He should've shot her when he had the chance.
So, why didn't he? It's a question he continues to ask himself over and over again, Zero came up with one answer: he wants to know about Yukashi.
The man doesn't always tell him everything, it makes Zero feel as if Yukashi only tells him things little by little until he is sure Zero won't run away. Zero doesn't blame Yukashi except it doesn't mean Zero appreciates being lied to or being kept something important.
But did he need to know? Is there anything dreadful or important Zero needs to know? Maybe not. Strange enough, he feels like everything he wants to learn about Yukashi, he'd know as they take their time getting to know each other. There is no need to rush something that's already at the brink of falling apart.
Yukashi connected to Kaname is one thing, having a son? His teenage mind is still a little dazed by it yet doesn't discard it entirely. He doesn't hate kids but he isn't entirely comfortable around them, he could barely have the patience for the fangirls of the Night Class. Maybe little by little, Zero can get used to this if it actually becomes something.
After seeing Sara Shirabuki, his thoughts and feelings are muddledânot entirely sorted out. All Zero wants to do is sleep with Yukashi in his arms and pretend he's in his own little world.
A knock against his door pulls him out of his thoughts recalling Yukashi is supposed to be here; jumping off his bed he hurries to the door to greet the blonde hair Pureblood. Before Zero can muster to say a word, the expression on Yukashi's face makes him fall silent. The shorter vampire has a stoic expression; not only is his facial features difficult to read, but his blue eyes are also as detached as his demeanor. Zero's heart jumps to his throat suddenly filled with a sense of alarm, brain producing millions of thoughts at once until Zero gestures Yukashi inside with a shaky hand.
Something is off...
Nothing is said between them, Zero is too busy reeling on what could have the Pureblood acting the way he is now. The vampire hunter can't tell what is running through Yukashi's mind and it feels as though he is being blocked off somehow. It's a peculiar sensation serving to make him restless.
In a way, his behavior reminds him of a certain Pureblood that still makes his blood boil.
Yukashi is sitting on Zero's bed staring ahead while Zero takes a seat beside him, frowning. The silence is suffocating the silver hair vampire, shifting around and runs his fingers over his earlobe due to the absent earing now being worn by Yukashi. Zero is not going to get used to not having it for some time.
Another few minutes passed once Yukashi finally speaks, "I've made a lot of choices in my lifeâit doesn't appear to be a good one but it's the best I can make. Despite wanting to show you the best of me, there is also the worst of me you will learn eventually no matter how much I try to deny it."
Furrowing his eyebrows, Zero allows Yukashi to continue who hasn't stopped staring at the wall opposite of them. "You must understand every action I have to make is never an easy one. My intentions are not to hurt anyone, only to make the best possible decision in the worst possible situation... and that's what I did with your parents."
"What?" His voice is breathless as if the air in his lungs left along with Yukashi's words. What does he mean?
The question doesn't leave his lips, a part of him afraid to listen to the answer. Except he doesn't need to ask, Yukashi finally turning his head to look Zero in the eye, expressing profound misery. "One day you saw Shizuka Hio, a few days later she killed your parents, turned you into a vampire, and took your twin brother. However, I was with her that day you saw her, I knew what she wanted to do and because she was my granddaughter, I told her to spare you and your brother. I knew she was going to turn you. I knew who you were. I knew you were my destined other."
"No," Zero chokes out, subconsciously creating space between Yukashi and himself, heart hammering in his chest. "No, that... you're lying. I don't remember seeing you there. You weren't-"
"I was there," Yukashi interrupts glancing away from Zero which he immediately spots the birthmark he saw before. "She was grieving her deceased lover, the lover your parents killed. She was going to kill every single one of you unless I convinced her otherwise."
His world crumbles around him, mind piecing together what had been bugging him for a long time yet refused to acknowledge. That night is a night he'd never forget, although he may have released most of his resentment and anger, he will forever remember how much agony he felt. Knowing his own flesh and blood betrayed him... now knowing the person he was considering having a future with is actually responsible for what happened to begin with.
Shizuka Hio was Yukashi's granddaughter. The thought disgusts Zero more than anything.
Then it all begins to make sense to him, the constant approach of being told Zero doesn't know Yukashi. What kind of person Yukashi actually is. Sara knew what he did, hell, for all he knew Kaname did too and never said anything because why would he? What surprises Zero more is that he isn't angry at Yukashi for his decision... he doesn't hate him for it either.
He's angry at the fact Yukashi used this opportunity to tell Zero so he wouldn't find out from Sara. Telling Zero now would have prevented any inconvenience between them in the future that could be used as a weakness against Yukashi because of Sara and Hanadagi.
Sure, Yukashi took part in the death of his parents except eventually someone other than Shizuka Hio would have killed them and they would have killed Ichiru and Zero. In the end, it didn't matter because his brother is dead and Zero gets to live under a curse of eternal life.
Compared to how Zero was before meeting Yukashi, he'd like to think he has mellowed out a bit and would have forgiven Yukashi for just about anything. But this? This he cannot forgive.
Without saying another word, the vampire hunter storms out of his dorm in a seething rage obscuring his vision. To be deceived, lied to, and then manipulated by the one person he was beginning to trust pissed him off. Zero never painted Yukashi as a saint or an angel. He knew the Pureblood being thousands of years old had done the worst things imaginable in the past. He would have expected Yukashi to be a very shitty person.
But he isn't. It's not in Yukashi's nature to be a terrible person. He's only reclusive, polite, respectful of those around him, and he doesn't take crap from anyoneânot even from Zero. The Pureblood is always serious yet not entirely honest. Zero knows Yukashi isn't proud of a lot of things he has done in the past and even though Zero is trying to be understanding of that fact...
It's nearly impossible once he recognizes he was being manipulated from the start.
***
"Zero," Yuki taps her knuckles gently onto the wooden door; the silver hair vampire is fully aware of her presence yet chooses to ignore her. "You've been locked in there all morning; it'll be sunset soon."
Ah, he almost forgot. Today is the day Sara and Hanadagi are supposed to attack. In his opinion, they wouldn't announce an attack unless they have something different on their agenda. Either way, Zero couldn't bring himself to care he's too... angry.
There is so much he wants to say except his mind can't come up with the words to confront Yukashi. Right now, the best thing Zero can do for them is not get involved otherwise he won't be able to control his emotions around Yukashi. Including this very moment, it is taking everything he has not to put a bullet in the Pureblood.
"I'm coming in," Yuki warns.
Disregarding the Pureblood Princess, the vampire hunter runs his fingers over the Bloody Rose. Memories of the night he lost his family replaying in his head, unable to shake off the birthmark on Yukashi's neck. He knows he's seen it before but he can't precisely remember when and where.
No matter how hard tries, Zero can't remember Yukashi ever being there when Ichiru encountered Shizuka Hio. Afterward, Zero told Ichiru she was a vampire and took him home, a few days later his parents were slaughtered in front of him. Shizuka nearly sucked him dry but he remained conscious enough to try warning Ichiru who was nowhere to be found.
The door to his room is subtly slammed open causing him to point his anti-vampire weapon at the intruder. Seeing Yuki's face fills Zero with annoyance, he forgot she was trying to get inside a moment ago. "You're fixing that door." He regards in an equally irritated tone.
"I wouldn't have to break it if you had simply opened it," Yuki crosses her arms, huffing angrily. "We have to go to the Moon Dorm."
"I know that, why do you think I'm not there?" Zero answers, rolling his eyes while placing the weapon beside him.
The brunette approaches him, maintaining careful distance to prevent him from throwing an outburst. "Did Yukashi and you have a fight? What did you do?" Her question pisses him off.
"Why do you assume I did something wrong?" Zero snaps, glaring at her.
She offers an apologetic smile, "Sorry,"
Her reply results in the hunter sneering at her. It doesn't take long for Yuki to notice something else other than Yukashi is bothering Zero. "Do you want to talk about it?" She questions softly, sitting at the edge of Zero's bed gazing at him in concern.
When she did that to him, it used to make him feel cared for, deluded him with the notion of having feelings for her or that she'd leave Kaname to be with him. He honestly believed Yuki would be the only one to love Zero regardless of what he was and it was before discovering she was actually a Pureblood as well.
Now, Zero saw Yuki cared for him as a sibling, a person close to her she had grown up with the past few years. And as he thinks of it further, it made him wonder once again if he was using Yuki to replace the twin he lost that night. A brother he wasn't able to protect and so he reflected his failure onto Yuki, doing everything he can to protect her.
He knows she wants to help him but this is something she can't help him with. He needs to figure this out on his own otherwise he'll never learn anything. Taking his silence as an answer, Yuki doesn't ask further, rather sits beside him offering discreet support she feels Zero needs at the moment.
It drives him insane how Yukashi's scent is everywhere in his room. At the same time, it gives him a sense of peace. To think an ancient Pureblood would go through the trouble of trying to spare the lives of two hunters. Sure, they were kids but hunters nonetheless.
These thoughts create cognitive dissonance, whether he should feel like Yukashi should be blamed for how his life turned out or be grateful Yukashi was the one who could do something before it was too late. Yes, it was still tragic and painful.
But it was so long ago, Shizuka Hio is dead, Ichiru died too. It would have been no different if Shizuka had killed them all that night and only Zero survived. In a strange way... Zero had one last time to see his brother, one last chance to put his past at rest.
Like Yukashi said, he made the best possible choice to the worst possible situation.
"Yuki," Zero draws the Kuran's attention. "How would you feel if Kaname knew your uncle was going to kill your parents but he made the choice of only saving you?"
Surprise creases on her face, confusion evident in her eyes before she is able to give him an answer. "I'd feel a lot of things, I guess. But I'd want to know if there was any possibility for him to save my parents too or if saving me was really the only thing he could do."
"So, you wouldn't blame him?"
"Why would I? He wasn't the one who killed them, he was the one who tried to help them. It's not his fault he had no other choice than to choose. What would you do if you knew someone was going to kill a family? Would you do nothing or try to save them even if you can only save one?"
His eyes widen, it's as if Yuki's rational thinking made him realize something so obvious. The vampire hunter jumps to his feet gripping his Bloody Rose, body moving faster than his mind unable to contain himself in seeking Yukashi.
It finally came to him where he saw the birthmark. That day after the attack, Zero was barely conscious, yet he can recall in vague detail someone carrying him away from his home. Someone with platinum blonde hair and a unique birthmark on his neck.