I went to the filladi company building the following day, my previous jobs helped me get more familiar with D city streets, although i did not visit the Filladi co building ever since i moved to my new house and even in the past when i visited i never used public transportation, i still instinctively and successfully chose the shortest and cheapest line of buses to reach that place, i had to take a row of 3 buses.
Filladi co building was initially set in a rather isolated part of D city, in the far east extreme to be precise where the land was cheaper, bualguassem filladi had the intention of later expending the building and establishing attached sections in the empty space over the years, Now what was once a rocky hill surrounded with wheat fields.. turned into a conglomerate center with multiple office buildings and expensive apartment compounds, the mere existence of Filladi co made that place become the largest economic center in the whole country and brought many other company's buildings there, this part of D city became the dreamland of aspiring businessmen and lawyers. When i was on my way, even the type and clothing of the people on the busses was demonstrating how close was i getting to a place that is magnificent and competitive: the first bus i took had mainly families and students riding on it.. The third bus i took mainly had men in tuxedos and women in office wears.
I wasn't lacking in this visual aspect as well, i was wearing a beige formal attire and held my hair tight in a low ponytail, i looked 35 years old although i was 27, i purposefully wanted to look very serious in my first meeting with the secretary, it didn't matter to me whether i got this job offer with a deceitful way or not, As long as it was a responsibility, i had to take it seriously.
The final bus station was a bit far from the tall filladi building, so i had to walk for extra 15 minutes before reaching my destination, although my clothes were formal.. My shoes on the other hand were exactly the opposite, i was wearing sports shoes.
I thoughtfully recalled that wearing high heals or even flat sandals will make my feet swell and hurt after walking for so long, And I DO NOT want my feet to hurt anyhow, this was the reason why i chose the sports shoes and consequently looked even tinier in a street where all women wore heels.
I finally arrived at the filladi building, i have poor memories of that place since i didn't visit it often before, But still, it was the building were that man was the king, and where everyone was under his command.
I felt goosebumps seeing how tall it was.. I was so tiny compared to that building, and powerless compared to its owner.
It was one of the rare moments in my life where i felt extremely small .. And i didn't like that feeling.
When i finally attempted to walk inside, the guards at the entrance didn't recognize me, So i had to prove that i was there for a job interview before i was allowed to walk in.
In the past, whenever i came to the company, a secretary would usually stand at the entrance expecting for my arrival. I had never voluntarily came to this place actually, my each and every single visit was to do my "then" husband a favor.
Sometimes, because he forgot certain files at the villa so he asked me to bring them personally to his office, sometimes because he forgot a flash disk. And yes.. He absolutely refused that any assistant would do these trivial things for him, he insisted that i personally find and deliver whatever he needed.. His excuse was "that he only trusted me with these important stuff".
A businessman indeed has sharp eyes and smart brain, he must have known that even if i tried to read them and spy on the info i would understand nothing since my major was not economics but journalism. Even if i wanted to cheat him and transfer these files to his enemies my consciousness as an honest journalist would forbid me from committing such a thing .. and my fear of the monstrous Eliyas too of course.
Remembering this silly past me who did every thing for him, I wondered whom Eliyas entrusts this mission to after i left?
_"Miss Noursine Saadat?" A woman in a black office attire called when i was sitting in the waiting hall..
I nodded my head.
She scanned me carefully, then she said:
_" sorry for keeping you waiting for so long.. Follow me."
Realising she was the secretary i was supposed to meet, i followed her inside her office without complaint.
In fact, our appointment was at exactly 9am.. It was 10:17 when she finally showed up, I didn't mind the long waiting since i'm used to it being a journalist, Sometimes we had to wait for days and kept observing silly situations just to get a scoop, even when the waiting was not fruitful i still kept my patience and never lost my nerves.
In my private life, i'm waiting too.. i'm always waiting, for a divorce, for a change of his heart, for him to stop harassing my life, i keep waiting.. as if i'm destined to live a 1000 years, i never complained about the time i wasted.
What was important for me when i met the secretary is, At least, she didn't cancel the appointment and i didn't waste the money for transportation in vain.
_" you're a journalism graduate." she commented while browsing through my cv.
I nodded.
She red my resume in a serious manner behind her desk, While i sat patiently on the chair in front of her. After a brief time, she asked:
_" you have no commerce degree? Nor any experience working for any trading company?"
Her tone was rather furious this time.
_" No, as you can see in my cv, I'm a journalist, all my previous expertise is solely in this field."
Once i finished speaking, all her serious mannerism simply faded away, her face turned so red when she added:
_" where do you expect me to hire you then? Your employment order came from the superiors.. But If they plan to plant a journalist in the company then at least they should teach you anything first.. This is very unprofessional!"
I understood her, she seemed like a very dedicated employee,maybe she had no idea of the background of my employment order so she assumed i was ambiguous and got this chance using my acquaintances.
That stupid Eliyas, he made me lose face for no reason!
_"i understand if you refuse to give me any post in the company." I finally said.
_"i sure won't!"
She put my resume back on the desk, then she looked at me impatiently and said:
_" I hope you contact the superior who ordered to hire you despite being totally unqualified and tell him if this incident happens again i will personally report it to the CEO myself. Have a good day miss Saadat"
The problem is .. This superior..is actually same almighty CEO she wants to report to.
I lost face in every possible way, I've always been proud of my dedication and honesty towards my jobs, so i was so embarrassed being treated like someone who uses ambiguous ways to get employed.
I didn't say a word, I simply stood up and left her office, praying Eliyas would forget about my matter and wouldn't force me to see any other secretary and go through the same embarrassment again.
Actually .. Thinking about what happened again..
Why did i have to see a secretary and be rejected and scolded if i was recommended by the CEO himself in the first place?
He could have simply given me a job anywhere in the company, He's more than capable of doing that, so why was the secretary treating me like i was a pimple on the face although i was obliged to go see her in the first place!
There was only one logical answer to all of this, Eliyas did this on purpose, to embarrass me.. And belittle me.
He didn't tell the secretary about anything.. And made me come all the way just to get scolded and refused!
What a petty person!
I didn't take the matter to my heart initially because that lady was only doing her job and following the formalities, but now that i realised this accident was on purpose and must have been his doing then i shall take the matter very seriously!
You see, That man is not unfamiliar with embarrassing me, he did this before already!
Remember when i caught him once hugging Lydia and i confronted them about it and he said nothing?
Well, after that incident.. He made me realise who i was compared to them, and the little significance i had in his life.
He humiliated me.. just to please Lydia.
I remember at the time, my mother-in-law hosted a business party in the villa, Only la crème de la crème in the society were invited.
What she did though, was that she gave exclusive press coverage to the broadcasting channel for which i worked at the time, she promised them that the party will have important news to be revealed and that every media in the country will kill to have it as their scoop. Her only condition for this generous offer was.. that i will be the sole journalist to cover the event.
Back then, I had already lost a job because my husband had suspended the whole freaking channel i worked for. It was very hard for me to find a new job in this new broadcasting channel, being a new recruit with little experience made this new post very unstable.
When my superior ordered me to go it was a matter of certainty that i will lose my job if i refuse, with very poor chances of finding a new one.
I obviously and logically had to go,
I wore a dress.. Not so fancy, yet not something to mock, The two camera men who accompanied me wore suits.. they seemed a bit sloppy, but we all looked decent.
I remember walking inside the villa's garden which was decorated very beautifully, it was a dark night yet the garden looked as if it was bathing in sunlight, everything sparkled there.. Even people.
I was always banned from attending such events, although the sound of classical music and incoherent chats always penetrated my room where i'd usually be hidden as if i was a shame to cover while the party is held downstairs, i never felt curious to have a look at what was happening outside my big room's closed doors.
I was finally present at one of filladi's glamorous parties, but only as a mere journalist to take pictures of what their amazing life looked like and then show those pictures to the people who were not worthy of being there, Just like me.
I did my job perfectly, I interviewed all the big shots like my superiors asked me to, i smiled although i didn't have the heart to.. And i stepped on my pride and even interviewed my mother in-law and recorded all her kiss-hell talk and hidden mockeries.
But that was all nothing compared to what happened next, all the guests suddenly started applauding while the chorus stopped playing music, everyone was looking at a certain direction, when I followed them and looked at that certain side in the garden.. my heart and pride were crushed.
My husband, that scum, was holding Lydia's arm in his and walking beside her..
Slowly.. they walked between the guests, shining like stars, looking like a couple of godly creatures blessed by the heavens together.
All i thought about at that moment, besides feeling so hurt was: "then who am i to him?"
They finally reached the center of the garden, they stood beside each other .. Holding arms.. And they greeted everyone.
One of The camera men who accompanied me whispered to my ear:
_"it seems like 'they' are the event of tonight.. I'll go take a video of them and then we'll interview them later".
He quickly started recording while i stood numb beside him.
Eliyas was looking indifferently to his surroundings, i bet that scum knew i was there and didn't dare to look me in the eyes.
He didn't look at the camera which was so obviously right in front of him, not even for one second, because he knew i was standing right beside it.
Lydia on the other hand, was very bold, She looked at no other direction, at absolutely no one .. Except for me.
Her smile was wide and sinister, she held Eliyas's arm tighter and daringly, Reminding me that i was nothing compared to her.
_" we have happy news to announce to everyone!" She suddenly said after a long complimentary speech.
She took a deep breath .. Looked at Eliyas standing beside her.
However, that lowly man, he didn't look back at her, because at that moment when i felt less than nothing, Eliyas Filladi finally decided to look at me.
That cold face.. And those eyes, i will never forget them.
I will never forget that he invited me there just to let me witness him holding another woman's arm and presenting her to the public as his woman while hiding me in the dark and keeping me as a secret and shame.
I'm a journalist, i know what type of "happy news" a young matched couple would announce..
And that man looked at me daringly wanting to see the expression on my face the moment his lovely girlfriend announces that they were going to get married.
At that moment i thought:
"To hell with my job."
I couldn't stand being there any longer.. So i turned and i walked away like a bird with a broken wind.
Not long after i left the garden, I heard footsteps coming fast towards me,
So i turned around to see who was coming, i found Eliyas running to catch me.
He stopped right in front of me, Breathing fast.
I looked him in utter disappointment, wasn't it enough for him to hurt me earlier? He even decided to follow me to put salt on my wounds?
I weakly looked at him, and calmly said:
_"are you here to humiliate me even more? Or you're here to rejoice with the pitiful look on my face?"
Although i didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing my tears.. But i couldn't hold them.
And i cried in front of him.. Like a useless person, i cried in front of the man who hurt me.
That scum.. Only stared silently at my crying face.
_" you're taking revenge for her, because i confronted you the last time and scolded you" i added.. While nervously trying to wipe my tears.
I didn't love that man, but he was my husband after all, and he was crushing me like i was a bug.
_"No .. I'm not taking any revenge, you misunderstood" he finally spoke.
_"you're a scum!" I shouted between my sobs.
My heart was hurting so much that i put my palm on top of my chest desperately wanting to stop the pain.
It hurt me so much, like never before.
then i looked at him powerlessly and finally confessed to him:
_"i wanted to decently walk out of your life and have a divorce last weak when i saw you hugging her but i couldn't.. Only god knows how much i hate you but i couldn't leave, because i'm pregnant you scum! I only stayed because i'm pregnant!"
_"you're pregnant?" He asked in disbelief, as if the baby wasn't his.
I didn't even say a word in response to that,
When did i become so low? That even my lawful husband acts like this.
That man closed his eyes tight and exhaled in pain, as if a bomb blown his life.
_" Noursine .. I will fix everything, i promise.. just be patient for a while. " he finally added after looking intensely at me.
I guess a "baby" was an unexpected news to him and ruined his perfect plan of getting rid of me that night.
I didn't want to see him any longer and feel more disappointed.. So i walked away, he didn't follow me again..
He really fixed everything ultimately.. He got rid of the baby.
Remembering what happened that day while standing outside the secretary's office, i felt so enraged, so i did what i found right .. I had to confront that freak no matter what!
I took the elevator,then i stopped at the top floor where his office was.
When i reached the office hall, his administrative secretary and the guards blocked my way and asked in an impatient manner:
_"where are you going? Who are you?"
i replied mockingly:
_"just tell your amazing CEO that Noursine is here to see him, he'll be more than happy to see me now."
The secretary contacted him while looking at me suspiciously, then soon said to me:
_" you can go to his office now"