Jo
WHEN FLYNN PARKS next to the curb, I decide there and then that I hate him even more. I jerk forward, the seatbelt wrapping tightly around my torso and preventing me from colliding headfirst with the glass.
I blow out my cheeks and lean my head against the headrest, closing my eyes. I feel his eyes scanning my face.
"Are you okay?"
I crack my eyes open. "I'm furious."
He nods, seeming contented and then tells me we're here. I get out of the car and slam the door shut while a soft ocean breeze breathes past us. I'm more than happy I'm wearing a sweater and then I look back and see Flynn bringing out everything he threw at the backseat.
Right in front of us is a cabin-like restaurant, half of the walls are built with logs and the other half is completely exposed. The foundation is supported by rigid pillars made of wood that sink straight into the sand and there's a suspiciously long staircase leading up to the front door. Glinting fairy lights are hung all around the bottom of the thatched roof and from where we are, down below, I can see the very few customers conversing in their seats and a single waiter occasionally going back and forth.
"You coming or what?" Flynn asks, already in front of me. He's heading up the stairs like he's done this several times and I hesitate before stepping forward and placing my hand on the banister. The first step creaks and I let out a shaky breath and look up to see Flynn pounding his way upwards.
Gaining a little more confidence, I take the next step and begin to climb further until I get to the front door where the word 'Rosie's' in neon lights are staring at me right in the middle and push it open. It swings shut behind me and I take a minute to glance around just as the smell of spicy burgers fill my nose. The whole place looks quiet, intimate and kind of romantic. The only sounds I can pick up are the silent chatter from the few people in the restaurant and the distant waves crashing in the ocean.
I follow Flynn to a booth that sits at the edge of the cabin and settle down on the comfortable chair. This particular angle gives a beautiful view of the twinkling city lights of Appleton-the city Lakeville shares borders with and I stare at it with a particular longing. I stare at it with a possibility that someone I've missed is there.
Flynn takes a seat opposite me and I shift my focus to him, painfully ignoring the picturesque view next to me.
"So," I frown. "I need to set some things straight here."
I don't wait for him to answer so I move on with counting. "One, this is strictly tutorials only. No funny business."
Flynn chews the inside of his cheek and nods.
"Two, this-" I gesture to the space between us and the books around us and continue, "- doesn't make us friends. I'm simply your tutor and you're the tutee. We're still enemies regardless."
Flynn does the okay sign with his fingers and vehemently nods. "Got it."
I clear my throat. "Three, please refrain from being any closer to me than my arm's length," I stretch my arm on the table to demonstrate and I see his eyes flick to my arm and back to my face.
I can't exactly tell his expression but he nods regardless, completely unfazed.
"Good," I retract my arm and say the next number. "Four, please stick to time and let me know beforehand of any adjustments you'll wish to make to this arrangement."
"And last but not the least,-"
Flynn rolls his eyes and leans forward on the table. "Listen, Pryce, I'm not particularly fond of you either so I think we should just get this over with," he pauses for a second and folds his arms. They bulge against each other, the right one sprawled with a few tattoos. "Frankly, I think you're quite irritating some times. Like a literal pain in my ass."
I glare at him, feeling thoroughly insulted. "You're disgusting."
Flynn glares right back. "Good," he voices out, his tone deep and dark.
He sticks out his arm and places it on the table. "We should shake on that."
"On what?"
"Mutual hatred."
I lean forward, blind with annoyance and thrust my hand forward. "Intense dislike."
"Pure hate."
"Perfect." Our palms meet in the middle with a fierce handshake and persistent glares.
Just then, Flynn pulls me forward with his hand and my eyes widen slightly, the sudden jerk catching me off guard until half of my body is across the table and his face is a hair's breadth away from mine.
He grins now, slightly tilting his head to the side and asks, "When does the arm's length rule begin, again?"
"Oh dear, am I interrupting something?" an unfamiliar female voice asks right next to us and I force my grip away from his and sit back down, a slight flush on my cheeks. I turn to the woman who looks like she's in her late sixties holding a single plate of a large, deliciously looking burger and an apron tied around her waist.
She smiles warmly at us and says, "Flynn, you brought a beautiful girl."
Flynn grins at her as she places the plate in front of him. "Mhm," he says and immediately digs into the food. Then he adds mouthful, "We're on a date."
"He's an idiot," I say on instinct and shake my head. "I'm his tutor."
She laughs. "Well, it's nice to meet you. Welcome to Rosie's. I own this place. I saw him from a distance and brought his usual order but I wasn't sure of what you wanted, so what would you like?"
"I'm fine, thank you."
She nods. "Alright. In case you eventually need anything, just call the waitress. And feel free to order anything you want. It's always on the house for first-timers." Then she gracefully waltzes away.
When I turn back to glare at the boy in front of me, he shakes his head and picks out some of the pickles, placing them on the plate before biting into his burger. "You just missed an opportunity of a lifetime."
"Don't do that again," I warn and glance at my watch. It's way past five and we've honestly not achieved shit. I rub my fingers on my temples as I place my books in my bag and ask, "Have you read the book?"
Flynn dabs the corner of his mouth with a napkin and leans back on his seat.
"Yes," he nods confidently.
I narrow my eyes at him. "I'm not talking about the blurb, Cauley."
He scoffs. "I know. I really have." He drums his tattooed fingers on the table. "I've just not been able to get past page six."
I stare at him incredulously. "And you've 'read' the book?"
He leans forward and picks a toothpick from the table before meeting my eyes. "I think you should give me your number."
"I think you should read the book."
He places the toothpick at the corner of his mouth and looks at me through his eyelashes. "Okay."
I'm surprised but I don't let it show. "Good," I sling my bag over my shoulder. "We didn't get anything done today so I'll see you on Wednesday."
He gets to his feet too and picks up his bag. "Alright, I'll drop you off."
I laugh but then I realize he isn't joking when he's staring at me with an arched brow. "You're serious?"
He shrugs and walks to the counter, pays and then exits the restaurant with me tailing after him.
"I almost died when you brought us here."
Flynn glances behind him to look at me as he descends the stairs. "That's hyperbole right? Exaggeration?"
I roll my eyes as I get to the bottom of the stairs. "Oh, look. He's smart."
He grins. "Thank you," then he frowns and opens the car door. "Now, get in."
"No, thanks." I grip the straps of my bag and look away from him and the death trap he calls a car. "I'm good. I'll take a bus."
"You won't get a bus around here until it's completely dark."
"There's a 1.5% chance of me being kidnapped, so I'm good."
"Get in," he demands and runs a hand through his hair. "Please. It's late. I want to be able to sleep with my two eyes closed."
I glare at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Flynn bites his smile, the breeze passing through his face and brushing his hair across it. He smiles for a second and I look away. I don't like his smile.
"Just get in, Pryce. You're as stubborn as a mule."
I eye him for a second and reluctantly get in. He shuts the door and I briefly glance at him as he walks around the hood of the car before tucking the seatbelt on and clearing my throat once he opens his side of the car.
"Just drop me off at Main Street. I'll find my way from there." I pause then beg, "And please slow down."
He doesn't look at me as he starts the car. Then he gives me a wicked smirk with one hand on the steering wheel and says, "Aye aye captain."
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"YOU THINK HE'S trying to get into your pants?"
I roll my eyes to the back of my head before injecting insulin into my thigh and waiting. "Like that's ever going to happen." Flynn Cauley trying to use tutoring as a way to get into my pants seems a little bit farfetched. But when you think about it, maybe it isn't. I shudder at the thought.
Hana sighs, her face becoming a little unfocused on the screen before she glances back at me. She looks different this time. Her hair's been styled to a pixie cut and the familiar auburn is now a shouting pink. "Whatever it is, it seems like you're having fun," she teases.
I scoff and dispose my stuff into the sharps container before properly tucking my legs underneath my thighs and placing my laptop on them. "I'm having fun? You're the one who moved to Switzerland. You're practically living my dream."
She laughs a bit and shakes her head. "Trust me, boarding school's not that fun." She raises the ends of her blouse and shows me the insulin pump on her stomach. "Got this last week. The old one got a little bit unstable."
I bite my lip and unconsciously wish I'd had this instead of injecting myself all the time, regardless of the fact that I've gotten used to it.
"It's a bitch sometimes, trust me. Especially in class, when it beeps, I really want the ground to open up and swallow me," she laughs and shakes her and I smile. The door to her room creaks and she exchanges a few words with whoever came in before nodding and rolling her eyes.
She turns back to me with a sad smile, "I have to go. Some preparatory lesson or something."
"I get it," I nod and then she tells me she misses me and I do the same before the calls disconnects.
I close the laptop with a sigh and see King from the small space between the door and the wall, trying to nudge his way in. I get to my feet and open the door to find him fully dressed in his adorable onesie. He barks and then I pick him up and nuzzle into his fur.
"You're the cutest dog I've ever seen," I tell him as I walk down the stairs to find mum preparing dinner in the kitchen, still fully dressed from work. She glances at me with surprise once she sees me and I head towards the dining.
"You're early today. Seems your boss is loosening up," she turns back to the sink and drains the rice in the sieve.
I chew on the inside of my cheek and silently drum my fingers on the table. "Yeah, about that. I kinda lost my job."
Grandma slowly walks into the kitchen dressed in a knee-length gown coupled up with a flowery sweater that exposes the collar and before mum can react, she lifts the dog to her thighs and asks, "You lost your job, honey?"
"Got fired actually."
Mum turns to me with a brows knitted together and her lips turned downwards. She rolls the sleeves of her coffee colored jacket further up her arms and moves closer to me. "What happened?"
I can't have you dying on customers, okay?
I don't look at her as I speak. "Had a low at work and was behind schedule. He's had enough, I guess," I say with a nonchalant shrug even though it still hurts. "Didn't want me dying on his customers and all of that."
Mum grinds her teeth and closes her eyes tightly for a second before asking, "He said that to you?"
Grandma huffs and then turns to me with a serious expression on her face. "Your boss-and there's no stopping me this time Madeline- is an absolute piece of crap. I'd slap him upside the head with this book if I ever saw him again. Or a kick in the shin. I used to be a black belt in Karate before I met your grandfather. Your mum- she's aware of this."
I chuckle a bit and mum's frown dissolves into a scoff. "Sure."
She turns to me and holds my hands. "Mum's right. Garner's an idiot and you're not dying on anyone's hands. You're absolutely perfect just like every other kid out there is."
It's hard to believe her words but I nod, regardless and she squeezes them before turning back to the kitchen. "It's pure vegan, tonight." She proudly announces and her mother and I groan in unison.
Once she dishes the food, the fresh, citrus-like smell of cilantro fills the air as grandma talks about her husband being in the army as usual and I take a spoonful into my mouth while I listen. The dining table is made for six people and the two empty seats glare at me, devoid of Dad and Drew. When I glance back at the seats, they're both there, eating and laughing alongside the rest of us and when I blink, they're gone. I miss when dinner used to be with the whole family. My mood shifts all of a sudden and I bite down hard on my food before mum notices me.
"You okay, honey?"
I force a smile. "Yeah. I'm good."
I pick up the lime wedge on the plate and squeeze the juice onto whatever's left of the brown rice and mentally search for something to say since I know she's not satisfied with my answer. "I'm actually tutoring now."
Her eyes light up immediately. "Really? You volunteered?"
When she says it like that, it sounds like I'm doing it out of my free will. Without getting paid.
So to make her even happier, I say, "Of course. Out of the goodness of my heart."
Grandma snorts and mum ignores her and beams. "I knew it."
"I'm still trying to get a new job though. I feel like this vegetable without one." I show her the vegetable on my fork and she squints her eyes, thinking for a minute before turning to Grandma.
"Mum, you still have that flyer right? You know? From your book club?"
Grandma nods three times and flips the pages of her book before bringing out a small flyer from one of the pages and handing it over to me.
"It's an advertisement of a used bookstore," mum explains as I scan the paper. "The owner supplies-donates, actually- most of the books mum's book club uses and she's hiring."
Grandma sighs like she remembers something. "Yes, yes. Talia, such a sweet girl."
I nod excitedly, my eyes drifting over the words, Ellie's Second-hand Books and Print Shop in cursive before turning to mum. "This is great."
I've always wanted to work at a bookstore. Staring at this piece of paper immediately transports me into a future where I'm sitting in this particular shop, surrounded with an endless array of books. It's honestly like a dream come true.
Mum nods and pushes her plate aside. "It's not much but it's something."
"It's perfect," I beam. "Thanks mum."
Grandma clears her throat a little too loudly and I laugh before thanking her too. Mum gets to her feet and immediately she turns back, I take my plate and empty the rest next to King who silently looks at me with gratitude before feasting on the remnants of my dinner. Mum turns back around and takes her plate, alongside mine and grandma's and tosses them in the sink.
"By the way," she says as she turns the tap on. "I talked to your brother today. It's been a while. It was so nice to hear from him."
I scoff and get to my feet as well. "Let me guess, he's broke?"
Mum sighs and turns to me with a foamy hand sponge. "C'mon honey. Give him a break. College is tough and I know that from experience. You will soon."
Give him a break. Yeah right.
"That tough that he doesn't respond to any of our calls unless he needs money?"
Mum doesn't respond and that's when I realize that grandma has retired to bed. I walk towards her and hug her from behind before telling her goodnight and heading up to my room.
I take a seat in front of my desk and bring out my books from my bag. My journal sits right on top of the stack on the table, so I pick a pen from the small jar of pens and pencils next to my Calculus textbook and flip the book open. Just before I do any writing, my phone buzzes with a notification and I slide it off one of my books and tap on it.
It's a post from my brother's Instagram and despite knowing what I'll find, I tap on his account. It's a picture of him and a bunch of people laughing at a frat party. He looks like he's having the time of his life with a red cap turned backwards on his head, the Lakeville University sweater on his body, a bottle of Smirnoff in one hand and a girl's shoulder occupying the other.
I scroll away and tap on his story to see a video of him taking a ridiculous amount of shots with another guy. A group of hunky guys are cheering him up and once he finishes first, he slaps a wad of cash on the table and the camera shakes, shouts bursting from every corner of the dimly lit room and then it's over. I watch it again, again and again and again until the my eyes start to burn and a breathless laugh fizzles out.
Give him a break. College is tough and I know that from experience. You will too.
I switch off the lights and flip my window binds shut before changing into my dad's old NYU sweater and climb into my bed. It doesn't smell like him anymore and it doesn't reach my thighs anymore but it doesn't stop me from wearing it anyway. I lay on my bed and bring the covers up to my chest while I stare at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. We did that together. We did that on the night before my tenth birthday and at exactly 12 a.m, he switched off my lights and whispered a happy birthday when he thought I had fallen asleep.
I'd opened my eyes after he left and looked up to see the most beautiful stars I'd ever seen and decided it was the best birthday gift.
I've changed some a few times since then because it only lasts so long but staring at them now, they don't look too beautiful anymore. The colors are dim and emit a dull glow that reflects my mood. I turn to the side and close my eyes, hoping to get enough sleep for the next day.
Hoping for things to go back to normal someday.
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