The following days were not Happy.
Well, let's just say that my in-laws were not pleased nor grateful that their future son-in-law namely Azziz Chouli was driven out of the magazine that he established with his blood, sweat and tears.
"Assinat Magazine" was doing pretty well before Eliyas put his hands on it, it was getting more popular among younger college students and started to get the attention of international readers, i naturally was not following on the written media field for a long time since my latest work before filladi co was at a radio station, So i didn't hear of the rising popularity of this newly established magazine until Azziz appeared in front of me.
Such aspiring project was going downhill so fast that by the time Azziz gets rid of the lawsuits following him by my husband he'll find no place to go back to.. His magazine's glory will already be burned down to ashes.
Speaking of the lawsuits against him, Eliyas made sure that no capable lawyer in the country would accept to defend him, thereby even the rocky lawyers were terrified of this big hand that was moving all the chords in the background and refused to help Azziz despite the generous money Ines offered to them or the punishment of the law court, thereby what was originally defamation and conspiracy charges soon exacerbated into bigger charges under the influence of Eliyas's strong law team against a defenseless Azziz.
i don't know whether Ines succeeded in luring some lawyer later to defend Azziz because she didn't nag about it anymore, and yes, i knew all these news not because i was particularly keen of my Fraud ex, but because my mother-in-law and her daughter daily threw them selves at Eliyas, cried their hearts out and complained nonstop, that daily drama only stopped when they were finally escorted to the new villa Eliyas arranged for them.
The only person who was beaming with happiness through all this chaos was Nana, as for the reason for her unexpected, unexplainable and radiating joy it shall remain a mystery, the only assumption i can make as the granddaughter who accampanied her for long years through the thick and thin of life is that she was proud i finally had a villa of my own, and since i was always ordered around by her and hardly dared to desobey her then having a house of my own meant that she was the real lady of it and not me, because i'll naturally be under her command.
In Fact, i thought that Ines will leave Azziz's side the moment he's devoided of all his assets or at least her parents will force her to, to my surprise and admiration she didn't, she stayed by his side.. And stood against her brother even knowing the consequences of that. So one evening when Eliyas said:
_" this silly sister of mine is such a headache, the lawyer informed me that she tried to sell one of the valuable assets that i gave to her with lower than the market price, thankfully i intervened before such nonsensical trade took place"
I concealed the rising admiration i held for his sister who i always had the bad impression of her being a thoughtless and materialist woman.
We were sitting in his car coming back home from work at that time, so i eyed the serious him behind the driver's wheel with a sneaky grin and i asked:
_"tell Eliyas, did you simply seize this asset or did you go the losing way of buying it from her?"
I wanted to test how heartless my husband is towards his sister, if he seized the asset therefore denied her from the money she could get from selling it and which she clearly desperately needed, then that would mean he's a monster without an ounce of mercy, If in opposition he just bought it and gave her the money then this merciless creature is not that emotionless after all:
_"I bought it" he answered coldly.
I smiled in admiration for him as well.. I looked at the crowded streets outside the window and i added:
_"you know that she will use that money to help Azziz, don't you?"
_" actually not, she will use this money to file a lawsuit against him"
_"what!!?" I yelled totally taken aback.
I turned to look at him again and i asked confused:
_"why would she flip against him all at sudden!? Wasn't she promising to die for him only few days ago?"
_"and what do you think? It's because i finally decided to enlighten her head with few facts"
_"what did you tell her?" I asked coldly.
While he was focusing on the street in front of us he replied:
_"i called her to my office and i gave her the choice to either live with Azziz in extreme poverty in the future or to file a lawsuit against him, she naturally chose to live in poverty with him, she later found the pictures you both had in the past and the note he threatened me with, some other stuff too that you don't need to know about, i asked her again what she wanted to do after that.. I promised my self that i will let him go if she still choose him after knowing the whole truth, well, fortunately she changed her mind, and now that man who depended on her like a vegetable for the past days will have another precious item taken off his life."
What stupid admiration! This man is a beast!!
I gazed at him coldly and said:
_" so you broke her heart.. And you used her broken heart like a pawn in your game to crush Azziz even more."
He didn't comment..
After long minutes wasted in the congested streets i added:
_" do you know that this is actually the first time your sister was ever excited about someone? she even asked my opinion about him.. How could you cruelly spill out the truth to her! She already hated me before.. Now she'll spit on the floor i walk on!"
He didn't comment..
After another long time i spoke again:
_"i feel sorry for her, her heart was broken.. You should have informed her little by little, she flipped from being a totally devoted woman into a ravaging revenge beast, she even sold her asset to have enough money to go against Azziz.. It must have shocked her"
He didn't comment again..
I always had the habit of conducting a onesided conversation with Eliyas, especially when i speak about topics which doesn't take his interest at all, in the past, i used to get upset about this rude habit of his especially that i listen to whatever business nonsense he speaks about: when he says he'll acquire this company or that.. i cheer for him, when he says he ravaged the stocks of some unfortunate corporation.. i still cheer for him, even when he speaks about the most complicated and impossible to understand details i nod my head and pretend that i'm following! But when it comes to me, even when i tell him the most trivial of matters he still refrains from answering me, i even complained and swore never to speak with him again and keep the happenings of my life hidden from him if he kept this silence going, i ended up breaking that swear obviously, i came to accept my silent destiny with him after few months.
So in the car even when he didn't comment at all i still added:
_" you lack empathy.. That's it, if you had an empathetic heart like mine you would feel sorry even for your enemies, it's humanly to feel the others you know?.. I'm just wondering whether she cried after hearing the truth and you still__"
_"Noursine!" The silent beast suddenly spoke to my surprise.
He added:
_" should i remind you of the ways i was informed you had boyfriends? or that i had a son to come? or that my wife wanted a divorce? If that was called an empathetic heart then i think your understanding of empathy is very distorted."
That scum .. rendered me speechless.
Speaking of the ways he was informed about my boyfriends, i never thought i was cruel with him since at the time i had no idea he had feelings for me.
He didn't know about my first boyfriend until Samir and i were already broken up, as for the way i told him about him.. We were just sitting on the rooftop of the house in my hometown, while having a chat he said:
_" i noticed a boy walking around the house frequently lately,....he said his name is Samir"
At that moment, we were eating hawthorns.. I didn't know Eliyas hated them, being the one line thinker that i am all what was occupying my stingy head was that i started to regret sharing my delicious hawthorns with him, and that i must eat all the big meaty fruits before he gets them.
I bluntly said:
_"aah, he's my ex"
While grabbing the best sized fruit in that bag and throwing it inside my mouth.
It is indeed cruel, while someone's heart was being broken.. I only thought about hawthorns.
As for Azziz, it was way worst..
Like i told you before, i come from a place which is located 6 hours away from D city, since i live in the far east of the country even the accent with which i speak is unfamiliar and a bit hard to understand for the local Ds, not to mention the immensity of the differences the two regions had, it is like living as a foreigner in your own country.
At the time, Eliyas used to visit me once in a while, he took me to touristic sites in D city and to a variety of streets to get me familiar with the new atmosphere, since he and i were not so close, i always believed those visits were suggested by his father and that he obeyed out of obligation.. Which i really doubt right now, i think those visits were Eliyas's pure and personal decision.
He was not someone who liked to be photographed, so the pictures i took of us during those "city trips" were either forced by me or took sneakily by me without his consent, so one day while we were resting in some garden on a bench, i was holding my newly purchased professional camera flipping through the pictures i took of us both that day while he was sipping his coffee, and somehow i noticed that in comparison to the low quality pictures i used to take with my phone the ones i took with the camera exposed much more expressions of Eliyas than an indifferent cold face.. He simply looked too happy to be indifferent in them!
I was taking a photography course at the time, the last lesson i took was coincidentally how to better focus on the expressions of the face and try to best frame them in a way to convey the right emotion of the photographed, being the passionate student that i was i realized that there was a happiness in that man's eyes which i unjustly ignored, and wrongly framed.
It's like putting a sad music for a happy moment in a movie, it just doesn't fit..
So i stood up .. I walked to stand in front of him, and then i held my camera again and focused on him:
_"what are you doing?" He asked confused.
_" i want to take a picture of you smiling!.. I don't just take pictures randomly, i'm very serious! In the future if i lose this camera and it falls in the hand of a professional.. If he analyzes the pictures i took of you my exceptional photography talent will be very wronged and mercilessly slaughtered just because you don't smile!"
_"why would any of that happen?" He asked amused with a laughter.
Click..
I took a picture of his smile.
_" life is very unexpected dear cousin." I answered.. "Just a year earlier i was thinking of quitting school and marrying with some rich chubby old man, and now here i am in college .. With you in D city"
_" why would you marry a chubby old man for?" He laughed again.
I took quick successive pictures as i answered:
_" i made my point clear already .. I said he was a 'rich' old chubby man"
_" a younger rich man won't do?"
_" of course not! He will live for so long! therefore my plan of being a rich widow won't work!"
I led a long nonsensical chat with him to keep that rare smile on his face, after long minutes my phone suddenly started buzzing in my pocket. I was in love with the man who was calling me, So i naturally acted like a foolish woman and run few steps away from Eliyas to answer that call.
After i finished speaking with Azziz i walked back to my original spot to continue taking happy pictures of Eliyas.
While i was flipping through the pictures i already took in the camera and erasing the ones i didn't like to save the space before attempting to take new ones Eliyas suddenly asked:
_" who called you?"
He rarely meddled in my personal life.. Still i didn't find his question unusual at all, without even looking at him i answered:
_" my boyfriend."
There was a long silence after that, i didn't even notice how awkward that was since i was occupied with the pictures.
_" Is it Samir? You went back with him?" He asked again.
_" of course not! It's a new one.. His name is Azziz, he said he loved me and i'm not planning to break up with him for that."
Sometime later, i finally raised my camera to focus on the man sitting on the bench in front of me.
He was looking right at my lence.. But there was no left happiness in his eyes anymore.
I broke his heart for the second time without even noticing, the sparkle inside his eyes faded like it was never there and i just chose to ignore that.
I was going to mercilessly ask him to smile again, thankfully he said before i opened my stupid mouth:
_" it's getting late, i should take you back to your student residence."
He stood up.. And without waiting for my answer he walked away.
Remembering these two particular events made my stance so poor in the car, that sneaky man even took advantage of the situation and further said while driving:
_" at least i was merciful enough and explained things for her calmly and gradually, i didn't just throw a blow at her with no consideration to her acceptance process"
Although he was totally right, i still had the audacity to say:
_" your acceptance process was always incomparably fast .. I wouldn't have been cruel with you if you expressed your pain to me, how would i know what you feel if you don't tell me?"
_"there isn't such thing as 'fast acceptance process' Noursine, this is only your selfish way of minimizing the effect of your actions, pain is still painful even when we don't express it, the day when i received the divorce papers from the woman i truly treasured after her sudden disappearance i just wished she was more honest with me and expressed her wish to leave me to my face, i had that in my head when i spoke with Ines, i thought she needed to be informed honestly at least, she will be hurt in both ways.. At least she should be hurt with dignity."
I didn't dare to speak after that.. Nor comment on anything.
That night when we were about to sleep i finally whispered to the silhouette lying beside me:
_" forgive me.. For unintentionally hurting you."
Sometimes the biggest pain you cause to others.. Is the one you don't even notice you did.