The stupid freaking Career Week was ending and I walked to Mr. Joseph's room for tutoring Friday afternoon. He smiled at me and I returned it, so relieved to know a teacher who likes me and doesn't hate me.
When we got started, I couldn't find it in me to concentrate, and after Mr. Joseph called my name a few more times I looked at him. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I-"
"What's going on with you, Diana?"
I would be rich if people payed to ask me that.
"Nothing-"
"Please, let me say something first." He began, closing the text book and looking at me in concern. "I know you're not okay. I can tell something has been troubling you, and I want you to know that love takes so much time. I know you don't want to hurt him, either."
I shook my head quickly, a casual fake smile on my face. "No, Andy loves me-"
"My dear, I'm not talking about Andy Carl." He suddenly said, making me stop in confusion.
Then...
"I don't know what you're talking about..." I said cluelessly, secretly hoping I really didn't. I hoped he didn't mean what I thought he meant.
"I'm talking about Charles, Diana."
My entire insides froze.
My heart then thumped in fear after stopping and I knew I probably looked like a little girl, wide-eyed, shocked, and pale. I had no idea what to say and he only rolled his eyes.
"You two really thought I was that oblivious to what was going on?"
He knows. Holy shit, he knows.
I still couldn't find it in me to speak. "That time you two were in tutoring, and I walked in seeing you both so nervous. And him so happy."
That was the time we were kissing in his rolling chair.
"And then asking about New Years." He laughed loudly. "I heard you talking about it as soon as I shut the door." Then his face went a little serious. "And now you're not together anymore." He said, almost asking why.
I sighed, burying my head in hands. Instead of the fear controlling me, I actually felt relief. He was the only person I could talk to about it. And I trusted him so much, knowing that he wouldn't tell a soul. Especially since he hadn't told anyone before.
"I love him." I said with a quiet sigh after removing my hands and looking at him.
He gave me a small smile. "I know, I figured."
I took a deep breath. "He can't love me, Jo."
Mr. Joseph raised an eyebrow and I answered his unasked question, "He doesn't believe in love." I said a little shyly, embarrassed at how immature and inexperienced I sounded.
"I don't understand."
"We were talking about it one night, and I was about to tell him. But then he talked about how his father didn't believe in it, and then he said he didn't either."
"That's why you ended things?"
I gulped. "Not exactly..." I mumbled. "I was kind of... Also seeing Andy at the same time."
Jo didn't gasp; nor did he gawk at me. Instead he gave me the most understanding look I'd ever seen, and it made me so thankful I was talking about it. It was exactly what I needed, and it hurt to keep it all inside.
Mr. Joseph gave me a look, telling me to continue on. "And Andy said he loves me... And..." I went on to explain to him about Claire, and how she was good for him. He just nodded as I spoke, understanding everything and making me feel like I was being assisted in the incline station at the gym, lifting twenty-fives on the guy bar. All that weight was just becoming less and less.
When I finished telling him what was going on presently, he took my hands in his. "He still has feelings for you." Was what he said first. "Wednesday, in the auditorium, he looked like he wanted to murder Andy Carl. And when Andy spoke to you, did you see the way he looked at you and him?"
I bit my lip to avoid the quivering. I wanted to cry. I hadn't cried in so long, but it wasn't time for that. I should be happy, I was in a happy relationship.
That's what I needed, Andy.
"I know he does," I said honestly. "But I know he'll learn to like Claire, and Andy loves me." Was the only thing I could say back.
"He's hurting terribly, Diana. Can't you see that?" Mr. Joseph said, in a pleading voice. But in honesty I knew better. He listened to me, and it was true. He would soon be over me and with Claire. She'd give him the life he needs.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Joseph." I said, standing and gathering my things. "I should get going." He stood up giving me a loving embrace and for a second it felt like I had kind of talked to my father. Only, I didn't really get advice.
When I was leaving I had to pass Mr. Grant's room, and I heard him on the phone. His door was cracked. "...Yeah, sounds good." He didn't sound angry. He didn't sound bitter. He sounded... Calm. "I'll see you at my place then? Bye, Claire."
I turned around and quietly walked around the school, taking the long way to my car, vision being blurred by tears that hadn't yet fallen. I refused to cry over this. I did it to myself, and I should be thankful they were working out.
He sounded so casual... His voice, as if he'd said it many times before. I got to my jeep and at the corner of my eye, saw his car. I always noticed it on the other side of the parking lot. Just mine and his, the only ones parked in that lot after school hours.
I got into my drivers seat and played with the necklace I wore, for some reason feeling as if it was heavier than before. More expensive, more bright. After ridding my painful thoughts, and escaping the tears that luckily didn't fall once.
...
"Diana!" Andy sang from the bathroom one Saturday morning, about to leave for a breakfast meeting and he tightened his tie in the mirror while I was still in his bed, groaning at his happy voice. "Do you want to meet my parents?" He suddenly asked with joy, falling onto the bed beside me, clean and shaven.
I rubbed my eyes, still half asleep and not yet comprehending what he was asking. Then I realized, and my eyes flew open. "What?"
He smiled. "I mean, my dad is away on business, but I told my mom about you and she's been bugging me to bring you over."
I sat up, looking down at him lying and staring up at me. "Really?"
"Yeah, you haven't met either of my parents yet." I still just stared at him. "So... yes or no?" He asked, seeming a little shy.
I smiled. "I'd love to meet your mom." I said as he sat up, too, wrapping his arms around me.
"I love you." He said with honest eyes.
"I love you, too." I said back, matching his dumb smile and kissing his jaw.
"You always make it hard to leave, let go." He chuckled and I obeyed, watching him go with a smile.
"Have fun at work." I said in a small teasing voice, knowing he was quite unhappy with having to go to a meeting on a Saturday.
I was kind of bored.
When the time came, meeting Andy's mom was incredibly fun. And he was so excited, constantly kissing me randomly with that smile of his.
"What's with you?" I chuckled playfully.
He turned and looked in the mirror, running a hand through his messy hair and straightening out his jacket. Finally, his eyes met mine. "She's gonna love you." He said genuinely.
It made me excited.
When we got there, I was welcomed with open arms and in this woman's embrace I saw her familiar blue eyes shine at me with love. "It's so wonderful to finally meet you." She seemed to groan out. When she stepped back I got a better look at her; seeing she was incredibly beautiful and young. She almost looked like she was in her twenties.
"You, too." I replied with equal excitement.
"Come on, I cooked just for you guys!" She said, pulling Andy along after he hugged her and kissed her. I could tell he was a mama's boy, and it was adorable to watch. It actually made the pull to him stronger.
He looked at her in confusion. "You cook?"
"On special occasions." She made eye contact with me. "And this is a very special occasion."
He only shook his head with a smile and we sat down while she served us our food. Andy just looked even more confused. "Where's everybody?"
At first I thought he meant Toby, but learned he was meaning the housemaids and cooks who worked in their giant house.
"I told them I could take care of my guests today."
Her son who sat beside me looked impressed. "Wow, I didn't expect this." He said, but seeming completely okay with it all the same.
It was a casual lunch, and his mother was really... well I was expecting her to be like Erin's mother. Rich and self-absorbed, and I felt bad for believing that. Luckily she was the opposite. She was warm and careless, very down-to-earth, happy and beautiful. And Andy adored her. She was so incredibly sweet.
"Just tell me when he's mean and I'll knock some sense into him." she eventually said, making me laugh because the thought of Andy being mean just amused me. I've seen him protective, and that was the only time I was drunk with Erin and Connor. And I've seen him emotionless and superior- business-like. That was when he spoke to co-workers.
But with me things were different. "I will, but I don't think he's capable of being mean." I said.
Andy smiled at his mother with triumph and he seemed like a teenager. His mother teasing him, making us food, telling me stories.
"Then I've taught him well." She said, patting him on the shoulder.
Eventually when we had to leave; I didn't want to leave.
We were getting ready to go back to his place when Toby had just gotten home. "Diana, hey!" He said surprise.
"Hey," I said back when we shared a hug.
He seemed a bit gloomy at how we were just leaving, but said he'd stop by my house one day to hangout with the guys and Erin with me. I winked at him when he brought up Erin.
His mom said her goodbyes and whispered to me, "I'm so glad Andy found someone." And she begged to see more of me.
It almost reminded me of how Charlie's mom once told me something similar about how it was a surprise to everyone. But I left him, and he had someone else.
It was after one night with Andy where everything just turned around on me. I know he didn't want for it to happen, but it did. And I couldn't completely blame his father for that. It was also on myself.
He had been seeming stressed around February and that was when I knew something was up. He began holding onto me tighter at night, and started to argue on the phone more. I never knew what it was about, I just heard his voice become angry and he often talked away from me. It stopped soon, but it left me uneasy.
I asked him what was going on.
"It's nothing, I swear." He said.
Andy never lied to me before, so I was of course offended when he did then. I stared at him in disbelief and he heaved a sigh. "It's not important."
"Then you can tell me." I urged, and he leaned forward on the couch and buried his head in his hands miserably.
"Diana, I love you so much."
I sighed, taking his beautiful face. "I know, and I love you too."
"I don't want to tell you." He said in honesty. "It's stupid."
I rolled my eyes. "But you're gonna tell me anyway."
"Fine." He then grumbled, "I really don't want to, though." With a deep breath that seemed to be for assurance and stalling, he spoke.
"I've had a fiancee."