_"why would you change your clothes?" I asked displeased.
He looked at me mischievously and replied like a fox:
_" do you want me to sleep in my suit?"
This shameless man.. He started to undress right after he finished saying this!
I ran out of the room right away feeling weird.
Such a strange reaction of mine can only be explained by the fact I treated and considered this man as a stranger, it is both inconvenient and shameful to have an argue with a stranger while watching him getting naked.
While slamming shut my room's door and cursing him inside my heart, I already began to imagine the scenario from three years earlier repeating itself: Eliyas forcing himself inside my life.
back then, it took me about two months to recover from my miscarriage and the additional injuries, by the time I left the hospital I was already fired from my recent job, The scars on my thighs were permanent and the possibility of me getting pregnant again was weaker, pretty much everything was ruined.
So many psychologists tried talking to me, by saying they tried to talk to me I'm emphasising the fact I absolutely didn't want to consult, I had no trauma to discuss with others.. I was just angry and sad, the only therapy I needed was a warm shoulder to lean on, if I had married into a poorer family maybe I would have got that, but being the daughter in-law of the Filladi's meant that I was left for the psychologists to get me rid of unnecessary feelings that they didn't want to deal with.
As for the only family I had, namely my grandmother, well, she was never such a warm person to begin with, for most I believe I inherited this treat from her: I don't warm to people so easily, But at least there would never come a day when a futuristic granddaughter of mine loses her child and I would say to her:
"stop being such a weeper! I lost a lot of unborn children.. If I made a scene like you did every time I lost a child your grandfather would have long divorced me before I had your father.. Get your self together and go fix things with your husband!"
That period of time was like a wake up call for me, I realised I was wasting my life on people who didn't care about me, On a husband who never publicly acknowledged my existence.. He didn't even wear his ring. I was hidden for whatever reason that they had and even such a huge accident was covered and concealed as if it never occurred.
I was boiling in rage inside.. I hated everyone.
Back then, Eliyas used to have long working days, when he came back he slept on the sofa in our room. He didn't try to talk with me much, and the topics he opened were not so creative honestly, he would just ask: " are you ok?" .. "Did you sleep well?".. "What do you want to eat?".. "Are you in pain?"
All to which, I didn't have the heart nor felt the need to reply. so I ignored him and treated him as if he was invisible, I hated him back then like if he was the devil reincarnated and the only reason that forced me to stay at the villa was really poor health, I wanted to recover properly then prepare a perfect plan to leave.
I decided to leave him.
I arranged an apartment to move to secretly.. It was in another city near my hometown about 6 hours away from D city, I wanted to start my life again there.
I planned to escape from the house once the occasion allowed, without taking anything with me .. I just wanted to run away from that cold place.
then, one day, when I supposedly had an appointment with my consulting doctor, I decided it was the perfect chance for me to escape the villa, the guards had no clue about the procedures of the medical examination and Eliyas was of course never available to accompany me, I could deceive them all and no one would notice, after being examined I snuck to the ladies room in the hospital and changed my clothes to a full Hijab.. I put on a scarf and wore heels, even I couldn't recognize my self when I looked at my reflexion on the mirror.
I walked pass the guards who were totally unalarmed like the water flows in a clear river.. so easily and with no obstacles.
Not that they didn't recognize me.. They didn't even bother looking at me all together.
I left the hospital disguised like this, then hired a taxi and made sure to change taxis multiple times .. walked long narrow roads and changed my clothes, my locations, I even threw away my phone along with the sim card and started using a new one that I prepared earlier, not that I had anyone to call anyways, I did my best to hide my track.
When I finally reached my apartment many hours later, I figured out that my plan was perfect because no guard was around, and I was finally free.
I arranged for the divorce papers to reach Eliyas in D city right in the next day, All I needed was for him to sign those papers and my life and freedom will be restored.
I knew it was only a matter of time before Eliyas and his father would find where I went, even if I went to the end of this universe they would certainly find me, not that I had enough funds for that, not to mention that I had to contact my lawyer for the divorce settlement anyways so they can easily reach me later, but I expected that by the time they reach me Eliyas who got a double blow to his pride by both my departure and the divorce order adding to that the whole problems that we lived as a couple,I thought he would just say:
"Why am I losing my time with this woman?"
And that he would just divorce me.
But what happened in reality was that within 2 mere days he reached me!
My perfect 2 months plan was ruined in one day if you discount the day I used for escaping! I used all the money I had on a secret apartment that was discovered so pathetically soon.. Either I was a failure or my opponent was too strong.
Not only that.. The whole freaking apartment building where my apartment was, got suddenly surrounded by cars, helicopters and snipers as if I was some international fugitive!
I looked out of the window in terror seeing so many men with guns moving orderly around the building, while I was doing that, I heard a loud knocking on my door.
I tried to act as if the apartment was empty at first, but then I heard Eliyas's familiar voice yelling from behind the close door impatiently:
_"open the door or I'll break it down!"
There was really no escape from him after all.
I, defeated, carefully walked towards the door and opened it, unlike the chaos and noises outside.. Eliyas was calmly standing alone at my door.. Still, his sight frightened me more than anything else!
I didn't dare look at him for more than 3 straight seconds, I immediately turned away and started walking towards the sofa in the living room.
But before I even reached it, Eliyas who I left behind me at the door suddenly dashed inside the apartment and slammed the door loudly shut behind him, he grabbed my arm harshly and made me turn to look at him.
He looked terrifyingly angry.. My feet already started to shake seeing how dark his face was:
_"you dare leave me?" He asked with a tone coming from the depth of hell.
I was literally dying of terror looking at him.. I didn't speak.
He raised his free hand in the air, it was then when I noticed he was holding a file of papers, divorce papers to be precise, he waved them in front of my face in an insanely manner .. Then suddenly, he slammed them hard on the wall behind us with so much power that the poor file of papers creased and torn before falling weakly to the ground.
_" you dare ask for a divorce?" He said with a ready to kill voice.
In all the time we spent together and through all the problems that we lived, I shall say with certitude that Eliyas never hated the sight of me as much as he did at that hour and place, even the way his fist squeezed my arm.. I bet he wouldn't have cared even if my bone broke because of the force he used, because at that moment.. It seemed like I was his worst enemy.
I was so terrified of him that I finally decided to give up my "never speaking with him again" policy and I said while trying to free my arm from his hold:
_"you're hurting me"
Hearing what I said only made him worse, he suddenly squeezed both my arms with his fists and shook me violently yelling:
_" you know how hurting someone is?? then what do you call the things you're doing to me?!"
He gazed at me with his eyes about to pop out of his scull, His face was red.. He was Breathing fast, I bet he wanted to choke me to death at those moments.
I only kept looking at him silently.. Not even trying to free my self from him, nor trying to cope with what he was saying.
I had really invested all the power that I had in my escape plan, after he found me out I was just tired.
I don't know what look I had on my face while having such weak state of mind, all I'm sure about is that it wasn't a look that pleased Eliyas nor angered him more, the look on my face simply made him lose all his strength all at sudden, and he let go of me.
While stepping away, his face lost its color gradually, and suddenly he became so pale, his lips turned blue and started to tremble.
He walked weakly towards the sofa and sat on it as if he had no left power to stand, he buried his head between his hands and whispered:
_" How could you do this? Do you have a single idea about the horrible things i thought happened with you?.. As for those divorce papers, i will absolutely not sign them.. No, actually i'll do all i can not to let you have a divorce, this is my swear to you."
He didn't even finish talking when his phone started to ring.
He picked up the call and calmly said:
_" withdraw all the forces there's no threat, keep the guards around the building and fire the lady's old protection team they are of no use any longer"
Once he finished saying this, all the noises outside started to fade away, While the scary husband of mine in plain shirt and messy hair who was sitting in front of me, weakly lied on the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.
His face turned suddenly ghostly paler.. He was so pale that his lips had the color of his skin.. While his skin turned greyish.
And that, was the most terrifying thing i witnessed that day.
Not even his intimidating look scared me more than seeing him so sickly.
I live in a place where the first reflex we have after seeing a sick person is to bring a glass of water.
So it was very natural and expected that i dashed towards the kitchen and brought a whole bottle of water!
I sat beside him right away and shook his shoulder asking:
_"Eliyas, are you ok?"
I filled my palm with water and started splashing his face before i even gave him the chance to reply.
When he finally opened his eyes, he found me in the process of pouring water in my palm for the second time.
_"i'm fine" he replied coldly.
Of course i was not convinced, instead of splashing the water in my palm, i used it to wipe his face.
_"open your mouth .. Drink water!" I ordered.. Before pushing the bottle neck inside his throat.
At those moments, although i had no first aid qualifications i still tried my best and worried sick about him, i forgot all about our lost child, About the pain i lived, and the fact that i wanted to run away from him, i would not qualify into a human being if i had such selfish thoughts facing a sick person.
After Eliyas finished drinking water and handed me back the bottle of water i asked while putting the cap back on:
_"should i call for help?.. You fainted."
_"no need.. I didn't faint, i just dozed off" He whispered..
He suddenly encircled my waist with his arms, made us both sleep on the sofa.. And as he squeezed his head weakly on my back he added:
_" i just want to sleep, don't wake me up.. I haven't slept for two days"
I didn't try to push him away.. I let him sleep in that way for long hours.
I felt apologetic for what i did, but not too much, i still wished he'd see how toxic we were to one another.. And that he leaves for good.
At that time i was so generous letting him hug me for such long hours, i thought to my self that once he wakes up and his anger is all gone and health is restored i will talk some sense into his head and make him sign the divorce papers, i will convince him to give me back my freedom and walk out of my life, And logically remind him that we only brought hurt and suffering to one another .. That it was better if we separated.
Of course i had underestimated him by loads, that man woke up healthy like a Thor, he refused all my negotiations and further more he moved to live in my apartment for the next month and a half!
Imagining him moving to my apartment again after three years of that incident my head had already started to hurt.
I will never understand that man.. Seriously.
After i left my room I simply walked to the kitchen holding the empty glass of water, then i yelled:
_" if you expect me to cook for you again then that is your wishful thinking, if you want to eat then you buy your food by your self!"
I felt so ashamed after saying these words.. It was another way of me saying:
"You win! I can not kick a powerful man like you out of my apartment because i can't bear the consequences of that! But i will not become your maid!"
After i put the glass of water in the sink i walked to my room again, i crossed my hands on my chest and i tried to act tough and indifferent.
Even when that man walked out beaming with happiness shining like a sun and looking to die handsome i still kept pretending to be cold and indifferent.
There's a point that should be cleared in this aspect, that between us both i was the one who objected the most, and i was the one who was tempted the most as well!
That ex husband of mine is simply too handsome for me to pretend that he isn't, in the past when we were together although i didn't love him yet i acted like a shameless woman and took advantage of him all the time, let's just say that some habits are hard to restrain once the person gets used to them, i was definitely very tempted looking at the homely him.
While looking at me he finally said:
_" i'll arrange for food to be delivered.. You don't have to cook"
_"what are you doing Eliyas? Seriously.. What is this that you're doing?" I asked annoyed.
That scum .. He ignored my questions!
He started to treat the house as if it was his.. He ordered food, he sat on the sofa in the living room and started working on his laptop as if i was a ghost!
What made me almost have a nosebleed is when the food finally arrived, he leisurely put it on the small table in front of the sofa and had already started to treat that piece of beautiful furniture as trashy as i treated it before!
There's no limit to his shamefulness.
Since i didn't want to deal with him, i noticed that he ordered two boxes of food so i snatched one of them and i headed back to my room to eat on the bed.
After i finished eating i threw the box .. Turned off the lights in the whole house and i went to sleep like a queen.
My new job is indeed very luxurious, in the past i didn't have the privilege of throwing all my work behind my back once i walk out of the office, i always had to work until late hours of the night on writing articles or research. Not to mention that my working hours were very labile and i had to leave the office exhausted pretty late in the night sometimes, my new job seems like paradise compared to that, Not only my shift hours are vastly enough to finish with all the reports, we even leave the office before the shift is over sometimes and get paid for those spare hours!
Eliyas, being the Hardworking CEO who provided such a comfortable working environment for me, can absolutely not be as carefree as i was.
When i turned off the lights while he was still working i especially gave him a mocking look before heading back to my bed.
I closed my eyes and slept.
About an hour or so later i was woken up because someone was trying to squeeze his way to the other side of the bed.
For some incomprehensible reason Eliyas had always thought that i was a heavy sleeper although i was quite the opposite, and i never wanted to correct this misunderstanding for him, i believe that people tend to unveil some dirty secrets when their opponent is unguarded, And this strategy actually worked! .. I remember he said so many things while looking at my "supposedly" sleeping face like: " she doesn't look like Nana (grandmother)" .. " such a small mouth but she speaks loud" .. "Wait until i become the CEO, i'll change everything"
When he finally settled himself beside me on the bed i figured out that i was looking at his direction while sleeping, i had already planned to keep pretending that i was asleep and few minutes later i would supposedly flip in my sleep and turn to look at the opposite way.
While i was putting plans and mastering my acting skills a small whisper suddenly broke the silence.
_"i miss you"