"You say it like I don't already know." I grumbled to her.
She only giggled. "He's a terrible teacher anyway. You're lucky you get tutoring."
It was true. Without tutoring a month ago I would be clueless with absolutely everything he tried to teach us. "Well," I said, opening back up the biology notebook and taking a gulp of her nasty coffee. "Let's get to it."
...
"You never want to go out and eat with us, Dye." My brother, Chris, complained.
"Because I'm tired." I said boredly.
"Well plan something out when you're not tired because this is annoying."
"How can you have so much time on your hands?" I asked in envy. He was a psychologist. One in training. He was a genious, who gets everything right the first time. My brothers were perfect, and everyone loved them. I was just waiting for the gene to be passed down to me.
Chris shrugged. "Getting things done is easy, it just takes patience."
I only nodded at him and didn't feel the need to elaborate on my feelings towards his works. I had patience. But I knew someone who didn't, and he was the man who almost dropped me off at my home.
I would be staying in that same classroom again, and it made me kind of nervous. I didn't want to stay, of course. I never wanted to... But there was something different, and something wrong about him. It was a turn around from the first time he layed his hard and mean eyes on me. It was a complete turn around.
Mr. Grant. Charlie Grant. I could live with calling him Charlie, I actually liked it.
When I woke up the next morning I went down and picked up a coffee for the librarian down by the public library. I borrowed the classic Delta of Venus and Alexa smirked at me, handing me a paper cover so I could sneakily get away with reading it around class. "Thanks Al." I said and she shot me a wink.
I went to school and got there right on time. I forgot my history notes in my locker and my teacher was allowing me to get them. I tried to make the trip quick, fearing I would miss any important or interesting things my teacher was calling out. I like history, I had a lot of fun people in there who actually participated.
I got lost in the words of my book as I walked to my locker, not knowing how to feel about it and that crudely sexual book. An intense moment that brought the heat right to my cheeks. I didn't look up and bumped into a wall that stood in the middle of the empty hallway.
Only, it wasn't a wall. I looked up in shock and jumped when I saw Mr. Grant, automatically closing my book by instinct. "Oh god..." I breathed out. "You scared me." I muttered quietly, almost to myself.
He looked at me suspiciously, the creasing on his forhead visible. "People only get scared when caught doing something they shouldn't be." He said lowly.
I breathed carefully, trying not to clutch the book so tight. "Yeah, I was scared because you caught me reading a book." I said with irony and his eyes narrowed angrily, but he seemed to give up and go calm. I was mostly freaked out because I didn't even expect him around. But the book was also part of it...
"You're face is also very flushed." He observed, his hand coming close to my cheek but I took a step back.
My heart thumped in both confusion and worry. The bits and pieces of the short stories in the book began to consume me and I only felt embarrassed. Then there was the fact that Mr. Grant was about to touch me.
"Okay." Was all I said and I went around him to get to my locker, suddenly becoming nervous and awkward.
"Why aren't you in class?" He asked boredly, leaning against his classroom door frame on the other side of the hallway.
"I forgot some notes."
"How irresponsible of you."
My locker flew open and I pressed my hands to my face, breathing in and trying to calm myself. Why was he such a jerk? I flipped through my folder, feeling his stares and I went through my papers. "Screw it." I muttered quietly and snatched my folder, shutting my locker and turned to leave.
"See you in eigth, Diana." He said, almost... almost in a teasing way.
"See you, Charlie." I mischievously said back, surprised at my own tone and I knew he was too. I didn't turn around though. I was tired of that.
When I got back there was a heated debate on evolution and I let out a loud laugh, causing them all to look up at me. "I'm pretty sure this is history, not philosophy." I said with a chuckle.
My teacher laughed. "Yes, yes, I'm not supposed to get into any of these conversations. My job is to teach you what the board tells me to."
The students laughed and I turned in my notes. My teacher didn't scold me, she thanked me. Because like most teachers to her I was a favorite.
The rest of my classes were like history, fun but short-seeming, when in reality, eigth period was the shortest period of them all. It was only 55 minutes long while classes in the middle were an hour and a half. I certainly didn't mind that either, but no matter how short reality makes Mr. Grant's class, it will always feel like eternity.
And that was why it felt as if my classes skipped too easily and soon I was behind that same desk again, the one beside the door and faced a handsome and peculiar man.
He spoke about whatever it was, because for the first time I didn't really want to pay attention. I mindlessly sketched in my math notebook and found myself drawing the attractive teacher who rolled up his sleeves, cross his arms and looked out to the class of teenagers, then continued with his lecture.
After eternity was up, I knew I had to stay in my seat so I did, perfecting the drawing of him and wanting to add color to it.
"Diana, did you get done with the class work I handed out today?" He asked with his deep voice in an almost knowing tone. That man knew I didn't finish it.
I shook my head.
"Why not."
"I wasn't paying attention."
I heard his frustrated sigh as he stood up to sit down by me. He looked over my shoulder and I didn't bother to cover up how it was him I was drawing. "Why are you drawing me?" He demanded.
Because you're so handsome. "Because you're so handsome."
Oh, wow I said that out loud.
His eyes widened and he looked confused, almost flinching back at my honest answer. "Don't worry, don't worry." I told him, as if what I just said wasn't a big deal. "I'm not making you take it, I'll throw it away if you want me to. I was just bored."
"Bored." He asked, seeming to barely recover. "Glad to hear how calculus bores you." He seemed to grow uncomfortable and it made me wonder if what I said could be considered as... as hitting on him? No, I hope not because I didn't meant to say it. It just slipped out.
"No, it excites me." I said, but didn't meant to sound so... so husky and... I didn't mean to make myself sound suddenly so much older than I was and I still continued to darken his eye lashes on the paper.
It was the damn book. That sexual book that turned me into someone else. No, Not someone else, but brought out my inner rebel. Mostly heated and irritable.
So many terrible scenrios!
"Uh, oh-okay." He said, scratching his head at my sudden tone, not knowing how to react. I couldn't blame him. I was heating my own face up. "Well, are you done?" He asked impatiently.
"No."
"Well put it up anyway."
I sighed and ripped it out of the notebook, about to ball it up when he snatched it from me, holding it in front of him to admire it. "Don't throw it." He said with furrowed brows. "I like it." He said quietly, almost grumpily. Like it was embarrassing that he liked it.
He said he liked it. He liked the drawing of himself looking up and to the side with his arms crossed and his sleeves rolled.
"Thanks." I told him back, but he didn't look at me. He reached under the desk he sat at and dropped down the textbook. I was so thankful in that moment that we were back to actual tutoring.
"Alright." He said lowly and I shifted myself over to face him and brushed off my skirt to cross my legs. It made me notice how he came to me that time.
I bit my nail in wonder to how he suddenly began to change. He almost touched my face just hours ago. He was sitting by me and not glaring at me. He spoke to me like I was an actual human being.
"Pay attention." He growled, leaning into me almost by my ear.
I jumped and shook my head, wondering why I was so out of it. "Why are you so out if it?" He grumbled, reading my mind.
"I-I'm not." I said back quietly.
"Then pay attention."
I nodded and watched him push the desk he sat at to mine and he slipped the work I was supposed to complete in front of my face.
He then went on explaining the problems most people had trouble with and what they did wrong. I was writing down, trying to figure our the problem as he spoke and got the answer before he told me, making him furrow his eyebrows because I knew I had impressed him. I wasn't proud either, because it meant he underestimated me.
He went on, reaching over my desk to write things down on my paper making me observe how he had such nice handwriting. When he went on explaining, his phone rang loudly and he dropped his pen in front of me. "Work the back page." He said, standing up and looking annoyed when he went to his desk answer his phone.
I shifted my legs and lifted them over to rest on his desk chair, making sure my skirt was covering as well as it could, and I worked the problems easily. When I was done I stared at my pen and listened to his conversation, then seeing he was facing the window. "I have the documents, if you want me to send them." He said, sounding better than he's ever sounded before. He sounded normal. So normal. "Alright, hold on, man."
Oh my god, does he have friends?
The thought made me want to laugh but I bit my innocent lip and held back the sudden urge. I crossed one leg over the other on the other chair and blew my hair out of my face tiredly. I hadn't been doing much lately anyway, so it didn't make sense.
"Ah, actually I can't, I tutor after school." He said, typing quickly on his computer while holding his phone to his ear and listening to whatever his friend was saying. "...Yeah sure. I'm not...- Well I have a lot of papers to grade." He spoke distractedly and I watched as he rubbed his jaw. His eyes flicked up at me and narrowed, seeing his seat was taken over by my legs. "Sorry. Tell the guys I said sorry." He said, not sounding very sorry.
Maybe he was gay?
That sudden thought automatically made me much more comfortably around him. He sighed on his phone and said his good-bye, sitting down in his rolling chair and tossing his phone on his desk carelessly.
I waited for him but he shook his head at me. "Come here."
I didn't argue and dropped my legs, taking my pencil and paper and grabbing his pen for him and sitting down beside him.
He looked over the back page of my finished work and it made me rethink his entire conversation. "You know, you don't have to tutor me everyday." I said.
His eyes looked from my paper to me and I was reminded of how warm they looked under such natural lighting. "If you're trying to get out of it-"
"I'm not, I mean... If you want to go out with your friends." I said casually. "And you did tell me you never do anything anyway."
"Maybe I like that." He grumbled back and focused his sight back onto my paper, slapping it down and sliding it to me.
"Mr. Grant, are you anti-social?" I asked.
He stared at me for a while and I felt myself getting uncomfortable. "You're changing." He suddenly said.
"I'm not changing, you're just making it easier to talk to you." I said in honesty.
"Maybe I should change that." He grumbled.
I resisted pouting at how rude he was and only sighed. "Fine, I won't talk anymore." I said, trying not to sound offended, but I knew it slipped out.
He continued looking at me for a little longer, then went to his paper and we went on with tutoring. I kept my promise and stopped talking, only nodding and asking questions when I needed to.
While I did some extra problems he slid his chair back to his computer and typed quickly.
"You're friends with that Connor guy, right?"
I looked up. "Yes, why?"
He pulled open a drawer at the very bottom and pulled out... He pulled out a condom. "He left this in my class." He grumbled, tossing it over to me.
I let out a laugh, seeing it was typical Connor. "I don't want it." I said. "My brothers would interrogate me for hours if they saw me with a flavored condom." I said innocently. In all truth I did have some stored away in my underwear drawer, though not flavored, somewhere no one would look because first of all they barely every went in my room... And second, they barely ever went up stairs. I'll admit I never touched them, because I didn't sleep around with guys.
"I don't want to give it to him." He said.
"Keep it, then?" I suggested in confusion.
He glared at me and I didn't laugh, but I wanted to. "Well if you insist." I joked, taking it and looking down at myself for a pocket. But I didn't have any.
"Nevermind." He huffed, snatching it from me and throwing it back in the drawer.
I raised my hands in surrender and pretended like the conversation we just had wasn't awkward at all.
The room turned silent and I only heard the scribbling of my pencil on paper, working out problems while I danced my fingers on the calculator beside me.
My stomach rumbled, and at first I thought it was my phone but then I realized it was me after feeling the miserable vibrations of emptiness. Charlie looked at me and sighed. "Let's take a break." He said.
I dropped my pencil immediately, thinking, oh thank god.
He continued to type on his computer, sending and checking emails. When he was finished he slid back, sticking a key in his giant cabinet and opened it, revealing a minifridge and he pulled it open, tossing me and apple.
I caught it and showed a small smile. "Aw, thanks." I said quietly and breathed on it, rubbing it on the side of my skirt and biting into it.
Was it weird that he was suddenly nice enough to give me food? I was his student, so of course he did. He had to care for me, he couldn't allow me to starve.
"Do you not eat or something?" He asked distractedly, looking through files and setting them to the side.
"No, I eat." I said. But I forgot that day because I was lost in the pages of Nin Anais's short stories that were filled with lust and violence. So much lust...
"Why are you turning red again?" He asked.
Oh no. The thoughts of the book ran into my mind again and I shook my head shyly at him. "I'm not, I'm-"
"Did you not eat today?"
"I-"
"Why not?" He asked, scooting his chair closer.
I was able to shoot the thoughts back out of my dirty mind and shrugged casually. "You do know you're not allowed to leave the campus, right?"
I looked at him in question. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm assuming you missed lunch because of someone else." He said bluntly.
I blushed even harder. What did he think of me? "No." I said nervously. "Andy is on a business trip in California." I said.
He looked at me funny. "Then why do you look like you've done something wrong?"
I haven't, I'm just thinking something wrong.
"Maybe it's the fact that you obviously think lowly of me." I shot angrily, continuing to eat the apple and holding back the rest of my attitude.
He looked back at me in shock. "I don't." He said, and I scoffed.
"Sure. Your thoughts automatically go to me being with Andy when I'm not like that."
"I never said you were-"
"Yes you did." I reminded him.
He sighed and I avoided eye contact with him in a supiorior way, but felt his sudden stare. "I'm sorry, Diana." Did he really apologize again? What was happening to the grumpy man who hated me so much?
"I forgive you." I said passively, as if my feelings weren't hurt.
It was like he knew though, because when he got closer he kept talking. "I'm serious."
"I know."
"You still look upset." He observed.
Did he care? Was that why he asked? Oh god, my face was getting warm again. "I'm not. I just don't understand why you had to freak out so much over it." I said simply.
He got quiet this time, as if he didn't know what to say. "Well it freaked me out."
"It freaked you out?" I finally looked at him.
"I guess."
"Why?"
"Maybe because you're one of those students who looks like they couldn't ever do anything wrong."
I suddenly laughed and his face kind of fell. "I'm not taking this as a good sign." He said plainly, almost in amusement.
I tried to stop laughing and shook my head. "No, it's just funny." I said.
"Why?"
"Because I have long ways to go until I hit perfection." I said, and realized how serious it was and stopped laughing. Realizing my brothers were what my father probably wanted me to be. But my father was gone, and my brothers didn't believe in him.
Mr. Grant sensed my sudden somberness and cleared his throat. "Uh, perfection?"
"Ah, nevermind." I said in embarrassment.
"Why aim for the impossible?" He asked, making me wonder if he was concerned.
I just shook my head. "I didn't mean to say that."
Suddenly I felt something warm on my leg and I flinched, realizing for a split second it was his hand. He had just touched me, and then pulled back immediately as if realizing it was wrong. "You're human, Diana." He told me awkwardly, looking away from me. "And a teenager, so it's okay to act like one."
I almost breathed out in relief when his phone rang again, saving me from an awkward response. But in all honesty, it was one of the nicest things he ever said to me.
He cleared his throat again and answered his phone. "Hello," His dark voice grumbled. "Yeah, did you get it?" He clicked his pen and wove it through his fingers.
How does he do that?
"...Oh right, the second copy was the price range for seats." He said and his face got angry as he listened to the other line, the one I couldn't hear. "If she's coming then I'm not." He grumbled.
I started to get lost in my own thoughts, memories of the book scenes. The sudden feel of Mr. Grant putting his hand on my leg... I shivered at the reminder. He touched me. He almost touched me earlier that day too. What was happening to the evil and scary man I once knew him to be?
Then he gave me food and basically told me it was okay for me to make mistakes? "Alright, bye." He hung up his phone and snapped his fingers in front of my face, making me jump, "I'm guessing we should wrap it up since you're off in your own world."
"Alright." I agreed and grabbed all my things.
He opened the door for me like usual and I walked out, having him beside me when I went outside and the breeze hit me, making me take a step back into him, accidentally stabbing him with my elbow. He grunted and held my arm. "Sorry..." I said as the breeze his harder, forcing me to hold down my skirt and groan.
He shook his head at me. "Why would you wear that in this weather?" He asked me like I was dumb.
I looked at him as we parted ways to our cars. "I'm a teenager, I make mistakes."
And when he walked away I could've sworn. I could've sworn I saw the faintest smile on his lips.