My grandmother was a kind lady, so kind that one day while walking down in the street when she found a homeless boy, she looked at the poor little creature with loving eyes and the first idea that came to her mind was: I'm going to raise this child! He's my son from this day onwards!
Not only did she oppose to her in-laws objections, going as far as to threaten to get a divorce and take the real grandchild of the family with her, namely my father, if the little homeless boy was not accepted and treated as a family member as well.
At the time, She had no idea she made the biggest and most profitable investment in our country: this little boy who almost died in the streets, Belguassem Filladi, grew up and established the largest Corporation in the whole country!
He became the richest man in Algeria!
Still, no matter how much money he offered to my grandmother as a reward and expressed his gratitudes, she refused to take his money. I thought she was being kind and selfless until one fateful day she summoned us all to her room, and by all I mean me, 23 years old at the time, Belguassem Filladi, his prideful wife and daughter, and of course his almighty son, Eliyas Filladi.
She looked us all with a pitiful expression then made a long reprimanding speech which made our hearts bleed of guilt, after finishing that, she suddenly announced:
_"Eliyas shall marry Noursine!"
And yes, this Noursine who just landed her hands on a treasure is.. Me.
I was dumbfounded, So was everyone in the room except for my grandmother, I looked At Eliyas who was standing tall and indifferent behind his father and I thought to myself: what kind lady? my grandmother is definitely a snake!
Belguassem who was overwhelmed with emotions and shed a bucketful of tears finally said with determination:
_"I will definitely take my deceased brother's precious daughter as my own beloved daughter.. Noursine is going to marry into our family!"
And this was how I ended up marrying Eliyas Filladi, the most wanted bachelor in the country.
I didn't love him, nor did he.
At the time, I was emotionally blackmailed by my sneaky grandmother into accepting this marriage, she promised to never forgive me and die with heartbreak if I refused. Adding to this was the fact there wasn't anything bad about Eliyas to begin with, I was easily persuaded.
As for the materialist cold Eliyas, he of course was immune to emotional persuasion, only one matter made him sign his name beside mine with a frown on the marriage certificate: he was threatened to be disowned by his father, therefore marrying me meant keeping his fortune, or so I assume.
Having an arranged marriage was the stupidest decision of my life.
Not only my existence was compared to the meaningless walls in their villa, my prideful mother in-law didn't miss a chance in which she forgot to remind me of my inferior origins, I was exempted from most of their social events.
Eliyas on the other hand found my embarrassing poor class manners humiliating to his status I guess, he often scolded me coldly.. never was affected by my sadness, and treated me so cold I hated him to the extremes.
Then one day, when I lost my baby because of him, I decided to no longer tolerate anything, so after one year of marriage, I left him..
This happened 3 years ago.
I thought when I'll leave the filladis I will manage to lead a life free of their memories and their influence, I was wrong though, because I'm always reminded of this stupid family!
Even at the doctor's clinic!!
I was sitting in the waiting room of a dentist's clinic, browsing through a newspaper which was probably left there by some patient, Although the newspaper dated 10 days earlier, still, I kept reading it to push away my boredom and anxiety.
The room was full of women, the atmosphere was quite lively, I seldom enjoyed the random chat between strangers so this was too, besides my anxiety, partly the reason why I chose to focus on the newspaper although the main articles displayed on the front pages annoyed me to the extremes, they were all about the Filladi co and my "amazing" ex husband.
_"what a lovely young man!" Commented the elderly lady sitting right beside while pointing her finger towards the big image of the bright young businessman on the front page.
Soon, half the women in the waiting room stopped their unrelated chats and turned to look at the paper between my hands.
_"he is indeed! And so capable at a young age as well, what is it that he does exactly?" Another elderly lady added pensively.
_"he's the CEO of Filladi corporation, you know.. Almost every item in supermarkets is the production of that company" a young girl probably my age answered, She waited until all eyes were on her then she excitedly added:
_"but the main point isn't the much money he has, but the fact that he is to die handsome! And single!! A real priceless walking candy! I would have dreamed and prayed for him to be my husband but I'm afraid even the heavens will laugh at me for such an impossible request."
The man on the front page was not single.. This jerk Eliyas Filladi was still my husband according to the law and religion!
This is a whole other big story in fact, to simply sum it up for now, I was allowed to leave Eliyas.. But I wasn't allowed to get my divorce and be free from him.
Just like this, all the random chats suddenly focused on one topic, that is the man barely smiling in the front page of the newspaper I was holding to my torment. I never thought I will have to listen to people praising this scum Eliyas even at the dentist's clinic, my emotions were so stirred that my already aching tooth was enraged as well and decided to hurt me tremendously more!
I couldn't tolerate the pain any further nor control my fright, So I went to the receptionist's desk and I pleaded with tearful eyes:
_"can you please make me go next in queue.. I really can't stand the pain any longer."
_"I apologize to you miss .. But I made it clear to you earlier, you made no prior appointment so you have to wait until the doctor finishes with his appointed patients ___"
I always had bad pain tolerating skills, To be precise, I was always frightened by pain, Even the idea of being hurt. Once the pain in my tooth went even worse after I opened my mouth and spoke, I felt extremely cold and fell in darkness even before the receptionist finished her words.
I fainted..
When I woke up next, the first face that I saw belonged to a man probably in his mid-thirties, he was not exquisitely handsome, but his soft eyes and high tipped slim nose were comfortable to look at:
_"are you ok miss?" He asked.
I noticed that he was wearing a white doctor's coat so assuming he was a dentist at the clinic I said:
_"I'm fine.. But my tooth is killing me, can you please do something about the pain."
He chuckled once I finished speaking, this is the reaction I mostly receive from people when I complain about pain, He helped me steadily stand up from the floor, then in a commending way he said:
_"follow me to the examination room."
And so I did under the watchful eyes of the patients in the waiting room, They probably cursed me in their hearts for skipping them in such disrespectful manner, but there was nothing that I could do to be more polite, the pain was beyond my tolerance.
When we entered the examination room, another patient was already there in the room: a lady sitting on the chair behind the doctor's desk waiting for his return.
_"what was the chaos about?" She asked in a gossipy way.
The left side of her mouth was still under anesthesia so when she spoke her voice was a bit muffled and her lips moved weirdly, still no anesthesia could numb the curiosity of a chatty woman.
The doctor unhurriedly replied while joining his chair behind the desk:
_" it was nothing, This lady fainted."
She seized me up and down next, then started talking nonstop:
_"how is that nothing! Young miss, Are you sick ? pregnant? If you have diabetes you should eat something sweet.. It's very risky to faint, you could hit your head!.. I heard our neighbor fainted because he was sleep deprived, the poor him hit his head when he fell and now he turned into a vegetable in a coma!.. Etc"
The more this lady spoke .. The more I felt terrified, her lips which were moving weirdly were giving me the scare of my life in addition to her words.
_"young people these days are so weak.. look at you turning sourer than a lemon! Are you going to faint again??!"
Once she finished yelling these words, the dentist who was busy writing her prescription finally lifted his eyes to look at me again then he soon was alarmed.
Because there I went again .. Second round of fainting.
However, this time, I didn't fully lose my consciousness .. I felt the dentist's strong arms quickly catching me and preventing me from falling on the hard ground, I heard his deep inhale the moment he grabbed my weight, and for an unknown reason, I was reminded of someone else's embrace.
He had similar strong arms.. Similar strong manly scent.
I was reminded of Eliyas.
I immediately jolted and rejected his help, being reminded of my ex husband, I Pushed him away and said a bit coldly:
_"i'm fine, no need to touch me."
Thus attitude of mine, as it should, made the dentist walk away from me with a displeased expression.
As he did so, I moved the other chair in front of his desk closer to me then sat on it, as I was trying to calm my self, stop my shaky hands and control my breathing I finally explained to the lady:
_"Madame, I have Algophobia, which means pain phobia..I terrified when I experience or even imagine pain, So I'd really appreciate it if you stop mentioning such traumatizing experiences of people.. I am not weak nor diabetic, i'll be just fine if I stop thinking and feeling pain."
It was only then that the dentist finally decided to take action, he looked at me seriously and asked:
_"did you take any pain killers?"
_"just minutes ago.. It didn't start working yet."
He observed my trembling hands and perturbed breathes, then he quickly finished writing the lady's prescription, after he finished explaining her treatment schedule to her and she was dismissed, he spoke with me again, while noting my personal information he suggested:
_"can you walk to the examination chair alone or you need my help with that?"
I shook my head, then calmly stood up and tried to focus on walking, since the idea of experiencing pain was tormenting me, By the time I reached the chair I was already hyperventilating and sweating profusely, judging from my experience, I was on the verge of having a panic attack:
_"Noursine.. The pill will soon start having an effect, you will be alright." The dentist reminded me.
_" i know that .. But I, I can't control this .. The pain must go" I hardly replied, I was already finding it harder to think coherently and breathe.
People usually fail to understand what it's like having such phobia, my husband was one of them as well.
I'm not mental! Nor sick! I just need to be pain free!
Being in physical pain always tormented me in a way I can't control. I only wish that someone would believe this, that I'm not exaggerating nor faking it.
_"you're in safe hands Noursine, I'm a doctor, I will not let anything happen to you" the dentist suddenly added in an attempt to calm my anxiety.
I looked at him again .. At his soft eyes, then I tried to focus on them.
It was really comfortable to look at him.. He was covering half his face with a surgical mask, and the light was flashing from above his head putting contrast on his features.. He looked very sightly.
Not that I particularly liked him, it was just that I needed to find comfort to forget thinking about pain.
Few time later, observing how calm I was gradually becoming, he chuckled again then said:
_" can you now open your mouth for me to see."
After the examination, he prescribed some medication for me to take for few days first before he can fix my damaged tooth.
By the time I sat on the chair behind his desk again the painkiller had a full effect and my pain reduced a lot, objectively speaking, my tooth wasn't hurting much according to a non-phobic, away from pain, I was back to being my usual calm and reasonable self.
_"I apologize for the chaos I caused earlier in the clinic" I said embarrassed.
he looked at me calmly for a long time , then asked:
_" since when did you start having Algophobia?"
_"since as long as I remember"
_" and you have no other anxiety disorders?"
_"No"
_"it must have been very hard" he commented with a frown.. He thought for a bit, then added:
_"it seems like you have a severe case of phobia, the pain you had in your tooth was probably very bearable for an average person"
_"I'm working on it" I lastly said.. I received my prescription, then left the room.
After paying the bill I left the clinic, only to be surprised to meet 2 huge men in suits standing outside the clinic, they blocked my way when I tried to walk pass them, I frowned immediately realising they were most certainly belonging to the team of bodyguards the Filladis assigned to low key survey me all the time,
One among them said:
_" master lady, the big master was informed about your visit to the clinic and the happenings here, he is concerned about your well being."
I felt bothered to the extreme,
Their big master was of course my father-in-law, belguassem Filladi.
I hate the fact I'm still surveyed 100% of the time by his guards!
I just wanted to be free of this family.. even if I end up thrown in the streets and die of starvation I absolutely don't want them to bother with that, I want to be independent without them intervening in my life.
But no, Even after 3 years since I left their household, I'm still under their watchful eyes.
_" you tell the big master that I need no one to watch over me, that I appreciate his concern but he doesn't owe me anything nor has any relation with me, we're no longer family."
The two bodyguards nodded in unison, then dismissed them selves.
I shook my head while looking at their fleeting backs, I bet there was a dozen men already surveying me from every angle.
What a life.
I walked out to the street next, After going to the pharmacist and buying the medication on my prescription I hired a taxi then went to the radio station where I work as a broadcaster.
Once I walked inside the station building, my manager who happened to be walking down the stairs started scolding me the moment his eyes fell on me:
_"are you planning to come after we close the station? You know what time is it now?? You'll be on air in half an hour are you planning to get the station closed?"
_"I asked for a leave today .. I'm here to collect my materials for tomorrow's program" I reminded him.
He looked like he was having a heart attack when he heard this, he shouted:
_" I refused your request! I sent you a text message informing you! You'll be on air in half an hour ..if you're unprepared you better improvise anything immediately! You are planning to kill me Noursine Saadat! You are planning to make all the station's stuff go jobless as well! Etc"
Even by the time I reached the broadcasting theater he was still standing at the stairs cursing me loudly, it wasn't until I closed the door and took out my phone from my bag that I finally noticed the message he sent earlier that morning.
That my demand of leave was refused and even if I had to die I had to wait until I finished my program then die after that.
He literally wrote this!
What a maniac manager!
Although he was the most dramatic and unreasonable person I had ever encountered in my life, his ways of managing the station were still proven to be successful. Our channel had optimistically high ratings among D city's broadcasting channels.
And I was responsible for the 12h to 13h segment which was very important since it coincidences with lunch time and usually has more listeners.
But it was very easy to replace me for my leave anyways, still the manager had to be so dramatic over it.
_"he's being unreasonable again?"
Faisel, my coworker, asked impatiently sitting inside the studio right outside the broadcasting theater..
_"tell me about it, I asked for a leave.. His answer was I better die than skip"
Faisel, who was never such a chatty person, only nodded in understanding then he said:
_"get your self ready.. You will be on air in minutes"
I had no idea what to do for the show!
I had a previously prepared playlist of neutral songs to use in such situation.. But the main theme for the day was amiss.
The program I broadcast usually consists of asking the listeners a question then receiving their answers through their calls and reacting to them, this sort of programs became the trend.
I had no idea what theme I should decide on today though!
I thought for a bit, the memory of the fear I experienced at the dentist was still vivid in my head.
After a bit of hesitation, I decided to just ask the listeners about their experiences with the dentist as well since this was all I could think about.
I bet my manager will have a real heart attack once hearing the genius idea I came up with.
Sure enough.. After I went on air and spoke my mind and said how I fainted from fright, even the usually unaffected Faisel laughed his heart out behind the glass.
As the usual, the listeners started to call and share their stories .. All was going smoothly until the third call.
_"allo" (hello) the caller said.
And for some reason, his voice sounded awfully familiar.
_" marhaban bik ( welcome)! Can you introduce your self to the listeners"
_" my name is Yacine, and I'm a dentist, so I'm calling rather to share my story with one of my patients instead of speaking about an experience of my own."
_" sure, since you're in the profession you must have plenty of stories to tell, maybe you can encourage the easily scared people such us my self to have more courage to see a dentist before it's late and the damage is big"
_" I'm not sure if my words will bring any encouraging, but today a young woman visited my clinic and I felt as if I knew her from somewhere.. after I heard her story at the dentist just now, she turned out to be the broadcaster I listen to almost everyday during my lunch time__"
I felt my heart skipping a beat right away.
No wonder he sounded very familiar.
He was the dentist I visited this morning!
It was awfully obvious that this caller was talking about me even to faisel behind the glass who sent me a signal asking me if he should cut the call.
I shook my head refusing to cut the call, And decided not to act rude with Dr Yacine in public, especially that he was nice to me earlier at the clinic, I laughed and said:
_" I guess you have sharp ears then dr.Yacine, and now that you called what message would you like to leave?"
_" I'd like to ask if I could use the contact number she left to contact her .. And I mean contacting her not for professional reasons."
I choked in my saliva hearing his words.
I coughed for a long time while Yacine laughed on the other side of the phone, I vigorously made a signal for Faisel to cut the call immediately but this shameless coworker of mine pointed his index to the upper floor indicating that he received orders from the manager to keep this call no matter what.
So they were sacrificing my face for the sake of listeners!
_"No" I bluntly replied " my answer is no ..you can't contact me."
_"well, since you refused me in front of the whole city and my identity is already uncovered aren't you feeling guilty for my destroyed reputation? You should take responsibility for me miss Noursine."
What a shameless person!
But before I even said one word the call suddenly cut.. I looked at Faisal surprised but the look on his face said it wasn't his doing as well.
I checked the calls line, there was another call already waiting.
_"another listener is trying to contact us .. Allo?"
I said once Faisel forwarded the call.
_" I didn't hear from you in a long time Noursine." the caller said immediately.
His voice sent shivers all over my body..
This deep hoarseness.. This coldness.
They all belonged to one person .. Certainly.
He was Eliyas!
My ex husband!