Jo
MUM'S SOON-TO-BE Bakery is definitely not bad looking for a building that's been used for a couple of years. The walls are painted a light cream with a few white streaks in between. It's bare apart from the counter in front. The space is wide enough for a range of customers to sit and apart from the few cracks on the tiled floor and the old window panes, it's in perfect condition.
Mum said the Dundees made use of it as a small family bar but their youngest child had traveled abroad for his studies and they were too old to run it anyway so they decided to shut it down and rent it out.
"A glass shelf will stay here," Mum says, pointing at a portion of the counter. She gestures to the table by the wall at the back of it. "There as well. Bread, cookies, doughnuts, pies e.t.c stay in these shelves. And then there'll be a huge one there for the cakes." She points at the far end of the counter. "A cake stand should be somewhere around here as well."
Drew points at the wall behind the counter. "A menu will fit nicely there. You see it right when you walk in."
"There could be another one outside as well," I shrug. "Just like the one in front of the bookstore I work at."
Mum starts to say something again but her phone rings and she looks at us and tells us it's important before swiping a finger across the screen.
"We'll be in the kitchen." Drew says and pulls me along with him.
Technically, it's still very much an empty storage room and not a kitchen yet but I don't argue as I follow closely behind him. He struggles to pull the window blinds open and when he succeeds, a rush of dust diffuses in causing him to cough.
"You okay? You could have just let me do it."
"I'm fine," he says, subtly rolling his eyes. Ever since he got alcohol poisoning, I've been by his side as much as possible which I'm sure to an extent he finds annoying. "I'm not going to drop dead anytime soon."
"Drew," I frown. "That's not funny."
Apparently he finds humor in my misery so he laughs when he sees the look on my face and I sigh before placing my hands on my waist.
"While you're at it, you wanna explain why you snuck into my room at 4 a.m?"
His laughter slows to a pause and then he clears his throat and rolls his shoulders back. "I was sure you were asleep."
"At first I though it was a dream but now, I can smell you."
He sniffs his armpits and then he proceeds to sniff the collar of his shirt. "I don't know what you're talking about. I smell great."
I roll my eyes to the back of my head. "I know. You're wearing my perfume."
He doesn't look ashamed at all. He leans against the wall and folds his arms. He'd lost a bit of weight immediately after the poisoning but he's getting better. Just very slowly. "Right. I ran out."
"And that's why you snuck into my room at 4 a.m to pour half of my bottle into yours. Very slick by the way."
He throws an unamused look my way. "You're being sarcastic."
I nod. "I am. And why were you up at that time?"
"The urge to drink." He admits. "Vodka would have gone a long way if I had access to it last night."
I let out a breath and smile a little. "You're doing a great job."
Since he got back from the hospital, he's been trying to withdraw from alcohol but it's a bit hard to do that especially when you're addicted to it. And it was so hard during the first couple of days because it would be so obvious he needed help from the way his body trembled at times and how much he would sweat but he's been restraining himself either way. It's been a week now and I'm done with my exams which gives me more time to coddle him like a baby.
"Am I?" He frowns. "Or it could be because mum got rid of my stash."
"You could have snuck out of the house to a bar." I respond. "You have a car and the keys were sitting right on your bedside table. You could have succumbed and gotten access to it if you wanted to. But you didn't. Instead, you decided to creep your little sister out at 4 a.m."
He snorts. "I was trying to distract myself."
"You're doing great job, Drew." I repeat. "Mum is proud of you everyday."
"It's a really hard job."
I shuffle towards him and lean against the wall right next to him before bumping my shoulder with his. "I know."
I stare at the empty space around us and allow myself to see a near future when this place will be filled up with people while the scent of pastries pleasantly fills everyone's noses. "Mum is going to do great here." I say. "It's what she's always wanted and I'm happy she's finally getting it."
"And you?"
I glance at him immediately. "What about me?"
"What do you want?"
I draw a line with my finger over the speck of dust on the window. "I've always wanted to leave this town and I'm one step closer to doing that. I want to get the scholarship I applied for. I want to go to college. I want to be a doctor."
"And then there's this boy and you think he's going to be an obstacle to everything you've laid out for your future."
I shrink away from him like he's burnt me with his words. "I never said that."
"You didn't, but you're my sister and I know you more than anyone else." He stands straighter against the wall and looks at me. "One of the reasons we argued a lot when we were younger was because I hated your stupid lists."
I narrow my eyes at him even though I'm aware of what he's talking about. "What lists?"
"You know, those lists you always keep around you. At the back of your journal. The ones that have a number of things you want to do or be or achieve. It started when we were five and you learnt that from dad because you always wanted to be like him. I bet you're carrying one with you right now." He says and I adamantly shake my head from side to side.
"It wasn't because I was trying to be like him. I just learnt it from him. It makes me organized."
"I have nothing against you wanting to be organized, Jo but we both know you wanted to be like him. To do everything he did. When one thing doesn't go according to your lists, you beat yourself up and you don't accept the fact that life doesn't always go the way you want.
"You don't want a repeat of what happened between dad and mum but I don't think what's between you and him is anything like that. I'm very sure 'fall in love with a boy and have a boyfriend before college' isn't a part of your list. And now you think that's a problem because you're scared he'll draw you back."
I've never had anyone expose me so openly before. I've never admitted these things to myself but hearing them from the mouth of someone else makes me feel extremely vulnerable.
"Listen," he says and grabs my shoulders. "You're going to be a great doctor but if you're going to be one, be one because you really want to be one and not because dad wasn't able to be one. And if you want to fall in love, do it. Stop making decisions based on what dad would have done. He's not part of our lives anymore. You're your own person, Jo. If things don't go according to your very accurately numbered lists, I think that's when you know you're really living."
I bite down hard on my lip and regard him with a cautious look. I feel raw and open all of a sudden. It's not pleasant at all but the sting is new. "I thought older brothers are usually overprotective."
He grins a little. "I just want you to have fun in general. I'm not saying you should throw so much caution to the wind and end up in jail but you do know what I'm saying."
I fiddle aimlessly with my thumb. "And what if he hurts me? Or I don't know? If we eventually hurt each other? What's going to happen then?"
"He'd regret it if he did. If not for anything, because of my fist." I can't help the snort that escapes my throat when he says that. "And honestly, you won't know unless you tried. You said that to me when I was too chicken to join the football tryouts in high school."
Just then, the door to the storage room opens and mum walks in with a sigh. "That was Pierce from work." She says. "One of my co-workers. He won't shut up about me resigning soon."
"Everyone's going to miss you at work." Drew says, casually slinging an arm over my shoulder like he did not just have one of the most naked conversations with me.
"Sure." Mum drawls as we head out of the enclosed room. "They'll definitely miss the treats I bake. That might be the only reason they remember I used to exist there."
Drew's laughter echoes in the building and mum joins him soon enough. I, however, have zoned out from their conversation. Stop making decisions based on what dad would have done. That's the only thing that echoes in my ears.
â
"THANK YOU FOR choosing Ellie's Second-hand Books andâ"
The red-faced brunette sharply exits the store before Eloise completes her sentence. Eloise makes a sucking sound with her teeth and narrows her eyes at the door. "Bitch."
I nudge her with an elbow even though a smile threatens to break loose on my face.
"Sorry, can't help it. I'm PMSing and some of these customers are a pain in the butt." She says as she rounds the counter and takes a seat in front of it.
"You're just not customer-friendly," Otis retorts and the daggers she shoots at him makes me shiver as I linger by the shelves in search of a particular book. "Whatever the case is, the customer is always right."
I roll my eyes. "Shut up, Otis. We all know the reason she was a bitch was because you refused to give her your number."
Eloise throws her hands in the air. "Exactly my point. See, she gets it."
Otis says something in response and they start to bicker again like they didn't just do that fifteen minutes ago. At this point, I'm pretty much immune to their banter and whenever I point out the fact that some of that steam looks like sexual tension, they both team up and transfer their aggression to me so I'd rather not butt in.
By the time the door jingles to signify that another customer has walked in, I'm already at the far end of the bookstore and I'm too engrossed in what I'm reading to be concerned about who they are. The hairs on my skin stand when I hear footsteps. Or maybe it's the cologne. I don't know but what I do know is that I step back a little and trip over an object on the floor.
Flynn catches me before I fall face first on the floor and I know it's him because I know what he smells like. He grabs me by the arm and prevents me from falling by pulling me upwards and well, towards him until the book I'm holding hits his chest with a dull thump.
He looks down at me and speaks. "Careful." He says, but doesn't let go of my arm. Eventually he does and he does because he leans down to pick up what would have turned my face to a pancake but all I can think of or remember rather is the time we were this close in the elevator a week ago. I haven't really been in close contact with him since we've been writing exams but now that we're this close, I remember what it felt like when he kissed me and said those words in my ears. Words that I haven't stopped thinking about for a week.
"Jenga." He says and I'm blank for a second before he gets back to his feet and shows me two small wooden blocks. "Two missing pieces."
"Oh." I mumble and wrap my hands around myself with the book in the middle of my chest like it will shield me from him. "It probably belongs to Otis. He talked about loosing some pieces once."
He leans against the bookshelf in front of me and I take that opportunity to scan him from head to toe as quickly as possible. He's wearing a loose black Tee and dark sweatpants. Socks cover his feet and they're sitting inside a pair of crocs. Casual as hell yet for some unexplainable reason, undeniably attractive.
He plucks the book from my arms and looks at me. "You know, technically you're not supposed to read the book to this extent until you pay for it."
I clear my throat and unfold my arms. "Well, technically I work here so I get to do some things other people can't do."
"Like what?"
"For instance, snooping around to see if there are books I can read in one sitting when I don't have much inventory to do or trying to think of ways to convince my boss's son not to rat any of this out to his mum."
He looks down at the book and smiles with the dimples on his face on display. His hair has grown longer within the last time I saw him and now and while he looks at the back cover of the book, a couple strands of his dark brown hair fall in front of his face. I've never balled my fists so hard before to stop myself from brushing them back.
"She's scared to fall in love with the pirate because she's afraid he might betray her and tell everyone her secret."
My eyebrows are as high as my hairline. "You've read the book?"
"My sister has." He flips through the pages. "She talks about it all the time."
"What's her secret?"
"They're not the same. She's a mermaid and he's a pirate looking for gold and once you've found a mermaid in this story, you've found gold." He brushes his hair away from his face and looks at me. "She's also scared because it's either she leaves or everyone leaves at the end. Like her parents, her best friends, e.t.c."
Sounds like someone I know but I'm curious, so I ask again. "Well, does he?"
He shrugs and snaps the book shut. "Buy the book and find out."
I give him an annoyed look and watch as he moves the book to and fro. He tsks and looks at me again. "I should tell my mum."
"Go ahead. Snitch."
He has the guts to look downright amused by what I just said. "Or, you could help me find this book I'm looking for and I'll keep my mouth shut."
I narrow my eyes at him and snatch the book from his hands, deciding to help only because I don't want anything to stain Talia's view of me. "What book?"
"I don't know the title," he says, moving away from the shelf and standing straighter.
I turn around and place the book back in the shelf. "You don't know the title?"
"Nope. But I know it has to do the steps it takes for a guy to win a girl's heart. Apparently, buying her coffee everyday didn't work."
I take some seconds longer than necessary to turn around because apparently my face is hot but it's slightly dark here so it shouldn't be too noticeable. When I turn around, I don't look at him. I just move down the aisle while he follows behind me. "I could take you to the Non-fiction shelf but you know, you could check Wikipedia if you don't find one."
I don't even have to turn around to know he's smirking already. "Oh I have. Above others, it tells me to be brave and confident and that a couple of corny pick up lines could do the trick."
I turn around and feign nonchalance. "Like what?"
He jams his hands into his pockets and regards me with his cool, green eyes. "I'm sorry this might be a little awkward, but I get super nervous around pretty girls."
I grin a little. "Overused."
"Are you an angel? Because I think you fell from heaven."
I laugh and he does as well. "You can't win anyone's heart with that."
He smiles and looks at me again. "You probably get this a lot, but I love how pretty your eyes are."
I think I just heard my own heartbeat in my ears. "I don't actually."
"Well, you should." He says and I look away with a flush to my cheeks when the eye contact becomes a little too intense.
Just then, a voice disrupts the moment and when I look up, I'm surprised to see Ellie standing in front of us in a purple beanie and lavender parka.
"Eloise told me to leave you both since very unholy things happen in dark corners at the library but I was too nosy to find out what was going on."
I shoot Flynn a look, still surprised to see her here. I've not seen her since the last time I did at the hospital and she's been resting at home for a week. "You didn't tell me you came with her."
He shrugs. "I got distracted." He gives Ellie a look. "Where are your shoes?"
That's when I look down and notice she's only wearing a pair of Mickey Mouse patterned socks on her feet.
She points at the direction of the counter. "I took them off. They're too tight and I'm not that cold. This dude agrees." She says, slightly kicking her gas tank on the floor.
"Pizza's here, lovebirds." Otis declares from the front. "Take it out and make babies later."
"God," I whisper to myself with my eyes closed and when I open them, Flynn sighs and Ellie laughs.
"You didn't hear that." He tells her but she scoffs.
"I'm fourteen. I've seen and heard it all."
Flynn's eyes narrow. "You've seen what?"
"Flynn, get your ass here and help us set up." Eloise shouts, saving Ellie from answering his question and he frowns.
"Set what up?"
"Just go," Ellie says, pushing him away. "Jo and I need to have a girl talk."
"Fine." He grumbles, walking out of the aisle while she gives me a hug and talks nonstop.
On our short way back to the multicolored rug where we always have our breaks, we catch up on how she's been doing and she tells me how much Flynn has been treating her like a child and I liken that to how I've been treating my brother for the past one week. She also whispers in my ears that she has roughly three weeks left and plans to complete her bucket list in the following weeks. When she's not looking, I pretend there's something in my eye but I'm only just cleaning up the moisture that may have been lingering on my eyelashes immediately she mentioned the time she has left.
In the heat of Eloise and Otis' new banter, Ellie shouts, "SO WHO IS SANTA CLAUS THIS YEAR?"
Their banter stops and all of a sudden, all hands point to me. I drop my half eaten slice of pizza on my paper plate and grab a can of soda from the basket. "I accept my fate."
Flynn laughs and nudges my side with his elbow. "I was a pumpkin for Halloween. You can do this. Besides, you'd make a cute Santa."
"Agreed." Ellie grins. "Last Christmas, Otis scared all the children away."
I look at him and find him pinching his nose. "Was the costume scary?"
"No, he was just being aggressive with it. Baring his teeth at every innocent kid like a wild dog." Eloise taunts and Otis shoots her a glare.
"Now, let me tell you somethingâ"
"Not again." Flynn groans and I cut in before it can get any worse.
"There's something I'm missing between you two. I've been missing it ever since I got a job here. There's a reason behind this, isn't it?"
Eloise looks at me sharply. "Behind what?"
"The silly fights. The unnecessary banter. The side eyes. I see it all."
"They had sex." Ellie blurts and everyones reaction is totally different.
"I knew it." Flynn sighs.
"They what?" I ask and even though I've teased them about sexual tension, I never in my wildest imagination thought it would happen.
Eloise and Otis look dumbfounded.
"Repeatedly." Ellie says again. "At the inventory office."
My jaw becomes slack all of a sudden. "What?!"
Ellie looks at me seriously now. "On. Your. Desk."
"What the fuck?"
"How did you know?" Otis asks curiously and Eloise hides her face in her hands.
"Before we get to that, on my desk? Are you both insane?" Imaginations run wild in my head and a memory of me swiping off the ketchup that had oozed out from my burger onto the table one afternoon ago resurfaces and I feel like throwing up.
"We stopped after you got a job here." Eloise says silently. "Actually, about a week before you got a job here. We realized it was inappropriate to do it at the store so we stopped."
"Oh my god." I say wide-eyed because for some reason, it's still hard to believe what I'm hearing. "Oh my god."
"How did you know?" Otis asks Ellie once again and she sighs.
"It's simple really. You both worked together alone for a long time before Jo got here. My mum is basically never here, sales aren't exactly the best so you could always do what you want. You can't have sex here because the glass on the walls will expose you both so where's the best place to do it?"
"The inventory office where it's enclosed and quiet." Flynn answers and she nods.
"Correct."
"On Jo's desk."
"Correct."
"Where she eats and sleeps when she's tired with work."
"Wow." I glare at him. "You're making this so much better."
He smiles and grabs another slice of pizza. "Glad I could be of help."
"Plus," Ellie continues. "It's not that hard to figure out that you both like each otherâ"
"We don't." The two culprits cut her off but she ignores them and continues.
"And sex ruins things sometimes. Especially when it's supposed to be a one-time thing."
"How old are you again?" Otis asks and she beams.
"Fourteen. I read a lot of novels."
"Look," Eloise interrupts, waving her arms around. She looks embarrassed. I would be too. "Like she said, it was supposed to be a one-time thing, okay?"
"But then life happened." Otis sighs.
"Life?"
Flynn snorts. "Funny way of saying you were both constantly horny."
"Flynn." Eloise spits and he shrugs and lifts his hands above his head.
"What? I'm enjoying this."
"Also, he's leaving after Christmas." Ellie tells me. "They're both finding it hard to say goodbye. So what else do they do since they're both in denial? Bicker and argue. It's cute, really."
"That reminds me, we should hold your sendoff soon. Maybe it should be on the night Jo dresses up as Santa."
I turn to him and poke his chest with my finger. Eloise, Otis and Ellie are still engaged in the conversation but I've tuned them out so it's just me and him now. "You seem oddly excited about me becoming Santa."
"For the first time in my life, I asked Santa for a gift. Hopefully he or in this case, she is nice enough to give me one."
I chew the inside of my cheek to hide my smile. "Hopefully, you don't get on my naughty list. If you do, you can kiss your gift goodbye."
He chuckles and brushes his hair away from his face. "Guess I have a lot of work to do."