Chapter 50: Chapter 50: Mom

He is all in wolf mode in his head and acting like a male hitting the haze. Possessively close,

practically bearing down on me as the femme he clearly wants to bone. It's a little unnerving that he

is being so weird, but I get it ... I left him. I knew where I was and was in control of my being gone,

so I never had that frantic pain of loss. I always knew where he was, and how to reach him, and

could have if I needed, and wanted to, but he had none of that.

He just had silence, no idea where in the world I went and not knowing if I was okay, so I guess it's

why he seems a little stirred up and wolfy crazy. His bond instincts to protect me must have made

him insane these last weeks, and until now I never really thought of it. How that must have made

him feel, the powerless nature of it. Especially if he could feel my fear, my panic, my sadness, in

everything I have been through. His wolf taking over, and sheer instinct is to stay on my ass and

convince me I need, and like him stuck to me. That primal aggressive urge to stick to his mate and

kill anything that comes near her.

Normally the human in us counterbalances it a lot better than he is, but I guess I can let it slide

while he’s caught in our first moments of reunion. My scent alone must be affecting him on all kinds

of unbearable levels, because even his is getting under my skin and making me crazy. It's taking all

my will power to not turn and wrap myself around him.

I walk a few steps to put distance between us unsuccessfully, him bumping me the whole way in an

almost claustrophobic manner. I stop when I know we're fully inside and then reach, feeling his face

above mine with his taller height, having him towering behind me. I cup his chin just behind me,

stretching my arm slightly and lift it, so he looks directly at the corner where Sierra lays in front of

him. His senses are all on me so that he hasn't even clicked she's here. That there's anyone else in

here.

There's a moment of pause. I sense the heart stop, and inhale. I feel everything that he exudes, and

it makes my own emotions fade in comparison. His shift from “I need you’ possessive over-hormonal

crazy, to “what's going on’ confusion, and then the “is that?’ shock as everything about him changes

Colton steps around me instantly, freeing me from his presence as his attention is swept out from

under him and darts to the bed in the dark. Swift, and direct, seeing exactly who it was in the

dimness. Doc seems to be shuffling around and manages to click something that illuminates the

back of the truck with built in low lights and I focus on Colton sliding to his mom's side, scooping

up her hand carefully, and almost gasping in shock. He leans in, making her look so small in

comparison to him and gently strokes his thumb across her pale hand. All the tenderness of a sweet

child, infatuated with the mom he’s been pining for years.

“Mom.... Is that really you? Can you hear me?” he sounds like a lost little boy, so young, and

vulnerable, an aching rawness to his tone, and for a moment I forget my anger and nothing but

compassion for him fills my heart. I can feel the way this has ripped his heart open, and his pulse is

racing so speedily, mine starts to match it. Colton regresses ten years, and he’s just a boy finding his

mom, whom he’s needed for so long, so much more than anyone could ever have known.

"She's sedated; the doc needs to wake her, but she doesn’t know what's going on. Colton, you need

to know.... there's nothing wrong with her mind.” I point out, coming level with him, and resting my

hand on his arm as he stares at her, eyes fixed on her face. His breathing is shallow, and the

confusion and pain is evident under that furrowed brow, and glowing amber eyes. He can't contain

his emotion, so his wolf is showing. He swallows hard, reaches out lifting a strand of her hair and

brushes it back gently, so carefully like she’s fine china, so fixated on her, like this is some kind of

dream he doesn't want to wake from.

"How...... where?” his voice breaks, a harsh croak, and the doc seems to keep his distance to let me

be the one to explain. It's not an easy thing to tell a guy that the father he loved all this time is the

reason his mother was imprisoned and put to sleep. I don't even know how or where to begin, and I

hesitate, looking to the doc, mildly panic stricken for a moment when it comes to me. The doc

shrugs and nods at him, as though encouraging me. I think he’s a little intimidated by Colton to be

fair, I mean he did threaten to kill him three minutes ago.

I don't need to tell him. I need to show him. It's the only way I know how.

“It's a long story, I think maybe it's better to do it this way. So you can see for yourself.” I whisper,

reaching up and laying my fingertips on his temple and wait for his permission. Tensing as my touch

seems so light and hesitant on him, that familiarity dragging me to draw closer. Colton nods,

oblivious to me really, while his attention is on her, knowing I mean projecting my memories. I can't

blame him; he’s searched for her for so long, so no wonder she's all he sees.

I close my eyes and begin to push them his way, rifling through and trying to find a starting point as

I drag them to the forefront. I decide on one, right from my decision to turn east and follow that

path, to finding the facility, then being caught... Deacon, the doctor, the cell and finding Sierra, right

until we got out and I linked Colton. I show him every second on that timeline, even how they kept

her, and where, and hope it all filters in while he's so distracted.

I need to give him all of it, even the parts I'm afraid of him knowing, because I don't have the words

to tell him about his father, and I don't have the strength to tell him about my family. Or that we're

both hybrids.

Colton stands stock still, as it all plays in and he relives what I did in the past couple of days, seeing,

hearing, learning everything I did. Feeling what I did and experiencing everything he must have felt

from afar. In microseconds of time, the way transference works. Even the part I was most afraid of

telling him.... that I'm a half breed vampire.

I feel him close me out as soon as the images of the last memory fade away. Like a shutter coming

down as he disconnects from me, and that wall of emotion blanking, pushes me away. It's not

something most wolves can do, especially to an imprinted bond, but Colton does it right now and

shields me from everything he’s feeling in the moment and numbs me out. It's an alpha gift, to

shield loved ones from the pain and horror.

It shocks me, hurts me a little too, but I don't think he’s doing it to punish me. I think he’s doing it

because he knows his own emotions are completely overwhelming and he doesn't want to make me

feel them too. He's protecting me and pulling back so he doesn't share what he’s experiencing. He

stands, lets go of his mom's hand and looks over my head at the doc, a glazed distant expression

and not what I was expecting at all. A look of determination as that leader takes over and he stands

that little bit taller, moving to take charge mode.

"How long do you need before you can wake her?” There's a coldness to his tone, a lack of feeling

and I wonder if he has recoiled even from his own feelings, because it was too much for him, or if he

is just really, really pissed. I honestly cannot tell, but there is a brewing storm in the air around him,

even if he is shielding me. I guess finding out everything in your life was a lie, and the villain in your

story is your own father, has to hurt as much as what I learned about what he did to my family.

“A couple of days to bring her round fully, but she may take weeks to properly come to and recover

enough to turn, there is no telling. She's been asleep for a very long time, and I don't know what

kind of harm that has caused her.” The doctor looks helpless and I can tell he too doesn’t know how

to react to Colton being so.... unemotional. It's like he didn't find his long-lost mother laid sedated

in the back of a truck, and he’s absently directing some lost tourist on where to go next.

“I'll drive. You stay back here with my mom. The manor is another thirty minutes, minimum, and we

need to get going before that asshole Deacon and his failure sub pack show up. I don't want to be

spilling blood in human territory.” That growl, a hint of anger, and I guess I feel a little smug about

that. Colton might actually rip that jerk a new one after all. I honestly hope Deacon does show up,

because I know my Santo will kick that Santo’s ass into next week, and I actually don’t mind letting

him have that one. Watching will be as much joy as doing it.

He doesn't even look at me, just nods at the doctor to bolt the doors and then walks forward to the

cab and climbs into the driver seat, smoothly, and fluidly, like he's driven military medical trucks his

whole life and doesn’t even blink an eye at it. Stopping and staring out the window at the

assembled vehicles out there and I know he’s linking the pack to tell them to move. He's issuing

orders, and I follow and climb into the passenger seat, a little afloat with the sudden disconnect in

him and unsure how to behave. This version is a Colton I don't know, and even I feel like I should do

what he says.

I screw my eyes up at the trucks, counting maybe five, and way too many for the sub pack, unless

they're spread thinly among them, but can't make out who's driving at all. The headlights are

screwing with my night vision and I can't see anything but light glare when I try and look past them.

I wonder if Meadow can see me, and I long for nothing more right now than to go hug her. She

would get a hug; Colton can go to hell, well maybe not right now as he seems like he could

probably use one.

As soon as we hear the door lock get slid and clicked in place, he glances back to make sure the doc

has pulled down one of the folding seats and strapped himself in before he moves us on. The fleet

of vehicles roar into life and two stay back to let us pass and follow. So, we're flanked, and Colton

just focuses on driving. He positions us right in the middle of the other cars as though they're

escorting some sort of president. A precious cargo who needs their protection. I guess we are. The

Luna is as important as the Alpha in a pack, she's our Queen.

My need to have him say something overpowers my need to be mad at him, and I reach out placing

my hand on his bicep gently.

"Are you okay?” I sound like that feeble girl from so long ago that imprinted on him, and not the

person I've been growing into these past weeks. When faced with this guy, it seems I become a

submissive, lovesick, fool, and I silently hate myself for it. Colton seems different too now though, as

I sit and evaluate his profile in the light of the headlights shining back at us from the rear of the

black four by four in front.

He looks like Colton, still cute boy with dimples that are prominent whenever he moves his face in

any in kind of way which could melt any grown ass women's panties. Still handsome, dreamy, pretty

boy face, with that air of cheeky confidence, but yet he seems older. More mature, maybe a slight

aging that has him seeming less carefree, and high school jock, and somehow more capable and

serious in a way he wasn't before. There's a darkness around him that was never there and without

tapping into his feelings, I don't know what it is. It's more than just learning about his mother; it was

there when he walked into me outside the truck. Colton’s carrying a weight and I want to know

what. There's a shift and it's like some of his youthful light has gone out.

“I don't want to talk about this right now...I need to.... just let me be, Lorey. Just for a minute.” A

petulant shrug of his arm so I stop touching him, and it's like being scolded. An unexpected rebuff

from the guy who just minutes ago hugged the life out of me with sheer need, and now I'm not

allowed to touch him. I shouldn't be upset. He's hurt, he's processing, and he’s in his own head, and

it's pretty hypocritical for me to be mad about that. I didn't want him touching me, and that hasn't

changed.

I try to link him, thinking maybe talking that way will help soothe him, away from the doc’s ears and

he might be more open to being less cagey with his feelings but he has the door closed and I can't

get through at all. He's literally locked me out in every way, and I don't even know if this is normal

behavior for him when he’s nursing pain, or if this is because he remembers I'm not his mate and he

should only be sharing that space with her.

Fuck you, Carmen. Fuck you, Colton.

I hate that he can make me feel this way, a new storm swishing around inside of me and I have to

stop myself from glaring at him. A new surge of conflicting pain and I resist the urge to slap him. I

sit back in my chair and pull my legs under me, hauling my body in tight to self soothe, calm the

torrent of crazy, and try not to stare at him, or throw shade. it's hard when he’s right there, yet feels

a thousand miles away, and my own emotions are in uproar. I can't even pick a side and stick to it.

I want to be mad at him and hate him, I have every right, but when he’s near I can't stop this

overwhelming pain and heartbreak he causes me, although right now, I've added compassion and

empathy to that mix, and I'm dying inside for him. Even while cursing him. I want to ease his own

pain and as stupid as it seems, I'm devastated he’s closing me out like it has nothing to do with me.

I'm so confused at my idiot thoughts and responses

"Where are we going?” I utter it his way, unable to not say something to him, even though he said

he doesn't want to talk. I can't sit in painful silence feeling like this. Colton exhales with a sigh that

signals he's not really into answering but compelled to do so.

“To the manor I inherited from my mom. It's someplace my father never had any control over. It's

where we've been staying these past weeks. Lorey, I told you, so much has changed.” Colton’s eyes

flick my way, he frowns at me and sighs again, and then looks back at the road and doesn't

elaborate. I mean I get he's currently working through some of his own shit in his mind, but an

explanation would be nice. This minimal chat bull crap isn’t working for me,

“Such as?” I push, locking my eye on him with a flash of stubborn and I cant miss the way his

whole-body tenses up. The exhale, frustrated grip on the steering wheel, because it's obvious I'm

not going to shut up and leave him alone, and that has him rolling his shoulders to relieve tension

while he decides answering is inevitable.

“The pack is divided. Half are here with me, the other at the mountain. There was a fight, when I

challenged my father for leadership, and it got real messy. The people were turning and with more

attacks in the west, he was becoming a dictator, forcing the people under his command, and

treating them like they were all his prisoners. I had to do something, and he didn't like it. He lost! ....

I'm the rightful alpha of the Santo pack now, but instead of stepping down gracefully as the laws

dictate, he ordered those loyal to him to take out me and mine.” It's an exasperated tone, explaining

something he clearly doesn't want to, and it revs up that aura of closed off hostile around him. I

gawp at him in wide eyed shock, heart thundering crazily, trying to really pull those words together.

It hits me that while I was having my own existential crisis, so was he.

“I don't know what to say.” I stammer, side swept with that revelation of events, that I honestly

never saw coming at all. That explains that cloak of darkness around Colton. Since I left his whole

world has turned upside down, and his father already gave him reason to hate him, making my

enlightening news somewhat less unbelievable. My memories only added fuel to his fire.

“There's nothing to say. My father tried to kill me. You were the catalyst, I guess... you leaving me,

realizing that I was an idiot and lost the only thing that should have mattered. I failed you, and then

a shit storm blew up around me with another vamp attack and life imploded. My father’s men are at

war with his own people, still under threat of new vamp attacks. We're scattered across the north

and I have a sizeable chunk at my mom's estate, hiding out, scared shitless.” there's a calm sort of

acceptance in his tone, as though he’s not okay, but this is his reality and he’s dealing with it in

anyway he knows how.0000