Chapter 51: forgiveness

„Here, it's a martini, as usual." Guzman slides my drink over as soon as I am back at the bar and stand next to him. He also puts his arm around me immdiately. „What were you talking about?" I'm glad that he doesn't sound jealous or controlling, it's just a friendly question to know how I am. „We were saying goodbye to each other."

Guzman also understands that goodbye doesn't mean goodbye forever but that we needed to close this chapter for now. „Are you coming home with me later?" Instead of answering I just grab his neck and pull him in for a kiss. First he seems to enjoy it but when we let go off each other he's glaring at someone behind me. And I'm pretty sure I know who that is.

„Guzman don't-", I try to stop him from attacking Polo but he shakes his head so I follow him.„Don't worry", he tells me and then turns to Polo, „I've just stopped someone from cutting your throat but I will not be able to stop everyone else." „Thank you", Polo replies confused but also with a light smile as he also looks at me with the same expression while I'm standing behind Guzman.

„It wasn't about you. Why do you even come here?" „I will talk to the police." „What?", I stutter not knowing if that would really make the situation any better. „Tomorrow morning or this night. I can't compensate what I've done to you, especially you two and Samuel. But at least my mothers pay the university for Nadia and Lu. That's why I am here.. to tell you personally and ask you for forgiveness. This will finally have an end."

„Good and now get out off my way", Guzman snaps at him harshly. Honestly, I don't think I will ever get over what has happened to Marina, but when I imagine that I could lose Polo as well.. I don't know if that's what I want. There's a difference between not talking for months and going to jail.

„When I come back from jail, someday, can you forgive me then?" As I look into Polo's eyes I feel his sincerity. I remember the boy that was anxious to ask Carla if they would date and how we sat in my dad's garden for hours thinking of how would be the right way. The boy who was afraid to lose her last year. The boy I kissed once because we both felt lonely to that time and understand each other even if we're not talking. Would I forgive him?

„No", Guzman shakes his head and lets me know that he will wait for me at the bar. We know each other so well. He knew that I would want to talk to Polo on my own. „Polo", I hold him back as he turns away sadly, „Wait." „Em, it's probably better if I leave you alone. You suffered enough due to my actions."

„No, Polo. I.. I'm sorry for what Guzman said. You know exactly that he didn't mean it like that, especially since you're being responsible for what you've done now." „I didn't want to hurt her", Polo admits, his voice is shaking, „I really didn't want to hurt her, Em. You have to believe me. It was an accident." „I know, Polo, I know."

„I wish nothing of this would have ever happened and it would still be the four of us. Two weeks ago, when you, Ander and I were talking and when the four of us were in the hospital together, it felt a little bit normal. I've missed it and-"

„Polo", I interrupt him and sigh heavily, „I'm not ready to forgive you yet, it just hurts too much. I'm still thinking of Marina every single day. Her and their baby. Nano's baby. I would have became an aunt if you didn't.. I remmeber this every day. And I might not be ready to forgive you now, but I will be sooner or later. Someday, I promise, I will forgive you and I will come and visit you. Ander will join me and Guzman as well."

„It means a lot to me, Em. I will try and do everything that I can to nearly compensate what all of you had to go through because of me." „I hope so", I nod and even though it feel weird after all this time, I pull him into a hug. It might be the last hug that we share with each other if he goes to jail.

„Thank you, Em. But you should go back to Guzman now." Polo points to where Guzman sits and discusses with my brother so I nod. „If you want me to go to the police with you, I'll be there." „That would great. I'll let you know when I get the trophy. Then I can go there and give them the evidence that they need." „Good. Then until then." „Until then."

While I'm standing at the bar with Samu and Guzman again, the others drop the bottle of champagne of course so we help them to clean the floor. Or they force us to clean the floor as Lu tells everyone what they've got to do. Well, that's Lu. If Polo's moms still pay for their university, there's no need for her to be frustrated and I could still go to New York with her. That would change everything between Guzman and I because I would overthink the whole situation again. But first of all, I have to tell Lu.

„Lu, I need to tell you something", I go over to her as soon as the floor is cleaned up, but she shakes her head. „You sound so serious. Not now." „No, it's good news. You have to know this." „Emilia", she stops me and sounds pretty drunk and sarcastic, „I've had enough good news for a whole year. I have to go to the toilettes now and then we can talk, alright?"

„Have you told Lu about her scholarship already?", Guzman asks me when we're back with each other. „She stopped me before I was able to inform her", I sigh, „She had to go to the toilet." „She's quite drunk." „I'm not surprised. I would freak out if they would have taken the scholarship away from me." „Does that change anything? Are you going to New York with her?"

I open my mouth to answer but someone is calling my name, our names. „Em? Guzman?" It sounds like Polo so I go into the direction from where we can hear his voice to find him stumbling from foot to foot. His shirt is red from.. is that blood? „Polo!", I exclaim quickly and run over to him but as he's trying to come closer, he slips and falls through the glass down to the first floor.

„Polo!", Guzman and I now shout again and again and again as we find our way through the crowd ignoring everyone's screams. „Polo!" I kneel down to him on his one side, Guzman does the same on the other. „Polo, stay awake, okay? Listen to me, stay with us. We're here." „Call an ambulance! We need an ambulance!" „Polo.. Polo."

Both of us take one hand of Polo's and touch him lightly so we don't hurt him but also try to keep him awake. And finally he's reacting to our touches by opening his eyelid. „Polo, I forgive you. Do you hear me? I forgive you." I see Polo's hand trying to move and place all our hands together to help him. „Slowly, Polo, slowly. We're here. We're together."