The next few days pass by quickly, almost too quickly.
It's funny when things are going bad, or when you wish a certain time period in your life could be over as soon as possible, time passes by so agonizingly slow. Yet when you finally feel like your life is actually great for once, one moment you blink and the next everything is over.
Maybe it's just that I'm having a difficult time trying to register that my time at this camp is almost over. It's Thursday, and I go home Monday.
Home.
I have barely thought over the fact that I'd have to go back to my regular home life again for the next month. It's been lingering somewhere in the back of my mind, but I'm just not as particularly ecstatic to go home as I was a few weeks before.
There's the wedding and then the fact college starts a little after that (I internally die each time I remember), and worst of all, coming back to my town means the possibility of running into Mina, whom I don't I think can look at, let alone speak to, any time soon.
And most of all, there's Axel who will no longer be a constant in my daily life.
"So," he says, leaning his hands on the bench press seat in between us and looking me in the eye. "This is the last workout we have before the final team challenge tomorrow."
"Right," I state, trying not to sound my disappointment. I only half succeed. "Wasn't it just yesterday I was dying after running five minutes?"
He chuckles. "You have come far, Whitney."
I expected that our last workout would be on the beach or on top of a hill somewhere, maybe even Mount Everest with Axel's love of the outdoors, but instead we're back in the gym. I suppose he's sparing me the suffocating late July humidity.
"We're going to do a bit of cardio first and then do various strength training exercises," he explains, cracking his knuckles. "I just want to make sure we cover everything since this is the last time here."
I nod and begin to stretch out my legs, my hands reaching well past my toes. I'd never been very flexible before so this is quite an enjoyable anomaly for me.
After a few more minutes of stretching, I get onto the treadmill and look over at Axel.
"Okay so these things kind of freak me out," I tell him as he clicks on a low speed.
"Whitney you're telling me out of all the crazy exercises you've done here, a treadmill is what's going to freak you out?" he questions, as if I'm utterly ridiculous for saying that.
"Um hello?" I say as I'm forced to pick up my pace. "There is literally nothing preventing me from slamming back into the drywall behind me."
"Actually there is," he quips, pointing to my legs. I fight the urge to smack him, but it becomes physically impossible when he bumps the speed up a couple miles.
I begin to jog, my ponytail slapping against my back. I make sure to focus straight ahead and stay close to the front of the belt. Nothing about running fazes me anymore; tripping to my death does, however.
A few minutes later, Axel brings the speed up so high I feel like I can't even keep up with my own feet. He seems to be thoroughly enjoying it, even leaning against the arm of the treadmill next to me.
"Is th-this even sa-safe?" I manage to ask between breaths. I look down and regret it, feeling like I want to throw up.
"By now you should know my aim is not to kill you," he answers and then brings the speed down to a more tolerable six miles an hour. "I'd have missed way too many opportunities to do that if I had been feeling homicidal this whole time."
"You're f-freaking me out, you creep," I choke out, making eye contact with him for the first time in a couple minutes. The way he's staring me down beneath the shield of his eyelids threatens to send my heart flying out of my chest, but before I can die of a heart attack, he starts cracking up and slaps his knee.
"Oh my god, that look on your face was priceless," he comments, wiping tears of mirth from the corners of his eyes. He brings the speed down to a cool-down level. "Seriously, made my day."
"Shut up, asshole," I spit, fighting a smirk on the edge of my lips. When I hop off the treadmill, I keep my distance from him. "You scared me for a few seconds. I mean, it's not like I know enough about you to be sure you're not an axe murderer." Haha, good pun, Whitney.
He swoops an arm around my lower waist, pulling me closer to him. "There's a thing called Google if you were that curious, baby." He winks, making my heart flutter even more. I never realized how endearing it feels to be called that, especially when you don't expect to. "To be honest, I'd much rather do something else that starts with a K again..."
"Kiss?" I tilt my head to the side, challenging him. He leans his face in closer, but I hold my hand up between his mouth and mine. "Nice try, buddy, but unless you want me get nothing done the rest of this session, you're gonna have to hold off on that."
"Well, that just gives me more of an excuse to torture you then," he replies, releasing me from his firm hold.
And torture me he did, because a googleplex ab-crunching and thigh-burning exercises later, I'm dead.
Side note: why does that sound really sexual in my head? Because I can vouch that workout was definitely the opposite of a turn-on.
I sit down on the polished gym floor, sweating from my head to my toes, and down a whole water bottle in ten seconds. Axel leans against one of the machines, looking perfect as always after training me, not a single ashy-brown hair of his out of place, and his clothing dry and sticking to his body in all the right ways.
"Axel, can I ask something?"
He smiles. "Anything."
"Are you gonna miss training with me?" I give him my most charming smile, placing my hands under my chin.
"Yeah, I'm going to." There isn't a hint of hesitation in his response. My chest constricts, my heart feeling warm and fuzzy. "You're hard to forget, Whitney."
"I'm going to miss you too..." I say quietly. I'm unsure if he even heard me, but his head perks up a bit, slashing my doubts. "You made this whole experience unforgettable."
"You remember when we were stuck in my room during that thunderstorm?" he asks randomly. How could I forget? "And you compared us to Romeo and Juliet?"
I laugh a little. "Yes, I do."
"Double suicide aside of course, I'm starting to think this is a little like that play."
It becomes a little harder to breathe. "In what sense?"
He takes a step forward. "That maybe I'm falling for you a little too fast."
I swallow a gulp, rising to my feet. Feeling brave, I challenge him, "But how do you know I feel the same way?"
His hand cups my cheek, his fingers brushing away a few loose strands of my hair. "I may be an ass at times, but definitely not a fool, Whitney."
For some reason, I wonder if I have been, because no matter how close we get, I still feel like there's something he's not telling me.
***
My sister is the only person who can get my mind off Axel.
I find a secluded bench near the dorms and curl up there to FaceTime her. My phone rings once, twice, then three times, and I start to think she won't answer when her peppy face pops up onto the screen along with Levi's.
"Hey, Whitney! I find my lips curling upwards from her contagious smile. Levi shoots me a wave. "I was actually gonna call you later, but you spared me the effort."
I chuckle and look a little closer into the camera, wondering where they are. "Are you guys back in New York?"
She nods and wraps her arm around Levi, tugging him more into the screen. "My little nerd's research group needed him for something, so I decided to tag along. Plus, it's spared me from the wedding war."
"Oh come on, babe, it's not that bad," Levi says, glaring at her with his steely blue eyes. "Yeah, my mother can be a pain, but it's just because she has very selective taste."
"Yes, she must also have selective taste in daughters-in-law, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me too much."
"Oh my god, am I ever gonna find a couple where the mother-in-law doesn't despise the daughter-in-law?" I'm starting to think it's an unavoidable reality.
"For the millionth time, my mother likes you, Poppy," Levi interjects, kissing her hard on the cheek and then standing up. "Now can you stop holding me hostage?" She swats him away, rolling her eyes.
"Speaking of the wedding war, isn't the actual thing, like, really soon?" I ask, running through my mental calendar. It's probably going to be in a few weeks at this rate.
"Don't remind me," she squeals. "It's set for the twentieth of August. I can't believe it's coming up so fast."
"Are you excited?" My brain is fizzing with that emotion for her.
"Oh God, of course. It's just all happening so soon, and I almost want it to be over with already so Levi and I can be a happily married couple. That and the fact some details of the wedding are going a little different from the original plan."
I'm suddenly more intrigued. "Like what?"
She swallows, running her fingers over her hair. "So for starters, I'm not having a bridal party."
"Seriously? Are you sure you don't want one?"
"Oh my gosh, this has nothing to do with you, Whitney. I was worried you'd be really disappointedâ"
"Disappointed?" I move my phone closer to my face. "Why would I be disappointed? It's your big day, Poppy, and if this is what you want, go for it. Besides, you also spared me all those bridesmaid duties, because damn, there are a lot..."
She throws her head back in laughter, her blondish hair flowing like a waterfall against her shoulders. "Oh, Whitney. I had a feeling this would be your reaction. But there is one very traditional thing I have to ask you: are you thinking of bringing a plus-one?" She suggestively wiggles her eyebrows, likely thinking of Axel.
I've already ran through this in my mind before, and I can't say I didn't think of him as a possible choice. But I don't know what will come out of today's situation. Maybe it means nothing, or maybe it means everything.
"Yeah, I might," I respond quietly, playing with the strings of my sweatshirt. "I don't know yet, to be honest."
"It's alright," she replies, waving it off. "I take it things may not be going as well with your hot trainer as I thought?"
"No, they are," I counter, nodding. "It's just I don't know everything yet. I mean, know everything about him yet. He can be very...secretive."
"Oh come on, Whitney, if you're anything like me, you'll find a way to get all the information you want," she replies. "You've got charm."
"If only it was that easy," I mumble, but on second thought, maybe it is.
***
I suppress my nerves as I wait outside of Axel room's after having lightly knocked against the wood. I consider knocking again when the door flies open and reveals a shirtless version of my trainer.
"What the hellâ"
"I need an explanation," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
"What explanation?" He tugs his hand downwards through his disheveled hair.
"Don't play dumb, Axel." I take a brave step towards him standing by the door. "As I recall, you told me you were definitely not a fool.'"
"Why the sudden curiosity?" he asks, raking his eyes over my face, as if trying to understand something from it.
"I'm a girl; this is anything but sudden. I've noticed everything: the small slip-ups in your words, the countless times you stare at me as if you're looking for something you know you'll never find, your strange interest in my childhood." If I placed a ruler against Axel's lips right now, they'd probably be straighter than it. I lessen the distance between us by another foot. "What is it, Axel?"
"You really want to know? I'll tell it all to you. But I can't say how you'll feel afterwards."
I gulp. "Okay, go ahead then. Tell me." He shakes his head, moving away from me.
"I can't explain it all today." He tugs on a navy shirt, looking down at his phone. He meets my gaze again, and his following words are clear: "Have dinner with me tomorrow, Whitney. I promise you'll hear the whole story then." He opens the door, and I take it as my cue to leave. I step back onto the line of the doorway.
"See you by my car tomorrow at seven," he says, not even having to check if I'll come, because I'll be damned if I don't show up.