Chapter 36: Chapter 36

MELODY

Turning the key to unlock my unit, I stepped inside. I hung up my coat, set down my bag on the breakfast bar, and walked toward my room.

I stopped mid-step halfway down the hall, listening closely. The shower was running.

“~Matt~?” I called out.

A familiar voice answered, “Babe, I’ve been waiting for you. Join me?” I could hear the teasing note in his voice.

I smiled. This was exactly what I needed and desperately wanted. A distraction.

Distraction from everything, from my past, from Xavier, and from every memory related to him.

I stripped my clothes layer by layer before stepping inside the bathroom.

I was greeted with a gorgeous view, his back toward me. I could see he’d been working out. My eyes stayed longer than necessary on his ass.

Matt turned and gave me his thousand-watt smile, and the tension eased, even though his smile made me clench and unclench my core.

I closed the distance, and grabbing my hips with both hands, he kissed me passionately, grinding his already hard cock against my core.

After spending an hour inside the shower, he lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bedroom. I enjoyed the feeling, burying my face in his neck as I breathed in his scent.

It had been too long since I had felt this kind of warmth. I hadn’t been with anyone since I’d broken up with him. We occasionally hooked up when he was in town.

Being a quarterback in the NFL, he stayed less and traveled more often.

He carried me as though I were weightless up the stairs to the bedroom. He laid me in the bed and pulled me against him, my back to his front, before wrapping his arms around me.

He kissed my shoulder. “I missed you,” he whispered and continued smooching.

“I’m ready to move on,” I whispered, and he tensed up. “With you,” I said.

Even though thoughts were running rampant through my head, the fact remained that I didn’t have a choice aside from moving on.

The breath he let out was massive, almost like he’d been holding it in the entire time. I turned to face him, and we kissed, this time slowly, passionately.

Breaking the kiss, we just stared at each other. I saw it. I saw everything in his eyes. Pushing him back, I straddled him.

I wiggled a little bit on his lap, causing him to growl. I giggled. He gave me the sexiest smirk as he quickly rolled us so that I was under him. Our lips met, and we started kissing again.

It had been more than six months since we’d last hooked up, and I was so turned on, it turned me into a pile of pure need.

By the time we finished, I saw the sun coming up. My body was well used, aching in places that I would feel all day.

We’d fucked; we’d made love the whole night.

Maybe it was a new start for me and us. I still remembered the conversations we’d had six months back, after sex.

He sighed as he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. After a minute of silence, he turned and propped himself up on his arm so that he could look down at me.

“I can’t do this anymore, Mel. I can’t be your fuck buddy. I have been in love with you for so long. I thought maybe one day you would feel the same for me. You never did.”

He sat up straight. “If you want me, we will take it slow, and if you don’t, just tell me so I can walk away with my dignity.”

“Matt…”

“Just let me say something first. After that, whatever you decide.” I nodded and sat up, covering my chest with a sheet.

“I have been in love with you since high school.” I was stunned by the shocking revelation. “I wanted to ask you out, then Mia told me you didn’t want to date anyone after Clay.”

His eyes were locked onto mine, and he rubbed the bottom of my lip with his thumb. “I didn’t date anyone in high school, but somehow, I gathered the courage to ask you to the prom.

“When you agreed, I was over the moon, Mel, but at the same time, nervous as hell.” He chuckled at the memory.

“Nervous? I was nervous, Matt. I was a virgin with no experience aside from a kiss.”

“So was I, Mel. I was a virgin too,” he admitted sheepishly.

“But you didn’t look like one that night.”

I blushed as I remembered our prom night. I’d lost my virginity to Matt.

His thumb and forefinger pulled at my chin, forcing me to look up at him. Inches from my lips, the warmth of his minty breath tingled my mouth. He leaned forward and kissed me.

“I watched a lot of porn, to learn how to please you. I masturbated twice so I didn’t cum before you. I knew you were a virgin.

“Hell, I even Googled to learn how I could penetrate without hurting you.”

“Oh, Matt.” I sighed and straddled him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I rested my head on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around me. “But after that night, when you told me it was only for one night, I was hurt.”

I looked back up in his eyes. “I saw you kissing Zoe in the library,” I confessed.

I’d had a crush on Matt for as long as I could remember. He had been my first crush and my first too.

Feeling giddy, I’d searched the school for Matt and had found him kissing Zoe. I’d been hurt, so before he’d said anything, I’d told him it had been fun and had left him.

“She kissed me. I pushed her away. I guess you only saw the split second when I was surprised and didn’t have a chance to react yet.”

The look on his face was so sincere I knew he was telling the truth.

~“You avoided me after that,” he accused.~

~

~I looked down. “I didn’t know how to face you without showing how hurt I was, so yeah, I avoided you as much as I could.”~

~

~He nodded. “Remember when we dated the last year of college? I wanted to tell you how I felt for you.”~

~

~“You told me you were in love with Layla.”~

~

~“Jesus, Mel! I never said that. I said I was in love. Before I could tell you I was in love with you, you squealed. You fucking squealed like a child, thinking I was in love with someone else.~

~

~“I knew then you didn’t feel anything for me. I blurted out the first name that came to my mind.”~

~

~I narrowed my gaze. “Did she know about your feelings for me? Is that why she never liked me?” I asked.~

~

~He grimaced and nodded.~

~

~“I’m sorry,” I whispered, kissing his neck. His eyes blazed as I adjusted myself on his lap, gently rubbing against his erection.~

~

~“Babe?” he growled. “Don’t try to distract me.” He gripped my ass hard. I moaned.~

~

~I knew I couldn’t avoid his questioning stare forever. I let my guard down, and before I knew it, I was sobbing on his chest.~

~

~I’d always thought I would be the one to break Xavier’s heart, but the way he’d shattered my heart into a million pieces, even after six years, I hadn’t been able to gather all the pieces together.~

~

~“Listen, babe. I know Xavier fucked you over really bad. I was there for it, remember? I saw the destruction he left behind, but it’s time to move on.”~

~

~He hesitated and took a deep breath before he spoke. “If not with me, then with someone else who will make you happy. Go date and enjoy your life as you always have.~

~

~“If you want me, you just say the word, and I’m yours.” I nodded.~

~

***

I pried my eyes open. Yawning, I rubbed my eyes. I could feel my lips stretching into a smile. I knew why. Because of the person sleeping beside me.

My head was still on his chest, and I was listening to his heartbeat. His arm was wrapped around me tightly, like he was afraid he would lose his hold, and I would disappear.

I was at peace, and I could wake up like this every damned day for the rest of my life. I stared at him, letting my eyes feast on a gorgeous man sleeping next to me.

We had been together eight months, and for the first time, I thought I could really move on. Who was I kidding? I’d already moved on, and I was happy.

And thankfully, I hadn’t seen Xavier after that day. When I’d seen him, it had made me realize how much I’d changed myself for a person who didn’t care for me.

I hadn’t seen any emotion on his face; in fact, he’d looked smug, while I’d been on the verge of breaking down. I’d decided that day I wanted to move on.

I wouldn’t spend my days crying over the person who hadn’t replied to my thousands of messages, voicemails, and emails I’d left when I’d needed him, our son had needed him.

I shook my head. I wouldn’t think about him anymore.

I looked down at the rock on my finger. It was a beautiful princess-cut diamond with white gold. Last week, he’d proposed to me in front of the whole stadium after his game.

I couldn’t resist tracing his jaw and cheek with my finger.

I slowly leaned down and kissed him on his lips, and I was startled when his hand cupped my face, and he deepened the kiss. I hadn’t known he was awake. His warm lips played against mine slowly.

“I love you,” I blurted without thinking.

He looked up, so much emotion swirling in his deep brown eyes. “Do you mean that?”

I guessed I always had, but what I’d felt for Xavier had been different. It had been consuming. I hadn’t been able to see anyone but him, but with Matt, it felt like I was under a safe and warm blanket.

I felt safe, knowing he would never break my heart. I could see us together in the future.

Instead of answering, I leaned down and kissed him. “We should get going,” I whispered.

“Do you want to?” he inquired.

“It’s Dan’s engagement party. Of course. We have to.” I rolled off the bed, wrapping the sheet around me.

“You know he’ll be there with his family,” Matt said, sliding out of the bed. Of course, I knew Dan had rekindled his relationship with Asher, and now they were engaged.

“And I will be with my family. You.” I wrapped my arms around him. He smiled at me again. I couldn’t help but notice that the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

I knew he was afraid of Xavier, my feelings for Xavier.

In an attempt to change the subject, I whispered, “I’m going to California after the engagement reception.”

He tensed and appeared troubled for a moment as he looked back at me. “Do you want me to come?”

I stepped back. “If you want to.” I shrugged, and I hightailed it to my bathroom. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it.

It was never easy, even after seven years. It felt like it was yesterday that I’d held my baby in my arms for the first time, and after ten hours, he’d died in my arms.

And today I would see the person who was responsible for my loss, my baby.