Chapter 31: Chapter 31

HARLAN

I swung my bag over my shoulder and stalked toward my pickup. This week felt longer than the entire semester shoved together. My body ached from the need to go running.

Not to mention I needed the time with Everlee.

Everyone was still on edge from the incident in her dorm room. I knew Rage thought it was because of me. At this point, I couldn’t say it wasn’t.

I slung my duffle into the bed of my truck.

When I turned to climb into the driver’s seat, I noticed Erick standing at the door. “Long time no see,” he said.

“I’m on my way to the pack house,” I said.

His dark eyes examined me closely, and he didn’t budge when I stepped toward the door handle. “That’s all I get? You missed the lycan meeting at Greg’s yesterday. Is something wrong?”

I leaned against my truck and closed my eyes. There were too many things bumper car-ing around in my mind to pick one.

Erick scoffed and glanced off over the campus. “Is this about what Rage said the other day? I’m sure you heard about our fight in the cafeteria. He accused me of taping some animal leg to Ever’s door. You think I did that?” he asked, lifting his brows.

I shrugged. “I don’t know what to think. I have a lot going on right now.”

Erick watched me in a way that made me uneasy. “Besides winning your mate, what? You can talk to me about it. Lycan to lycan.”

Lycan to lycan. That was the only thing we had in common from what I could tell. “It’s not I can explain.”

I attempted to open the door, but he leaned against the door to keep it closed. “Are you feeling different?” he asked, his voice lower than before.

My gaze lifted from his tennis shoes to his face. “No.”

Erick swallowed and stepped back from the door. “Well, don’t let me hold you up then, Harlan. I’ll see you around. Maybe you can find time to come join the lycans.”

Instead of sitting around and lying to fan his ego, I climbed into my truck and started the engine. My fingers drummed against the steering wheel on my drive toward Ever’s dorm.

Maybe a weekend at home like old times would bring me back to life.

That was how I felt. Dead on the inside. Ever was the only person that made me feel any type of hope. Hope that she would pick me, and we would fall into a tornado of happily-ever-after things.

~We’re not dead.~

I stopped at the sound of the voice in my head. Having a lycan, I always heard commentary whether I wanted it or not, but this sounded different.

“Why do you sound different?” I asked.

Nothing. No one responded. Why did it feel like someone was hiding from me. How could someone hide from me inside of me?

I shook my head and parked by the sidewalk in front of her dorm. Leaving the truck, idling, I walked up the steps and into the dorm lobby.

Ever stood in the lobby, leaned against the counter chatting with the RA. She turned and a soft smile pulled at her mouth. “There you are. Ready to go?”

If she felt anything icky at the moment, she was doing a good job of hiding it.

I snagged her bag from her hands and opened the door for her. She slid past me, and her scent drummed against my skin. The dorm room door slammed behind us, and she raced toward my truck. “I’m so excited to go see Mom and Dad. It feels like forever. I may cry,” she said over her shoulder.

Her mood lightened the tension building in my shoulders. I tossed her bag into the back with mine and hopped into the driver’s seat.

She was already fiddling with the radio when I pulled onto the main road. “Any more surprises at your dorm room?”

“No,” she said, sitting back, settling on a country station. “Thank goodness. The chancellor said he would keep a good eye on it and let us know.”

I shifted in my seat. “Good. I have to run by Kellan’s house when I get to the kingdom. Are you okay entertaining the parentals for a bit?”

Ever gave me a side-eye look. “Yeah? Why do you need to talk to Mrs. Karen?”

I shifted in my seat and turned the volume down. I didn’t want to lie to her. It wouldn’t strengthen our relationship, especially when it felt like we were on the rocks. “I think she may have information about my dad.”

Everlee turned to face me. “What do you want to know about him?”

She transferred her nerves to her hands and began pulling at a string on her jeans. “I need to know what’s happening to me. Something doesn’t feel right. That darkness you felt… It’s there. I feel it. I think it’s my wolf.”

Ever looked up with tear-filled hazel eyes. “What’s wrong with your wolf?”

I shrugged. “That’s what I’m going to find out.”

***

When we pulled into the kingdom, Everlee was bouncing on the edge of her seat. I could tell she missed home as much as I did my freshman year.

I parked beside the castle, and she leaned over before I could get out and kissed my cheek. “I’m going to see Mom and Dad. Meet me in my room after you talk to Kellan’s Mom?”

I pinched her chin and nodded. “Sure thing.”

She got out, ran to get her bag, and raced toward the front steps. The heaviness of talking to Kellan’s Mom followed me as I grabbed my luggage. There were screams of excitement from Ever and Savannah inside.

Part of me wanted to put off the talk, but I knew to get it over with.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walked toward the courtyard. Kellan’s Mother, Mrs. Joann, lived in a small cottage amongst most of the other lycans. Her porch light was on when I stepped onto the creaky porch and knocked.

She opened the door a few moments later with shock on her face. “Harlan?” she asked, wiping her hands on a towel over her shoulder. “How are you, son? Is everything okay? Is Kellan okay?”

“Kellan is fine. He’s on campus. I wanted to speak to you about my dad.”

Her shoulders straightened. “Come on inside, Sweetheart.”

She opened the door and let me in. The smell of her dinner cooking lingered in the air. “Do you want me to come back?”

“No. No. I’m nearly finished. We can speak while I cook.”

She tucked her short blonde hair behind her ear and began to stir the ground beef on the stove. “So, what were you wanting to know about your dad?”

I leaned against the table, looking at pictures of Kellan around the house. “What did you know about him?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I watched him grow up. He was groomed to be a lycan king. The one his parents wanted. The one that would rule a ruthless kingdom.”

She kept her gaze on the food, and I didn’t like it. “What else do you know, Mrs. Joann?”

Suddenly, she turned to me. “What has you asking about him now? You’re about to graduate from Werewolf U. You’ve turned out so…good.”

“Compared to him?” I asked.

She nodded.

I slid my tongue over my teeth. ~Maybe I should leave?~ “I’ve been hearing voices in my head, Mrs. Joann. I need to know if my dad did, too.”

She froze for a few seconds. ~“What kind of voices?”

“It’s only been a voice recently, before that, it was a feeling. It’s dark and hateful. I don’t know what to do about it. Do you know if my dad had one?”

She turned off the stove and wiped her hands. “Have you talked to Alpha Allaire or Luna Savannah about this?”

I chuckled and slid my palm down my face. “No. How could I? They won’t understand. They didn’t know my dad.”

~They killed him.~

I froze at the voice in my ear. I looked over my shoulder, but no one was there. Joanna stepped in front of me and braced her palms on my shoulders. There was fear in her eyes.

“Your father, as a little boy, told his father that someone was telling him to do bad things. I’m assuming it runs in the family.”

I felt like a scared little boy. “What do I do to fix it?”

A soft, pitiful smile crossed her face. “I don’t know, Harlan. You have to fight against it. You can’t give in.”

Irritation at her lack of a solution hit me square in the chest.

~Hit her.~

It was as if my wolf didn’t exist anymore. He’d been taken over by this part of me that I didn’t want inside of me.

“I need to leave,” I said, standing up while she stepped away.

“Harlan,” Mrs. Joann said. “You are not your father.”

The confident look on her face fell to the floor. I didn’t believe for one second that she thought I could beat whatever this was. It was growing inside of me. I was becoming the lycan king that ruled mercilessly. I didn’t want to do this. I had to beat it if I wanted a normal life.

If I wanted Everlee.

I walked toward the castle and slipped inside. They were having dinner. I could hear their laughter and smell the food. I needed to try to get along. I swung open the dining hall door.

Everyone glanced over and greeted me.

Savannah got up and hugged me tightly against her. “I’m so glad to see my boy.”

~She’s not your mother.~

I smiled at her loving face and accepted Alpha Allaire’s hug. The lights. The voices. Even the smell of the food felt off.

Everlee squeezed my thigh under the table and leaned in toward my ear. “Did you find out anything?”

Fighting the urge to run like a coward, I shook my head. “Not yet.”

She took the affirmation and continued eating her dinner. I felt Savannah’s eyes on me while I ate. She sensed something.

Because you couldn’t raise a kid, yours or not, their entire life without knowing when something was wrong.

And something was definitely wrong.

I was becoming a psychopath.

My wolf was preparing to become the next lycan king.

And it was going to ruin my entire life if I didn’t stop it.

Once we finished our meal, I excused myself to go take a shower. I knew Ever wanted me to meet her. I knew Savannah would attempt to talk to me. But I needed the isolation of the shower.

My entire body felt off-kilter.

Vomit climbed my throat the closer I got to my room. I shut and locked the door, letting myself unfold on the bed.

Tears began to run down my face.

The strong lycan I told myself I was ran and hid. The fight to stay sane had begun, and it had a head start.