," he growled.
"That's right. You're much better."
He rolled his eyes and set his lips. "Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it."
"If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well," she warned him. "You're not the only vampire I know."
His eyes went black again. "Alice wouldn't dare."
And for a moment he looked so frightening that I couldn't help but believe it - I couldn't imagine someone brave enough to cross him. I sat there in my own silence, staring at Christian's feet that finally stopped moving and blocking out Edward and Bella's squabbling. I'd heard enough. My sister wanted to be with her vampire boyfriend forever, I understood that. What I didn't understand was whether or not she was willing to separate from me forever, too. I know that when we're adults, we will have to grow up and live our own lives, but that didn't mean she had to say goodbye indefinitely. If she became like himâlike themâI know I would eventually age and die, and she wouldn't, but I couldn't think about that yet.
"So where does that leave us?" She wondered and I was pulled out of my thoughts.
He chuckled humorlessly. "I believe it's called an impasse."
She sighed, "Ouch."
"How are you feeling?" Christian asked, breaking his silence by whispering in my ear.
"I'm fine," I lied.
"I don't believe you," he said gently.
Next to me Bella continued her protest to Edward. "I'm not going back to sleep."
"You need rest. All this arguing isn't good for you."
"So give in," she hinted.
"Nice try." He reached for the button.
"No!"
He ignored her.
"Yes?" the speaker on the wall squawked.
"I think we're ready for more pain medication," he said calmly, ignoring her furious expression.
"I'll send in the nurse." The voice sounded very bored.
"I won't take it," she promised.
He looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside her bed. "I don't think they're going to ask you to swallow anything.
"Bella, you're in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? They're not going to put any more needles in you now."
"I'm not afraid of the needles," she mumbled. "I'm afraid to close my eyes."
I laid a hand gently on the leg that wasn't broken, trying to soothe her.
The nurse came in soon after, further interrupting their disgusting display of affection, brandishing a syringe.
"Excuse me," she said brusquely to Edward.
He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. He folded his arms and waited. I kept my eyes on him, still apprehensive. He met my gaze calmly.
"Here you go, honey." The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube. "You'll feel better now."
"Thanks," Bella mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didn't take long. I could see the drowsiness in her eyes as the medicine trickled through her bloodstream.
"That ought to do it," she muttered as my twin's eyelids drooped.
After the woman left, Edward was at her side again, his hand on her cheek.
"Stay." The word was slurred.
"I will," he promised. His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby. "Like I said, as long as it makes you happy... as long as it's what's best for you."
She tried to shake her head. "'S not the same thing."
He laughed. "Don't worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up."
I think she tried to smile. '"Kay."
He whispered something to her and I looked away as they kissed.
I finally looked at Christian and he looked like if he could cryâor throw upâhe would. I tilted my head and gave him a quizzical look, but he turned back to stone when he saw the question in my eyes.
Bella fell asleep not even two minutes after and I was left in silence as her vampire settled in beside her and my-vampire-who-is-not-my-vampire went to sit on the recliner a bit aways, unmoving and not looking at me.