Hey readers. Sorry I almost forgot to upload... This has just been a terribly crazy week full of the new internship I'm in and the load of exams I have coming up. I'm so stressed, and I currently hate my procrastination. There's also the fact that off season XC is kicking my ass. I'm sore, tired, stressed, and have a killer headache.
Please enjoy the new chapter.
- cilla
I thought that I would be the first to wake up that morning, but it turned out that I was the last, having James and Bailey attack me like little boys, startling me in my sleep.
I groaned sleepily and covered my face with my arms. I heard Austin's laugh and realized he and everybody else was at the door of the guestroom. Cole had gone to Connor's in the middle of the night. He took Tyler's car. "You and Chance have a lot in common," He told me. "You're both not morning people. James, I think you have competition."
James who was lying next to me face down in the covers flipped himself over and turned his head to me. "Diana would never choose an old man over me."
I laughed at him and the guys laughed at me laughing. "I'm not old." Mr. Grant- oh shit, Charlie, grumbled.
"Come on, we're going over to Austin's to eat breakfast." Bailey said, nudging my side, making me groan again.
They stood up and waited for me. "I would get up but I'm kind of not dressed." I said with a yawn.
"We're out." They immediately walked out the door and I exited them with a laugh.
But it died down after I realized it was Saturday. And he's still here.
I hopped out of bed and got in the shower, trying to relieve my stress and whatever sudden sexual frustrations that had been attacking me. Then while I began to wonder what else would happen I realized that prick still had my book.
"Ugh" I groaned painfully and stepped out to change.
I felt like I needed to look good, so I didn't touch my hair for the sake of my wet curls and I wore a casual dress. Why did I feel like I had to look good? God, I knew. I knew it was his doing.
When I finished getting ready I grabbed my phone, texting Andy a short good morning then saying I couldn't go out just yet because I was with my brothers.
"Diana, are you coming?" I heard Bailey shout from downstairs.
I went down stairs and tried to look awake, but a yawn overcame me and James laughed at me, ruffling my damp hair.
I ran a hand through it to fix my hair and waited for someone to say something. "Get to know Chance, go with him." Chris said passively.
"I can take myself." I said plainly.
"Carpool and save the earth." He replied, rushing out of there with everyone else.
I looked at Charlie, who rubbed his head angrily. I could tell he was not in a good mood. Or said as, he was back looking like his old self. "Come on." He grumbled and we headed out the door. I watched as he turned around and locked the door and I watched him in shock.
"You have a key? To my house?" I asked in borderline anger, shaking my head and turning away. "Sure, let's just hand out a key to everyone." I said in irritation
He said nothing and instead ruffled my hair like James did as he walked past me. I brushed through it with my fingers and followed him to his car, feeling flattered at the strange and sudden intamacy. Confused as well.
He stood there at the driver's door and for a split second I watched as the sun poked from behind him, peaking over in jealousy just to look at the gorgeous, tall man who stood before me. His brown hair turned golden and so did his eyes. His face was no longer of importance in that moment, but his eyes were see-through and the lonesomeness of his life called out faintly, the orange sky mimicking his feeling and the clouds seemed to fly away, leaving just the open blue and the sun.
I took a breath and tightening the jacket I was smart enough to bring and the chilliness of the air hit my nose as he unlocked the car door. I slipped in and shivered away the cold.
Before he started driving he stared ahead of himself, hands gripped on the steering wheel. "Does it make you uncomfortable that I'm here?" He suddenly said, leaving me speechless.
Was I? Sure I was, but... "It's weird." Was all I said.
"I had no idea." He said quietly, looking out and up at the sky that reflected in his eyes, the orange of the sunrise causing his eyes to heat up and look warmer. I shivered again.
"I figured. How long have you been friends with them?" I asked calmly.
He looked at me finally, and his caramel eyes seemed to take me in and I didn't mind the slightest. "A while." It was just as quiet. "I'm serious, Diana, if it makes you uncomfortable I won't come by anymore."
I suddenly became confused and shook my head, "Since when do you care about making me uncomfortable?" I asked boldly, making him go quieter.
He tapped the wheel and stared ahead of himself with a very concentrated expression. "You don't have to answer that." I said in the same quietly joking tone, but of course I wanted him to answer. I wanted completely to know why on the earth he suddenly cared.
"I'm tired, so don't mind me." He grumbled lowly.
I sighed again in a hopeless way. "There you go again..." I said almost to myself.
"What?" He snapped.
"Nothing, when are you gonna start driving?"
"When ever I figure out what I want to say."
"You don't have to say anything."
"Just- Shh." He rubbed his hands over his face in an exhausted way. "I shouldn't have been drunk last night, I'm sorry."
I leaned my cheek on my hand to hold in all confusion, because I had been doing that so many times lately. "Why are you apologizing to me?"
He slid his hands off, leaning back in his chair and kind of glared an annoyed glare at me, but it was more embarrassed than anything. "You know why."
I blushed under his glare and looked away. Yes, he obviously remembered. I tried telling myself over and over that it was some weird illusion, a dream of the lonely girl who missed another man other than her father. I told myself I missed Andy, when we weren't even that close. I did miss him, though.
Somehow it disappointed me, the fact that he remembered and he regretted everything that he did the previous night. "You're sorry?"
"Yes, I'm sorry." He said, his temper seeming to shorten by the second.
The small silence between us almost gave me the ticket to go ahead out of that car and drive myself, but I had to say something. "Don't be."
He looked up from the steering wheel and looked at me in question. "Well, let's get going. Or do I have to drive myself?" I asked casually.
He recovered from confusion and sat up, grabbing a hold of the wheel and driving us there carefully. It was actually extrememly annoying at how he followed the speed limit the entire time.
I knew I should have driven myself...
Finally at Austin's large and beautiful house I stared inside the car, not wanting to leave the comfort of protection from the rest of my family. Everyone who thought I thought I was too good for them, when in reality I just wanted to wait for my dad to come home.
I barely noticed when Charlie unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door to get out, but looked at me and shut it again. I was too busy staring up at my brother's home to pay attention.
"Diana?"
I looked at him, completely taken by his voice. It turned so barely gentle, I could tell the slight change in his tone when he looked at me. "Are you-" He caught himself, as if thinking about what he was about to say was bad. As if he was about to ask how I was. If I was okay. "Are you coming in?" He asked instead.
I nodded, trying to shake off my disappointment. He had been making me feel a lot of random things lately.
...
"Leaving so soon?" Janette, Austin's sweet wife, asked as she caught Charlie trying to slip outside.
"Yeah, I have a lot of things to take care of." He said, sounding like he wasn't lying. But I knew he never had anything to do. Or did I?
I didn't know him at all. He lied to me about having a meeting, about having friends for some strange reason. Maybe he was lying to me about not having a girlfriend too.
Why did that bother me?
Because I was attracted to him. It was some silly feeling, as if I fawned over a celebrity who always had someone else, who didn't know I was alive. That thought helped my mind out of the gutter and I focused on other things. Like the fact that my brother's baby daughter wouldn't stop staring at me.
"Well it was nice having you over again, Chance." She said politely.
"It was nice to be over." He gave her a nod.
"Wait!" Austin stopped him and looked to me. "Diana, did you want to go home? Chance is that okay? It's on the way, right?"
"Uh, yeah that's fine." He said, lingering at the door and looking at me without emotion, which was a new expression.
One I learned I hated the most. When I saw nothing and his eyes lost all warmth. Where it was like he didn't know or care who I was at all. "I'm gonna stay." I said. "Thanks for bringing me, though."
"No problem." He said passively, throwing a wave at everybody else as they said their 'see you later''s and he was gone.
I turned to the beautiful little girl who sat in a chair and looking at her big blue eyes made me feel like I was looking in a mirror. This girl and I were definetly related.
"I'm glad you stayed." Janette said after a few hours of catching up.
"Yeah, me too." I told her, seeming to make her frown.
"Are you happy in that big and empty house of yours?" She asked, making me understand what the entire dramatic seperation and sad looks were about. They felt sorry for me.
"Yes, I'm very happy." I knew then when I said it, that I had to stop allowing them in my house. Their worry hadn't shown until I understood that was what it was and I couldn't stand it, so when I left and detected the tired looks on their faces, and it made sense. They stayed in my house, brought their friendly friends over, acted like real brothers, and kept a tight eye on me. I had to stay in the shadows unless I wanted them to continue with their painful sympathy.
"Thanks for everything, guys." I told them, James taking me home.
When I was home I turned off my phone and layed on my bed, over the sheets and reminded myself how wrong the entire Friday felt. How that entire week was just a huge mistake. My brothers should not have been acting like brothers. They should've been acting like strangers, coming by my house only to check on my paid bills. They should be acting like distant adults who barely acknowledged me when I walked past them. Who scolded me for the most ridiculous things.
And Mr. Grant? He should just be Mr. Grant, not Charlie. He should not have been standing in my room, intoxicated and lusty from alcohol. That man should not have touched me like he did, and most of all, I shouldn't have liked it.
I shouldn't have returned everything he did and he should hate me like he once did before.
He shouldn't have my book.
Hadn't I already had this conversation with myself? Had I not decided before that I would stop being some other person? It needed to stop, because I found myself eating lunch with my teacher and telling him I temporarily ran away to the beach because I felt alone. That was over.
I forbade it.
...
At home I was alone, lying on the carpet again with wet hair because I needed to be staring up at the ceiling, but still have vision to the beauty outside.
My phone rang and I was about to ignore it, but it was Connor and I had some feeling that it was important.
"Hey." I answered.
"Is Erin with you?"
I sat up immediately and felt my heart beat quicken. "No, is she not at her house?"
"She's not anywhere, I can't find her."
"Where are you?" I asked quickly.
"Her place."
"I'll be right there."
Within ten minutes I was in her livingroom with Connor, watching as the cleaning people picked up after the party goers, who were no longer there. "None of them have seen her?" I asked Connor and he rubbed his head, looking hungover and as stressed as I felt.
"No, I already asked. They're worried too."
"Should I call her father?" I suggested.
"Not yet, we have to look around first. And if we don't find her we should wait, I'm sure she'll turn up soon."
I hated the idea right away. How could he expect me to not look for her when she was lost and probably in trouble? Or unconcious?
"It'll be fine, Diana." He assured me as we both stood in the living room, the vaccuums filling our stressed ears and people scrubbing the floor on their knees.
"Where should we look first?" I asked.
And we searched, getting in the car and not having anywhere specific other than Grimaldi's pizzaria and Froggs crepery and coffee. She wasn't anywhere else, so I called some people who were at the party, but gave up since they wouldn't exactly stay on topic of Erin, and instead went on about how 'nice' it was to have me come to a party for once.
I dumped that responsibility on Connor and he called everybody.
When we spent all day calling people and waiting in Erin's house we decided to spend the night there, in case she came by.
She didn't.
"Connor, what if she's hurt?"
"Think about it, she disappears all the time and is usually out with a random guy."
"But she's never gone for an entire day." I argued back.
"She's fine. I'm sure she is, we'll just wait, go to sleep."
I couldn't go to sleep. I was sitting on her bed and thinking of all the places we've checked, and haven't found her anywhere. I rethought and wondered of all the places we didn't check, but I couldn't think of any. She didn't have a specific boyfriend, she didn't have anyone I knew about so I sat there confused and feeling hopeless.
"You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you here!" That was the last time I saw her, and for the rest of the night I stayed in the garage and she was who-knows-where.
I didn't sleep at all that night, and instead was rethinking everything that happened, beginning from Erin, to my brothers, to Ch-... Mr. Grant, then back to Erin... All while I heard Connor's relaxed snoring on the floor of Erin's room. Then I wondered why he like her floor so much.
I stayed up all until I realized I had fallen asleep, sitting up with my cheek on my knees. It was around eight in the morning.
"Connor?" I said quietly and looked over to see him just waking up. He groaned in response. "Do you know when her parents are supposed to come back?"
"I'm pretty sure it's tomorrow..." He said groggily.
It made me extremely disappointed that she still wasn't home and I sighed, wanting to go home but still waiting until it was at least twelve.
Connor and I walked down her spiral of stairs and I said goodmorning to her cook. "Erin hasn't come by today at all?" I asked him.
"Not that I know of." He said, seeming to be equally worried. "Have you talked to Mr. Norman?" He asked.
I shook my head, because I hadn't yet called Erin's father. But I desperately wanted to, and know he wouldn't be happy if I called anyway. He accepted me and all, but he was just a focused man who liked only his wife. Poor Erin barely ever spent time with him because of that.
"I'm gonna do that now."
"Diana, don't bother him-" Connor began.
"Shut up." I said, finding Aurbey Norman on my phone and pressing the dial button, waiting for him to answer.
I became impatient after the third ring and when he didn't answer I groaned to myself, leaving him a message to call me back. "He didn't want to talk to you." Connor said.
"If he didn't want to talk he would've just ignored me, he isn't the most polite of people." I snapped, feeling exhausted.
"Sit down, I'll make you two breakfast." The cook said.
"Thank you, but I'm not feeling well right now." I told him.
"I'll have an omlet." Connor said.
We all waited up until twelve and some of the workers went home. When I walked out to my car, I stared at the lawn. Tire marks were everywhere, and Erin's car was still there. The fear built up in my chest and my worry outgrew my headache.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Diana." Connor said.
"Bye, call me if you hear anything." I said to both Connor and the chef and workers.
But going home helped nothing and Connor and I decided to go out looking again. We spent all day, driving around, walking around, and even stopping by a few of her ex-'friends' houses. None of them knew where she was.
It got to the point to where Connor and I where just tired and we went to my house, collapsing onto my bed. "I'm scared." He admitted honestly.
"I'm calling her dad again." I said, this time getting no rings and only a voice message. "His phone is off." I said miserably.
"She'll show, she will." Connor said to me and himself, slipping onto the floor and rubbing his head.
After not being able to sleep at all that night he went home and got ready for school while I did the same. We both met eachother at my locker and he had bags under his eyes. "Diana, your eyes look so tired."
I sighed, hoping I didn't look as bad as he did. He handed me a coffee and leaned against my locker while I faced him. "Yours do too. Thanks for the coffee."
"Thanks for letting me spend the night. I would've gotten drunk or something if I was home alone."
I chuckled quietly, but feeling how tired it sounded.
"Hey," Connor slapped his hand over my shoulder in a friendly way. "If she's not back by lunch time, we'll go back to her house and check again."
I nodded, leaning in to give him a hug, one that shocked him since I was never really much of a sentimental or touchy person. He hugged me back, sharing the same worry I had.
"Woah, hey." Cole's voice spoke and I leaned away from Connor, looking at Cole. "Haven't found her yet?" He asked.
"No." I sighed, and Connor shook his head.
"Damn, you both look like shit." He said.
"I'm aware." I said back, having Connor move back so I could get to my locker.
"It's kind of strange how Mr. Grant doesn't pace the halls anymore, isn't it?" Connor said tiredly, looking out across to Mr. Grant, who I took the risk in looking at and seeing him leaning against his door with a cup in his hand, eyes meeting with mine immediately.
I did nothing and instead grabbed my things for my first period and shut my locker. "I'm just gonna head to first early." I said, walking past the guys and to art.
I heard Cole behind me, asking if I was okay.
Then I asked myself if I was okay, but then I didn't know the answer. I just wanted to know where Erin was.