Sorry, again for the extreme delay. I've been annoyingly busy.
I'll make it up to you all and upload later this friday. :)
Enjoy
-cilla
The next day Andy and I went sight-seeing. We took things slow since we were going to be there for five whole days. The same day we went walking in the markets, illegal sellings on each corner, though they were classy and beautiful. He bought me a fan, a handcrafted one that the dancers used. They were on the streets, being graceful and romantic. Andy tried to dance with me again, and I could only laugh at how openly casual he was about everything.
The third day we went to the beach, and the air was cool and the sun wasn't too hot. It was nice. Andy was layed back and snoring, while I was mesmerized by the waves in front of us. When he woke up again he reached over and brushed my hair behind my shoulders so softly it brought goosebumps to me. "You're like an angel." He said. "You glow."
I shook my head at him, embarrassed by such comments and layed at his side, weaving my hand through his. "You do too." I smiled when he kissed me, then pulled back to give me a funny look.
"Diana, when I compliment you, you don't have to reply with the same thing. You don't have to reply at all."
I laughed and we fell asleep again on the cool sand.
The fourth day we did as much as we could. We went to visit the art museums, which had become a huge part of my inspiration for everything else.
"You're like a kid in a candy store." He laughed at me when we walked into the art museum.
"It's just so amazing." I kept saying.
That was when I truly fell in love with art and realized I hadn't done anything creative in a while.
The fourth day we had sex again, and the fifth day was no different. Actually it was, since we ordered room service and took a bath together and stayed in to watch a movie. After enjoying the royalties of the Spanish hotel, we hopped back on the plane. First class was nothing like I thought it would be.
It was ten times better.
"Why?" I asked him while we drank fancy wine and layed back in true comfort, a warm towel set on both our shoulders.
"Why what?" He asked back.
"Why do you spoil me rotten?" I laughed. "I really could live without all this," I said in honesty.
"You don't like it?" He asked knowingly.
I shook my head, "No, of course I like it. I just don't want you to think you have to do all these things for me."
He brought me close to him and kissed me delicately. "I want you to know that you mean a lot to me. And that I'd do anything for you."
My whole body heated up at his seriousness. Not him too... What was with men being so serious these days?
"Maybe it's because when you wear my clothes I feel like you're mine."
I kissed Andy again, "I already know," I lied. "You don't have to show me." I smiled at him and we sat back and talked for hours until the plane finally landed. Ending a world of perfection and back into the world of reality and guilt.
Oh Charlie.
I was a bad person.
We landed at home and drove to his place, disguised from his photographers. We took a nap to sleep off the jetlag and woke up later that same afternoon. It was when we both knew we had to say goodbye.
I lingered in his car, not wanting to leave the sudden contentment we shared between us. "Thanks so much, Andy." I told him the day before Christmas Eve.
"You're welcome." He smiled, pinching my chin to kiss me. "You always are."
After that I went inside to sleep the rest of the night away, waking up and having my phone work finally, after from being confused in such an alien place.
I had a missed call from Charlie, and a million from my brothers. Charlie texted me.
I have a present for you. Come by when you can.
I felt giddy again, but the guilt still ate at me.
I didn't reply to him and instead got my things together to go over to his apartment. He didn't even expect me, and that was the best reaction to get from him.
He was sitting at his desk in his living room, his head in his arms, fast asleep on a pile of papers with a pen slipping from his fingers.
I tiptoed over to him, although already aware of how heavy of a sleeper he was. I stood behind him and reached my arms around his neck in a hug. "Charlie," I said in his ear. "Wake up."
He didn't yet reply until I kissed his neck, remembering how much I missed being around him. It was only about six days away from him, but I missed that man like crazy. "Charlie..." I sighed into him and he seemed to stir a bit.
"Hey." I said sternly, nudging him roughly.
He finally woke up, looking incredably beautiful when he did. Just him sleeping he was so peaceful, and when he stretched back and looked at me with such calm eyes, I smiled at him, because I was mesmerized by how lucky of a person I was. "You're here," He yawned casually.
"Yes, are you busy?"
He straightened up and rubbed his eyes. "Not that it matters," He shrugged, turning around to face me. "You're darker." He observed, looking up at me with sleeply eyes.
I ignored him and went to plop onto the couch, leaning over to stare at him. "So what were you doing?" I asked with equal casualty.
"You mean before I fell asleep? Grading exams. All week, actually." He sighed out in exhaustion.
"Really?" I asked in sympathy.
"You did really well." He told me.
I smiled, "Yeah you don't suck all that bad." I joked.
"So I suck good?" He joked back, completely ruining the clean and casual atmosphere and bringing a tint to my cheeks. He smirked faintly like the usual expressionless person he was and reached for me.
When I pulled back he stood up, suddenly towering over me in dominance and height and pulling my to my feet. "I missed you." I blurted, angry at myself for saying what I hated hearing most.
He laced both his hands through mine and raised them affectionately, deciding then to give me the unexpected kiss. When we pulled away he squeezed my hands in his. "I missed you too."
It sounded perfect coming from him, and I realized how much I put my hatred for possession to the side just because of how much I liked him.
I gave him a fakely-modest smile to break the sappy moment we had and stretched out. "So you said you have something for me?" I asked, trying to get him away from me, because the feeling he began giving me was scary.
"I do." He said plainly, but not leaving and instead his perfect lips hovered to my neck and I closed my eyes. I just wanted to stop being such a bad person.
I didn't deserve the pleasure he gave me when I was just enjoying being with another man the same way. Not the same exact way. The two men were incredably different, and I was so confused because I started to like them more.
When he widened his hands, loosening in mine, I suddenly didn't want him to let go. He ran his finger tips along my arms and I unsuccessfully tried to suppress a shiver. When he kissed my neck I let out a sigh.
What is he doing to me.
When his hands went in my hair, I wound my arms around him and gripped his back when he moved up.
It was just before his lips met mine when there was the sound of someone barging into his apartment, and we both looked up, me having to turn my head.
I looked back at the beautiful woman who stared back and forth between us and watched her face tint the slightest in embarrassment. "Oh, sorry Chance-"
Charlie let go of me and straightened up, walking in front of the couch to face her. "You know you're not allowed here." He growled.
She ignored him and looked at me. "What's your name?" She asked in interest.
"I'm Diana." I told her casually and she smiled politely at me.
"I'm Savannah."
"Get out." He groaned, turning away and running his hands through his hair.
It was his sister, that was obvious. They had the same hair, and the same eyes. It made me realize this was exactly what he didn't want to do, treat them wrong. "Charlie," I scolded him quietly and he looked at me, anger then directed at me, but only for a short time.
His cold eyes grew back to his usual warmth, and he looked away, running his hand stressfully through his hair. "What do you want," He asked Savannah low and calmly, no longer looking at either of us.
Savannah, unlike his mother, lingered around and tried to inch her way over near him. "I miss my little brother." She said, trying to add in the trace of amusement, which he didn't return.
He looked like he didn't know what to say and those caramel eyes turned back onto me. "I was kind of in the middle of something." He said to her, but looking at me.
Her face as well as mine flushed and I tried to casually turn away from him, but I know he caught it. And the faint smile on him was still there when he turned to look back at his sister. "Why did you just barge in, too?" He grumbled clearly, seeming to try to keep his temper down.
He then looked at me suspiciously. "I locked it." I simply told him, then he looked at Savannah.
"The key was under your mat." She said with a chuckle.
I rolled my eyes to myself. "Idiot." I muttered quietly, and he narrowed his playful eyes at me, but said nothing.
Savannah just seemed in awe, staring at her brother as if she didn't know who he was. "Come by home, Chance." His sister pleaded, all seriousness directed at him, and he looked grumpy again. Grumpy like always. "We really do miss you."
"I've been busy lately." He immediately said, not meaning anything else by it.
But his sister looked at me. "You could come to," She said with some excitement.
Charlie and I shared wide-eyed looks and I looked back at his sister, about to reject, but she simply shook her head. "Come, please. If that's what Chance needs to co-"
"It's time for you to leave, Savannah." He growled again.
She eyes fell, seeming to realize she got her hopes up, and I felt bad.
"Pleasure meeting you." She said to me and turned around, leaving without a word to Charlie.
When she was gone, we looked at eachother. "Why don't you go?" I asked.
He looked confused. "I thought you wouldn't want to."
I returned his confused look.
"I wouldn't want to go alone." He said with a grumble.
I smiled at him and he looked mad, trying to shrug me off when I reached for him, but when I pulled him hard, he obeyed. "I'll go with you." I told him.
He still didn't look happy, but kissed my forhead regardless and stared at the door. "Tell her before she leaves." I pressed.
I could tell he was extemely annoyed, but he listened none-the-less and opened the front of his apartment door, shouting her name hesitantly. "Savannah.... I'll go." He said moodily, and shut the door, storming past me angrily.
I let out a sigh, not ever knowing what to do for that man.
I followed him into his room and he threw off his shirt in what seemed like irritation. "What is it?" I asked, honestly not knowing what was wrong with him.
He leaned his hand against the wall in his dark room and looked down at the floor. "I think you should get out too." He said, just barely being audible.
I felt sad again.
"It's been a while since I saw you, but alright." I said with mastered casualty and I began walking out of his room and to the living room, grabbing my bag and heading for the door, stopping before opening it.
Why did he push me away?
No,
Why did I let him?
I dropped my bag and went back into his room, seeing him clutch his hair in fury or agitation.
"Charlie-"
"I told you to leave." He bellowed, not looking at me.
I flinched at his voice but rolled my eyes at myself. I was no longer afraid of this man, because I knew he had that sweet and gentle side. I knew he liked me as well, so I stayed where I was and crossed my arms. "I'm not leaving." I said back. "I'm not your mother or sister who you can just scare off."
"I've done it before." He said lowly.
I took a step forward. "I'm not letting you push me away." I told him boldly.
He pushed off the wall and faced me, his face a black sillouette in the dark cold room that made me want to just snuggle into him. But he was so angry. "Get out, Diana."
"Why?"
He lost his words, and said nothing.
"Just minutes ago you were saying you missed me, and now you want me to leave?" I asked, hating how needy I sounded. I should've left like he told me to, I should've just waited until he cooled down, instead of staying and being clingy.
Charlie still said nothing.
"Sorry." I suddenly said plainly. "I- uh, I'm gonna go." I told him after the silence and turned to rush out of there.
My hand was wrapped around the doorknob when I felt his strong arm wrap around me and pull my back to his chest. His nose was in my hair, and as he breathed out my hair flew forward lightly. We stayed like that for a while. I was frozen, hand still on the knob, his breathing heavily relaxing in my ear. Finally I felt the rumble of his chest as he spoke, "I'm sorry." He said.
I sighed, about to speak when he cut me off. "I don't want you to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong."
But I have.
I finally let go of the knob, putting my hand over his which on was gripped onto my side. His other hand pressed against the door frame in what seemed like exhaustion.
I was left not knowing what to say, and turned around to face him, and he no longer looked angry, but embarrassed. "Do you wanna go lie down?" I asked him, and he gave me one of those rare smiles. Those smiles where not even the happiest person in the world could simply mimmick. It was small, and meaningful, and I wish it could've lasted forever.
He released me at last, and stood in front of me casually. "I have to give you your present first." He told me.
I waited while he dug into his bag beside his desk for what came out as a terribly-wrapped rectangle. He turned and tossed it to me.
It was off guard, but I caught it. I laughed at the folds and he ignored me, telling me to open it.
"It's nothing special." He said while I tore off the shiny red paper.
I stopped for a second and stared at what was in my hands. Nothing special? My face got warm in happiness and ran my fingers over the cover, taking in the familiarity of it. Cream colored with torn edges here and there. East of Eden by John Steinbeck. My favorite book. And now it was mine, my only book.
"I didn't get you anything." I said apologetically and he plainly rolled his eyes in irritation.
"You didn't have to." He said back lowly, crossing his arms.
I just stared at him, this incredable person who didn't realize how much giving me my favorite book meant to me. I wasn't sure why, but it was the sweetest thing in my eyes.
"Thanks." I told him happily.
"It's just a book," He said passively and I shook my head, a smile on my lips from how unknowingly modest he was.
"But my favorite book." I said, looking over the old binding in admiration.
"You... You really like it?" He asked in disbelief.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"It's just a book. In terrible shape, too." He added, seeming embarrassed. Then I understood. He was upset because it was nothing special. "I don't have much money for anything right now, so-"
"Charlie, shut up." I told him rudely. He stopped and furrowed his eyebrows at me.
He probably thought I wanted something shiny, something pretty.
I didn't really care for jewelry, and realizing the truth in that I remembered how I had on the necklace Andy got me. I touched my neck and felt it there, underneath my shirt. It made me feel even worse for the both of them. At the time mostly for Charlie.
He didn't have much money, he admitted that. And I wouldn't have believed him if it weren't for the tint in his embarrassed face when he told me. I didn't want him to feel like he had to buy me something, because I didn't want anything like that from him. "This is honestly the best gift I've ever gotten." I told him, making up for my rude tone.
He still didn't look like he believed me. "You've already read it-"
"Charlie, I don't have any books. This is the first book ever that I own myself."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
He stood up straighter, looking around awkwardly. He was silent, but I read the rare self-assurance in his eyes. It looked like he was telling himself that he did something right, and I was glad because he did do something right. When his eyes landed back on me he finally looked calm. "Sit down, I'll get you icecream." He said, turning around and heading to his kitchen.
I smiled, doing as he said and collapsing onto the couch, realizing how I was still so tired. My eyes closed; I was intending to only rest them until I fell asleep.
He lightly shook me awake, "I know you didn't come over to sleep on my couch." He said plainly.
I sat up, having him sit beside me and hand me the icecream. He stretched back his arms along the back of the couch and I watched him. "Remember when you were an asshole?" I suddenly said.
His eyes flickered to me and rolled. "You mean do I remember when you annoyed me? You still do."
I smiled sleepily and stretched my legs across his lap. "Why are you so tired? What did you even do this past week?"
I held my breath, holding down the flushing in my face. How was I supposed to answer him? I couldn't lie about being with my brothers, he'd know. Should I lie to him at all? It didn't matter, he didn't need to know what I was doing at all times and same for me. His business was his own, and same for me. I gave him a simple shrug. "I drove down to see Erin for a while. It was exhausting." I said, fooling him well with my lies. I tried to swallow the guilt that came when he believed me.
"You're a good friend." He said casually.
I only nodded. No, I was a terrible person.
We sat together and talked, me eventually falling asleep again.