Jo
"ARE YOU SURE you have everything you need? You didn't leave anything behind, like tampons or a hairdryer?"
I smile a little and take a look at the activity going on, hoping no one can actually hear my mum drilling me over the phone. "I don't get any more periods until next year."
"Oh," she says, her voice lowering a little. "Okay? How about other forgettable things? Like shampoo or something?"
"Mum, I'm fine. Plus, it's only one night and even if I do need anything, I'm pretty sure I can get it here. Appleton's a pretty big city."
"A mother's allowed to be worried, plus it sounds noisy out there."
I smile, diverting my attention back to Cass and Ellie in front of a booth while they shoot darts at the balloons. "Yes, that's because I'm at a carnival. It is pretty loud."
"Isn't it a little bit cold for a carnival? Outdoor?"
"Mum."
"Fine, alright then." She sighs, reluctantly. "You should go have some fun. Oh and your brother wants to say hi."
Not up to a second later, I hear Drew's gravelly voice taking over hers. "I'm partly convinced mum believes you might try to elope with him after the show."
I laugh at his statement, my breaths coming out in small white puffs. "It's just one night away from town. What's going to happen when I leave for college?"
"She's just being a mum." Drew says. "Plus, you've never exactly had a boyfriend that she knows about so yeah, she's excited but also a little worried."
"She doesn't need to be, though. Besides, it's not bad here."
"Better than the view from Rosie's?"
I nod even though I know he can't see me. "Oh, much better. Way better, in fact. Apparently, the view from Rosie's doesn't do enough justice."
When Flynn showed up with those tickets in his hands, I'd even been more excited than Ellie because I've been dying to see any of the four members of Rage Nation in real life, talk less of having an opportunity to see them perform privately with a few other people. The tickets were mad expensive, but apparently 'mad expensive' doesn't exactly stop Flynn from getting what he wants especially when it relates to his sister. The last few days have gone by so quick and Ellie's time keeps drawing closer, much to our dismay so when the date of the show drew closer, we'd all decided to spend a night at Appleton before attending the show the next day. Fortunately for us, Otis' Uncle has a small cabin by the lake here which he generously offered for us to stay after Otis told him we'd be needing a place to stay instead of booking ridiculously expensive hotels. Especially at this time of the year.
Appleton is a truly beautiful city. The homely infrastructure, the people, the food, the decorations, everything looks so good and I can't stop myself from imagining this, as one of the reasons why my dad left. It does seem like a place for better opportunities but when I'd conveyed my thoughts to Flynn when we got out of the train, he made me understand, in his words, that 'Nothing is worth leaving your family behind for' and I shook the excuses I'd started to make up for him away.
"What's the probability that you might run into him while you're there?"
I sigh and pull the sleeves of Flynn's jacket over my hands because I know he's talking about dad. "Zero, I hope. It's a big city. I shouldn't just run into him like he's standing at any corner or something."
"Even if you do, whatever you say to him should be completely up to you. Not what you think I'd want you to say or what you think mum would want you to say. Just don't let him get to you."
I lick my lips and nod. "Okay."
I look up and see Flynn coming over to me with something in his hands and I smile and wave him over. "I've gotta to go, Drew."
"You're not really going to run away with him, will you?"
I snort and bid him goodbye before slipping my phone into my pocket. It's a beautiful night with confetti hanging between stalls and the twinkling fairly lights among other things, makes it look even more magical. There's a huge Christmas tree right in the middle of the whole carnival and it has to be the biggest Christmas tree I've ever seen, talk less of the burning star right on its peak.
"Hi," Flynn says, once he gets to where I'm standing. "I'm looking for a girl, about this tall, dark curly hair beneath a Christmas hat, a really pretty face? You seen anyone like that around here?"
I hug my jacket tighter around my body and shrug, before looking round. "I don't know, dude. There's a lot of pretty girls out here."
"There's something about this one though."
I fix my lips into a thin line and try not to smile. He's good at this. Me? Not so much. "Why's that?"
"One; she's my girl and two; I just drank the worst combination of flavors to ever exist out of what seemed like a urinal just to get her this." He waves a small white card at my face but my jaw is on the floor.
"A urinal?"
"Not an actual urinal," he laughs. "It was made to look like a urinal. Makes the game much worse."
"Well, did you win?"
He looks at me and smiles. "Fuck yes."
I take the white card from his hands and read the words out loud. "'Winner! Dogs are your number one friends.'" I look up at him and frown. "I'm confused."
He takes my hand and leads us towards away from Cass and Ellie. We walk past Carter who, of course, is doing a really great job with his flirting with some random girl by a kissing booth and Khalid and Amanda who are both trying to beat each other's asses in some complicated-looking game. A couple of giggling kids run past us as we walk and when we get to a particular booth that has two girls and one guy drinking from three urinal-shaped bowls in front of it, he hands his card over to the man standing in front of the booth and he directs us towards the back.
Even though Flynn is tugging me forward, I'm still turning my head and craning my neck to see the competitors at the bowl and one of the two girls takes her head out of it, coughing and laughing alongside the on viewers while whatever it is they're drinking runs down her nose.
I turn to Flynn with a grin as we walk into a large booth. "Did you choke during your turn?"
"If I did, I wouldn't have been able to win that for you."
That's when I hear a bark. I look ahead to where he's pointing and my heart swells with so much emotion that I feel like it might burst out of my chest. A small petting zoo sits right behind a sign that hangs from wall to wall and it consists of about five to six cages with adorable-looking puppies yelping and wagging their tails. My feet instantly propel me forward, but a lady swiftly ushers us towards the left. There, she offers us hand-sanitizers and it's only after we're sanitized, that she allows us duck over the sign and fully enter the zoo.
"We're supposed to pay to pet them," I say, staring at the plaque that says exactly that and digging into my pockets but Flynn pulls me forward and tells me not to worry.
"That ticket was a free pass," he says. "And a free pet."
"Shut up."
"Yes ma'am."
I look round and punch his shoulder. "You're serious?"
He nods. "I am. You pick one of your choice and then we can come pick it up tomorrow before we leave."
Standing here and staring at these insanely cute creatures, I'll never understand how people are able make choices when everything looks so good. Flynn ushers me forward and tells me to hurry up before the next person comes in and after moments of indecisiveness, I crouch in front of a cage that houses a small, half-asleep puppy with golden fur and streaks of brown at the tips of her ears and across her belly. She looks so blissful and reminds me of King and when I run a hand across her incredibly soft fur, she opens her eyes, welcoming me with her enthusiastic bark and licking my hand each time she gets a chance.
"This one," I tell Flynn without looking away and I feel him crouch next to me before reaching for her as well.
"Oh yeah," he agrees. "King does need a girlfriend."
I stroke her fur a few more times and before I know it, the sanitizer lady from earlier informs us that it's time for the next people to come in and reluctantly, I drag my gaze away from the puppyâeven though we'll be back here tomorrowâand trudge behind her to wash our hands at the hand-washing facility.
"Where are we going?" I ask when Flynn pulls me forward again. "I thought we were going to the Ferris wheel."
"I've got something else planned."
My cheeks color as I halt on my feet. "We're on a date?"
"You don't like that idea?"
"NoâI mean, yes but you could have told me. I didn't dress up for a date. I look like I'm going for a Christmas carol."
He comes to stand in front of me and pulls the Christmas hat away from my head. "There. Much better."
I roll my eyes. "Gee, thanks."
"You're welcome, love. Come on." He interlocks his fingers with mine and pulls me forward.
"Remember when Daniel asked me if I wanted to have coffee with him?"
He looks at me with a brow raised. "Yeah?"
"Remember what you told me?"
"Not really."
"You told me not to kiss him on the first date even though it wasn't a date."
He nods. "Uh-huh. I meant it when I said that."
I grin. "Good."
He finally gets the gist of what I'm trying to say and he sighs. "This is different though."
"It's a first date."
"You both weren't together then."
"Still a first date."
"Butâ"
"No buts."
He grumbles but doesn't say anything further as he takes us to what seems to look like another aspect of the carnival. Rows of long wooden chairs and even longer tables are arranged in threes and a similar group of people are sitting there. It looks lively, the decorations are beautiful and they all have some kind of hand-made ornaments made of foliage on the heads of the girls.
A smiling man with a potbelly leaves the merriment and comes towards us with a woman behind him. "Is this the girlfriend?" He asks with an accent I can't decipher.
"Yes." Flynn smiles and the woman beams at us before taking my hand.
"Come sit down." She says and I discreetly look back at Flynn but he smiles and shakes his head. In other words, I'm safe here.
"My name is Ati and that is my husband, Tope. We like to bring tradition everywhere we go." She says, smiling at the festivity going on. "That boy," she continues, cutting a glance at Flynn like I don't already know who she's talking about. "He loves you very much. He came to us toâ" She's cut off when her husband nudges her on the side.
"Self-control, woman." He laughs. "Don't ruin it."
She smiles sheepishly and then we sit on a bench in front of a large table that has other people singing along to the music at the front. There's about four of them upfront, all holding different instruments. The lead singer plays a banjo and raises a chorus while everyone sings along with him.
"That's Feliz Navidad." A white girl sitting next to me says with those same flowers on her head. "In their language. I come here every Christmas just to listen to them."
"Oh," I say, looking forward again and feeling a little bit out of place. That is until a big, steaming plate of food is placed right in front of me. My eyes widen and Flynn laughs when everyone around the table cheers.
"You eat our food," the woman says, dangling the garland in her hands. "You enjoy this even better."
"It's good." Flynn says, urging me to try some. "Trust me."
It smells amazing but it doesn't look like what I've seen before. Still, I grab a fork and when I do, everyone around me drum their fists on the table.
"Come on." Flynn says, joining them to drum their fists in anticipation.
Flushed, I dip the fork into the dish and raise it to my mouth, closing my eyes as I take it into my mouth. They stop drumming as I chew and when I open my eyes, they're watching me for a reaction.
"Well?" The girl next to me asks and I drop the fork on the table because I can't believe what I just tasted.
"It's amazing."
They break out in cheers and I can't even stop myself from laughing at their contagious enthusiasm. They carry on with their activity, telling the funniest stories as I grab the fork again and continue eating. I don't remember when I finished eating or when I snorted because I was laughing too hard or when I started singing along to the music even though I didn't know any of the lyrics but all I remember doing is having fun with these people. And teaming up against Flynn while playing games with them and beating his ass. My favorite is Bana. He was the one with the banjo who eventually came over to join us after his band was done. He's the friendliest and the funniest among the bunch and he's very animated when he talks about his childhood. When Flynn spins me around while we're all dancing, Bana takes his place and dances with me until the music ends.
Ati reaches forward across the table when we sit back down and hands the garland over to Flynn. He turns around and places it on my head and then when they shout kiss and he's a little conflicted after what I told him before coming here, I grab him by the lapel of his coat and kiss him sweetly on his lips.
I can already see a couple of stalls and booths packing up and people leaving which probably signifies that we're coming to the end of the carnival.
"Here." Tope says, placing two glasses of white liquid in front of us. "Some wine before you go."
"It's good wine." Ati says but stops me when I grab the cup. "But don't rush it. You'll get drunk quickly. Slow sips. Like that."
"Oh my god." I say once I taste it. I've tasted so many new things here today that I can almost not remember what regular food tastes like. "This is really good."
"Josephine, that's my recipe." Bana says, beaming proudly and hitting his chest as I give him a thumbs up.
"We've got to go." Flynn whispers in my ear, while showing me a text from Amanda and the others and we get to our feet at the same time.
It almost physically hurts me to leave. We spent roughly two hours here but I've formed the kind of bond that takes weeks with these welcoming people.
"We see you next year?" Bana asks as Flynn wraps his hand around my shoulders and steers us out of the gathering.
"Definitely." I say to him and the others. "Merry Christmas!"
I think I'm floating as we walk away and try to find the others. The ground looks like it's moving. That's probably why I'm skipping or maybe I drank too much of Bana's wine and now I'm tipsy.
"That was incredible." I hiccup as we move forward. I stumble a little and Flynn holds my waist to keep me steady. "Best day of my life."
"How many glasses did you take?"
"Um, one?"
He doesn't look convinced. "I finished your glass when you weren't looking but does that count?"
"Get on my back." He says and I don't even argue. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up with little to no effort at all. I gush about him in my drunken state and kiss him repeatedly on the neck and though he tells me to shut up, he's a blushing mess.
I love you. Those words hang loosely at the tip of my tongue, ready to fall off but I'm drunk and not completely in my right mind so I don't say it.
"We've been looking everywhere for you both." Cass says as she wheels Ellie forward. Her Christmas hat is lopsided and she's with a lot of stuffed animals and gifts and that tells me she won a lot of games.
"We went on a date." I say to no one in particular and Khalid touches my forehead. I slap his hand away and he laughs.
"At the liquor store? Why do you look drunk?"
"I already called an Uber. He'll be here any minute from now." Amanda says and Carter pretty much ignores us as he smiles while texting on his phone. I have no doubt that it's the girl from earlier.
There's chatter everywhere as people exit the carnival and Ellie explains how two guys lost to her at a game in the span of thirty seconds. Flynn drops me and even while I stand and listen to Ellie's story while we wait, I wrap my arms around him anyway.
A car pulls up to us at the sidewalk and we file in with Ellie at the front and the rest of us at the backseats.
I rest my head on Flynn's shoulder when the driver speaks.
"Alright. All set?"
I freeze once I hear that voice. The tipsiness I'd been feeling earlier, leaves as quickly as possible. It feels like a thousand blocks hit me square on the chest. My head jerks away from Flynn's shoulder and he looks at me with a frown.
"You okay?"
I'm not. I'm staring at the man as he adjusts his mirror to see everyone at the back. Maybe it's just someone who looks like him. A doppelgänger. I read about that a lot in stories. But this isn't a story. He meets my eye in the mirror and his face pales. So I'm not seeing things? This is happening?
"Jo, you alright?" Amanda asks me and then lifts her chin towards him. "You know this guy?"
"What's the probability that you might run into him while you're there?"
I don't know whether to cry or laugh as I nod. "Yes. That's my father."
AN: i mean, technically it's a story?