I was almost fast asleep when Austin softly knocked and entered my room, sitting on the side of my bed with the lit hallway spilling light into my room. He pat my shoulder and I squinted my eyes up at him.
"I'm proud of you, Diana." Was the first thing he said to me. "I know I'm hard on you, and I'm sorry for that. I don't know what you're going through, but you must've really loved him if you let him marry someone else."
I stared up at him, his face blurry and my sleepy eyes watering. I took his hand, feeling the power of his brotherly love, and I felt content. "You did good, today." He told me.
"I love you, Austin." I said, my sleepy voice almost silent.
He smiled my favorite smile on him. The little goofy boy I saw in him, the look of pride in being part of our family. "Love you, Dye."
"Promise you'll always love me." I said tiredly, softly, halfasleep.
"I'll always love you, I promise. You're my sister." He said in quiet amusement.
"Promise you'll always accept me, and try to understand why I do the things I do."
He looked confused, but still amused as if speaking to a child. "I promise. Goodnight."
I smiled back at him and closed my eyes, hearing him walk away.
"Good...night."
...
When I woke up, the house was close to empty. The only ones left, James and Chris.
I hadn't yet realized that it was a school day, and was getting sad seeing Charlie was gone.
"Hey, where are you going?" James asked as I rushed down the stairs in lazy leggings and a tshirt.
"School," I answered passively.
"I'll take you," He told me, grabbing his keys, and I was about to accept, too. But then I thought of Charlie.
"That's nice, James, but I was gonna pick up some things from Erin's house after."
He shrugged. "Alright, call if you need anything, I'm not working today."
"Neither am I." Chris said from the couch.
I nodded, turning to run out the door while shouting, "Alright, thanks, love you guys," and barely made it on time to school.
I honestly should not have gone, because I was everyones target. I don't mean that in a negative way, I mean it in a way... That has me as the uncomfortable center of attention. Normally it wouldn't be as bad, I would still be uncomfortable, but this was the subject of my father. Some was Andy, but at the moment, mostly my father.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Diana." They each said everytime I passed by, always giving me a hug. I was so frustrated.
"Thanks, Thank you, Okay- yeah- thanks-" It got to the point to where I hid in the bathroom for a while, waiting until the bell rang to get to each class. I practically sprinted to Mr. Grant's room when lunch began. Unfortunately he wasn't there, but idiotically left his room unlocked. I assumed he was in a meeting, and sat at his desk, spinning around.
I spun, closing my eyes and trying to recall what it was like the very first time he looked at me with those eyes. The first time he laughed with me, smiled at me, the first time he thought I was beautiful. I wondered when that was. What about the first time he realized he was attracted to me? When was that? Did he ever think about me in the shower, or in his bed before we were together the way we were? Did he ever get himself off thinking about me? I wasn't sure how long I was spinning, but soon a strong hand gripped the chair tight and I jolted back into reality. My eyes opened, seeing sideways, upside-down, rightside-up, Charlie spinning all over the place. I groaned, leaning forward to press my fingers to my eyes to ease the dizziness.
"What are you doing here?" He asked in confusion.
I rubbed my eyes. "Everyone was talking to me, so I came in here because it was quiet-"
"No, baby, I mean what are doing in school? You barely slept last night, you should be at home, resting."
When my vision some-what regulated I looked back at him. He leaned down and looked at me, supporting himself on his chair. Eyes sweet, concerned. I was suddenly sad thinking about how I barely got to speak to him, much less touch him the previous day. I missed him. "I-I- um," I looked down and rubbed my confused head. Well, I came because he came. He left and I felt lonely. "I missed you." I idiotically said, feeling like a stupid child. I was about to stand, walk away casually and tell him I was all good. But his face took me in, and his arms looped around me, lifting me to sit me on his lap, immediately claiming my mouth. It was those urgent kisses, that made it clear that he missed me, too.
"I'm sorry." I randomly slipped out, and he froze, leaning back to look at me in confusion.
"What?"
I blushed.
"What for?"
I didn't know, actually.
I shrugged shyly.
He chuckled softly, the sound playing like a melody in my head, causing the sparks of desire to ignite like an explosive lighter inside of me. "Are you apologizing for being in here without my consent?"
Ooh he sounds so domineering.
Hot breath was beneathe my ear, voice nice and husky. "I'm glad you're here, Diana. I always am." His lips pecked up my neck, somewhere his nose nuzzled my tickle spot and I giggled like a little girl, pushing at him. "You're mine." He said in contentment after I pushed him away. I smiled, nodding. "You missed me." I turned shy again, nodding once more. "You were thinking about me." He took a deep breath, large hands sliding up and down my leg. "I was thinking about you, as well, Diana."
I kissed him, my hands taking fistfuls of his hair and tightening when he gripped my butt. He groaned, we released, breathing into eachother. "I always think about you." Our breaths were heavy, and I wanted to tell him I loved him, but was too overwhelmed to do so.
"I love you."
But he said it first.
A knock and an enter as I began to smile at Charlie, about to tell him I loved him back, and our hearts were pounding- the two of us frozen on eachother, hands stuck. Fear quickly sunk in and I turned to see who it was- and my heart calmed while my blood lightly boiled.
"Wow, you guys really need to lock the door, anyone could just walk in." Erin said, stepping in and shutting the door behind her.
I groaned, getting off of Charlie, "Dammit Erin, you scared the life out of me."
Charlie cleared his throat uncomfortably behind me. "Uh- same here."
"I'm sorry." She apologized. "I was looking for you." My friend told me.
"Why?"
"I was lonely. The guys are doing guy stuff and I got bored."
I looked from her to Charlie and he glared at her. I gave his shoulder a light shove. "Stop looking so mean." I told him and he sat back, spun around and clicked on his computer.
I looked at Erin before releasing a sigh. "I'll be right there."
She understood, giving me a nod and stepping out. I turned to Charlie and saw his grumpy face clicking things he needed to look over for work. I let out a breath. "Charlie." I said in exhaustion. He said nothing. "Mr. Grant." He looked up at me.
"Don't start that." He said.
"Start what?" I asked, completely confused.
He began typing, clicking more. "Don't get me hard and then leave like you usually do."
I gawked at him. "When the hell have I ever done that?" I asked in shock.
He gave me a flat look. "Way more than you know."
"That's never happened before." I said in defense.
"It has, you just don't know."
"Okay, see you later." I told him, sad we left things oddly- quickly in an argument. What kind of argument was that anyway? I couldn't recall any of the other times I'd done that to him, and I felt bad if I did. Then annoyed at how he was acting so childish because of it.
"You're seriously gonna leave?"
I didn't turn back, "See you later." I repeated in irritation, leaving with Erin to hangout at her home.
I went to his place that same night after, seeing him stare down at paperwork- looking very unhappy. I leaned against the wall, watching him look up from his work to look at me. He was about to say something, something kind, something apologetic. I know he didn't mean to get mad at me.
"So who are you tonight, Jekyll or Hyde?" I asked before he could speak, and seeing his brows furrow in offense. He slipped off his glasses, about to turn serious on me when I pushed off from the wall, approaching him quickly.
"What the fuck is your problem-" he began.
When I spun his chair toward me, I dropped to my knees, seeing him freeze as I reached for his belt. "What are you-"
"I'm sorry, sir." I said in such minor casualty he almost dismissed it, but if words were visual there is no question he'd do a double-take. "I didn't mean to make you mad."
I worked the holes of his belt loop and pulled, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, seeing his mild erection come alive through his boxers. I knew how to turn him on just as easily as he knew for me. And it was getting easier.
"Diana, you don't have to-"
"I'm not gonna stop until you tell me to. Right now I listen to you."
His face settled into shock.
"After I do this, you can tell me what you want me to do."
His hand rose to gently brush my face, trailing down my neck. "I'm lucky as fuck." He said quietly, in a husky whisper.
I smiled, "You and me both." And got to work.
...
I have to admit, after our long evening, my scalp was a little sore from his hair pulling, and his small bites on my body became tiny bruises- but I loved it and would redo it a billion times if I could. It was probably one of the most fun nights we spent together.
"You don't look like the wild type." Charlie mumbled sleepily beside me, throwing his hand over my body to take solace in the reminder of me still being there beside him.
"Yeah, well, you look the rough type. I like that."
"I look like I take it rough?"
I lay on my back, turning my head to look back at his tired self. "Well, you do."
"And you like it."
"I do."
He smiled lazily. "I like your dirty mouth."
"Dirty mouth? Why do I have a dirty mouth?"
"Because you're putting things in your mouth that's not food."
I felt my body flush at his words, the beautiful reminder. I really did love it when he pulled my hair when I gave him head. His large hands were just so nice- and he was always eager to return the favor.
"Mmhm." I sighed, laying my hand over his. "Only for you."
"Say that again." He told me as I closed my eyes, becoming sleepy.
"I only have a dirty mouth for you. I only get on my knees for you. I'm only wild for you."
He got closer to me and I embraced the feel of our warm bodies falling asleep together.
"I told you I was lucky." He whispered before the both of us knocked out.
...
"Just- I mean, how can you just be so chill about the fact that Mr. Grant has been in your house." Connor went on at the floor of Erin's room. She smirked at me, and I shoved her.
Charlie was currently in a teacher conference, and I was taking my free time to listen to my idiot friends talk. Unfortunately they decided to talk about the most irritating subjects.
"He seemed so nice too." Cole added, laying by me on the bed, drinking from a large bottle of wine. He was a little loopy. "Why was he so nice?"
"Her dad just died, idiot, he's not gonna be a total asshole to her while at her father's funeral." Connor shot from the floor, and I rolled my eyes, grabbing the bottle from Cole and drink it myself. Erin came back from being upstairs and handed a bottle of just-opened wine to Connor, then came and gave one to me. This was some fancy stuff, too.
"He was carrying his casket. Can you believe it? Mr. Grant was carrying my dad's dead body." I said in astonishment, though pretty sure the wine was getting to me as well.
Erin cringed at me. "Yeah, let's not talk about dead bodies right now, kay?"
I drank some more, while Cole was beginning to roll a joint.
"Are you just gonna let him smoke in your house?" I asked Erin.
She looked over from her closet and shrugged. "I give up on that."
"It's alright, Diana, you can have a hit, too."
Me, being the tispy freak I was, waited until he rolled it up to take the first hit. I hadn't smoked weed since eigth grade, so I was letting the world change slowly. Dramatically, as well. I never made smoking weed a habit, though.
That night, I had Erin drop me off at Charlie's. My cheeks had flushed scarlet from the wine, and luckily my eyes weren't too red. I let myself in around two in the morning and I saw light from the library that indicated him being in there.
When I shut the door, I heard him drop his things and escape the library. He stopped and looked at me. "God, I've been trying to reach you for hours, where've you been?" He asked, sounding worried and confused.
"Erin's." I said softly, sleepily. I sounded so childish and young he seemed to recognize something was wrong.
"Are you okay?" He stepped over to me and turned on the light, causing my eyes to water. His eyes scanned my face, lingering at my rosy cheeks. "Are you drunk?" He asked.
I gave him a shrug. "I guess."
He released a sigh and hugged me. I hugged him back, feeling cozy in his arms and wanting only to fall asleep with him. Then he released, pushed me back and sniffed me. "Are- have you been smoking?" He asked. "Weed?"
I rubbed my eyes, assuming I did smell like weed, and it was a good thing that I was nowhere near my brothers at the time. "Uh huh."
"What the fuck, Diana?" He suddenly bellowed, causing me to jump out of my skin.
"Jesus, Charlie..." I groaned at him, rubbing my spinning head. I was still high.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded loudly, and I walked away to escape his loud voice. "Diana." He called as I headed to his room. He followed. "Who were you smoking with? Why were you smoking in the first place? Why were you drinking in the first place?" He almost yelled as I buried myself under his covers.
"Why are you yelling at me?" I somberly replied in a soft voice.
"Because I'm fucking mad,"
"Please stop." I sighed, falling asleep.
He threw the covers off me and told me to get up. "Why?" I asked, secretly afraid that he'd kick me out, and never would want to see me again.
"Get up." He demanded again.
I got up, but instead of listening to what he was going to tell me to do, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight. "Don't kick me out, Charlie. I don't wanna leave. I don't wanna be away from you." I begged- fucking begged for the first time to have him let me stay. It was embarrassing, but at the time I just wanted him to listen, and I felt nothing but the fear of having to leave.
I hugged him tight, shut my eyes tighter, and breathed him in while beginning to fight tears. It was hard, and I didn't do too well.
He peeled my arms away from him, having me panic even more and feel like he was going to kick me out forever. "Hey," he said with minor authoratativness. "Stop, Diana, open your eyes." He told me, holding me back while I squeezed my eyes shut so tight it almost began to hurt. He didn't sound sweet and gentle like did once when he had told me those words before, no, he sounded stern and spoke loudly while the thousand pieces of furnature crashed around him, muffling his voice the slightest. "Open them." He demanded, and I shook my head, somehow having the tears still spill out.
I felt him walk me somewhere and I began to feel the panic, grabbing onto him while shutting my eyes. I heard static around me and suddenly felt as if we were somewhere else.
When he released me to do something, I hugged him tight, and he tried taking me off him as I continued to panic. Finally, after moments of fear, he held me back, telling me to calm down and I felt air hit my legs- my suddenly bare legs and I shivered, feeling him unbutton my shirt. The static continued for a while, but suddenly everything stopped. And silence painfully filled my ears, then subsided when I realized I was whimpering. We stepped outside of the bathroom, and I opened my eyes to see Charlie look at me. My eyes burned as he said something to me, opening the door again and the sound filling me. Only, it was relaxing now. The static was gone, and I slowly began to realize what was going on. He had me step into the shower and immediately the water woke me somewhat from this scary event. The water was warm and my head felt cleared for a second, and soon he came in with me.
I felt the calmness wash over me along with the soap Charlie had lathered in his hands. I closed my eyes again, loving the feel of his familiar gentle hands. He rubbed me, massaged me, and soon after he kissed me. I was sleepy.
"Come on," he said, pulling me out and drying me as if I was a child. He helped as I slipped on my underwear, and I took his shirt and slid it on comfortably. It smelled like him.
Pulled into the bed, I gathered the bed sheets around myself and snuggled warmly, hearing as he shut lights off and eventually collapsed beside me on the bed. I subconciously grabbed onto his arm and held it tight, everyonce in a while feeling his other gentle hand brush my face softly.