*** READ THIS SHIT. **
HELLO AGAIN this is Priscilla here, in 2019 wanting to address something real quick.
So far in this novel- Diana has made no commitments to anyone. Not Andy. Not Charlie. I know as an author I'm supposed to allow those of you reading to make up your own minds about the characters and think what you want, but it sickens me to see that calling a woman(even if she is non existant) a whore is so common within you girls.
How on earth do we expect to be treated equally if we allow these things to happen? Charlie calling her that is not okay. Anyone saying that to ANYONE is never okay. This is evident throughout the story that a young girl is struggling with her identity and loneliness, and this story reflects myself in so many ways, so it kills me to see the repeated usage of female slander in the comments that I can no longer find joy in reading them anymore.
I'm not saying you guys should stop having opinions, rather I'd advise those of you who use this language regularly to rethink it, and ask yourself how on earth this is beneficial to anybody.
- cilla, again.
Then Andy dropped me off back at home he told me he was sorry he couldn't make things better. In admiration and shock I told him it wasn't his doing at all.
That was when he held my hand and said, "It's not yours either."
I liked him more.
I got through school of course, but when tutoring came by Charlie stopped me short. "What's going on?"
I held in a frustrated huff at how it was the billionth time I heard it from someone.
"Nothing." I answered as if it was pointlessly stupid question.
He sat at his desk and nodded to me. "Come here."
It still had the same affect on me, and I was convinced it always would. I refused either way and he stood up in irritation. "Diana, your grades have dropped completely."
"It's been one week, it's probably just work they haven't put in the gradebook."
"It's not that simple, I would know. I'm a teacher." He growled. "And in here I can especially tell how you're suddenly never focused."
I said nothing and instead turned to leave. "Don't walk away from me, I'm not done talking to you." He said, but I was already out the door and heading outside.
A guilt never left me when I thought about his confused face. It wasn't his fault, but it wasn't mine either. That's why I stuck with saying nothing to him. That was actually how my week went, and by the end of it, I had a C in every class.
I was scared. When had it gotten this bad? When had I stopped caring?
Those nights I'd do what I could to catch up, but things went by too fast. There was too much on my mind, and Mr. Grant gave up on trying to talk to me after I told him I didn't have time for tutoring. Or at least that's what I thought.
The next week was when things cleared up, and I was angier than ever.
And all because Erin woke up.
"She's awake." Erin's mom sounded furious.
"Is she alright?" I asked in panic that Wednesday during lunch, walking in K-hall for privacy.
"Yes." Her teeth seemed to grind over the phone and I was so confused.
"How is she breathing? What did the doctors say?"
"She's perfectly fine." My heart dropped in relief at her words and tears threatened to spill. "They never gave her the wrong medication." She said in tears of relief.
Her both in relief in anger, and I was perplexed at her moods. "What... what do you mean?" I asked when leaning comfortably against the center of lockers.
I heard as she took in a shakey breath and I leaned forward into myself because the suspense tricked me into believing it would make her speed up.
"They lied to us."
"I don't understand."
"She was fine this entire time, Diana! They got the tests mixed up with someone else!" She seemed to shout into the phone.
Anger fused through me as well. How could they be so stupid. How on earth could you tell the wrong person such terrible news and just pull the rug from beneath us. I was so thankful at the same time. Pissed off, of course, at how I was terribly afraid for my friend. When it was over nothing.
Her mother went on and told me that Erin remembered getting into a car with someone she didn't know. She was drugged, but untouched and safe. The marks on her arms were from some guy grabbing her and trying to stop her from jumping out of the car. Then she passed out for a long time.
After getting off the phone with her mom I threw my bag on the ground in fury and collapsed against the locker. I was so afraid. It was fury from not knowing where she was. Fury from thinking she was on her death bed, and from the relief of her being alive. I was angry at myself for so many damn reasons.
And I really wanted Charlie.
With angry tears blinding my eyes, I stormed to his classroom and walked in, seeing he was in a very serious phone call and he did not look happy. But then again, neither did I.
He turned in his chair and looked at me, seeming to also notice the space between us hadn't been closed in so long. He turned back to his phone. "Mom, I'm hanging up." His tone was softer, because he was looking at me. "Bye." He quickly said and hung up, walking over to me quickly. "What's wrong, what happened?" He asked in concern.
I felt even more angry and sad and just threw my arms around him. He hugged me back, seeming thrown off more than anything. "What happened?" He asked again, more clearly to my face when I looked up at him.
I forced my tears down at that time, and I felt my nose getting red from it, which made it kind of difficult to speak. "Erin is awake. And she's safe." I tugged away from him, remembering the silver chain around my neck that was tucked underneath my shirt. Should I have told Andy first? "But I'm... I'm mad." I said plainly and he looked at me with a typical expression. It made me angrier. "The doctors said she was going to die." I got out, throwing my bag on a desk in more frustration. I watched his eyes go wide and he stepped toward me, but I stepped away. I wasn't sure why I did that, but it was the beginning of an awkward boundary between us. "She's not, thank god. I'm so mad because they got her medicine mixed with the wrong fucking information." I shook my head and covered my face with my hands uncomfortably. I confused myself when I stopped talking to him, because I loved talking to him, but when I'd push him away it seemed to only hurt me. I knew he didn't care, and I was used to that.
But it was the way he looked at me then, that told me otherwise.
"I'm really glad she's okay, Diana."
"So am I." I said, calming down, but my chest still rising from the quick beating of my heart.
He stared at me with a look, not sympathy, but something else. I couldn't identify it, and it was too much to think about so I looked away and listened as the lunch bell rang.
I turned around quickly to head out, but he called my name and I froze to listen. "I miss you." He said in a slightly playful way.
I tried not to stiffen at his easy words, because I felt the exact same way. Only I knew he was joking. I missed him more and more, and it was my own fault for that. I didn't say anything back and instead escaped his room, into my next period.
...
Again, I didn't stay after school. Instead I rushed home, because I needed to catch up on everything I'd screwed up on.
That flew by quickly and soon I was in bed, prepared for the next day and passed out. I thought about Charlie a lot. Mr. Grant. Who ever he was to me. I always wanted to ask him, what were we? But we didn't have this... thing going on for long, so it was too soon to be asking. Should I be asking in the first place?
No, of course not. I wasn't even supposed to be involved with my teacher in that way. I was never supposed to kiss him, or call him handsome, or seduce him in his classroom. I was never supposed to like him.
I wasn't even supposed to know him.
Although I told myself many times that it would mean trouble for the both of us, it never stopped me from going to his apartment the next day after school. He didn't ask if I was going home when class ended, I just left. I wasn't even planning on going over there, I just missed him.
Subconciously, I forgot to put on the necklace Andy got me, so there was yet no reminder of how terrible of a person I was.
I knocked on his door, but he didn't answer. I knocked again and again, he was dead silent on the other end. I looked around and down, seeing if there was a secret hiding spot for an extra key. That idiot. Anyone could look underneath his welcome mat.
I decided to try if it was unlocked before I broke in, and surely enough it was unlocked. Inside, Charlie was sitting at his desk in his living room and hunched over papers concentratedly. He looked straight at me in shock. "What the fuck?" He said, turning himself in his chair.
"Door was unlocked."
"Does that give you the right to break in?"
"Why didn't you answer?" I asked.
"I thought you were my mother." He sighed, clicking his pen that fell on the desk. "Why didn't you call in advance?"
I shrugged, still standing and leaning against his front door. "I didn't exactly plan on coming over." I informed him.
He raised an eyebrow and crossed a leg over his knee. "Really, now?"
I didn't say anything. I didn't shrug either. I just missed being around him.
"Diana, come here."
I obeyed and he stared up at me from his chair. "You look so thin." He said, a hand raised to my waist and touching me gently. "Have you been sick?" He asked in concern.
I shook my head, pushing away his hands. "I've been fine."
"Have you been eating?"
I nodded. I wasn't sure if it was a lie or not, since food wasn't really something I thought much about these days. My priorities had been all over the place, so what was I supposed to do?
He stood up and I was about to step back, but then realized it would just be avoiding him even more. I went there for him, not to avoid him, so I stood where I was and allowed Charlie to take my face in his hands. I wanted nothing more but to fall asleep in his hands at that moment. I closed my eyes and took in the feeling of such comfort. It was a different kind of comfort and I loved it.
When I opened my eyes he was staring right at me. "I really do miss you." He said, a little too casually, but the lowness in his voice didn't fool me. Charlie missed me.
I couldn't say it back, though it was the truth. Oh I miss you too, while I was with another man who treats me just as well and maybe even better than you do.
It wasn't fair to him. I was being completely unfair, compairing two completely different men to eachother. I was a terrible person.
He kissed me first, and I returned it as well as I could, trying my best to hide the reluctance I felt. Then it was all forgotten and we liked eachother again.
It was a welcoming kiss, so when he pulled back all I wanted to do was kiss him again. "Let's eat something." He nodded over to the kitchen and I followed him, being sure to take a mental picture of how manly he looked with a white tshirt and blue jeans, that fit him quite nicely.
"I don't have any of that icecream left over," He said sheepishly. "But I do have pasta from last night." He said, reaching into his fridge and taking out a pastic container.
"Who made it for you?" I asked curiously, taking it from him.
"Mr. Joseph's wife." He grumbled out shyly.
I looked at him funny and he covered my face playfully with his large hand. "Why?" I asked with a small laugh, pushing his hand off.
He sighed out, walking over to the small table by his kitchen and sitting down. "They wanted to do something nice for me." He said as if it wasn't a big deal.
"That's sweet." I said, sitting next to him and we faced eachother.
"Diana, what do you do at home?" He randomly asked, seeming extra curious.
I wasn't expecting such a random question from him. I didn't know what to say. "Well," I breathed in, trying think if what it was I did at home. I sulked. I read my fathers letters. I didn't do a lot of things, so I shook my head to him. "Nothing really. I do homework, and I read." I said with a shrug.
His eyes stayed on me affectionately and it was a strange look to recieve from him. It made me want to tell him everything I felt, everything I went through without my father. "It sounds..." He thought for a while and I watched how his eyes moved down, looking for a word to fit.
But I knew right away. "Lonely?" I asked a little too quietly.
Charlie's eyes bounced onto me and it was like he understood so well what it was like. It felt like, for that sweet moment, that he could relate to absolutely everything I went through without anyone in my house.
It was my fault too, and I recognized that. I pushed them away.
After a dragged out silence I realized I wasn't hungry and turned away from the food in my sight. He noticed, but hadn't yet said anything. He stood up and held his hand out to me. "You like books, right?" He turned and looked at me. I answered him with a nod, taking his large and warm hand. He pulled me along and led me around to the living room, having me stand right in front of his bookshelf. "Tada." He said.
I turned to him in question, a confused smile suddenly on my face. He didn't let go of my hand and instead nodded to the shelf. "There's a surprise in there." He said boredly.
I laughed sarcastically and shook my head. "What, do you have a secret office behind this shelf?" I asked in a mocking tone, reaching for Romeo & Juliet , knowing he liked it. Instead of pulling the book out, it tipped over like a lever being pulled and within seconds, the shelf slid itself forward and to the side, revealing an open office surrounded by books.
My jaw dropped when he pulled me along inside. "How the hell did you get it the first try?" He asked, mostly to himself.
All around I was surrounded, each wall a shelf filled with books. Five shelfs on each wall, and there was no empty space. There were probably thousands of books in there.
I didn't notice him staring at me until I turned around and he knocked me out of my admiration-trance. "This- This is- it's just..." I trailed off, looking around again with awe.
He chuckled his rare chuckle and hugged me from the side. I felt as he laughed, his small hairs on his face brushing against me, tickling my face. "You're cute, you know that?" He said to me, his deep voice seeming so sweet saying such unusual words.
I turned in his arms and faced him. "Charlie, this is amazing." I said, trying to scan every shelf and capture every title I could.
His arms around my waist pulled me a little closer, and it felt like being bundled in warm blankets just pulled from the dryer on a winter day. Funny, since it was winter. And it was getting colder each day, but he was just so warm. "I knew you'd like it."
"How many books are in here?" I asked, looping my arms around his neck as if it was the most usual thing in the world. But it felt like much more than that.
"About three or four-thousand." He answered right away.
I felt my eyes go wide again and he smiled at me, such a beautiful smile I couldn't control when I pulled him to me and kissed him. What made things worse-or better- was when he smiled into our kiss, I just didn't want to let go of him. But when I forced myself to pull away he kept himself close to me. "How many have you read?" I asked eagerly.
He sighed onto me and seemed to think hard. "I have it written somewhere, but I think just under a thousand."
He must be trying to make me fall in love with him I thought to myself as a joke.
"I'm trying to read every single one before I get old and die."
I laughed into his chest at his bluntness and peaked over his shoulder to a wall of books. "Wow." Was all I could say, and lowered my arms. He let go of me and I read titles of random books in random places.
I froze when getting to the fourth wall of the office and looked at him sitting in a desk chair. It was fitting to the room. The shelves were cherrywood, and the ground was a plush carpet of black. His desk matched the shelves perfectly and he had a bunch of papers and his laptop and a fancy lamp all at his desk. It was incredably classy.
He looked at me.
"How are these organized?" I asked curiously.
His eyes brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"Like, do you have them set up by alphebetical order or by genre or by both?"
He shrugged and looked around also. "Neither."
"What?"
"They're just there." He simply said.
I stared at him blankly. "You mean they're not in any order?" I asked him, and he shrugged. "You mean they're put there randomly?"
He shrugged again.
"What the hell?" I said to him.
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Watch your-"
"Watch your mouth, yeah yeah yeah." I mocked him. "I can't believe there is no pattern for them."
He didn't say anything and began to look through his papers in deep concentration. "Charlie?" I said and he immediately set his things down and looked at me. "It's not a library if it's not organized."
He sighed at me in irritation and waved me off. "I don't care about that."
"I do."
"Then do something about it." He said distractedly.
I thought deeply and it came to me. "Okay."
"Wait, what?" He directed his attention at me again.
"I'm going to organize them." I told him.
"Diana, there are thousands of books in here. Who knows how long it'll take you to do that."
"Then I better get started." I said, already looking around his shelves in interest.
"I'm serious-"
"Sh." I shushed him. "Give me your permission and a ladder so I can start."
He still stared at me in what seemed like fascination, but soon stood up and left the room, and came back a minute later with a ladder for me. "I won't get mad when you give up."
He said, getting close to me and speaking in a husky and playful tone. I rolled my eyes and pushed him aside as if he didn't affect me in any way. "I won't give up." I told him.
"If you do?"
I crossed my arms. "Are you trying to bet with me?"
He smirked and I wanted to attack him. "Yes, I am."
"So if I don't give up..."
"I'll buy you a pony." He mocked and I scoffed. "Fine, uh..." His eyes darted around in thought and he looked back at me when he figured it out. "I inherited a garden down by the Far Lakes as a kid that I never go to. If you finish, I'll give it to you."
I looked at him in confusion. "Wait, what?"
"A garden. With flowers and stuff. You like flowers, right?" He said awkwardly, not looking at me.
I smiled at him and it seemed to make him get shy. "Yeah, I like flowers."
"Well, then I'll give it to you. If you finish."
"What's it like?"
"I'll take you there sometime and you'll see. If you don't like it we can figure something else out."
It didn't show, but my heart was rapidly beating at how incredable he was. A garden. He owned a freaking garden. If there's something I like as much as books, it's flowers.
How cliché is that.
"But if you don't finish..."
I raised an eyebrow at him. "Now, is this something you like? Or something we both like?" I asked him, seeming to surprise him.
"Oh, I'll make sure you won't like it." He said cynically.
At this challenge I went to him and extended my hand. He took it firmly and we shook on it, but before I pulled back he yanked me to him and kissed me hard. "Deal." I said to him breathlessly when we pulled away.
...
By nine o'clock that night I had already organized by genre about seventy books, but I hadn't yet gotten them in alphebetical order yet since I'd have to wait until I got more books in sections for that.
Eventually he must've finished with whatever he was doing, because he randomly scooped me off the ground and into his arms.
"What the- Charlie?" I said in surprise with a book in my hand. It slipped out and onto a random pile and he exited the room with me cradled into him.
"You need a break." He said, and plopped me onto his bed, leaving his room but soon coming back with a warm bowl of pasta.
"Dinner time." He said and sat beside me, handing me a bowl of the Italian food.
I stared at it and he spun it around a fork, lifting it to me and I glared at him, "I can feed myself."
"I don't see you doing it."
I took the fork from him and for the first time all day, I ate. It was heavenly in my mouth, like old friends rekindling as if they had never been seperated.
"Good girl." He said, patting my leg and I pushed him off.
"I'm not a dog." I grumbled to him and he laughed at me, standing up from his bed and reaching into drawers for clothes.
"I'm gonna shower. Just put it in the sink when you're done, unless you want more. Then help yourself." He said and escaped into the bathroom.
He was going to shower.
Can I join?
I shook my head at myself. Damn teenager hormones.
He was incredably nice for everything he did the night I was there, and he didn't even need to prepare for it.
I finished my pasta and put it in the sink like he said. My phone had several missed calls, two from my brothers, one from Connor. One from Erin.
I called her back first and it was like she was never hurt. I sat on Charlie's bed as if it was my own and talked on the phone with my knees to my chest.
She was telling me about her dreams.
"Diana, it was so crazy. You had like, a secret relationship with one guy while you were already with someone else and it was just like wow, that's not Diana!" She laughed into the phone and I did too, although I was incredably freaked out by her... dreams.
"Are you sure?" I said back, her taking it as a joke of course.
"Oh that's cute, girl."
I smiled at her into the phone and sighed out. "My god, you don't know how good it is to know you're okay."
"Yeah, thanks to you and Connor. There's no one like you two, I swear." She said happily.
"Well, I wouldn't have been able to if it weren't for-" I stopped myself short, thinking of what I was about to say. Charlie? Dammit, no, we knew him as Mr. Grant.
"Weren't for who?" She asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. Mr. Grant. He let me out of tutoring because he heard about what was going on."
She gasped and squealed on the other end. "Oh my god. He is so nice! Who knew? Damn I want to take him home-!"
"Okay, Okay, Oh-kay." I shivered uncomfortably and she laughed loudly on the other line. "Goodness, he's a teacher." I mumbled to her and she laughed even more.
"Yeah, I know. I can dream though, right?"
I heard as the shower squeaked off and watched as the door opened, steam spilling out from the bathroom and him walking out with only pants. He dried his hair lazily with a towel and locked his eyes with mine.
"Take a picture." He said.
"Romance reminds me! Diana, you had Andy Carl look for private people to look for me! You're almost famous now, y'know?"
I stiffened under the mention of him and was about to speak, but she interrupted me and I was saved by her father. "Sorry, Dye. I gotta go, Daddy says I need to sleep."
I chuckled lightly at her. "Tell him I said good luck getting you to loose all that energy." I joked calmly.
She seemed to sigh in contentment on the other line. "Sure will. Love you, girl. I'll see you soon!"
"Love you Erin. Go to sleep idiot, I'll visit you." And we hung up.
I looked up at the sexy man infront of me and he rubbed the towel over his face. "How is she?"
"She's really good." I smiled. "She hasn't changed one bit."
"I'm guessing this means she's still going to be a loud one in the hall ways." He said, sitting on the bed, leaning over onto me.
"Yes, that's exactly what it means."
He had his hand on my knee and I reached over to run my hands through his damp hair. "You're so handsome." I sighed out.
He seemed to go almost shy and I laughed at him. A grown man being embarrassed at a compliment. "What, are you insecure?" I teased.
"Would I be shirtless if I was?" He said, seeming to gain back confidence and leaning into me. He put his other hand on my other knee and slid it lower onto my thigh.
"Are you insecure?" He asked me, brushing a piece of hair out of my face.
"I can take my shirt off if you need me to." I said, matching his tone and grabbed my legs, sliding me onto my back.
"Don't tease me, Diana." He said in my ear.
I brushed my nails against his neck lightly and I watched goosebumps appear onto him. "Who said I was teasing?" I said into him and he ran his hand up my leg and to my side, then to my belly and tugged up my shirt, but stopped himself. "Stop holding back." I said in irritation.
"I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're- Fuck, you're nine years younger than me."
I felt a pain at my heart but I shook it off the best I could. "Does that really bother you?" I sighed out, trying not to show how offensive I found it.
"It doesn't." He said into my neck. "That's what bothers me."
I slipped off my shirt and threw it to the ground carelessly. He still held back, and I roamed my hands down to the elastic of his pants, making him flinch and take my wrist. "Goodness, Charlie, you need to relax."
"I hate how experienced you make yourself sound." He said to me.
I blushed at him and he shook his head in amusement. "You're still so innocent." He kissed my neck slowly and I didn't bother holding back the seductive chuckle that came to me when he did. "Stop laughing like that." He groaned helplessly and I was about to ask why, but I felt it.
With a small chuckle left over, my hand slowly pulled at his pants and I felt his v-line. "Stop." He said, though not making any move to stop me.
"Charlie," I said innocently. "Are you hard?" I asked him in a whisper and I felt him harden even more. I smiled and he began to turn red in the mixture of embarrassment and reluctance. "It's okay, you can touch me." I said in a teasing way.
"Shut up." He growled onto me.
"I want you to touch me." I said, taking my other hand and using that to drag his own hand up my stomach.
"I'm serious." He said in such a dangerous way I believed I was more turned on than he was.
"Me too." In his ear I made sure to brush my lips against him. "Touch me, Charlie."
He did, and his modesty soon vanished when I slipped my hands into his pants and I heard him groan. "Oh god." He breathed out, already leaking out from me just touching him.
To me it was a hot and surreal moment. I didn't want to go so slow, but knew there was no other way. Unfortunately.
I pulled at him and slid my hand up and down. He breathed into my hair and his hand went around my covered breast while his other behind my neck and he kissed me roughly. I moaned into him, wishing he'd touch me more. It worked.
His other hand worked and teased me at the button of my jeans. When he finally slipped them off he went bold and touched me as he pleased, while I did the same.
He kissed roughly and my hands worked him just enough to where he was soon there. He groaned my name into my neck and I stopped, making him look at me. "What-"
I shushed him and leaned over to my jeans and pulled out a condom that was once for Connor. Charlie looked surprised. "Were you planning..."
"No, it was for Connor."
He glared at me and I laughed. "Not for me and Connor-"
"Shut up, I get it." He cringed and took it from me, but looking weary.
"I want to." I assured him.
"I'm not a gentle person." He admitted shyly.
A smile stretched across my face as I pulled him closer to me. "Good." I told him and he quickly ripped the wrapper, taking it out and looking at it unsurely.
I did too and bit my lip. He was too big for it. "Give it a try." I told him anyway and he sighed.
"I don't want to risk anything-"
"I'm on birthcontrol anyway." I told him passively.
He glared at me again. "You need to stop interrupting me." Charlie's forehead pressed to mine affectionately and he pulled it on, then wove his hands through mine after we removed the rest of our clothing. "I don't want to hurt you." He said.
I kissed him shortly and found myself liking him more. "I want you to." I said.
He closed his eyes tightly and lined himself up for me, and his hands never left mine.
...
It was around the middle of the night and I was just waking up from his bed. He was there too, and was sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to wake him up, but I didn't want to just leave.
"Charlie," I whispered, nudging him gently. The memories came to me at how it was our first time together. He tried to be gentle, which was cute, but he soon got the jist that I didn't want him to be.
"Charlie," I stretched my arm out over him and rested my chin on his chest. He was such a cute sleeper, it was such a contrast to his rough personality.
A groan came out in response from him and I touched his scruffy face. "Wake up." I told him.
His eyes opened and he looked at me. "Did we really have sex?" Was the first thing he asked me.
I nodded and he wove his hand through my hair, looking up at the ceiling in something I couldn't comprehend.
"Charlie I need to go." I told him and he didn't remove himself from me. "I have school tomorrow."
"Just be late." He suggested sleepily.
"I need to go home." I told him with a regretful sigh. Of course I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to be away from him.
I rolled over and searched for my clothes, only finding my bra and jeans. "I can't find my shirt."
He rose and threw one at me, but it was his. "Wear mine." He told me.
I flipped on the light and he grabbed me quickly before I slipped on the shirt. His eyes looked at my body in shock, and his hands were at my waist. "Did... Did I do this?" He asked me and I had no idea what he was talking about until I looked down at myself, seeing small pre-bruises blotted all across my body. They were love bites, and they were everywhere.
I touched one and felt the tenderness of the bruise and held back a cringe, not wanting him to be upset for it. It hurt, and it hurt while we did it, but that's what I wanted. I didn't regret it.
I pulled back from him and slipped on his shirt, being fully clothed and having him get up too. "Sleep good tonight." He advised me while we walked to his living room.
"I will." I said. "Trust me."
I watched him smirk and I took my things, slipping out of his place with a smile and to my car.
I drove home and rethought the memory. I was a giddy school girl, half asleep and in a seductive daze. I had never been so... satisfied. I layed in bed with a smile and fell asleep with the memories of him treating me like a woman, in such a way I blushed all night.
At school the next day I had Connor looking at me suspiciously. "What's with you?"
"What do you mean?" I asked him, being sure I wasn't acting any different.
"You just look... brighter today. I don't know, how much wine did you drink last night?"
I rolled my eyes. "I didn't." Was all I answered him with and he walked with me to my locker.
"So when do you think Erin is coming back?" He asked.
An unsure sigh escaped me and I shrugged. "Soon."
"I hope so. It's been too quiet in the morning. You've been too quiet in the morning."
"Sorry I'm human, and I'm not a morning person." I grumbled at him and he laughed, hitting my butt and walking away.
"I'll see you later." He promised.
"Did he just slap your ass?" Cole said beside me and I flinched as his presence.
"Don't." I warned Cole, knowing he was going to and he groaned.
"Connor gets to do everything." He complained.
"Erin is coming back soon." I informed him and he gave me a look that asked what I was trying to say and I winked.
"Diana, shut up." He said and I laughed beside him, walking to class.
At lunch Charlie texted me.
In a meeting
Meaning we couldn't eat together. It was weird, how I was disappointed about that. I expected us to be spending more time together, but it didn't really matter too much. We were just... Shit, what were we?
"Let's get something to eat." Connor suggested when I walked into the cafeteria and I nodded immediately. I didn't stop by my locker for my keys, since he was driving.
We just got Whataburger, like always. "You're eating." He said in fascination.
"Erin's healthy, everyone's safe, I've done enough worrying." I said, biting into a hamburger.
We talked casually about school, which was normal, only it had been a while since life was normal.
I slept with my teacher, normal doesn't even exist.
Eigth period was alive. He seemed alive too, and happy. Is it true? Mr. Grant... Happy? It was because of me, and that's what made me happy.
"Mr. G!" Ryan said beside me and everyone looked at him funny. "Can I call you that?"
"No." Charlie answered immediately and everyone snickered at Ryan.
Ryan shrugged it off and went to his work, flicking eraser bits at me when the teacher wasn't looking. He was acting like a child.
I groaned at how distracting it was and he laughed at me, flicking another. I looked at him, about to say something when an eraser hit him.
We turned around and saw Mr. Grant looking at Ryan smugly. "Pick it all up." He said carelessly.
Ryan huffed and leaned over to pick up every eraser shaving he flicked at me.
"Good job, Cinderella." I whispered to him when the bell rang and Ryan flipped me off. "Real mature."
"Oh that's right, you like maturity." Ryan teased, getting his things together. "Is my dick too small for you?"
I turned away passively, but mostly attempting to hide the embarrassed blush that took over.
He was gone soon and so was everyone else.
"You should've told him yes." Charlie said from behind me.
I laughed and shook my head. "How am I supposed to know how big he is?" I teased and he clicked his tongue.
"Shut up."
I laughed again and his voice growled at me to come here.
I went to him and took my things to study. "Alright, what are we doing?" I asked, flipping the text book in front of us.
He pulled out a sheet of paper and stuck it in front of me.
"Let's get started." He began, and it was suddenly so difficult to pay attention when the tension between us grew each time he brushed against me.
"You understand?" He asked after explaining something I wasn't paying attention to.
"Sorry, what?" I said, trying to wake up from his affection.
"Fuck this." He growled and tugged me forward, sitting me on his lap again and kissed me roughly while running his large hands up my thighs.
I clenched myself around him tightly and kissed him back with everything I had. "Mr. Grant?" I pulled back and said.
He turned red in embarrassment and I laughed at the effect. "Diana, stop." He said against my lips.
"Stop?"
"No, don't stop." He groaned and tried to kiss me but I kept moving backwards. "Really?" He sighed.
I ran my hands through his hair and he closed his eyes in what seemed like contentment. It felt like in that moment that he needed me more than I needed him. But did we need eachother at all?
"I like you more, now." I admitted, suddenly sounding shy, and not liking it.
We didn't.
He looked at me in a serious way. "I like you more too."
It was assuring, but I felt needy. I felt needy and suddenly needed to be away. At the same time I needed to be with him.
"We should go to your place, I'm still not done with your library." I told him and he chuckled at me, captivating me with his smile.
"You expect me to keep my hands off you?"
I blushed hard and he locked his lips with mine in a playful way and tugged with his teeth.
There was a knocking at the door that made me practically jump out of my skin. We both stood up and he whispered me to sit at the desk and copy work down. I straightened myself out within seconds and so did he. When I began to casually, boredly too, write down random calc problems Mr. Joseph entered the room with a jolly grin and I had to return it. "Hey," I said happily and his eyes lit up in happiness, seeing me with surprise.
"Diana, how are you?" He asked, coming over to me and enveloped my hand in his.
"I'm the same. How about you?" I asked and he sat down tiredly, wiping his forehead in what seemed like exhaustion.
"I've been busy." He said with a sigh and a deep voice cleared his throat, making the two of us turn in shock.
Charlie glared at me, but I saw past his irritation and rolled my eyes. "What did you need, sir?" He asked respectfully and I bit my lip to hold back the turned on smile that wanted to come from his politeness. I guessed it was since no one could possibly hate someone like Mr. Joseph.
"Oh!" The old man said as if remembering why he came in the first place. "I was wondering if you wanted me to make extra copies of the readied notes for the up coming exams."
I sighed. "Exams?"
"Ah, you don't have to do that." Charlie said passively at his desk, but stood up to his full height, hands in his pockets and looked casually at Mr. Joseph.
"Yeah he likes to make us suffer." I muttered to myself in truth and Mr. Joseph gasp playfully, lightly backhanding my shoulder.
"I hope you're joking." He said with a smile.
"She's not." Charlie said back, only this time with a sparkle in his eyes and I had a small fear that the sweet and oblivious grandpa caught it. If he did, and if he recognized it as something... More than being my teacher... What would he do?
I am thinking way too into it.
Paranoia seemed to be haunting me in an aggressive way. Well that seemed to be my life.
"You both seem okay now." Mr. Joseph suddenly said in a knowing tone.
Mr. Grant and I shared a quick milisecond of a look and looked at the man in question. What did that mean? I held my breath, telling myself that it was nothing and there was nothing to worry about. "I knew you kids never hated eachother." He said with a wave of his hand and I tried my best to act casual, but the question still murdered me... Where was he going with this?
"You're a good teacher, Charles." He said with a nod. "I understand the stess it can come with, but for all the years you've been here I can see you've finally relaxed."
With that, he gave a small wave and left the room. I let out a quiet breath and looked up at Charlie who blew out in relief. He shook his head. "Damn old man." He joked blandly.
I laughed quietly and saw it made him smile at me. "This isn't safe." I told him and he seemed to understand, the way his eyes turned to the window made me regret saying it.
"I'm sorry." He said.
I stood up and walked over to him. "Stop apologizing, I started this."
He turned around and looked at me funny. "No you didn't."
"Yes I did. Who kissed who first?"
"Who attracted who first?" He teased, pulling at my shirt.
I laughed again. "Let's not pretend you're cocky, Charlie. You're still that insecure man who froze when I first called you handsome." I rose on the tip of my toes and said quietly to him.
He came close to me and gently touched his tongue to my jaw. So lightly it tickled me with excitement. "I guess it's your fault for being such a woman and being so damn confident." He growled at me.
"Well..." I backed up playfully and took my bag. "I should get to work."
"On?" He asked suggestively.
I shook my head at the idiot. "Your library, idiot."
He gave out a sigh, but surely he took his things and followed me out the door and went to his car while I went to mine. He sent me a wink went I got buckled in and pulled out.
It came to mind then, how did I get involved with someone like him? No, it wasn't a matter of personality... Wait, yes it was. He hated me, hated life, hated himself. How was it he smiled around me? And suddenly showed the kind of affection a boyfriend would, and his library. He was once so hostile and aggressive with words, angry at everything. But there he was in his car giving me a wink, and there he was back there kissing me and saying he couldn't keep his hands off me. And the previous night, there he was again...
I flushed at the memory and pressed my forehead to the wheel, covering the embarrassed smile.
It was my first time with someone other than Andy, and it was enough to prove how Andy was kinda gentle with me. Charlie wasn't, and I liked that.