Zero shifts on his bed frowning to himself from the lack of body warmth he's been embracing all night. It lingers on his body and the empty space next to him which is quickly becoming cold; he breathes in snapping his eyes open at Yukashi's scent thick in his room. As he does he spots the blonde leaving his bathroom, closing the door behind him before his soft blue eyes find him.
Zero pushes himself up, facing Yukashi with a small yawn, "What are you doing here?" The hunter questions raking a hand through his hair and remembers he had lost himself the moment Kaname's scent was all over Yukashi. "Yeah, I ask myself the same question. I'm leaving now, I have to get back to the Dorms. I came here to talk to you but clearly, you just wanted to release your stress."
Zero flinches at Yukashi's words, his chest tightening in misery, "Yukashi, that's not...I'm no-"
"I'm tired, Zero," Yukashi's flawless face expresses his pain, "I can't play this little game. I'm trying to close the distance between us, I'm trying to understand you more but clearly, you don't want that. I want an answer Zero, I want to know where you standâI don't want to go around in circles until you feel like you can tell me. Are you still in love with Yuuki? If you are, why are you doing this to me?"
Yukashi stops, Zero forgetting how to breathe for the first several seconds causing him to inwardly panic, "Zero, I want to be by your side. I want to support you, I want to know how you feel, I want to connect with you, and I have been trying but everything I'm doing doesn't seem to get to you. I gave you my body because you're the one I want, I gave you my blood because I am willing to provide you with whatever you need, and I gave you my heart, so I can grow to love you. But you're not responding to me. You're not giving me an answer. The first night, I told you, you can reject me, but you said nothing. You gave me hope, now I feel stupid for hoping without knowing if you want this or not."
His lovely voice cracks from time to time as if he's holding back tears; Zero wants to say somethingâhe needs to say something except nothing is working for him. His lips won't move. Yukashi sighs nodding his eyes as something glistens in his eyes turning away from Zero, "I have to go. When you figure out what you want, I'll be willing to listen." Yukashi starts walking to the door.
Zero grips the sheets trying to resist the impulse to chase after him. Closing his eyes so he doesn't have to see the Pureblood leave his room instead he hears it making it feel much worse than seeing it. He tilts his head down breathing in sharply, the smell of Yukashi is everywhere and it crushes him, "Shit." He should have controlled himself.
He feels as if everything he is doing is wrong. He can't help it; he has never felt his emotions become so intense when he's around Yukashi. It's hard to understand anything when Zero can't control his emotions. Last night...it was different. A part of him was angry about Kaname but the other part of him yearned for Yukashi.
"You're late," Yuuki fakes a scowl on her face and rests her hands on her hips. Zero merely flickers down his gaze causing Yuuki to notice something about Zero, "Hey, are you okay?" She approaches him, concern thick in her voice.
Zero doesn't say anything at first when he reaches her but after some time he responds, "No, I had a bad morning." Yuuki blinks tilting her head as she follows Zero to the classroom, "What happened this morning?"
Zero contemplates in telling her about Yukashi but decides against it. It has nothing to do with her even if Yukashi thinks it does, "I fell asleep," He answers briefly. Clarifying nothing to Yuuki, she takes it as an answer unsure if she wants to continue pestering him. Yukashi's words plague his mind until he decided, "Yuuki, can I talk to you at lunchtime?" He questions.
The brunette smiles up at the silver-haired vampire, "Sure."
Zero couldn't focus on anything other than Yukashi. Every time he has sex with him, his thoughts are even more consumed by him, but this is different. He doesn't know how, he simply knows it is. When lunchtime came aroundâYukashi still hasn't left his mind.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Yuuki stands in front of his desk, everyone had left long ago including the teacher; lavender eyes flicker to Yuuki staring at her. Her short chestnut brown hair falling straight down her shoulders, her large brown eyes tinged with red, her small lips flashing a pretty smile.
She has a petite, slender build making her much more striking with her small height. Except to Zero, he's beginning to wonder what attracted him to her. What was so special about her that he would have given up his life for her? He loves her, right?
His thought drifts to Yukashi again; his platinum blonde hair wavy, masking his nape, soft pale skin, soft blue eyes, and his build lean, average despite being small but tall nonetheless. Zero finds Yukashi absolutely beautiful, difficult to tear his eyes away from him, to not kiss those luscious lips infecting him with toxic sweetness. The scent that drives his inner beast to insanity and bloodlust, yearning to see him, touch him, feel him.
He wants nothing more than to give in to desire coursing through his body, his every being calls out to Yukashi. Seeing the Pureblood cry last night hurt him, seeing him that way without his precious smile hurts him more. When he first met Yukashi, there was something so precious about him he wants to cherish and now it's diminishing.
All because Zero doesn't know how to cherish him. He doesn't know how he should show Yukashi emotions. Zero heard him tell him he can reject him but after what he had done to him the very first night, he didn't want that. He just wanted to think, he wanted to understand what is it that drove him to take such actions.
Yukashi has unhinged him.
"Zero?" Yuuki's voice snaps him out of his rumination realizing he hasn't uttered a single word to her. Yukashi. His lavender eyes begin to glow once again, fangs protruding from his gums taking the Pureblood Princess by surprise.
"Do you need blood? When was the last time you fed?" The brunette quickly pulls up her sleeve putting out her wrist for Zero; Zero reaches for her, touching her delicate hand and soft skin...it feels nothing like Yukashi. It doesn't feel right to his touch, it isn't of the same softness as Yukashi and even as he brings her wrist close to his lips he pauses.
He's thirstyâyes. He's not thirsty for her nor her blood. He craves for Yukashi. Zero peers up at Yuuki holding onto her wrist as his eyes and teeth turn back to normal confusing her, "I don't want your blood." He blurts out, dawning on him of what this is.
He was never in love with Yuuki. He was in love with the idea of loving Yuuki. He believed no one would love him, no one would want a monster like him. Yuuki, however...she was perfect for him. She cared about him and he cared about her, they loved each other except the kind of love Zero has for her is wrong...he had it all wrong, he confused himself with the wrong kind of love.
Yuuki was a chance for him to redeem the mistakes in the past. A chance for him to save her and protect her like he should have done with his younger twinâIchiru. Yuuki makes him happy, Yuuki makes him want to protect the only thing important in this world that keeps him living. He lost his family once and he didn't want to lose Yuuki. He still doesn't.
Because she's family. "All this time, I've been wrong. I was never in love with you, Yuuki, I wanted to be. I wanted to be in love because everyone had someone they loved, they had someone who loved them even if they're a monster. I wanted that, and you were the only one I cared enough to allow you into my life. But I was wrong. I love you, Yuuki, I do but the kind of love I have for you is not the same love I was looking for."
He looks at her with intensity, every word leaving his lips is the truth and Yuuki can tell. No matter how much it pains her to hear this, she wants Zero to be happyâit wouldn't be fair that she gets to be happy except him. She smiles at him, "It's Yukashi, isn't it?"
Zero blinks in surprise, cheeks flustering for some reason, "H-How-"
"I saw the way he looks at you. It's the same way I look at Kaname." She interrupts, shocking him. Yukashi looks at him in that way? "You love him." She advocates.
Zero releases her wrist with a small frown, "I don't know about that." He admits. She gives him a look crossing her arms, "You wouldn't be craving his blood if you didn't."
A vampire's blood-lust can only be quenched by the blood of their beloved.
Zero is anxious; constantly peering over his shoulder waiting for the front gates to open as he keeps the fangirls in line. Yuuki stealing glimpses of Zero noticing his actions; it feels like forever for Zero when he catches Yukashi's scent seemingly relaxing him yet increases his apprehension. The gates are pulled open, the Night class strolling pass the fangirls calling out the names of their crushes.
He hears Yukashi's name being called causing him to feel aggravated by it except he quickly gets a hold of himself to keep him from doing anything rash. He waits, facing the Night class and ignoring the existence of Kaname nearing Yuuki. when he spots Yukashi speaking to Kain, without so much of a thought he approaches the platinum-haired Pureblood.
He grasps his wrist gently giving Yukashi the opportunity to push himself away from him; Yukashi snaps his head to Zero, astonished as the other stop in their tracks staring him down. "Yukashi, can I talk to you later?..." Zero stares into him deeply, Yukashi appears lost for words and unsure. "Please." The word comes out as a whisper.
Yukashi flashes a small smile, "Okay." Relief washes over him, enjoying the tingles dancing on his fingers before slowly releasing him and returning to his position. The fangirls gawk at Zero, curious but soon divert their attention when they notice the Night class continued their walk.
Later, he will speak to Yukashi. Hopefully this time, he can keep himself under control.
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