Chapter 16: 16. Before Sunrise

Before Sunrise is a 1995 romantic drama film. The first installment in the Before trilogy, it follows Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Céline (Julie Delpy) as they meet on a Eurail train and disembark in Vienna to spend the night together. [Source: Wikipedia]

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FFANC: Nathan liked the movie until at the end they decided to be stupid and make promises they won't be able to keep.

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Chapter Sixteen: Before Sunrise

I couldn't shake off the memory of the dream, despite my attempts to ignore it since yesterday. The details were fading, but I vividly recalled the moment when he climbed into bed, shirtless, and said ‘my turn’. Shit. That was more than enough.

Nathan's gaze landed on me, and he seemed to recognize me after a brief pause. He approached me with a smirk, causing my heart to skip a beat.

I took a couple quick glances towards his wrist. Maybe it was just in my imagination, but he wore the scrunchie as though it were something priceless.

“Hey, there, Kingsley,” Nathan smirked down at me.

He approached and put both hands on the wall next to my head before crouching down to look me in the eyes.

“Are you following me now?” Nathan Callahan asked.

My breath got stuck in my throat. I remembered sliding down his body yesterday. The beats of music pulsed through the room, through my heart.

“Came here with my friend,” I muttered, “looks like you're following me now, Callahan.”

His smirk grew, “Bullshit. You knew I'd be here. Don't I go to every party, get drunk and wild and take some girl home?”

Take some girl home. I didn't like the sound of that. Not that it mattered, of course.

I rolled my eyes, regardless. He really knew how to joke about the bad-boy narratives that people attached to him. “Sure.”

He straightened, still caging me with his palms on either side of me, blocking my view of the room, “So, where is the friend of yours?”

“Why does it matter?” I shrugged as I looked up at him.

Nathan smiled, “Ditching her already now that you found me?”

At that moment, I truly turned to glance around, hoping that Leanna wasn't near. “You wish.”

“I don't have to,” Nathan replied. I huffed. There was no point in reasoning with his arrogance.

“So, Fletch and Theo thought it'd be nice to destroy their house?” I was curious.

Nathan shifted to lean against the wall behind us. His arm brushed my shoulder. It made me think of that night we wandered around.

If you must be heartbroken, let it be me.

“Don’t ask me. Their folks are out of town. They forced me to set it up.”

“Really?” I glanced up at him, “You set this all up?”

I looked at the kitchen, at the cups and drinks, and snacks.

Nathan shrugged. Then he looked me up and down, from head to toe, “You look horrible.”

“You sure do know how to compliment me,” I responded, exasperated and glanced down at the beer cup in my hand.

It made him laugh, “Did you think of me when you dressed up?”

“Why'd I ever?”

God, what'd he do if he knew I had dreamed of him?

“Cause we match, Kingsley. This looks like some coupley shit. All we need is either drugs or bikes and a ticket to an Arctic Monkeys concert.”

I let out a laugh. When I focused on him, he smiled and his eyes crinkled.

My heart was skipping beats. I ignored it.

“Why'd you wear all black, all the freaking time?” I had always wondered.

He sighed and looked at his shoes. Looking dejected and dramatic, Nathan replied, “I can't afford anything else.”

“No, seriously.”

“It's true!” He shook his head. “Should've bought some clothes instead of 35 different shapes of cookie cutter.”

“No way.” I chuckled.

“Mhm.”

“But why all black then?” I said.

“Everyone once in their life has an emo phase, Kingsley,” He said, “Like you're having yours now.”

I glared, “No, I'm not.”

He looked me over pointedly, at my current all black outfit.

I ignored his look and gazed straight ahead. I knew what I was doing. It wasn't an emo phase.

After some time, I bumped his shoulder, then added, “I don't think your emo phase ended.”

“It ended long ago,” He glared, “But mom said ‘I am not buying you more clothes until you have holes in these.’”

“And here I thought you were mourning the heaviness of existence and the cruelty of life itself.” I tsked at him.

“That too,” he nodded.

“Such a sad life you lead, Callahan.”

“You have no idea,” He answered, grinning.

I searched around for Leanna, just in case. I could not see her anywhere. Nathan and I were almost too distant from the chaos in the living room. We were next to a sliding glass door that led into the backyard. I noticed people having fun outside. However, I had no urge to join them.

I felt Nathan's arm suddenly wrap around my shoulder. I glanced at him as my nerves jumped. His arm tightened around me, nearly pulling me to his chest as he looked off to my right.

I followed his line of vision.

I found a guy looking at us. Maybe not at us, but at me. I'd never seen him before. Most likely, he attended Cycreak high. I didn't think I looked particularly good but he was ogling me. Something about his stare made me feel uncomfortable.

I looked back at Nathan and found him gazing at me. His jaw clenched, a slight hardness to his face, “So you were saying?”

“N-nothing?” I wasn't saying anything at all. I couldn't think of saying anything coherent.

I could feel his body heat through his shirt. I could feel the brush of his arm on my neck and shoulder. I could almost hear his heartbeats.

My dream flashed through my mind.

His green eyes were right on mine. The room vanished from my mind. The music dulled. All I could hear was him.

“Emily,” He said almost in a whisper right at that moment. “Your eyes.”

“What...what about my eyes?”

Nathan leaned closer, “I have never really paid attention.”

I knew.

“There's some green in it,” he murmured, “And some blue too.”

I swallowed, “I always thought they look horrible.”

“No,” He scowled, “Why'd you say that?”

“Yeah, I assumed they're the shade of water where you clean your brushes while you do painting?”

Nathan gave me a confused look.

“Like, It has all the color but the mix looks like dirt. Sometimes you can see streaks of paint but most often it's just an ugly shade of brown.”

“God,” He covered his face with his hand, “That's not true.”

“It is.”

He gave me a look.

“Fine, you tell me,” I prodded.

“Yours are the most fascinating pair of eyes I've ever seen.”

I stared at him. I was stunned into silence. And so was he. He swallowed and looked away abruptly. But his arm was still resting on my shoulder, and I was still tucked into him.

“You just complimented me.”

I murmured.

“That's exactly why I don't do it.” He said in a low voice.

“What do you mean?” I demanded.

He focused back on me, looking less flustered and more cocky, “If I complimented you for real, you'd be a melted poodle on the floor and that'd be a problem.

I glared, “Try me.”

“Fishing for compliments.”

“Indulge me, Callahan.”

He sighed like he didn't want to do it. Then he leaned down, so his lips touched the shell of my ear. His thumb stroked my chin.

I held my breath. All my consciousness gathered everywhere he touched.

“I'm the moth, and you're the flame.” He whispered so low that the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

“And I can't stop myself.”

I felt goosebumps rise all over me.

He leaned away, straightened himself, avoiding my eyes.

But I remained there, stuck in time, repeating his words again and again, in my head, so that I'd never forget it.

My stomach had an elephant in it, butterflies be damned.

“You stole my line, Callahan,” I finally managed to say.

I glanced up at him. Our eyes met. He breathed out in a rush. “Emily.”

Were we having a moment? The question flashed through my mind as I gazed at him.

I opened my mouth to say something. However, our moment was short-lived, interrupted by a distraction in the background. I didn't pay attention. But Nathan's eyes darted behind me. They narrowed.

“The love of your life is here,” He said, looking at the entrance.

He withdrew from me, removing his arm from my shoulder, pushing me off his chest.

I frowned, “Huh?”

He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, “I said, the love of your life is here.”

“Who?” I pursed my lips as I tried to see where he was pointing.

I spotted Landon McArther.

He released me as soon as I did.

“Oh,” I said in a low voice.

Nathan leaned against the wall again. His face was drained of all emotions. It felt like the whole 'moment' thing was all in my head.

“Shouldn't you go and 'greet' him?”

If I could only turn back time.

I took my place beside him, my shoulder touching his arm, “I'm no match for him.”

“What?” He scowled, “Have you looked at yourself?”

I glanced at him, and he continued, “You could do so much better.”

I looked back to where Landon was. He was talking to some guy.

“Look at him,” Nathan said, “He looks like he has poured an entire jar of gel over his hair. I swear to God, if you touched them, your hand would come away slimy.”

That made me giggle. "No, he didn't.”

“Of course he did,” Nathan said. I shook my head.

Landon was wearing a maroon silk shirt with his usual khakis. His blonde hair, as Nathan had said, looked wet, and it was pushed back from his forehead.

“He looks...” I had nothing to say.

“Like my dad would if he was trying to dress up for a house party thrown by teens ,” Nathan replied, “What's with that shirt?”

He sounded disgusted. I slapped his arm, “Come on, don't be mean.”

“As long as it makes you laugh.”

He said it with a shrug.

I didn't think he understood the magnitude of his words. He simply didn't have any ideas.

“I just can't believe you like him so much,” He continued, “And then you think he's out of your league.”

I looked forward, “Well, he is.”

It wasn't the best excuse. But it was the only excuse I could come up with right then.

“Go talk to him,” He bumped my shoulder again, “Once he sees you, he’ll only think of you.”

“Like you do?” I joked.

I spared him a glance. Nathan was looking my way, "No, I don't, Kingsly. I'm going to find the twins or something. Good luck with,” He gestured towards where Landon might be, “That.”

Then he started walking away. I wanted to stop him. But he didn't even look back once.

I stood there and watched him leave. I always seemed to do that.

So I took a deep breath, turned around and found my way towards Landon.

I pushed a few people, bumped shoulders with a few, until I found him walking around the kitchen with his nose wrinkled.

“Hey,” I said.

Landon turned, “Emily?”

I nodded, “Yes, that would be me.”

His smile got bigger, “What are you doing here?”

I thought about telling him about Leanna, but then I realized she might not like that. “What are you doing here?” I asked instead.

“Oh, I thought this would be fun,” He was looking around again, with his lips curled as if he didn't like what he saw. “Did you find anything to drink?”

I raised my solo cup, and Landon grimaced, “You are drinking that?”

“You don't like beer either?”

Landon shook his head, “Honestly, no. Keg beer tastes so freaking cheap.”

“Oh,” I said as I put the cup down, “I don't think they have anything else.”

Landon looked at the snacks, “This is the best they could do?”

He was looking at the various chips in the bowls. They looked alright to me. These were chips, how else would they look. I remembered how Nathan had helped put the party together. I picked up one chip up and put it in my mouth.

Landon protested, “Hey, don't eat that.”

I swallowed, “Why not?”

He came around and brought out a tissue from his pocket and wiped his face, “Aside from the horrible snacks, I feel so stuffy.”

I frowned, “Why?”

“You don't? Can't you see how many people are here right now?” He shook his head as he looked around over my shoulder, “If they didn't have enough space, why invite so many people?”

I remembered how I had come uninvited as well, “You know teenagers, they hear parties, and they pour in.”

Where was his girlfriend? I thought to myself. For the first time ever.

Trouble in paradise, Leanna's voice floated back to me from my memory. I wanted to know if that was true.

He shrugged and said, “These Cycreak dudes really don't know how to throw a party, huh?”

He was trying to get me in on his opinions. But the twins were kind of my friends.

“Well, I guess they tried.” I shrugged. I was getting kind of bored listening to him complain. I wished he talked about something else.

He ran a hand through his hair. I recalled Nathan's comment about him pouring a gel jar over his head. So I noticed when he pulled back his head. It kind of came away wet.

I broke out in a laugh, despite myself, and covered my mouth.

Landon raised an eyebrow, “What is it?”

I was about to ask him about the gel, like a stupid. I mentally slapped myself and cussed Nathan for putting that idea in my head, “Nothing, just a joke I remembered.”

“Oh?” Landon said, “Let me hear it.”

The only joke that was in my brain was sodium, so I said, “Do you have 11 protons?”

Landon's eyebrow wrinkled, “Umm, no?”

“Cause you're sodium fine.” I said as I giggled.

Landon didn't laugh. He stared at me like he couldn't understand what I was saying, so I repeated, "Sodium, as in So damn fine, you know, like-”

He still didn't get it. But he nodded, “Oh, gotcha.”

I didn't think he did.

Some moments passed in awkward silence as we both stood in the kitchen looking towards the living room. Then, out of nowhere, Landon McArther asked, “So, Emily, are you single?”

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