Chapter 77: Chapter 78: I Miss You

Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening BookWords: 33342

I stare from my bedroom window into the darkness of the dense forest and the distant mountains,

rising like sinister slashes in the night, and try like crazy to feel him out there. Focusing everything I

have in sensing him, connecting in some small way, just so I can fill that empty void of sadness that I

have carried with me all day. His absence is like ripping out my soul and tossing it aside carelessly

and nothing I have done can distract me form how much this hurts, how much I want him to come

home to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I'm emotionally weary, exhausted and

have cried stupidly, on and off since I came to our room alone. Hating that it just amplifies how

empty this place is without him.

Since the fog appeared all parts of our bond seem to be severed and nothing works, not even being

able to feel his emotions or pain anymore. It's like he’s dead, nonexistent and I can't do anything

except helplessly gaze for signs of our pack out there in the shadows and grasp onto the love I have

for him and the hope that we can undo this.

We spotted them all day, through the trees, circling, watching us hungrily. Trying to get in, always

aggressively attacking the walls if we ventured too close and now the whole village knows exactly

what's happened. How could they not. They could see them, hear them snarling and growling and

they spotted their Alpha running wild and looking feral as he personally checked every inch of the

perimeter for a way in.

The fog dispersed enough to see through it as though a murky morning haze lies over everything

out there, but it's not completely gone, it's just spread further and wider and no longer condensed

as it was, and we have no idea how many miles it stretches. For all we know it could be spreading

far and wide and taking in packs galore as it creeps through the states.

One of our villagers came and told us her mind link to her pack family on the mountain ceased to

work and I know that means the fog has possibly reached them too. The mountain has no

protection against this, not in the way we do with the rune border, and I can only assume all are lost

to this spell and engulfing their own mountain like ravenous zombies seeking something to devour.

This is the vampire's new weapon, and we never saw it coming at all; we weren't ready. Much like we

never saw the frequency box coming and suffered such awful consequences of its first use against

us. The fog is a much more efficient tool than the frequency ever was though. It's turning our own

people into their soldiers and doing their bidding for them. Turning on their kind, probably out

there savagely mauling one another and I don't doubt the mountain and beyond without magical

protection has suffered more losses of our people if any had escaped the initial enchantment. I

doubt many could get away from it though, so in a way, I guess being turned is safer than being out

there unprotected. I can only hope that if they did escape the smog, that somehow, they have

managed to find a shelter that our own kind can't penetrate to get at them

I don't know if it can get inside the homes and the buildings as we have a distinct advantage living

behind a barrier and no wish to test it. I wonder how many wolves beyond our lands have been

affected, beyond Santos, or if the reach of the fog can only go so far seeing as it's so much thinner

now. I guess it has to elongate and spread until it's not got anymore to distribute. I wonder if in its

diluted state it may be less effective and less likely to affect us as quickly if we went out there.

I also wonder if maybe Meadow was right and the fog has to stay for the enchantment to work; that

should it disperse for long enough would it somehow break the spell? It's something that has

plagued me all afternoon as I saw it clear up enough for us to see through the trees and it lit a tiny

candle of hope deep down in my heart.

How long would that take? Days? Weeks? Months? I can't live like this without him for even hours,

so I don't think I want to wait it out to see if this will just fade off and release them by itself. It's only

been one full day and my heart is bleeding with the absence of his touch, his laugh, his eternal

warmth and attentive nature. I'm craving him like a drug that will kill me the longer I am without.

The people are low, their hearts are heavy and the loss of our alpha hangs over all of us like a dark

cloud.

My bed is cold and empty, uninviting, so I've not even tried to get in it since coming here to rest.

The house and the surrounding grounds are almost silent, and you can feel the loss of our pack in

every atom around us. The males and femmes out there are missed by every single house in the

village, while we mourn for our loved ones and can't escape the weight of grief it's brought down

upon us. There's no joy, there's no childish laughter or happy squeals in the air. All day it was as

though Tawna was not the only wolf we need to lay to rest.

I checked on carmen through the day, but she was asleep and looked painfully peaceful in her

vulnerable state. The doctor kept her medicated out of kindness, but I have asked to speak to her

before we leave tomorrow. She needs to know what's going on and not get secondhand

information from others after I leave. It's the least I can do, because if it were me, my own guilt and

self-blame would eat me up knowing it was my mother that caused this. If it was me, I would

emotionally take responsibility for all of it and I can only assume Carmen will too. She brought her

here to keep her safe and yet gave her a means to end her life. I know how I would take this blow

and I don't think Carmen is as different to me as I first thought.

Her mother was bait. The vampires saw an opportunity to lure as many of us as they could, further

than we have ever ventured. It's why the kill was new. They waited and dragged her as far as they

could until we started to get too close. Then they killed her in a frenzy and spread her body because

they knew we wouldn't leave her there. Wolves are respectful of the dead and our need to bury our

own with ceremony meant we wouldn't turn back. They made it so we couldn't just pick her up and

leave, because they needed time. To keep us out there and distracted while they put their spell in

motion.

They had to know a wolf was about to run into the forests in an attempt of suicide, and they made

full use of it. They must have been brewing their spell and waiting, getting ready, for a time when

enough of us were out beyond our borders and away from our magical wall. Vampires possess

some who can see things like seers do, and they have witches whom I know get visions, so I wonder

if one of them had a dream that Tawna would run out and look for them to do what she couldn't for

herself. Kill her to end her misery and her mate's life.

I think they know we have protection, I mean, with a witch among them she has to know she can’t

get near the homestead in any kind of way. I don't think we were the main target; I think we were

one of many and just happened to give them a reason to do it now and an opportunity to add our

numbers to the casualties. It's rare for so many of us to be out there unprotected and if it wasn't for

Tawna, then we wouldn't have gone out at all. I don’t want to lay blame at her feet, I don’t want to

be callous but that pit of anger and despair in my heart cannot help but think of her, and what her

actions have done. She left us with chaos that goes beyond the trauma she inflicted upon her child.

Meadow and I will leave at first light, taking the main road out and hope to god the pack out there

don't follow. My powers can buy us time and keep them far enough from the jeep but if they follow

us all the way to New Mexico I have no idea how we will keep them off. Sierra figures she can

protect our vehicle from the fog somehow and spent hours in the spell rooms looking for anything

that might help us stay safe on our trip.

Meadows a warrior, one of the best, and I am capable of so much, but neither of us want to fight

our own family. Our own mates. So anything that shields us and stops us from having to physically

interact is a must. We love them, all of them, and our sub pack are among those who have been

enchanted. We wouldn't want to battle any of them even if it came down to it, even if our lives

depended on it. I couldn“t force myself to hurt a hair on a single wolf's head who is lost out there.

The plan is to drive fast and have me keep them back, keep them as far as I can, in the hopes they

turn back and focus on circling the homestead once again while we drive off into the dust and head

for the witch known as Leyanne. We need to get some distance and avoid all known wolf territory in

case they too have been turned. We don't have any idea of how far this goes or how many are

infected. This area is predominantly Santo but there are smaller packs out there especially in the

wilds, and once we leave Arizona, we will have to figure it out as we go. Packs generally don’t

intermingle and there's no love between different packs in our species. We are born territorial and

get aggressive in defense of our spaces. I don't expect warm greetings and offers of hospitality if we

do find they are untouched by the spell.

We had sentinels pack the jeep with food and supplies to last a few days, even sleeping bags, and

we aim to head for human territory by nightfall every day we are out there. The vampires aren't

really attacking anywhere the humans are in dense population; staying hidden for their own safety,

and keeping this battle in the shadows between non mortals. Vampires and wolves still fear the

wrath of humans. They may be the vulnerable ones, but humans are capable of horrible things when

they shine a light on the dark secrets of our kinds. They outnumber us tenfold and have their ways

of taking down our kinds. Surprisingly, for a species who are physically weaker and lack gifts like

ours.

We lost many of all kinds in past centuries at their capable hands. Humans killing all who were

different and forcing us into hiding. They still outnumber us in population, taking over most of the

globe and have an uncanny ability to unite when faced with the supernatural. Their advances with

weapons most definitely slow us down. Their ability to weaponize and accumulate large numbers

and crash through our species with their steel vehicles and drop bombs galore, putting aside racial

differences when the will to have their species prevail runs strong

Our kinds have hidden for millennia, more so since numbers dwindled after the great vamp wars. It

just always has been known that nonhumans should conceal and stay away, for the survival of all.

We will never out populate them, because we don't reproduce in numbers the way they can, and

with all our inner species wars going on, we can never focus any kind of energy at subduing the

humans. We have too many enemies within ourselves to ever unite for that one cause. History has

always failed to keep them down and make it acceptable for our kind to walk free.

I'm distracted by a gentle knock on my bedroom door and I tune in, coming back to reality and that

familiar pang of heartache; my body slumped because my life feels like it's ebbing away tonight. I

sense Meadow outside my door and taste her own deep and uncontrollable sadness even from this

distance.

I'm up, come in. I link her and she doesn't hesitate to push the heavy oak door in quickly. She looks

exhausted, dark circle sunder her dull eyes and I can tell that much like me, she has no thoughts of

sleep tonight. Anxiety reigning supreme, thrashing around in her heart and brain, and pining for the

mate out there in the dark who is currently wandering around angrily trying to find a way in.

“You look tired, Chica, you should sleep. First light we got to get out of here and head for New

Mexico. It's going to be chaos getting through that fog.” Her soft tone wreaks of fatigue, her loose

posture shows no hint of the strong femme I am used to seeing every day of my life.

"What about you? You're the one driving... you should be resting more than me.” I point out as she

wanders beside me to my open balcony door, the gentle breeze cooling my skin, and stares down

at the view that has held my attention for the last half hour. A faraway look taking over her

expression and she sighs heavily.

“I can't even feel him... it's like he's just gone. Like they all are. One blink and poof.... We just lost

them.” She utters sadly with so much pain in her voice that it makes my throat constrict and I choke

on a subtle sob. I know exactly what she means and have been fighting myself not to let the tears

come at me. I know once they do, I may not be able to stop them again

“We have to just focus on a solution, and deal with the loss we feel. It will only hinder us, and we

can't just give in.” I point out and slide my arm through hers, pulling her close to my body and lay

my head on her shoulder. Needing touch, even hers so that I can pull strength from somewhere,

and she nestles against me mirroring my feelings.

“How did they know.... How were they so ready? It's like they waited for an opportunity and we

handed it right to them.”

"Seers probably” I sigh and am hit with a deep painful strike in my chest as the thought of Colton's

most recent dream comes at me from the recess of his mind, and I shudder. A prickle of intense

unease and nerves rippling through my body and leaving me cold.

He had stood out there clawed up and devoid of any emotion staring right at me. Blank, just like he

said that morning. Much like his dream he was disconnected and didn't seem to know me and yes, I

was so very afraid of him out there faced with him like that. I wonder if it really was something to

come or more of a symbolization of that moment because most of it still makes no sense. I wouldn't

let him strike me down like that, I have abilities that even Colton can't match, and I surely would

change to heal myself. I push it out of my head and try not to ponder.

"Maybe they saw it coming long before Tawna even came here and got ready for the moment it did.

Or maybe it was luck, and they intended to use the spell and it was just a fluke that we gave them

the chance to make it count when we did.” I don't really know, but speculating isn't really changing

anything.

“None of this is working you know. Fighting them, protecting ourselves, holding them off. They just

find new ways and even when we win wars, they always come back. There's never a resolution to

any of it.” Meadows words deflate me, and I know she’s right. The vampires and the wolves and this

bloody never-ending hatred of one another, it never ends and the wars, even after a decade, always

rise again. It never solves anything; it just takes many of our numbers and then what. It only breeds

more hatred, and the cycle keeps going. I can't see that it will ever stop because no side will ever be

satisfied until the other is destroyed. Vengeance is a toxic need.

“As long as either side holds a grudge, it won't end” I exhale heavily and rub my temple with my

free hand as a headache begins to ache inside. None of this feels real, much like a daymare and yet I

can't waken myself up from it at all.

“Then why haven't the fates done anything? I mean you, you're right here, and wasn't that the whole

point of the prophecy? To unite us, to end the wars, but it's been months and yet we still fight and

there's no signs about what you are meant to do to be any kind of war-ender. It just feels like none

of it was true.” Her words silence me and I'm ashamed to admit that this is a thought that hasn't

crossed my mind in months. So wrapped up in my new life, by Colton’s side, that I never stopped to

think about what that prophecy implied I was meant to be. She's right though. They said I would

redress the balance and bring peace, but I have no idea how. Looking at this situation, I am not

qualified to even begin to know how to put this to rights.

I need a manual on what to do to make that come about, but the fates are great at giving you

nothing, and twisty turning endless roads to walk first. What with this recent turn of events, the

vampires are not high on my list of possible friends and certainly not about to sit down and figure

out a peace treaty with them. They just took my mate, my family, and my pack away from me, and

turned them into mindless angry killers looking to end their own.

"The fates, if you haven't noticed, are inherently vague and slow to do any kind of anything. I mean I

was eighteen years old before they did a single thing about me and my gifts. Maybe it will be

another eighteen before I get some sort of sign as to how to end our wars.” I bite it out harshly, a

glimmer of resentment surfacing even though I know I should not doubt the higher powers

We both sigh and she grips my arm tighter, her breathing shallowing and I look up to see what has

her gasping. I spot them too. The dark figures of a combined pack of some fifty or more wolves

moving through the fog as one fluid unit. Heading away, towards the mountain and it's obvious

even from here that the most familiar figures our mates and our sub pack are leading the way. Still

leaders even under a spell. It's a sight that crushes me.

We both stand stock still, held breaths, as we watch them disappear into the fog and my heart sinks

as I lose sight of him. A fire emerging in my stomach and burning in my chest as rage builds from

heartbreak.

"Screw the fates. Screw vampires... We won't take this lying down. We WILL get our pack back, our

men. What's the point of being some kind of hybrid with gifts if I stay in here crying over this. You're

right. I AM something special and maybe us pursuing this witch and doing what we need to do will

change something... if not, at the very least, we get our mates back. We make her help us and we

prioritize our pack above all.” There's a tinge of anger in my voice and I stand up rigidly, letting that

despair turn to icy determination, that pain turn into stubborn decision, much like so many months

ago when I left to go run free alone in the mountains and forests to find my own path. Wasn't that

when the fates started to give me nudges of help. When I let my decision and instinct take over and

went looking for myself for some kind of solution to my predicament.

“Chica, if anyone can get us through this, then it's you. My Luna.... You have yet to shine and your

time is coming.” Meadow's soothing words calm my fire a little and I smile warmly, gently, her way. I

cuddle into her one more time and lay my head back down on her shoulder which is level with

mine, adoring my best friend and not knowing how I would have coped had she been out there too.

It doesn't bear thinking about.

“You know, I used to think I was better alone. Stronger. I see that I was wrong and it's not about

doing things alone. It's about relying on others, being strong together. Heroes in stories they never

do it alone, they always have friends... family... Sisters, a sidekick. I think WE can get through this,

together! If I'm going to shine, it won't be because I'm doing it all by myself.” There's some comfort

in knowing this time, no matter what, I'm not alone.

“Damn right. Isn't that what packs, family, best friends are supposed to be there for. You know I got

your back, Hemara, always. We will do this together.”

"First we both have to rest and as I'm not good at sleeping alone since Colton marked me, maybe

you could stay here tonight. I'm sure you haven't slept alone since Cesar and you mated up, right?” I

point out, knowing that all day I have been dreading tonight and the loneliness of the lack of his

presence, it's why I have been standing here staring at the night instead of braving that big bed,

and the tears fill Meadow's eyes.

“Not a second apart since I fell head over heels for that asshole. He drives me crazy; you know.

When we fight, damn do we fight. It's not pretty, but I would die without him. Literally, given, you

know... marking and all.” Meadow laughs lightly through her weary teras and I smile at her humor

and her attempt to make light of this. This is one of the reasons I love her so much. “He's the best

thing that ever happened to me. I love him so damn much; it wasn't just imprinting... I always had

such a crush on him, even before I turned. He's my stability, my rock, my safe place. Cesar is my

Papi, and my heart doesn’t beat when he’s not here.” Cesar is all of those things to the pack too.

Always mature, parental, solid, and unwavering, and I could see how the fiery Latinos could be

insane when they clashed. Meadow's temper and Cesar’s aggression, which he has shown on the

battlefield many times. I bet they clash like thunder and lightning, sparking the air around them and

self-combusting with the boom. Probably in the same way they meet in passion and why they still

act like hazed lovers after years of being mates. What they have is rare.

“Colton is my everything too. There's no life without him. We can't fail.” We both fall silent once

more, both sharing the bittersweet pain and lost in the same agony of reality, pining yet unable to

do anything about it.

The fog is still out there, hanging like an unwanted smell around our land, cloying and clinging to

everything we can see, and I let out a breath in exasperation.

"How did the spell work on the truck go with Sierra?” I left them to it this evening while consoling

many people in the town hall when I brought them up to speed on what was happening. Never in

my life had I been more crushed with the weight of responsibility than in that moment when I

realized without Colton here, all hopes, and eyes, were pinned on me to lead.

As Luna I become alpha in his absence and it hit me fully when standing up on that podium and

trying to reassure them, that we have a plan and we are going to get through this. I had to be

stronger than I felt. I had to be Colton — emotionally calm, stable, sure in my wording, and remain

confident in whatever I was saying, even though it was a million miles away from what I was actually

feeling. The pressure bearing down on me of expectant eyes and expectations that I would be able

to stand up and do it without him.

It terrified me. The what ifs. The glimpse of a future I might have to bear if we can't break this spell

and the packs entire needs and direction were laid on my head. I don't know if I have it in me to be

what he is, I dont know if I can lead these people long term, yet I have no choice. I am what they

have and now I understand fully why Colton always doubted and second guessed himself so

brutally all his life. Why he always felt he wasn't enough, and I realize I've stood behind his shadow

and been under just as much protection as they have all this time. I was a Luna sure, but I never had

to really command while he always protected me.

I know why he feels like he isn’t doing enough, when all I felt standing there was the same damn

thing. I felt inferior and like a failure.

“The sun is almost down; we should go to bed. Try and sleep. We have an early rise and a long drive

if we get out of this place in one piece.” Med's cuts into my thoughts and brings me back form the

dark recesses of my mind that was starting to bring back that weight of despair. I need to not let

myself ponder.

“You're right. We should try.” Even if I already know it won't happen, maybe I can give Meadow the

sense of companionship that she may sleep. She needs it more than me if she intends to drive us

seven hours across country without stopping.

I follow her when she moves and she stops at the bed and stares at it for a long moment, somehow

lost in thought or memory and a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Meds?" I walk to her, but she shakes her head and inhales heavily.

"He asked me if I still loved him as crazily as when we first imprinted last night. Lying in bed, in his

arms. It's like he knew something was wrong and stupidly thought it was that. He said he felt like

things were off, not with us, but in general and he had a sense of foreboding that was suffocating

him. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind for Cesar, is us.... if we fell apart, so would he. So

he asked me, and I...... I told him he was stupid, and to stop talking loco. I could have just told him

yes, and that I love him, more than ever, but I didn't. I was sassy, I gave him attitude, because he

woke me up and I was snappy, because I'm hormonal as hell, a moody bitch, what with the blood

moon coming and now....what I wouldn't give to have him laid in bed and asking me that stupid

question all over again.” Meadow breaks, her voice cracking, her body heaving and the tears start to

fall at speed while I instinctively go to her, pulling her into my embrace protectively. Pain eating me

up inside for my own feelings as well as taking on some of hers.

"He knows you love him. Cesar is one of the most loyal, happiest wolves in the pack. He can never

keep his hands off you, Meds. Don't think this way, it's only hurting you,” I try to console her, but

she shakes her head, acting like a lost child and suddenly so young and fragile in my arms.

“I give him such a hard time. I'm always giving him attitude. I should be sweet talking my man, and

sexing him up anytime he cuddles up, right. I don't. 'm moody and harsh and I push him around

because he lets me. I'm jealous, and possessive, and bossy as hell. He's the best thing in my life and

I take him for granted and make life harder for him.”

“Meds, this is guilt talking, and despair. Cesar knows you love him. Your relationship is normal and

healthy. You do give him love and affection. I've seen it on multiple occasions, and damn girl, that

jealous streak when a chola, as you call them, makes eyes his way. I think he more than knows that

you need him, to survive. Cesar doesn't stop how you are because he likes it.” She's crazy not to

know this. Cesar worships the ground she walks on; he literally lights up when she strolls in the

room and he never rejects her touch or her affections. He's quiet, less vocal about his love, but it's

so obvious to everyone that she is his Queen. He patrols by her side, sticks to her like glue, and

beams proudly when she handles things herself and shows how tough she can be.

"We weren't talking... this morning, when we went out. We weren't together because I was sulking

that he woke me with such a stupid question. Such a stupid fight. And we searched separately, two

different packs, because we are both stubborn assholes when we bicker, and we gave each other a

wide berth. The last I seen of him was him glaring my way as we split to go off into the woods.

That's it.... a glare, a standoff, and then he was just gone.” Her whimper turns into full blown snotty

sobbing, heaving as she tries to breathe through her emotional hysteria and my resolve crumbles.

"Oh god, Meadow.” I squeeze her half to death, willing my hug to give her some sort of comfort. No

wonder this is messing her up. I can’t imagine if Colton and I had fought before the fog moved in,

how much worse this would feel. Being apart, having him mad at me before we lost them. It explains

why she was so quiet and introverted when it first happened and why now she’s so emotional.

"Well, when we break this stupid curse, you can make it up to him. Stop thinking that this is it,

because it's not. We have a plan. We are going to keep doing until we fix this. You think I'm going to

let my mate stroll out there in the woods and leave us to run things, pick up what he abandoned,

and allow him to live a life of leisure out there. Hell no. He needs to get back here and take the

wheel once more, and Cesar needs to come pick up his woman and shake some sense into her

about how much he adores her.” It's half stern statement and have jest in a bid to lighten her mood

and to stop myself tumbling with her.

"Yeah, right... Shower him with love and then smack him in the face for putting me through all this

and stupidly getting himself caught in this fog. Does he have any idea what an idiot that makes

him?" Her sass pushes through the tears, the outrage that he abandoned her, and I giggle at her

turn in mood. She's still quietly sniffling but the lightness of her words has me squeezing her tight

as Med's composes herself at an impressive speed and shows me that tough lady, I met so many

months ago.

“Tell me about it. I owe Colton a strangling for this one.” I smile but it doesn’t reach my heart.

Talking this way is helping though, like its temporary and just a blip we are going to fix. That it's not

serious and they are out there intentionally giving us a hard time like naughty boys looking for

attention.

Meadow seems to find strength from somewhere and straightens up, pushing her shoulders back,

lifting her chin and wipes her face clear of the mess of tears.

“Right, this time I mean it. Bed, Chica. You have looked exhausted for days and this can’t be helping.

Come on, we can cuddle as long as you know it's not going to second base. I don't do girls.”

Meadow smirks wiping her face for a second time to fully dry it and I throw out my hands in mock

exasperation.

“Ughh, I only agreed to bed share because I thought I was getting something out of it.” I wink

cheekily, throw my ahir over my shoulder as though I'm sulking and then beam at her with a smile I

hope reaches my eyes. We both smile at each other, warmly, and I pull off my clothes and head to

my closet to find my nightshirt. Normally I'm all about the sexy negligees for Colton’s benefit, but

tonight I want to sleep in one of his t-shirts. I need him around me in some kind of way. I need his

smell, his presence, his aura. To give me strength to get through this trip and something to hold

onto to keep me sane.

Meadow is already in casual wear; she pulls off her hoodie that I only now realize is Cesar's because

his scent is subtly lingering around it. I hadnt even noticed her complete change of style until she

pulled it off to reveal a shirt I've seen him wear, over baggy grey sweats that are too big for her.

She's more of a flaunt what you've got girl, so I guess much like me she is using his clothes in place

of her mate.

We climb into bed and I clap my hands to kill the lights. Something Colton insisted on in our room

given how reluctant he is to ever get back out of bed when we get into it.

“This witch better have some answers, I swear.” Meadow snuggles down into the duvet on Colton's

side of the bed and curls closer to me, catching my hands as I lay beside her to turn on my side, so

we are face to face mirroring positions. It feels weird to be like this with her, somehow intimate, and

in a bed that most definitely has seen some embarrassing scenes between my mate and I. I try not

to think of it.

“The fates are sending us to her, given my previous experience with their hints.... I think it's our best

chance at breaking this spell. They never steered me wrong before.” Despite cursing the fates out

earlier I still believe they will put me on the right path. I pray so anyway.

“I hope Sierra is right, and she’s wolf friendly, else we might end up in a worse state than our boys.”

Her hushed tone injects a hint of seriousness sin the air between us and I shiver a little.

“Yeah, as long as it's quick and painless, I don't think we will care.” I giggle to lighten the mood,

ignoring the real chance that this may not go well and refusing to ponder on it, and Meadow sighs

heavily.

“I've been thinking this afternoon. We should take Carmen; she might be useful, and she can drive.

She's going to be useless here and just a weight to Sierra's load while we're gone. With us it might

take her mind off of this and give her something to do. I know I never liked her, but the girl is a

fighter, and her skills made her a good fit for our pack in the past. She can hold her own in a battle

and we don't know what we are driving out into tomorrow.” Meadows gaze locks on mine, that

shrewd mind seeing a plan that she thinks will give us our best chance. I stay silent for a long while,

thinking it over and weighing it up before nodding slowly. Seeing the why in her suggestion and

respecting that Colton always values Meadow's input in all things like this.

“Yeah, I think you're right. There's going to be a part of her that tries to take on the responsibility of

this, because it was her mom. Maybe helping will listen that weight and focus her on something else

while it's still so raw.” I know Carmen has skills and before there was a ME in her pack, she was seen

as capable and tough.

“You're amazing you know that? I don't think I could show the same kind of compassion and care to

Cesar’'s ex, almost mate. You really are a born Luna. You and Colton, you're a perfect fit.” My face

warms at her words and I intertwine my fingers in hers. My heart throbbing with so many conflicting

emotions but right now, my focus is on taking one step at a time.

“I don't really have a choice. We are all in this together, bound by blood and bonds. She's one of us.

The pack needs all of us top survive. Even her.”

oooo