"Thank god, you're home." Bailey breathed out, squeezing me tightly.
I awkwardly patted him on the back, hoping he saw that I was okay and unharmed. "Yes, I'm fine." I added on, just to be clear that I was exactly that. Fine.
"Where've you been?" Austin came out in a panic.
I opened my mouth to speak, but sure enough, nothing came out.
What was I supposed to tell them? I had just gotten back from being with their friend, who also happened to be my teacher. Remembering the look on his face as I left made my mood go dark, and I wondered how it would be if I told him I loved him before I left. I wondered if he would've return it, I'm sure he would have. I wondered how it would have been if I stayed and if I had kissed him.
I shook it off the best I could, and knew, as much as I loved Charlie, that I was just trying to cover up the feeling of... Of this sudden emptiness. I wouldn't ever see my dad, and I wondered when that thought would get old.
"Diana?" Austin snapped his fingers at me and I jumped, then shook my head.
"Yes, I'm fine."
"No, I was asking where you've been."
Dammit, I forgot.
"Just around." I was about to say Erin's, but something thought better of it. I'm not sure what that was either.
"Erin came by, she said you haven't been answering your phone."
That makes sense.
"I left it here." I began heading upstairs, but then I was stopped again.
"Dye, please." Austin sighed in exhaustion, taking my hand. "Stay in one place, your worrying us."
I stared at him in awe, for some reason suddenly fury hitting me like an eighteen wheeler, the anger at them all for being worried about me when he was their father as well. I snatched my hand away angrily and they backed up a small step, strangely fearful, and very aware at my sudden and serious switch in mood. "What the hell is wrong with the three of you?" I snapped, seeing them exchange confused looks. "You're worried for me? Seriously?" I laughed bitterly, actually scaring myself a little bit and thought I was about to cry again. "Stop bullshitting yourselves." I said loudly, my volume on the verge of a shout.
Chris' brows furrowed at my language and called my name sternly, about to scold me, but I stepped one step down the stairs and it shut him up. "He was your father, too! Stop acting like it doesn't phase you, stop making it look like I'm the only weak one." I began to shout, and I saw the look pass over each of them. I knew it, too. I was so incredibly right, they were ashamed to admit it. "Yes, I'm fucking sad, but what pisses me off the most, is that you're here patting my back like my hamster just died. All of you need to take your stupid guilt and forget about it, because if he was here he wouldn't give a damn about how you thought he was already dead. Stop feeling bad about yourselves and learn that it's okay for once to feel bad for yourselves."
After that, I spun around and stomped up the stairs, waiting in my room until I heard them all leaving. I checked my phone, seeing Erin called me a bunch of times, but left no texts. Connor texted, asking how I was doing, and saying he wanted to come over. Cole the same. I didn't know who to reply to first, so I went with my best friend. The one I had neglected the most.
But when I called her, she didn't answer, and instead knocked on my door.
I went down and opened the door, seeing her face for what felt like the first time in eternity and attacked her with a hug. She hugged me back, and suddenly I heard her crying into me. That's when I realized I was the one crying first. "I'm sorry, Erin." I said, finally.
And she let go of me, walking into the house. "What the fuck," She sniffed, wiping her face of tears with the back of her hand. "Why?" Her teary and honest eyes made my heart bubble with warmth, and I felt how much I had missed her.
"I've been keeping... so much from you." I said shyly. "And been the most shitty friend. You didn't deserve it."
She gave me a funny look, trying not to cry again and I laughed through more tears. We embraced again. "I love you, girl. And you know I forgive you. Just..." She sighed, leaning away and holding my hands. "Talk to me."
I did.
We were in my room. And I didn't know what to do. We started out talking about my painful goodbye with Andy, because she spotted the beautiful dress he gave me. That's when I knew I had to tell her about Charlie, because I had to tell who it was I cheated on Andy with. "I don't know where to start." I said with a sigh, and she shook in impatience, sitting on my bed in front of me.
"Who the hell did you cheat with? You're driving me fucking crazy! Who knew you had it in you?"
I scoffed softly, and shook my head. "You wouldn't believe me."
"Bitch, I already don't believe you." She joked.
I was quiet.
"Please, you know I'm only kidding."
I sighed.
"Who was it???" She nudged me eagerly.
"Mr. Grant." I told her, somehow able to get the name out of my mouth. Probably because I knew she wouldn't believe me.
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, this honestly isn't the time for sarcasm. Do you want me to guess or something?"
I groaned loudly. "I'm telling the truth, Erin!"
Her eyebrows furrowed. "You're starting to piss me off, tell me or I'm gonna be a real bitch about this."
I buried my face in my hands, beginning to cry out of no where.
"Oh my god, don't cry, I'm sorry-"
"I'm telling the truth." I said quietly. "He's friends with my brothers, you know that. We were... together for a while. I met his mom, and his sister, and his exgirlfriend, and his cousins, and spent Christmas with him and he kissed me during New Years under the fireworks, and..." I suddenly sighed, feeling my face heat up as I clutched onto the pillow Andy liked to lay on in desperation, feeling as if it would help me stay sane. "It's a long story."
I finally looked up and met Erin's eyes. She stared at me like I was crazy, and felt my forehead. Then dropped her hand on her lap in confusion. "Okay..." She said in uncertainty, and I could tell she thought I was going mad. "Tell me the story."
I told her the story.
From the beginning.
From the day he gave me detention, to that day I sat in front of my best friend and explained everything I neglected to explain before.
By that time it was three in the afternoon, and she was still giving me that look. "I don't know what to say." She admitted casually, and she still didn't believe me. "Have you... taken anything lately?" She asked in concern, but it was obvious she was trying not to offend me. I only glared at her.
"Come on girl, you can't expect me to believe all of that."
"So you think I'm just making it up?" I shot back angrily.
Before she could reply and I could get to yelling, we heard as the front door slammed open and shut, and someone was in the house.
"Diana?" His kind voice shouted worriedly. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" His voice echoed out, and we heard his footsteps going up the stairs. I'm not sure why I was in so much panic. I did just tell her, after all.
Then it was before either of us expected it, Charlie swung open the door to my room and then his eyes met mine sweetly, then Erin's, and his face turned to stone.
Erin's face was just the same.
I didn't know what to do, and the only thing my mind was thinking was holy shit holy shit.
Finally, I found it in me to speak. But not completely focused on what I was to say. "We were just talking about you," I said sweetly, nervously, and extremely awkwardly, and both their eyes turned on me again. He looked so confused.
"You weren't fucking around." Erin muttered.
"Holy shit this is awkward." Charlie breathed out, running a hand through his hair and stepping into the room.
My heart was thumping in my ears. He just stood there, while Erin just sat there. Then he looked at me. "You told her?"
I blushed.
He heaved a sigh and ran his hands down his face in both exhaustion and frustration. "Dammit, Diana."
"I'm sorry." I immediately said, having it be the only thing I was able to say. I wish I hadn't, too, because I know he felt bad for his tone toward me, I knew because of the way his eyes softened at me.
I tried to stare at my hands, hoping that if I did that, I would successfully avoid being lovestruck by his sweet eyes again. Normally, I wouldn't mind much, but Erin was next to me, and I was embarrassed.
"Oh my god." Erin said beside me and I looked up at her.
"Can you say something other than stuff like that?" I asked uncomfortably.
Then she hopped up and squealed, attacking me with a hug, making me fall back on the bed. "Diana, you really are in love!" She asked in a giggly tone.
I blushed harder.
I tried pushing her off me, but she only clinged harder. "Erin, please." I choked.
She was just laughing brightly at me, obviously thinking I'm hilarious. "You've never been so embarrassed!"
I groaned and finally released myself from my friend. Poor Charlie just stood there. "So, Charles, is it?" Erin asked when sitting up.
To my amusement, his ears tinted a warm pink, and I know she caught it, too. "Actually," I added in. "It's Charlie."
"She's the only one who calls me that." He grumbled, as if it was annoying that I did. I smiled, because I knew he loved it.
"Well should I just stick with Mr. Grant?" Erin asked in fake innocence.
I bit my lip to prevent a laugh, and Charlie blushed deeper, his expression going hard and uncomfortable. "Just call me Chance outside of... of school." He cleared his throat and looked at me, seeing my amusement and irritating him further.
"You're annoying." He said with those furrowed brows of his.
I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I settled with sending him a smile, which he obviously had no choice but to shyly return.
"This is so weird." Erin whispered, but eventually broke into a smile. "Like wow."
Before I could roll my eyes or tell her to shut up, Charlie's phone went off with that annoying buzz, and he breathed out a mean and frustrated sigh, checking the caller ID and stuffing it back in his pocket carelessly.
He looked back at me and I narrowed my eyes accusingly. "What?" He answered almost a little innocently. This grown man had an adorable way of being adorable.
"Who was that?" I asked in suspicion.
He rolled his eyes. "No one." He answered me defensively.
"Charlie." I glared, and watched as he tried to hold my gaze back, seriousness on his face.
But luckily for me, he couldn't do so, and let out a defeated and frustrated sigh. "It doesn't matter, she's annoying."
My first thought was Claire, but then I used my common sense. "Savannah?"
He said nothing.
"Answer it." I nagged him, and he crossed his arms.
"I don't want to."
Looking at him to Erin with furrowed brows, I stood up, "Excuse us Erin." I said lowly, shoving him out my room and into the hallway to speak privately. "Don't be a child." I said with a knowing tone.
He pouted and stood strong, not yet giving in. "I'm not answering."
After his phone silenced, it rung once more and he took out his phone, looking like he was about to turn it off, but I grabbed it before he could. "Who's being the child now?" He growled.
"What if it's important? She wouldn't be calling this much if it wasn't." I opened my mouth to speak once more, but he cut me off and stepped forward before I could.
I escaped his embrace before he could even wrap his arms around me and his face fell more, releasing a deep defeated huff, snatching the phone from me and answering it. "What." He grumbled rudely.
"Be nice." I told him, and he narrowed his eyes at me, normally making me believe he was angry with me but he reached for me again, and I knew he wasn't.
I allowed his arms this time, feeling as he spoke with me leaning against his chest. His fingers twirling the ends of my hair. I could hear Savannah speak. "I'm sorry, I just thought I should let you know that mom is on her way to your place right now. She's planning on having a sit-down with you to talk about your relationship."
Charlie's jaw began to tense as he heard her speak, and I took the hand that was wrapped around me to lace my fingers through his, and he relaxed the slightest, which was enough for me. "Are you serious," he growled.
"Yeah, and I hope Diana isn't there for her sake. Mom wanted a private talk."
I felt the flushing in my face, and felt nervous again. Fearful. The possibility of not being accepted hurt me, and as if sensing it, he kissed my head and squeezed my hand. "I'm not even there." He answered against me.
"Even worse. Just get back so you can get it over with." Savannah suggested.
He was quiet for a while, looking ahead of himself in uncertainty. He didn't want to leave me. "Thanks, Sav." His deep voice said eventually.
Her calm voice on the other end replied, "Get back, okay?"
Then they hung up.
He locked eyes with me, "I just got here." He pouted.
I smiled at him, and he leaned down to lock lips with me, the familiarity of being so loved and warm. I didn't want to let him go, instead wanted to stay with him then all day, all night. "You can come back." I said.
Charlie's brows furrowed. "I'm really sorry." He was talking about his mother. "She can't make me do shit, and if she even tried to separate me from you-"
"Yes, yes, I know." I really wanted to tell him I loved him. "I love you." So I did.
"I love you, baby." His unusually sweet voice said in my ear, and I didn't want him to release me. Those words coming from him made my entire body heat up in excitement. I loved that he loved me. "Whose are you?" He asked in expectation, at the same time hopefulness and nervousness showing as his fingertips drew around on my back, causing me to shiver.
"Yours."
It was an answer I was proud to announce.
"Who elses?" His voice faltered, the sign of him needing sureness, certainty that I was only his. It broke my heart.
"No one elses." I promised, grabbing his face and looking him in the eye. "I'm only yours."
I watched the relief flow through in his eyes, and he kissed me again before releasing a sigh, awkwardly popping back in my room to awkwardly say bye to Erin and leaving.
She grinned at me after I walked him to the door. It took me a moment to realize and I gave her a soft shove. "God dammit, Erin, such an eavesdropper."
She looked at me innocently, "You left your door open! It's not my fault you're both so damn lovey dovey."
I blushed at this, "Not usually." I muttered and turned away, having her collapse on my bed, staring at my ceiling in amazement.
"You just made out with our calc teacher." She giggled. "He just told you he loves you." Then a squeal, "And he called you baby!"
I groaned, feeling myself turn into a tomato, and threw a shirt at her while changing into a tshirt.
"Oh fuck, Diana, tell me this a joke."
I didn't say anything, allowing her to answer herself. "Like, I've never seen him so normal before, it's huge to see him in love!!"
"Erin, shut up."
"You are so embarrassed."
I said nothing and instead let my mind wander around the fact that his mother was speaking to him about me. Drove me crazy.
"You're a bitch, Diana." She said casually, inspecting her finger nails.
I raised an eyebrow at her.
"He seemed so paranoid, and I've only seen you two together once. What did he do again when you told him you were cheating?"
My face suddenly paled at the memory. I hated remembering. Yes, that day I hurt him after not even dreaming of it. It caused him to beg. Even after admitting my unfaithfulness to him, he still begged me not to leave. "He called me a whore and begged me to stay." I said flatly.
She let out a sigh. "I'm sorry." She said.
I shook my head. "I deserved it."
"Did he yell?"
Oh did he.
"You know how he is, Erin." I shivered at the memory. "How scary he can be."
"He didn't touch you, did he?" She asked cautiously, but there was a hint of venom in it.
I suddenly let out a loud laugh, laying back while she glared down at me. "Oh gosh." I wiped my eyes of invisible amused tears. "That's funny. No, he wouldn't lay a hand on me, trust me." I said with a chuckle.
"That's good."
It was. He wasn't ever aggressive with me. Not unless we were in his bed and I was demanding him to be.
"Have you guys had sex?" She asked in curiosity, probably expecting me to say no. But my best friend had another thing coming.
"Yep."
She rolled off the bed by accident in surprise. "What that fuck- what?!" She shouted in a shriek, hopping to her feet to stand over me.
I looked up at her. "I said yes."
"What?"
I glared at her.
"How many times?" She asked eagerly, shock written all over her face.
I sighed, sitting up and preparing myself for more conversation. "I kinda lived with him for a while, how many times do you think?"
Her eyes widened. "You never told me that."
I shrugged.
"How long?"
I shrugged again. "A while. Maybe a month or two."
"Oh god, how often did you guys do it?"
I blushed, knowing the answer now was more than once a day. Sometimes our nights were crazy. I missed that man.
"Diana." She said loudly, seeing my blush and being more surprised.
"Once... twice... I can't exactly count how many times a day." I said passively, casually, uncomfortably.
She suddenly screamed, almost having me jump out of my skin. "Holy shit. Is he good?"
I laughed this time. "Obviously if we like to have sex a lot."
"Oh my god. Who was better, Andy or Mr. Grant?"
I feeling of nausea hit me and I paled again. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that." She said, realizing her mistake. My mistake. The guilt still hurt, still made me feel sick to my stomach. No there wasn't a very good comparison. They were different men, so I refused to compare. Andy was different with his body. Charlie was different with his body. That was that.
"No, no it's fine."
"How good are his hands?"
Then the wave passed, and I was left feeling warm and giddy inside thinking about his hands on me. I missed him, and I had just seen him. I hated that. "God he's great." I giggled and she joined me.
"Diana, this is unreal."
"Trust me, I know."
Then I got a text message.
Are you brats talking about me?
Charlie's words made me laugh again.
I replied,
No
Then I wondered how things were going with him. If he was being nice to his mother. I knew the answer.
No?
No. How are things?
I asked, needing to know if I was yet approved of. Funny thing was, even if it didn't matter, even if what she thought wouldn't affect our relationship the slightest, I hated the thought of her not liking me. I also knew that Charlie would be upset with me if he found out that I did care what his mother thought.
I couldn't help but wonder what he would reply with. I was jittery to know how it was going with her. Maybe she even took Claire with her. But I knew that wasn't supposed to matter either. Maybe things were intense. Maybe Charlie wouldn't reply.
"Talking to your boyfriend?" She asked suggestively.
Boyfriend. Wow that sounds weird.
"Wait, he's your boyfriend, right? I should've just said lover. That makes more sense."
I laughed calmly at her.
"Yeah, I just asked how things are."
"What'd he say?"
I groaned and glared at my phone. "Nothing yet."
We talked a while and I soon felt sleepy and cuddled into my pillows. She got in next to me and did the same.
When I woke next, Charlie was back. He kneeled down by me and brushed my hair back. "Hey." He said to me.
"Mmn." I groaned back in both irritation and curiosity. He smiled, as if expecting that reaction from me and knowing I'd be grumpy from just waking up.
"How was your nap?"
I responded in the same way, and he laced his hand through mine.
"So I talked to my mom." He said a bit boredly.
I felt myself awaken at the mention of Karla and my other hand reached for his scruff. "What'd she say?" I asked sleepily.
"Well first of all, nothing she says matters the fucking slightest,"
I glared at him.
"But she's... happy. For me. She likes you."
I felt my heart beat uncontrollably as I tried to sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I sat up and look down at kneeling Charlie. His words tried to snake their way through my mind. She likes you. "What?" My scratchy voice asked in shock.
"She's not against it. Not that it would matter if she was...-"
I suddenly tackled him in a jump and three my arms around him, causing him to land with a thud and a ug! then his sweet chuckle. The one I hadn't heard in so long.
"You said she likes me?"
"Diana, I told you, it doesn't matter what she thinks- Ow, what the fuck?" He grabbed my wrist after I pinched his stomach for being annoying.
I finally let out a laugh and kissed him, having him wind his arms around me.
I heard someone clear her throat and I turned, seeing Erin leaning against my door, giving me a look. "I was just leaving." She said with a smirk, looking down at the two of us on the floor with me pressed on top of him.
I rolled off him and stood up, embracing her tightly. "You don't have to le-"
"Shut up." She told me, and I realized how much I missed her once more. "I'll call you." She winked at me playfully and let herself out.
When she was gone, he hugged me from behind. We were silent as I leaned against him. Then, "Diana?"
"Hm." I replied in contentment.
"I really do love you." He said warmly, his pride being exposed greatly as he admitted it, too. I flushed. He was proud that he loved me.
Him. Charles Grant. He was proud that he loved me. The skeptic who didn't believe in a thing called love. He loved me.
"I love you, Charlie. I love you too." I said, knowing he knew I meant it.