Hello everybody! I hope you like it so far. School had started back up again as well as cross country season, so I don't know how much writing I'll be able to get done. What I do know is that I will try my best to upload every six days, like always and be on time.
This chapter is in my opinion where the story begins to mold itself and it introduces some extra characters. Tell me what you think, and thanks for reading â¥
-cilla
Over the weekend, I finished most of my homework and did nothing. I literally did nothing but lay down and make myself miserable. I layed in the middle of my living room and in the morning my brothers came by and picked a few things up, and asked me what was wrong.
"Nothing. If something was wrong, I'd be fixing it." I told them.
It was almost ten o'clock at night and they were back.
"You're still on the floor?" Bailey asked and hit the light switch, burning my eyes. I groaned and turned over.
"Hey Diana." My brothers' friend, James, said to me. He's been their friend for as long as I can remember, and basically my brother. He was just as protective as them.
"Hi." I said.
"Did you even eat?" Chris came over and asked.
"No, did you bring me something?"
"Yeah, come sit down." Austin said, sitting at the dinner table and setting out fast food.
I layed for a second, trying to gather back all my strength to get up when Bailey stood over me and held out his hands. I took them and he pulled me up effortlessly. "I hope you're not still mad at me..." He said.
Bailey was always the first brother to apologize, and he was always the first one I forgave. I gave him a quick smile, knowing if I didn't he'd feel bad for the rest of the night. "It's alright, Bailey."
He smiled happily and pushed me towards the table. "Let's eat."
They brought Whataburger, and something inside of me jumped with quick happiness. "Ah, look at her, she's happy." James said to Austin and they laughed. My brothers were much more layed back with James around, he was just that kind of guy.
I ignored them and sat down to eat. Very well aware that I probably had calc homework to be done.
...
Monday crept around the corner faster than I expected. I woke up forgetting for a second about my organized tutoring.
It was the usual morning routine for me. Take a shower, let my hair air dry. Get dressed, and leave.
I stopped by Racetrack to get coffee- and was one of the first to because it was a Free Week for coffee. Whatever size, whatever type, it was free. When I got mine and another for someone else, I drove to the public library. I liked to wake up earlier than usual so I could do that exact thing.
"Morning Diana!" Alexa, the front desk lady, said to me with a yawn. I stood in front of her and returned the book I had checked out before.
"Morning! Tired?" I asked when I set out the cup of coffee for her. She nodded with a smile and took the book back, then searched under her desk for the book I had on hold and soon checked it out for me. "You're so sweet, thank you so much." She said with relief.
"It's no problem, have a good day."
Heading to school with such hesitation, I got to my first period in time. I sat down and easily learned everything we were supposed to in IB Literature. But that was nothing unusual.
"Diana, comere' for a minute." My english teacher, Mrs. Joy, said while holding out our most recent assignment. It was a personal narrative that's supposed to have a life lesson.
I wrote it about my dad, and how loneliness can change you like no other. And how the military can too. All in all, the life lesson was take your time as a teenager, because it's the most free you ever really be.
"I know I shouldn't be asking this, but this isn't true, right?" She asked me in all seriousness.
I stared back at her, not knowing what to say. Would she pity me if I told her? I couldn't just lie about it, because it was true. "Actually, it is." I told her calmly.
Her eyes widened a bit more, and sat back in her chair. "And how does that... What do you do? Where do you live, who do you live with?"
I tried not to be taken aback by her sudden questions, so I answered them. "I live in the same house my dad bought when they moved here. And I techincally don't live alone, my brothers come over almost every day to check on me."
"How old are they? Why don't they live with you?"
"The youngest is twenty-three, the middle is twenty-four, and the oldest is twenty-six. They come over all the time so they kind of do..."
She didn't say anything until finally she smiled at me. "Well, are you happy?"
That was when I smiled back. I couldn't remember the last time someone actually wanted to know that, if I was happy. I knew for sure I had people all around who cared about me, but for some reason when she asked me that it made me really thankful that she was my teacher. "Yes, I'm very happy."
She nodded and the bell rang, so she wrote me a pass to my next class.
...
When lunch came around, I sat with my friends. "It's been a while," My friend Erin said to me.
"Yeah, sorry guys. It's been... I've been busy." I said, but in some honesty. In truth, though, laying on the floor all day wasn't really keeping me all that occupied. I luckily forgot about that.
"So what's up?" Ammon, a guy friend of Erin's asked, and in an instant any trace of disappointment or anger was gone from them and we all talked like old friends. I felt like a teenager again.
Soon lunch was over, and so was history, and bio, and now I was headed to my last class of the day.
Calculus.
I walked in with a girl named Claudia on my tail, asking me constant questions about Ryan. He wasn't there yet, so she continued shooting questions at me. "How could you reject him? What, do you want attention or something?" She asked in all honesty. She wasn't my friend at all. She was talking to me because she just thought it was so ridiculous that I said no to Ryan's offer to go to the party that happened the previous Friday. The one I missed, purposely.
"Sure." I said, dismissively, trying to read a book, but she kept bugging me.
"Answer honestly!"
"Claudia, why does it matter so much that I didn't want to go to a party with him?"
"No one turns him down. Everyone likes Ryan, how could you say no?" She kept slamming her hands on my book and I pushed them off, tired of everyone.
"I don't like parties where everyone is getting high and drunk and my date is too." I shook my head.
"Why not?"
"They're ridiculous."
"Do you not like Ryan?"
"No."
Suddenly, all the girls turned their heads to me in shock. I straightened up and opened up my book again, fixing my eyes onto the words. "Why? Are you stupid?"
"Yes." I said distractedly, reading and trying to block out her stupid questions.
"Diana!" She said, taking the book away from me.
I sighed, it was getting ridiculous. "He's a boy."
"What, are you a lesbian or something?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "No, he's like a child. An immature boy."
"What does that mean?"
"She likes men." Someone answered for me and I saw Toby Carl winking at me, and I looked at him, completely confused, but then I remembered that the guy I lost my virginity to was his brother. Who was much older than the both of us.
"What do you mean..?" Claudia asked as Ryan and a few others were walking in last minute.
I was gonna tell her she would be late to her class, but I saw the glint in Toby's eyes and I spoke to him instead. "No Toby-" He cut off both my warning tone and eyes.
"My brother got to live the dream of many other guys."
Ryan looked in confusion and I shot Toby a look. But he didn't shut up. "They slept together."
All eyes were on me and the room was silent and I stared at the clock, praying it would tick faster so this would be over and Mr. Grant would speak with his anger and scare everyone to silence.
"Isn't he like, ten years older than you?" Toby's friend asked me and I wanted to hide my bright red face.
"Seven." Toby corrected.
"Is it even true?" Claudia asked in shock.
"Of course it is, look at her face." Toby's friend laughed and I just ignored everyone for a while.
"When?"
"Last year," Toby answered. "Told you she likes men. Andy told me himself."
The bell rung while Toby spoke something inappropriate and I faintly heard him.
Claudia looked at me and raised her hand after it was silent. "High five, he's a rich and hot business man."
Everyone stared at her in worry. I almost felt Mr. Grant's angry face glaring at her.
"Why are you still here?" Ryan asked her in a whisper.
She backed up and left, fearful of my teacher's scary stare.
Everyone still shot me smirks and I looked over at a few girls who held up a journal that said, "Nice!!!" with hearts at the dots.
How did it happen? Well, it was a little odd, and very out of character for me to do, but we met at one of his business gatherings because my brothers were curious about his work. His father's software company had just been sent to him and he's still so young. He flirted with me and I was so attracted to him, so I let him take me to his gorgeous apartment. We joked around and faked an excuse that I was just drunk, but we both knew better. I felt so out of place, and I had a one-night-stand with someone I barely knew. I didn't regret it but I wasn't in 'love' with him either, sometimes when I saw him talking to photographers or fans or something on the streets, he'd smile at me. A sweet one, that made my face heat up with memories and I'd always smile back. Sometimes when no one was paying attention, or if no one saw him, he'd come up and playfully flirt with me, always exiting with a secretive kiss. I guess I'd always have that small crush on him from that night on.
Everyone knew who Andy Carl was. He was on the cover of the magazine, Young & Rich and was on TV multiple times.
He could get any girl he wants, but everyone knew how dedicated to his work he was. Everyone knew it was technically impossible to get a date with him, and although I was slightly proud that he chose me and treated me so well for just a night, I kept it to myself because my self-respect was very major. I was just weak for him. But it only happened once.
"Put your phones away, take your earphones out, and listen." My teacher's stern voice said.
And we began learning something I- once again- had no idea what he was talking about.
...
"Wow, I'm impressed." a couple of old friends told me when class ended and they were leaving.
I shook my head in embarrassment. "He doesn't even flirt with most women. I would know, I went to Toby's once and his brother was over and he ignored me. He acted like I wasn't important at all." But she smiled down at me and shook her head. "Wow!" She said again.
"Makes sense," Justin Voorhees said, waltzing over to us. He was cute, like Ryan. But he was like Ryan. And like everyother guy in my school. "The two most stubborn and hard-to-get people ending up together..."
"We're not together." I told them in a huff.
Stupid Toby was still there too, and everyone was surprisingly too distracted to realize I was still sitting in Mr. Grant's classroom.
"But you were." My friend, Kara said. I say my friend, when we only talk at school. Small talk. Boring talk. I wasn't very social in school.
"Nope." Toby interrupting, pulling me up and put a teasing arm around me and said loud enough for them to hear. "It was a one-night-stand."
"What? Diana? I don't believe that." Justin said that, but Toby was laughing by my ear and I shoved him away and smacked his arm.
Toby laughed again and they were about to leave after they said bye, but Toby stayed after to say one more thing, "Trust me. It was hard for me to believe it too, but on the bright side," He pinched my arm playfully but I only stood with a glare. "Andy still thinks about you."
I hit his arm again and he walked out with a cynical laugh.
Why didn't Mr. Grant say anything? Why didn't he tell them to leave his class room? Why didn't he tell them to shutup?!
I stayed it my seat and tapped my fingers on the desk. I turned my head and looked at him. He stopped typing on his computer and looked at me. I wondered when he was going to come over and tutor me.
We just stared at eachother for a while, his stare was the usual mean and hateful. Finally he spoke, "I'm not coming to you." He said.
I held back the urge to roll me eyes and heaved a sigh, picking up my stuff and dropping it in front if his desk, then pulling up a chair to sit by him.
Right away he went over everything he taught that same day and I still had trouble staying with him. He went by things so fast, it left me completely confused.
In between his explaining he stopped and asked, "Do you understand?" His stern voice told me to nod, but I was tired of not knowing anything in his classroom, so shook my head. He dropped his pen and looked at me with frustration. "What don't you understand?" It was a mean question, one probably calling me an idiot.
"Everything." I said, and he looked so angry I watched as he ran his hands over his face, probably trying not to yell at me.
"How?" He asked in frustration.
"You're going too fast!" I said back, matching his tone and although I gave up on being polite to him, he was still shocked at how I said it.
He was silent for a while, then backed up in his chair and layed his head back, looking like he was trying to calm himself. Then he rolled back to my side and started from the very beginning. He took it slower, making sure to emphasize any important things I needed to remember.
It actually helped.
He told me to work a few problems to see if I got the hang of it while he sent some emails. It annoyed me how everytime he turned in his chair it'd brush mine. And how he'd twirl his stupid pen between his fingers skillfully. He even tapped his foot sometimes and it became distracting. It was odd that I was much aware of how close he was when he leaned in and pointed things out and talked.
When he finished sending his emails he twisted in his chair again, twirling his pen again, tapping lightly. He watched me work them and said, "No, that's wrong." And he'd scoot in closer to fix what I did, this time making me understand what I did wrong.
"Oh..." I said quietly, erasing my errors and finishing the rest perfectly.
His phone rang while he spoke to me about the next step. "Hold on." He said, turning in his chair again. He still spoke to me bitterly, but I was beginning to ignore it because I realized how good it was for me to understand what I was doing. "Yeah," He answered quietly.
"...I'm not.." He groaned, with his hand on his forhead. "I have to go,"
I faintly heard a woman's voice asking why. "I'm busy!" He said irritatedly.
The woman said 'I love you' before he hung up and I heard him say quietly with fury, "Mom, stop calling, I'm fine." And he hung up and turned back to me, taking the paper from my hands and looking over it.
He was even rude to his mother. I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't take advantage of her caring, because one day when he's not okay, she won't be there.
But I kept my mouth shut and thought about my own mother, and stopped right away. Instead I took this time to read him. His extremely warming brown eyes narrowed in concentration and probably anger too. His large skillful hands held the sheet of paper with zero effort and his veins were visible. It was so sad that he was such a mean person, I was sure he'd have someone if he wasn't.
He looked up at me then looked away. "You got it." Was he said with a slight nod, then handed it back to me.
The time was about ten minutes after most tutoring was. "So... Can I go?" I asked.
He was putting stuff away and being loud. He obviously heard me but he was being such a stupid person and ignoring me. I sighed loudly and walked to my desk to gather my stuff.
"Yeah go." He finally said after I had my stuff together.
I was about to bolt out the door, but something stopped me and made me look at him. He was staring at the papers on his desk in stress and then looked up at me, feeling my stare. He always looked so angry. "Thank you Mr. Grant." I said casually and left swiftly. I felt like I was holding my breath when I got into my car and shivered. November was getting colder and colder.
But it was okay, because I could always go to my empty house. Alone, and cold made me sleepy.