Translator: SFBaka
âAccording to these results, the three of you are the very picture of health. You have no hidden illnesses, and all your bodily functions are A-OK.â
âThatâs good to hear.â
I was honestly relieved when I heard Dr. Shouko announce the results. Elmaâs probably fine, but Mimi did live in an unhygienic environment for a time. It made me worried a bit. Me? I guess Iâm pretty healthy myself, all things considered. I wasnât really all that worried about myself anyway.
âWeâve also given you the full range of available vaccines. Elma-kunâs already had most of them before, but Mimi-kun and Hiro-kun have been administered with all the necessary ones. Oh, but I do find it mysterious that Hiro-kun didnât display any traces of getting vaccinated before at all.â
Dr. Shouko looked at me with eyes bubbling with curiosity, but I averted my gaze.
âI had to refrain from taking them due to religious reasons.â
âFine, letâs just go with that then. Anyway, as I said earlier, there may be unexpected side effects, so try not to perform any strenuous activities for at least three days. The estimated probability of side effects appearing is just 0.1%, but nothingâs absolute after all.â
âUnderstood. Anything else we need to keep in mind?â
âUn, letâs seeâ¦â¦ Um, could you two come over here for a bit, Mimi-kun and Elma-kun?â
âYes?â
âWhat is it?â
âJust come here for a bit. Can you go over there instead for a while, Hiro-kun?â
â?â
The two followed after Dr. Shouko while feeling puzzled, and I obediently took some distance from the three of them. Dr. Shouko was talking to them about something in a low voice as she pointed at the check-up results on her tablet. Mimi nodded while sporting a serious expression while the color of Elmaâs face alternated from red to blue.
âThat sure makes me curious.â
âSorry. Just wait there for a bit, kay.â
Dr. Shouko cheerfully replied as she waved me further away. I met eyes with Elma.
ââ¦â¦!!â
Her face suddenly went bright red. W-Whatâs with that reaction? It made me utterly curious. Mimi noticed Elmaâs state and turned her gaze towards me. Mimiâs acting normally, isnât she? It doesnât seem like sheâll make the type of reaction Elma had. Just whatâs with that?
âThatâs about it, so keep what I said in mind, you two.â
âU-U-Understood.â
âYes!â
The two of them came back to the earlier spot, so I also followed suit. Iâll try to ask Mimi about it later.
âDo you have anything else you need to tell us before we go, Doc?â
âNo, weâre all done. Iâll send the relevant data from todayâs check-up to your ship later.â
Oh yeah,. Donât medical records usually have a lot of unfamiliar terms and numbers in them? I have no idea if itâs the same in this dimension though. I donât have any relative knowledge in order to make sense of those medical reports, so I have no idea how useful they would be.
âSo weâre free to go, right?â
âYes, go ahead.â
âCan you just subtract the bill from the payment for my genetic data? I can also pay it right now if thatâs what you want.â
âIt would be better to ask about something like that to the staff at the lobby, I think. Iâm just a researcher and a physician after all.â
âOkay. Thank you very much for today, Doc.â
âThank you for your time.â
âW-Weâre really grateful.â
I went out of the private room along with a calm-looking Mimi and a still-flustered Elma. We then headed for the information counter at the lobby like the Doc suggested.
Oh, and the medical fees for all three of us were 90,000 Enels. It was cheaper than expecte- Nah. 9,000,000 Yen in medical fees doesnât really seem all that cheap, doesnât it? Oh well. Itâs fine as long as itâs for our healthâ¦
Nah. On second thought, itâs really expensive. It seems medical services are expensive no matter which dimension you end up in. Iâll keep this in mind.
Should the three of us go somewhere to eat? I tried asking the girls and was told they wanted to change out of their current clothes because they felt they were too lightly dressed, so we ended up deciding to come back to the ship instead. Weâll get to eat a delicious lunch made by Chef Tetsujin once were back anyway, so I was all for it. And there wasnât really a need to go on a gastronomic adventure which had a high chance of failure.
âSo what did Dr. Shouko tell the two of you back there? Elma seemed really bothered for some reason, so it made me curious.â
âI-Itâs nothing.â
It looks like Elma was avoiding my gaze. She was eating her meal while turned away from me. Whyâs she acting all prickly anyway? I turned towards Mimi instead.
âShe just told me about medicine thatâs more suited for me compared to what Iâm taking right now, and recommended I switch over.â
âIs that so? You should do as she said then. Iâll pay for the meds, so get them as soon as you can.â
âYes. Thank you very much, Hiro-sama.â
Mimi gave me a sunny smile. Sâalright. Itâs a captainâs duty to ensure the health and wellbeing of his crew.
âSo what about you, Elma?â
âI-Itâs nothing to be concerned about. I was told the same thing as Mimi, thatâs all.ân/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
âHmm?â
Then why is your face bright red? But she seems hell-bent on not telling me. And I donât want to be too pushy. Fine. Iâll stop asking about it.
âAnyway, Iâll have to take it easy for three days. What should I do to pass the time though? Should I just hole up inside the ship?â
âNo. I asked when I got vaccinated earlier, and it seems you donât need to go that far. It seems thereâs no problem with taking a walk. The probability of getting side effects is really low after all.â
âI see. Should the three of us go out for some sightseeing then?â
âThat sounds wonderful. If weâre going for a tour of the Alein Tertius colony, the main activity should be shopping. Thereâs a lot of different shops here after all.â
âWell, we certainly did get to go around quite a few different stores yesterday. It was pretty enjoyable. So shopping will be the main activity huh. Are there any other interesting things we could do?â
âWe can go on a factory tour. We could visit food-processing factories that make products such as food cartridges and artificial meat. We can also tour hydroponic farms, high-tech machinery factories, or shipyards. Those types of factory tours seem really popular.â
âHou, factory tour huh. It sounds fun.â
Iâm particularly interested in touring food processing factories. I wanna know more about the food we eat on a daily basis.
âThereâs also a liquor manufacturing plant which makes use of genetically improved crops as well.â
*Pikun! Elmaâs long ears reacted. She sure is easy to read.
âAre the tours scheduled via reservation?â
âYes, I think so. Should I make one now?â
âYeah, okay. Can you plan a schedule that wouldnât be too hectic? Iâll leave deciding where weâre going to visit to you. Oh, and be sure to make the liquor plant the last stop.â
*Piku-pikun. Elmaâs ears twitched wildly.
âUnderstood. Iâll be sure to pick places with good reputations. And I think guests are also allowed to have free product samples as well.â
When Elma raised her head in excitement, our eyes met. When that happened, she panicked and brought her head down right away. Oh, and by the way Elma-san, your plate is already empty, you know.
âThen, tomorrow, the three of us will be going on a factory tour date.â
âIâm looking forward to it!â
âY-Youâre right. It sure sounds excitingâ¦â¦ Uh, Iâm going out to shop for a bit, okay?â
âHm? What are you going to buy? Will you be okay alone? Should I come with you?â
âI-Itâs fine! Itâs totally fine! Absolutely, positively fine! Iâll go by myself!â
Elma refused me in a panic. As soon as she managed to shove her plate on the dishwasher, she went to her room and left the ship soon afterward in a hurry. Hm. She really is acting weird.
âMimi?â
âI canât say it myself. Itâs not really a bad thing, and I think Elma-san would talk to you about it eventually when sheâs ready.â
Mimi declared so while smiling cheerfully. I decided to push my doubts aside again. Well, I guess itâs fine since it isnât a bad thing, according to Mimi.
âI donât get it, but Iâll try to respect Elmaâs privacy and let it slide, I guess.â
âYes.â
It kinda felt like Elma went out of the ship in a very panicked state earlier though. Was she really okay? Iâm still worried after all.
I only managed to see Elma again when evening came. For some reason, she made Mimi bring her meal to her room earlier and even used the messaging app to find out what time I would enter the bath so we wonât get to meet each other along the way.
â-!!!â
Her entire face was bright red when she entered my room. Whatâs this? Boiled elf?
And she wasnât wearing her usual outfit either. Usually, whenever she visited my room, sheâll always come decked in sloppy-looking pajamas or training wear. But tonight, sheâs wearing a prim, white negligee.
When I saw Elma with her milky white skin flushed red while wearing a sheer, white negligee⦠I was momentarily lost for words. She felt like a totally different person.
âHey there. Youâve been acting strange all day. You okay?â
âI-I-Iâm f-fine, yâknowâ¦?â
Elmaâs eyes were spinning. It totally doesnât seem like sheâs okay. Nope, not one bit.
âWell, uh, okay then. Why donât you come and sit over here first?â
âAh⦠wa⦠unâ¦â
Elma walked with restless steps and came right before the bed in no time. She seemed to hesitate for a bit but eventually sat down on my bed in a bold manner. But she didnât sit right beside me but kept a little distance instead.
âYou should be tired from todayâs activities.â
âY-Yeah.â
âYouâre also acting strange, Elma.â
âI-I donât really think so. Am I?â
âAre you sure you arenât uncomfortable or something?â
âUuâ¦â¦â
Elmaâs face blushed bright red and she hid both her long ears with her hands. So elves hide their ears instead of their face whenever theyâre embarrassed huh. Itâs a great example of the difference in culture between species.
âSo, whatâs wrong? Youâre really not acting like yourself, you know?â
I tried to grab Elmaâs waist, but she seemed surprised by it and hastily squirmed away. Hmmâ¦â¦?
âU-Um?â
âYeah.â
âI-I-Iâm⦠with you⦠b-b-bayâ¦â¦â
âBay-?â
âB-b-bu-bu-b-bay-!â
âWhat the heck!? Is that some kind of new-age rap or something!?[1]â
Elma fell face down on the bed while letting out a strange voice. And when I tried to lift her up in order to place her in a comfier position, I managed to smell alcohol. What the heck? What exactly should I do about this?
I lost the drive to lay my hand on Elma in this situation, so I ended up tucking her snuggly on the bed as I watched over her- or rather, I also followed suit and tucked myself right in after a bit.
âNnâ¦â¦ Hi?rooâ¦â¦â
Elmaâs lips curled into a sweet smile as she hugged my arm.
âBaby-making⦠Nyaaâ¦â¦â
âJust what kind of dream are you having thereâ¦â¦â
I think I heard some really surprising words from Elma as I closed my eyes. I soon became really drowsy from feeling the warmth of Elmaâs skin against my own. Maybe Iâm more tired from the check-up than I thought. I couldnât resist my sleepiness and soon drifted away to the land of dreams.
âHaauuuuuuâ¦â¦!â
Elma woke up early in the morning and covered her ears in embarrassment, with a bright red face. She was emitting steam from the top of her head. Elma seems super embarrassed for some reason.
âTo think I drank alcohol in order to psyche myself up, but actually passed out mid-wayâ¦â¦â
âPsyche yourself upâ¦? Just how many bottles did you drink anyway?â
âOne whole bottle of whiskey.â
âOuch.â
This disappointing elf actually drank one whole bottle of liquor with a really high alcohol content before she came to my room⦠Of course, sheâll end up passing out. Iâm just glad she didnât end up vomiting all over the bed.
âSo? Just why did you act like that yesterday anyway?â
âWell, how was I supposed to react when I was suddenly told it was possible to make children with youâ¦â¦? An elf shouldnât be able to bear children unless they fully recognize their partner as their lifelong spiritual companion afterâ¦â¦ allâ¦â¦?â
Gigigigi⦠Elma turned towards me in a mechanical manner reminiscent of a broken toy. Did you actually think I was still asleep this whole time? I managed to wake up way ahead of you, missy.
âGood morning.â
I greeted Elma, whose face turned an even brighter shade of red. A morning greeting is important. It said so in the Kojiki as well.
âG-Good mor-!?â
âMogaah-!?â
She proceeded to hit me in the face with a pillow. Hey! Donât just suddenly hit me with all your might with a pillow, you! My nose hurts! Rather, itâs hard to breathe, idiot!
I wasted time grappling with a flustered Elma on top of my bed first thing in the morning. Good grief. Men donât like violent women yâknow. This is why I call you a disappointing elf.
[1]Note: This is actually different from the joke in the raws. In the Japanese raws, Elma kept on saying âkeâ and âkoâ repeatedly. She was actually trying to say âkodomo zukuriâ - which basically means the act of baby-making. Due to her stutters, her broken words ended up sounding similar to the Japanese onomatopoeia for a hen clucking, to which Hiro retorts.