Jo
FLYNN'S HEAD IS resting on my stomach when I wake up while the rest of my body is cuddled with Amanda on the blankets. I rub my eyes a little and check my insulin pump. Once I see my blood sugar's stable, I groggily reach for my phone next to Cass's feet. It's just 4a.m and everyone in my hazy view is still fast asleep. We stayed up pretty late last night but the urge to pee woke me up, which is why I'm currently trying to disentangle myself from the two bodies on top of mine.
I do so successfully and leave the fort and I don't even bother to change my flip flops when it feels like I'm wearing two left feet. My half-asleep state leads me to the nearest bathroom but when I open the door, my drowsiness leaves when I see Ellie on the tiled floor, with her eyes closed and a streak of dried vomit trailing down her chin from her mouth.
An unmistakable rush of panic fills me when I think she's unconscious but she opens her eyes and turns her head to look at me and when I hurry towards her, she shoots her hand forward.
"Don't come any closer." She silently says. "Please."
I ignore her and step closer. "You're hurtâ"
"No." She shakes her head repeatedly and then she starts to cry. "No, please. I peed on myself. It's embarrassing."
I get to my knees and pull her up against me, regardless of the dark, wet patch on her pants. I clean off the trail of vomit from her face with my thumb and that's when I notice my hands shaking. "I don't care. What happened?"
"I just wanted to use the toilet." She tries to explain between tears. She's sobbing quietly, making an effort not to wake anyone else up. "I got here and my legs just gave up. I couldn't move and I don't even know when I threw up. I'm so sorry, I must have woken you up."
I hug her tighter and she presses her face against my neck. Everything looked fine yesterday. She was dancing and laughing and even though she had struggle breathing at some point, she'd take a break and join us again. I'm crying but I shouldn't be. Not when I'm trying to comfort her. I hold her face gently and get to my feet. There's urgency in my tone. "I should call your brother."
But just when I say those words, the door to the bathroom opens and Flynn walks in. He looks slightly disoriented and I don't know if it's because he just woke up or it's because of the situation he met us in but he gets to his knees immediately and lifts his sister into his arms in a beat.
I turn around and open the door wider for them to walk through and that's when I see that everyone else is awake. Khalid holds Cass in a tight embrace while Carter hurries down the stairs with Flynn's car keys.
"I've called your parents. They're on their way to the hospital." Carter says immediately Amanda opens the front door.
"Thanks man." Flynn says, nodding at him and taking the keys from his hands.
"Drive safe."
I wipe my cheeks and follow right behind him. "I'm coming with you." I say in a stern tone that leaves no room for argument and thankfully, he doesn't object.
We get into the car with me behind, clutching Ellie's hand while she cries on my shoulder and the ride to the hospital blurs before my eyes. I transition between silent panicking to telling myself everything will be okay before going back to silently panicking each time I hear her forced, ragged breaths. But then, Flynn stretches a hand forward and turns on the stereo and then one of Beethoven's compositions starts to play. I'm not sure which it is but I've heard it before.
It's still dark outside, the road is still bare and the morning mist coats the car windows but Ellie's body relaxes slowly when the tunes play and soon enough, they're both humming quietly along with the music.
They're harmonizing and the melody is so quiet and serene that it momentarily makes me forget about our current situation. I'd been so stiff before but I relax a little and close my eyes for a moment and enjoy the hidden 'you'll be okay' messages they're communicating to each other through a song.
When next I open my eyes, the hospital is already in view and Flynn scoops Ellie into his arms while I trail behind them. We don't get too far because within seconds, a couple of nurses and doctors attend to us and a bed wheels Ellie's body straight into the ER.
Flynn looks exhausted as he watches them go without taking his off her. His jaw is hard from clenching it, his eyes are glassy and his hair is all mussed up from running his hands through them. I wrap my arms around him and hug him as tight as I can because I don't know what to do. He hugs me back, stroking my hair lovingly and we don't say anything to each other.
"Thank you for being here." He eventually murmurs into my hair and I lean back a little and kiss him softly.
Always.
We sit down in the hospital's corridor while Flynn shoots Carter and the others a quick text about what's going on and within five minutes, I hear Talia calling Flynn's name. When I look up, I see her heading towards us in quick strides while she wheels a man forward. Her hair is all over the place and she looks like us in the sense that she just rolled out of bed with her pajamas still on. They'd stayed back at a hotel after their date night as per Ellie's request but they'd been long gone even by the time I got to their home yesterday evening.
Flynn gets to his feet and Talia engulfs him in a hug while I glance back at the man in the wheelchair. Even a kid with two working eyes would see that this is Flynn's dad. I see where the siblings' striking resemblance comes from immediately. Dark brown hair, remarkable green eyes and carved cheekbones. He appears paralyzed from his waist down like Flynn had told me on the night we saw The Princess Bride from the back of his truck.
"Oh Jo," Talia smiles when she sees me before hugging me as well. The man's eyes snap to me and there's something slightly intimidating in his posture that makes me look away.
She pulls away and touches my cheeks. "Thank you."
I don't know why she's thanking me but I smile regardless and nod. When I decide to sit back down, I see a small, almost unnoticeable bump beneath her snug top and I let out a little smile.
"Dad," Flynn says and he nods in response.
As I watch their conversation about what happened with Ellie, I notice the slight stiffness in Flynn's body that comes and goes each time his father raises his hand. To be honest, all I can think about is the conversation we had at the lake. When he told me about what really led to his bad shoulder.
It wasn't intentional. He was having an episode. He wasn't in his right mind. Yet, I'm fuming inside because all I can imagine is him pushing Flynn down the stairs in their house.
"And who's she?" I hear a gravelly voice ask and I sit straighter, realizing that I've zoned out before turning my gaze to him.
"Josephine," Flynn responds, smiling genuinely at me. "My girlfriend."
My girlfriend. I'm not going to pretend like those two words didn't just melt my insides but I don't let it show on my face especially not in front of his dad. He looks at me like he's scrutinizing me and I don't know if it's because I'm wearing his son's clothes or he's accessing to be sure I'm good enough for his son but whatever it is, makes me a little nervous.
"It's nice to meet you, Josephine." He says, keeping his voice neutral. It's either my eyes are deceiving me or there's a hint of a smile on his face. I don't know if it's real or fake but I don't fall for it either way.
I keep my expression cool and collected as I accept his handshake. "Nice to meet you too."
"Ellie convinced me to play Cupid by sending you both on those errands together." Talia whispers with a smile in her voice in my ear. I lean back on the chair and try not to cover my face from embarrassment. She is my boss after all. "I'm glad it worked."
After a few minutes, I feel a little uncomfortable and I get to my feet and excuse myself to get some air. I know what's wrong with me but I just don't acknowledge it in front of them. They're having bigger problems right now so I don't bother them with mine.
Flynn holds my hand when I start to leave. "Where are you going?"
"I'm just going to get some air." I smile even though I feel dizzy. "Plus, I'm a little hungry so I can get us both something to eat."
I don't know if he buys it but it seems like he does when he lets go of my hand. Immediately I turn around, a sheen layer of sweat breaks out on my forehead and I quickly head towards the nearest exit. The door leads to a huge, patio like structure and I'm glad it's empty because once I close the door, my insulin pump beeps loudly and I slump to the floor.
I press the button to cease its noise and I take slow breaths while I read the figures displayed on it. 64mg/dL. I'm surprised I hadn't slumped on the way here. I haven't had a low in a while and I grab my phone because I'm too weak to drag myself to a nurse or a doctor. I don't have my glucose gels with me because we'd taken Ellie out of the house in a rush and I was too busy panicking internally to remember that my blood sugar drops tremendously when I'm agitated or scared. I'm at a hospital after all but right now, I'm alone in this patio with nothing but a clawing sense of panic in my throat.
The door opens behind me and I let out a little sigh of relief since someone can notice me and get me something sweet. Or at most, take me to a doctor. When I look to the side, I see Flynn crouching and then pulling me towards him. He's holding a glucose gel and he's ripping it open before placing it in my mouth. He doesn't say anything to me while I suck from the tube but he rests my head against his chest as he feeds it to me.
Once I've taken enough, I slowly pull my mouth away from it and he takes it out. Apart from the distant activity going on and my heavy breathing, it's quiet. It's still cold and it's not as dark as before which means it's probably some minutes past six-thirty or it's almost seven o' clock.
"How'd you know I needed it?" I ask quietly because it's still peaceful out here and I don't want to ruin it by being too loud. I don't even have the strength to be loud.
"I've been in and out of this hospital long enough to know that the snack machine's not outside here."
"Where'd you get the gel?"
"It was in your purse in the car."
I frown. "I thought I left it at your house."
"Well, you didn't. You probably thought you did since we left in a rush."
I take a deep breath and turn my head to the side. "I hope this isn't a burden."
He smiles. "Are you serious? You'd be surprised at the number of books and articles I've read about diabetes ever since that night at Cass's party."
I lift my eyes to his in surprise. I wasn't expecting that at all.
"Hypoglycemia, Hyperglycemia, what could lead to them, the kinds of food you should consume less than others and all of that medical stuff." He says. "Whenever you're around, I keep a bottle of juice in my car just in case. Something about the 15-15 rule, I think."
I think my eyes are slightly teary. "I see it in your car all the time. I thought you were obsessed with it. That's what pulpy goodness is for?" I ask, referring to the name of the juice and he nods.
"Yeah," he says with a frown. "You're crying. Does that upset you?"
"No." I sniff, cleaning my cheeks. My voice still sounds croaky but I don't really care. "I just think you're kind of sweet."
His lips curl. "Kind of?"
"You're sweeter than my glucose gel," I say, lifting the packet up. "And it's pretty sweet."
"I'll take it."
"You'd better."
"How do you feel? It usually takes about 15 to 20 minutes, doesn't it?"
I nod, already feeling better than before. "Most of the time, yes. I'm getting there."
He nods, satisfied with my answer and lowers the hand that was steadying my head to my waist. He pulls me closer until there's no space between us and doesn't say anything else. My ear is against his chest and I can hear his steady heartbeat and it reminds me of the reason why we're here.
"How do you deal with this?" I ask after a few moments of silence and it takes him a little time to answer but he does eventually.
"The first time she had cancer, I was a kid. I didn't understand much but I knew something bad was going to happen to her. I felt like I knew what loss was even when I hadn't lost her yet. When the trials worked and it went on remission, I felt better but there was this anxiety that gnawed me each time I looked at her. And then when it came back, the first thing she said to me at the hospital was, 'You'd better make an awesome speech.'
"I pretended not to hear her obviously because I let myself be in that state of denial that this could be the end. But I joined debate club anyway because I was scared. Most times, I ignore it and deceive myself a little longer but it's hard to do that when she's got a gas tank right by her side every time."
I listen quietly and I don't interrupt him when he speaks and when he's done, I don't say anything for a while. I don't tell him 'it's going to be okay' because it's probably not and I don't tell him 'you're going to be fine' because he probably won't be even if I hope he does. I don't know the best thing to say in this situation so I close my eyes and think about her smile and her beautiful green eyes and her amazing sense of humor and the words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself.
"I'm going to miss her."
He presses his lips to my collarbone and smiles.
"Your dad's a bit intimidating."
He sighs. "At first, he is. He'll warm up to you eventually."
"Does he still get his nightmares?"
"He hasn't in a while," he says thoughtfully. "He's seeing a therapist again. I think he's trying to get better."
Thank God.
When I look round, it's already bright enough and there's movement from some other doors I hadn't noticed that lead to the patio. "We should go inside." I say and he agrees with me before getting to his feet.
I look away from him and grin as he helps me up to my feet. "Your girlfriend, huh?"
He grabs my hand and opens the door. "You've got a problem with that, Josephine?"
"Maybe." I tease as we venture into the corridor. There's more people roaming about now and it's got a little more life than it did at 4 a.m. "You haven't asked me to be yourâ"
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
"Huh?"
He releases my hand and turns to look at me. There are some people looking at us but apparently he doesn't seem to mind because he asks me again. "Would you like to be my girlfriend?"
"We're at the hospital," I whisper, red-faced. "Plus your parents are like few meters away from us and they're looking."
"Is that a yes or a yes?"
A nurse walks past us and gives us a funny look. "Yes but a hospital's not exactly an ideal place to askâ"
He brushes my hair back with his hand and rests his forehead on mine. His thumb drags down my ear to my cheek and that's when he kisses me. It's a short kiss but it seems a lot more intimate compared to the other kisses we've shared. I don't know if it's because we're at the hospital or because I agreed to be his girlfriend or because his sister's in the ER. When he pulls away, I see a doctor walk up to his parents over his shoulder and he turns around as well.
My heart is palpitating as I walk with him towards them because I really don't want to hear the worst right now. I've not said my goodbyes yet. It can't happen now. Amidst my panic-induced anxiety, I hear words like "Her organs are failing... she's going to be on a wheelchair until..."
"We understand." I hear Talia say in response. Their voices are like echoes in my ears and I tune them out while I stare at the doors that lead to the ER. There's barely little time left for her but she's not gone yet. So when I feel Flynn's hand squeezing mine, I tell myself to be happy about that one fact. She's still here even if it's just for a little bit longer.
AN: there's about four to five chapters left. in other words, we're getting closer to the end. thank you beautiful people for sticking around so farâ¤ï¸