At the apartment, I layed on his bed and reread the letters, a relaxed smile on my face, seeing the familiar words and adoring my father's... his fatherly-ness. I wanted him with me so badly. I wanted to tell him everything. He'd know what I should do, he'd tell me what I'm doing is wrong, and he'd ask me questions and make me realize what I should do. But I just don't know what he'd ask, or what he'd tell me.
I'm not sure how long I layed there in his room, but he came in eventually and stopped to look at me. "I enjoy seeing you on my bed." He told me with nonchalance.
I flushed at him and smiled as he slipped off his shoes, dropping himself beside me on the bed, eyes still on mine.
"So," He said.
"So?"
"What do they say?" He meant the letters.
I shrugged. "That he'd be here soon, and that he loves me," I ended up smiling widely, looking at the letters with so much relief, so much love. I was so happy.
I wanted to hug my father, so I settled for throwing my arms around Charlie and he rolled over, having me pressed over him. "I'm so happy." I said with an embarrassed laugh.
He held me back, touching my hair. "I like seeing you happy." He told me deeply and I looked up at him, seeing something cross his mind and his eyes looked concerned for a second.
"What," I asked.
"James." He said back, a little grumpily.
"What about James?" I pressed boredly.
He narrowed his eyes at me, suspicion showing on his handsome face. "He asked you on a date."
It caught me by surprise. "He asked me to be a date, there's a difference." I said, sensing his possession and not taking it happily. "It doesn't mean anything."
"I think he likes you."
I flushed and he reached to touch my cheek, but I pushed his hand away and rolled off him, sitting up and looking at him. "You could never be as wrong as you are right now." I told him in amusement.
"It's not funny, Diana. I'm serious."
"So am I." I growled back, setting the mess of handwritten letters on the nightstand beside me.
"He looks at you a certain way."
"He's close with me, Charlie. He's been in my life for so long, James is just another brother. We've gone together as dates to things before, it never means anything." I could tell as I was speaking he got even more unconvinced, eyes darkening while I ended my statement. I was frustrated.
"I think he likes you." He repeated.
Now I was getting angry.
I stood up passively and headed to his living room with him following me. "Why are you walking away?" He asked in exhaustion.
"Because you're being an idiot."
I know I was getting him mad, but I was annoyed at the sudden jealousy that shown in his eyes. I knew for a fact James didn't see me as anything else but a friend. Not even, he saw me as a sister. "You want me to sit back while you go on a date with someone else who likes you?" He was laced with aggression.
"He doesn't like me," I said blandly. "And it's not a date." I stopped and turned to him. "Why am I explaining myself to you? This is stupid." I shook my head and kept walking, seeing his library was opened and entering, immediately starting on his books.
Truthfully, I had no reason to explain myself to this man. We were just friends after all. I owed him nothing, and I continued to tell myself that as he insisted to his mother we were friends yet looked at me as if I belonged to him.
"I don't want you to go with him." He said lowly.
I turned my head and looked at him in shock. I couldn't tell if I was extremely pissed off or flattered. "Well I am." I turned back around to face the bookshelves, ignoring the loving pull that made me want to kiss him.
"Diana, don't go." His voice made me jump and I turned my head again to look at him, seeing he was right behind me now, eyes pleading at me.
"Why not?" I asked, confusion taking over me. He was being so vulnerable, so weak-seeming. I tried to see past it and saw jealous Charlie, pressed over me on my bed and telling me he didn't want me to like Andy.
"I don't want you being with someone else." Now his voice ducked in embarrassment, his ears tinging red. I suddenly found him like a little boy, this shy grownman who was embarrassed by his jealousy.
I sighed at him, turning around to face him fully and reaching for his hands. It suddenly confused and hurt me to still hear him say it. That means I was deliberately hurting himself as well as myself. Yet... we are just friends.
"I wish you saw it how I do. It's like me going out with Chris, or Bailey. It's just a last-minute thing." I told him softly.
He laced both hands through mine and looked down at our intertwined fingers. "I'm usually not a jealous person." He grumbled, barely audible and not meeting my eyes.
I love you.
"Jealous or not, I'm going."
He unknowing pouted again, eyes glaring at our hands. "I feel like he likes you."
"He doesn't."
"How do you know that? You don't hear how he talks about you. He adores you, even Tyler talks about you." He took a step closer to me, our feet barely touching, and his eyes shyly meeting mine. It was a completely different side of Charlie and I had a feeling I wasn't the only one surprised by the outburst. "You don't know how frustrating it is to keep my own words in. When they talk about how bright you are, they have no idea. They don't know like I do."
I felt my face heating up at his words and let out a sigh, releasing my hands from his and pressing my palms to his face. "You annoying man." I admired.
He tugged me closer. "Work with me, Diana. These feelings are all new to me." He admitted, shyly again and I couldn't control the laugh the I let out. He glared at me.
I love you, Charlie.
I wanted to tell him, saying the words and hear him say it back. But I didn't know what he'd do. I wasn't even sure if he thought of me so deeply, and his look temporarily had me fooled. But I knew the truth.
"Let me work on this bookshelf."
"Do I have permission to read his letters?"
He meant my dad.
I smiled. "I guess."
He smiled back. It felt like so long since I saw those perfect lips quirk up. "I want to meet him."
"You will soon." A grin erupted.
"I need to learn how it is he makes you so happy." He pinched my chin and I flushed again.
"You make me happy."
He smiled again. "You make me happier."
Before I knew it, his lips were on mine and I suddenly jumped, wrapping my legs around his waist taking him by surprise.
He carried me to his desk, plopping me down and kissed me roughly. I missed his affection, and it frightened me how I always wanted it. I loved this guy.
He tugged on my hair and I tightened around him, feeling him so suddenly turned on. "Bed," He said but I stayed where I was, tugging him harder onto me.
"No, here." I breathed out and he stopped, staring back at me, trying to understand me with those dark warm eyes.
He listened, always distracting me from his bookshelf.
Afterwards his desk was a mess and I blushed in embarrassment. He helped me slip my shirt back on."Are you turning kinky on me, now?" He asked huskily, kissing me in such a sexual way it made me want him again.
"Kinky," I scoffed when he moved to my neck. "Charlie don't start again, do you want this room to be a mess?"
He whistled against me and chuckled warmly. "Diana, I think I see the sex goddess in you." He nibbled my ear and I flushed again, pushing him back.
"Stop doing this to me." I demanded.
He nuzzled his head in my neck and, once again, laced his fingers through mine. "Only if you stop doing this to me, first."
My heart warmed at his words. He had no idea what he did to me, how my hatred for touchiness was shoved to the side just for him. I loved him so much, and it was a first time for me. The first time I loved a man other than my father and brothers.
...
When he finally left me to his bookshelf to go work on his own things, I was halfway through, done for the day and going to the living room, seeing he was on the phone. He looked so grumpy, so into what he was talking about and he spoke with an angry face. Hard and mean, and just an hour or so ago, he was staring at me with such affection. I was lucky to be the only person to witness his sweet and gentle ways.
He saw me and his face went soft again, reaching for my hand and spinning me around, still on the phone with whoever it was.
"Alright, Brandon... I have to go," His mean tone vanished and he sounded casual, eyes on me. "Bye."
He hung up and threw his phone carelessly on the couch. "What is this beautiful person doing standing in front of me, in my apartment?" He asked half-jokingly.
I looked around playfully, "Where?" I asked cluelessly and he rolled his eyes.
"Sandwiches." He said, sauntering into the kitchen while yanking on my hand.
I hugged his neck from behind, jumping on his back and surprisingly he was prepared for it, hands gripping my thighs effortlessly. "That's cute," He said.
"What?"
"Your failed attempt of attack."
I laughed into his neck and we played like children for the rest of the day.
He eventually drove me out to his garden and we layed out in the grass with a large comforter over us, covering the cold. "I wish I was funny." I heard him mutter.
I chuckled at him, "Why?"
He snuggled into me, reminding me of a sweet and needly child. The smell of flowers surrounded us and I faintly watched as the scene collided together, the sunset, the vivid flowers, him. "So I could hear your laugh more."
I felt the heat in me rise and wondered how it was this once mean and intimidating man hated me, the angry and bitter teacher who was holding onto me so tightly and using my chest as a pillow. Who knew I would be one to fall in love with someone who is forbidden? Oh, the trouble we'd be in...
...
"Mr. Grant! Mr. Grant!" I woke to an old and dainty looking woman hovering over the two of us under covers.
I looked at Charlie, seeing he was rubbing his eyes sleepily. He looked up at the woman. "Mr. Grant, I need to start tending to the garden. Do you need me to call your mother?" She asked in concern.
He stretched back comfortable and tugged me closer to him, making me wonder how we switched positions. "Ah... No, I drove here myself, Mrs. Johnson. Thanks though." He spoke with amusement etched in his voice.
I slid under the covers more, embarrassed by him being so openly touchy in front of this woman. "Oh how rude can you be? Making this poor girl probably get sick in this cold weather."
I knew for a fact the weather was in the low forties, and my jacket was not thick enough to warm me like he did. He sat up while she spoke.
"I'm Katy Johnson, by the way. The gardener and his former babysitter." She held her small gloved hand out to me.
I laughed at him and he nudged me over. "I'm Diana Apollo." I said back, shaking her hand.
"Pleased to meet you, Miss Apollo." She spoke politely.
I smiled, "Call me Diana."
"Oh, you finally found a girl, never thought this day would come." She said sweetly.
I laughed again. "Same."
He rolled his eyes. "Now if you don't leave now, I might have to call your mother." She joked.
"Alright, alright." He said, standing up and leaving the cold air to strike me uncomfortably, causing me to shudder. He reached down, making me think he was going to take the covers, but instead scooping me into his arms as I tightened the comforter around me.
"Bye, Mr. Grant. I hope to see you at Savannah's party." She said kindly.
He turned and nodded. "Uh, yeah I'll be there."
He turned back around and headed to his car with me cradled in his arms, but not before stopping and turning to her again. "Oh, and Mrs. Johnson?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Soon this garden will be in the name of Diana Apollo." He said proudly, and he turned on his heel after I flushed deeply from his confidence, and taking in her look of both shock and being impressed.
He set me in his car and got in the driver's side. "I haven't seen her in a while." He said awkwardly.
"I like her."
"Yeah, she likes you too." He said as he pulled out, bouncing in the gravel and heading to his apartment. "Just like everyone else." he grumbled, making me cross my arms.
"Don't start."
"Are you still going tonight?" He meant the dinner.
"Yes, I am."
He huffed, hands tightening around the wheel. "Just don't let him touch you." He growled.
I stared at him in awe and laughed, "What the hell?"
"I mean it."
"Charlie, you're the only one allowed to touch me." Andy completely slipped my stupid mind. I took his hand from the wheel and he immediately laced his with mine. I unwound out fingers and set it on my thigh. "You're the only one allowed to touch me here," I then moved his hand down to my knee, then back up, watching as he stiffened. "Here," I set his hand on my belly and inched up to my chest. "Here," I lowered his hand to inbetween my thighs and hovering over there, making him squirm in the driver's side. "And here." I removed my hands just when we got above the button of my jeans.
"Tease." He grumbled.
"Tease? I'm not teasing. I've given you permission." I told him, seeing as his eyes watched me.
His hand hovered over me and I watched him. "You are driving-"
"I'll drive slow." He said quickly.
I raised my hands in surrender, "Go for it then."
In the car it worried me we'd get into a crash with him teasing me, but eventually he got impatient and pulled over.
...
"Did you take your pill?" Charlie asked as I stretched out on his kitchen counter, reading comfortably.
I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes. "Yes."
"Good, fuck condoms."
I smiled and continued reading a book, eventually having to leave.
I hopped off the bar and stretched. "Well, Charlie," I picked up my things. "I've gotta go."
He frowned, "Getting ready for the dinner?"
I nodded and he stepped forward. "Don't be angry." I sighed, seeing the fury slowly rise in his caramel eyes.
His locked with mine and he held my shoulders tightly, "Don't. Let him. Touch you."
"Why are you-"
"He can't have what's mine, Diana."
My heart pounded as the blood rushed to my face. He looked down at our feet in what I saw again, was embarrassment. His ears turned red and I wanted to melt at his words.
But that wasn't me. I hated clingy, I hated possessive. But for some reason I loved it so much that he called me his.
I saw he was fixing to pull away, but I grabbed his hands and wrapped them around me. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but it wasn't right. I wanted to be positive he felt it, too. "No, he can't." I agreed and he lifted his head from the ground to look at me with his relieved eyes, tightening his arms around my waist and kissing me.
...
"Looking classy, real classy." James admired and threw an arm around me while we began walking to his car. I was only in a dress and nude pumps. If anything, I looked casual.
He looked nice too, he always looked nice. He was a handsome guy, tall like Charlie and wore a suit and a tie, grabbing my hand as we walked in and walked quickly, trying to keep me at his side.
When we finally entered the ballroom he let out a relieved breath, "Ready Diana?"
I nodded and he turned to face me completely.
"Alright, now listen carefully. I don't know what it is, but you have this thing where you attract wealthy business men who are pretty damn old."
"He's not that old..." I muttered and he held up a hand to stop me from speaking.
"Stay close to me. Some men out here might get the wrong idea if..." He looked up behind me as if in surprise. Then stepping forward to say quietly, "I didn't know he was a part of this dinner, too."
I turned and immediately locked eyes with Andy, who dropped his business expression and smiled at me. I didn't hold back my own smile when I saw him coming toward me, leaving the other men in expensive looking suits behind.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here." He said, pulling me to him and embraced me intimately.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here either." I told him in honesty, releasing a chuckle.
He reached up and fiddled with the necklace he gave me, I had remembered to wear it that day. "You're wearing it." His smile widened and I was surprised when he leaned down and kissed me, in front of everyone.
I blushed after he pulled away, seeing there was an invisible spotlight shining on the two of us. James cleared his throat behind me, reminding me he was there and I turned, Andy having to release me from his hold. "Andy, this is James. James, Andy." I introduced them and they shook hands.
"Brother?" Andy asked.
"No, friend." James said casually, being the nice guy he was.
"You wouldn't mind if I came around to swoop your date later for a second, would you?" Andy asked respectfully and linked a finger in mine, causing shocks to rise in my heart.
James smirked. "No, not at all. I was actually just warning her to stay close, there're quite a lot of pigs in this room."
Andy nodded with his charming laugh. "That's very true." He looked at me, "I'll see you around, you look beautiful by the way." He was backing up like a teenage boy, grinning his million dollar smile at me and brightening the whole room and releasing my finger from his, his voice booming to let everyone else hear his intimacy with me.
I smiled back. "Thank you. Don't be a stranger." I called back playfully and he laughed boyishly, turning and straightening his suit, going back to the business star he was, only that big happy grin still on his face. He went to his coworkers or whoever they were to him and they leaned over to look at me behind Andy who seemed to call their attention to something else.
"Is that... He was... He was acting like such a boy-in-love just now. Is that really Andy Carl?" James asked standing beside me in awe.
I just shrugged and he shook his head, looping our arms together and walking around. He found his boss and introduced me, having him bombard me questions about Andy, asking how we met and how long we've been together.
James and I stayed together and kept to ourselves for that time, because since everytime we'd talk to someone Andy's name was always mentioned.
James laughed. "Good story for the guys."
Charlie.
"Uh, James, can we keep this between us?" I asked quietly as we sat down.
He rolled his eyes playfully, "Alright. Our secret. Why, do they think you've stopped seeing him or something?"
I coughed uncomfortably. "Uh, yeah."
"I won't tell." He promised, eyes darting up. "Oh- here comes the big boy now." He said jokingly.
I felt hands press on my shoulders and I looked up, meeting Andy's cool eyes. "Do you mind?" He asked James politely.
James shook his head in amusement as Andy helped me up, holding my hand as we walked away. "Don't keep her for too long, alright?" James called jokingly, heads turning and Andy nodded.
He led me out some doors with my hands in his and he sweetly kissed me. "I feel like I haven't seen you in eternity." He said, lips against mine and causing goosebumps on my skin.
"I know." I said back, kissing him again.
"I have a New Years party to attend to, and I want to kiss you when the ball drops." He said romantically, brushing my hair back gently. "Will you go with me?"
I opened my mouth to say yes, excitement rushing through me, but then the reminder of having forgotten something stopped me. I was with Charlie and his family on New Years. "I'm sorry," I tried to keep my fallen expression strong and normal, but I couldn't help feel the disappointment in my gut when I told him, "I have plans."
He smiled, "That's alright. Don't feel bad, Diana." He chuckled.
The disappointment caused a domino effect of guilt eating at me, and I was confused by it. I was going to be with the man I had fallen in love with, and his family. Why was I upset?
Staring back at the hypnotic calmness of Andy's eyes, listening to the sound of shuffling leaves against the trees from the wind, having his hands on me... I realized I had fallen for Andy, too. "I'm sorry." I sighed out again, emotion shooting at me for loving two completely different men. I wanted to cry.
I wanted to cry because how could I possible want two very different people so badly I kept it to myself for so long? This is the point where I continue making things worse for myself. How could I let this happen?
Andy took my face in his hands, "What's wrong?" He asked in concern.
I smiled, "Nothing."
"Would you like to spend New Years with me tonight?"
I laughed, "What?"
"We'll pretend that tomorrow is the first of January. We'll drink good wine and eat breakfast or something, and I'll steal some of Toby's movies."
I didn't bother to contain the giddy grin that came to me when thinking about a night with Andy, eating breakfast for dessert and watching Fight Club, Andy's favorite movie. "Can I take a guess in what we're gonna watch?" I asked in excitement.
He mirrored my smile, our faces so close our noses almost touched. "You'll never guess." He joked, finally kissing me again and hugging me as if he missed me. It was comfortable and tight, being tucking into him without reminder of his money or fame to block our relationship out.
I remembered something and looked up to meet his eyes. "Andy, do you remember that convention in Dallas, when they took pictures of us? What happened to those?" I asked in curiosity.
"I payed them off, so they won't be in the tabs or anything. I didn't think you wanted that attention."
I laughed again, "Oh yeah that's completely different from kissing me in front of a ton of high-class business people."
I saw as he grinned in amusement, but I also saw as his face turned brighter in color. What is with these sudden shy men? "Right- sorry, I got excited." He admitted.
I blushed also, seeing he really was happy to see me, shamelessly forgetting everyone else in the room and just embracing me.
We let go and he held my hand as we approached the balcony of the ballroom, where he lifted me up and sat me down on the stone edge. He stood between my legs and looked up at me in admiration, the moon glinted in his eyes and I loved how different he made me feel when he looked at me. Charlie did the same, but it was a different different. So was Andy. They were just so different.
"You're friend is so much older than you." He suddenly said, joking suspicion.
I grabbed his face, "Yes, he's my brothers' bestfriend. I guess you could say he's like my brother, too."
He smiled in my hands, and I savored the oppurtunity to watch this stern and efficient business man- one serious millionare- smile at me like a happy little boy.
He was so cute in my hands then, standing with his hands resting on my thighs with his prestinely cut hair blowing lightly in the cold wind.
I ran a hand through his hair and admired him back, watching as he closed his eyes, smile still there. He breathed deeply. "You make me forget responsibilities." He said dreamily.
I chuckled lightly, "Isn't that a bad thing."
His eyes fluttered open and his hands explored lightly along my legs up to the sliders I wore underneath my dress. "No. It's just what I need."
We were both relaxed then, the wind light and cool, his warm hands, my warm hands, his sweet eyes.
"Diana," He said.
I leaned into his soft voice, loving the sound of my name.
"I-"
"Excuse me-" Someone cleared their voice at the balcony doors. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr. Carl.." The man said uncomfortably as Andy turned to face him.
"What is it?" Andy asked patiently, stonefaced-business expression back. He still stood between my legs and I put my hand on his shoulder tell him to move forward so I could get down.
He turned back to me and held my hand, helping me to my feet. "Photographers are trying to come in, they heard about- um..." The mans eyes shifted to me and I saw Andy sigh, his expression drop as he faced me once again.
"I'm sorry Diana-"
"Don't worry about it." I said with a smile, having him kiss my forhead.
"Will you come by the apartment or would you like me to pick you up?"
"I'll drive there." I said, still aware of the man standing at the threshold looking very nervous and impatient.
"And Mr. Carl?" He said, making Andy turn away from me once more.
"Yes, Brooks." Empty and patient voice, it was the voice of authority and it caught me off guard.
"Your speech is needed in the presentation, which is going on now."
Andy sighed, nodding the man off and holding my hand as we entered the building again. Luckily, everyone was paying attention to a presenter with a bold tone almost like Andy's.
He hugged me close, and James spotted me, walking over. "Sorry we didn't get to talk much- I forgot about the speech." He chuckled nonchalantly, bending down and touching my hair.
I smiled, "It seems I am a bad influence on you, Mr. Carl." I teased. "I make you forget responsibilities."
He grinned, "That you do." And a quick peck on my lips, I realized James was already beside us. "Take care of her." He told James as he walked to the back stage, straightening his suit.
James stared at me with unusual widened eyes. I raised an eyebrow. "Did you really almost make Andy Carl miss his spotlight speech?"
I blushed.
He laughed, "Alright, let's listen and get out of here."
I walked with him happily in agreement. Andy did amazing, he always did. There was a glint in his eyes as he spoke, too. I kept having to remind myself that he likes me. This rich and successful man likes me, and I was only a young girl who was in love.
When he was done it seemed the entire world applauded him. He stepped down and James told me it was time to go. I locked eyes with Andy, one last time before escaping with James.
It was okay, though. I'd be back with Andy soon enough.
...