Chapter 79: Chapter 80: The Journey begins

I exhale and almost cry with relief and turn to pull my hands from Carmen, who no longer has

reason to hold me back.

"Are you coming?” I ask her warily, legs shaking from adrenalin, and weakening with relief as she

nods, gesturing back to a hold all on the steps she must have zoomed together before hyper

speeding down here. She goes and retrieves it, and we head for the passenger door of the truck, her

climbing in first with me last to sit on the double seat side by side.

“Glad you could make it.” Meadow smirks knowing full well she almost gave me a heart attack

minutes ago. No remorse whatsoever in her tone or her amused expression.

“Sometimes I really don't like you!" I point out, hand over my chest to calm my heartrate, glaring at

her scornfully and she laughs

"Ahhh but hamera, you love me more than life.”

"So where are we going?” Carmen cuts in, impatient already and I can feel the anxiety swarming

from her in getting to go already. There's a smog of impatient in her manner and a restlessness that

seems a little unnatural. I can’t imagine what she feels today but it's coming across in subtle hostile

tension.

“New Mexico, Chica. Sierra is going to call us when we are almost there to pinpoint where exactly.

Right now, we have a rough town to aim for, but Sierra is going to keep using a locator spell to get

us right to her when we arrive.” Meadow pulls out her cell and shakes it for Carmen to somehow

prove that Sierra knows how to use such things before sliding it back into her pocket.

We packed our bags last night and stowed them in the truck, so we really have nothing to wait

around for. Sun is coming up; the homestead will start to wake soon, and we need to move before

that happens. Least amount of hold ups and we can focus on what's to come.

I told Sierra not to see us off, or else I wouldn't go. I'm worried about her being alone to cope as

Luna in my absence, no support, not even the subpack here to help and advise her and I know that

seeing her looking so lost would have swayed me. I'm hoping it's an uneventful two or three days

for her, or however long we are gone and that the fog sitting around the perimeter keeps the pack

in their homes and out of her hair. There's nothing else for them to do until we know more and

whether we can do something. It's a waiting game where they have all been told to stay home, stay

calm and let us do what we have to do.

They have enough fresh supplies for the month, and we still have our animals, our dried stores and

ability to produce some of our vegetables in the homestead greenhouses we set up months ago.

We can stay put, stay safe without needing to leave the grounds for four weeks, providing nothing

else happens. It's the best thing for them all to do.

I'm startled back out of my thoughts by the truck starting up again and I spot Tom getting out of

the way, his accompanying two wolves who are going on perimeter patrol this morning showing up

beside him and I can see the question in their eyes as they spot who is in here. I hold my breath,

paused in alarm because I know that the mind link gossip will start doing the rounds sooner than

later.

Meadow is the military leader after Colton, I'm Luna, and here we are abandoning them right after

their Alpha fell to a spell. I know it looks bad, and they will panic, but they have to trust I'm leaving

to try and fix this.

"Good luck"! Tom pack links us, and I catch the side eyed suspicious looks he gets from his mates,

but they say nothing, just watch us turn out of the gravel drive and head towards the opening and

out into the fog.

I can almost taste their fear and anticipation as they realize we don't intend to stop where clean air

meets emerald mist, but as soon as we cross the boundary, I lift my hands in readiness to push the

fog away should I need too, and we lose all contact with those inside.

Like an invisible barrier it cuts off Tom's mind link and that of the rest of my pack. For the first time

in 6 months all those subtle feelings and vibrations I am so accustomed to, the emotions of my

people that follow me every day, they all fall silent like I just stepped into a soundproofed chamber

and it's intense, feelings of being swept over by a veil of cold. All that's left is the tension and silent

apprehension of Meadow and Carmen, suddenly intensified as they no longer compete with all the

other feelings around me, and I blink back out of the rear window on the back door as the fog

surrounds us and envelopes us out of sight of the homestead. A sense of loss, heightened worry

and a sadness that I'm leaving them.

“Well, this was something I didn't think of.” Meadow cuts into my thoughts sharply, and pulls me

back to face the front window, glancing to her furrowed scowl and her newly aggravated mood.

"What?" I frown at her and look out when she nods ahead at the misty view feet in front of us and I

click right away at what she’s hinting. We can’t see a damn thing, not even the road. Despite the fog

near the boundary seeming thinner and almost transparent in places, it seems coupled with

morning mist from the mountains, damp air and dull light, it's killing vision beyond four feet.

"God dammit Carmen. Don't fucking do that. Last thing I need is to feel guilty over the likes of you. I

never saw an ounce of humanity in the two years you were in our pack, and now I don't even....

People don't change that dramatically.” Meadow can't help the venom in her tone and despite me

having more reason to not like this girl, Meadow has still never let go of her grudge about Carmen's

misdemeanors of the past. Maybe because they have a two-year history and a lot more than I ever

did with her, maybe that's why. I just don't get why she asked for her to come if this was how she

intended to be with her.

“What would you know?” Carmen mumbles it to the window and more to herself than Meadow, her

mood spiking into many conflicted feelings that I can't read, and I honestly don’t know how to

mediate. I love Meds to death and well, Carmen, she’s not my favorite person, but I do feel this isn't

the time nor place.

"What did you say?” Meadow is obviously looking for a fight and I get it. She's in pain, this is how

she is. Her outlet when she needs to vent is to be fierce and Cesar is usually the one to handle her

like this. Her pain comes out in aggression, loud sassy attitude, hot fiery passion, or sheer fury, and

she has only us two to take it out on. She would never do it to me, not because I'm her Luna, but

because she protects and loves me like she’s my mother and I never get her rage. Cesar can handle

it; he draws it to him on purpose when she gets this way so he can take her back down to a normal

level.

“I said.... What. Would. You. Know!” Carmen bites it back at her boldly, annunciating every word

cattily, turning with a tight expression, eyes ambering out in anger. This time turning fully hostile

and the heat and sparks begin to rise between them like high voltage energy, crackling as Carmen's

own temper bites

“Stop it." I snap at both of them and raise my hands to wipe my face in frustration “You two better

not be like this for this entire trip.” My patience snaps, my attempts at hopeful and upbeat are

stomped out and instead heavy fatigue grips me as my head starts to ache. I cant deal with this

shit.

“I'm sorry.” Meadow grinds her teeth, glancing to me with apology and a hint of defeat on her

pretty face and goes back to the road, something coming to her realization suddenly as she widens

her eyes and quickly turns left to right with a quick head move. “They've stopped” she points out

and instinctively I turn and look out the back window, seeing nothing but the distant still shadows

of figures in the fog, unmoving, and letting us leave with no more interaction. Carmen turns too.

"Why did they stop so easily?”

“Maybe they can't go any further..... look” Meadow points ahead pulling our attention back to the

windscreen and we can see where the fog thins out enough that its’ barely there, finally an end in

sight to this depressing smoke. It's definitely thinning to almost nonexistence and I wonder if maybe

the spell really does weaken when they leave it for any length of time.

“You don't think...” I trail off not sure how to word it, but Meadow cuts in.

“Maybe, I mean it's a possible back up plan right.... kidnapping them one at a time and keeping

them out of the fog out here to see.... If all else fails.” She shrugs, a look of possibility glinting in her

eye.

I blink at her, my gut churning over, gazing back one more time at the distant figures and sigh

heavily, expelling some heaviness now we know we are running free.

“It can't be that simple. There has to be another reason they arent following us.”

"We are three.... the homestead is dozens, maybe they just want to stay where they have more to

kill,” Carmen chimes in bluntly, as gracious as ever, and I shudder at the thought. Maybe she’s right,

even if she said it without tact or any obvious emotion. What is three lone wolves when they have

an entire homestead of hundreds left behind. If blood and destruction is what they're after, then we

are too much effort to chase when they can't get into our steel box.

The thought makes me sick and as we hightail it onto the main route and relatively clear air with no

more impaired vision and the sun warms us as it starts to reach higher in the sky. If we were not on

such a depressing mission, it would be the start of a beautiful and unusually warm day. I start to rub

my temples, overwhelmed with utter sadness and despair at what we are even having to do and

force Colton out of my mind once again. The constant craving for him never seems to subside and

now we're leaving them behind, I experience a new sense of longing and a subtle panic that we will

be far apart.

"Don't think about it. Just focus on what we have to do. It's a long drive and we have to stick to

human routes to keep contact with other packs to a minimum. If we plough on, we can get there

before dark, as long as we keep stops to fuel only.” Meadow pats me on the shoulder and pushes

my hair off my face in that gentle mom type way she has. “Sleep while you can, you look exhausted.

We need our Luna to be fit and well and I don't need you right now. You too, Carmen, you can take

over driving when I need a break.” Meadow is in bossy mode once more, bickering forgotten,

commanding like she does the sub pack and the sentinels and I nod, knowing there's not much else

to do but stare at passing scenery while these two bicker and glare the journey away.

Carmen doesn't argue but gets up and moves to the back and climbs onto one of the stabilized

beds, turning away from us and pulling the blanket in front of her face. I could sense her tiredness

when I collected her earlier, I guess sedation and grief are not a great combo and I'm sort of glad

she’s chosen to go lay down. I stop as I lift form my seat and lean down to Meadow, linking only her

with a gentle tone.

“Go easy on her, I get the feeling things have happened in the past months and she doesn't seem

the same. Remember what's just happened to her.” I squeeze Meds shoulder lightly and smile as her

eyes dart to mine for a second.

“It's hard to let go of old grudges when she looks and seems exactly the same. Her mom died, yet

she seems fine. She's so much more stable than I expected her to be.” Meadow bites bitterly, as

though she is somehow disappointed in Carmen for not breaking down, but I frown at her and

shake my head.

“Everyone grieves in their own way. I think she’s in shock and it hasn't sunk in that she's really gone.

Med's please, treat her the way you would treat any other wolf in the pack. Forget who she used to

be. Her heart is broken, I can feel it.”

“Is that a command, Luna?” Meadow eyes me up with a hint of attitude, knowing I usually never tell

her what to do in terms of how she handles things and I throw her an exasperated look.

In all the months I have been such I have never commanded Meadow to do anything. She's my best

friend. It's a line I don't like crossing, even if I do have a right to do it. She was there for me when I

was no one, and I don't like to lord over her in anyway when she mothers me effectively.

“It's a gentle request, for me.” I point out with a smile and lean in to kiss her on the temple,

smoothing back her hair in a bod to show her my deepest love and respect and that I don't want

bad blood between us, and pause before I head to the back.

"Are you sure you don't want me to sit with you for now. Company?” I hesitate and go as if to sit

again, but meadow shakes her head

“I need thinking time. Seeing him, hitting him with the truck...my head's a mess. I want some space

to process shit.” She furrows her brow over a saddened gaze and taps the wheel distractedly,

shaking free some of the surging sadness that seems to climb up over her.

“It's not him.... None of them are themselves right now. Don't dwell. Stay focused and remember,

none of them have any control of what's happening.” I rub her shoulder again and take the hint to

move, leaving her sitting in the driver seat while I go to the back and climb onto the other made-up

bed.

Carmen is quiet but I can tell by her breathing she’s wide awake and staring at the truck wall. Her

back to me, her posture stiff and unrelaxed despite laying down, and I feel for her.

"Are you okay?” I ask her as I settle myself on top of the blankets of this bed and lay down, relived

that these are pretty comfortable despite being medical trolleys.

“No. But does it matter?.... Life goes on. The world keeps turning. People die.... It's the living that

matter.” her response is low, shocking to me and almost bitter though she doesn't turn to look at

me at all.

“If you need to talk...” I start to try for compassion, the will of my Luna side taking hold to try and

ease a pack member.

“I don't. I need to sleep.” it's a snapped final statement and she reinforces it by pulling the blanket

over her head to shut me out and make it clear I need to leave her alone. Waves of iciness thrown

my way and I take the hint, slightly irritated by her brisk manner and can only exhale to calm my

own turmoil.

"Okay then. Goodnight, I guess.” I try not to let her get to me but this whole situation is weird. In

here, I'm no Luna when it comes to these two head butting stubborn femmes, and it feels like we

are just three girls with old wounds on a road trip to try and make sense of everything that has ever

come to us.

If only that were true.

oo