Chapter 38: Chapter 38

XAVIER

“What the fuck was that?!” Asher growled as soon as Melody left. Her soon-to-be husband ran behind her, not before giving me a death glare.

People around us started whispering about what they’d just witnessed.

“Xavier?!” Asher snarled for an answer.

Mila flinched in my arms. I glared at Asher. I put Mila down, and she looked up at me with her innocent eyes. “Why did she hit you?” she asked.

I closed my eyes. I could still feel the stinging in my cheeks, and I deserved it. I deserved every kind of pain for hurting the love of my life. I had been fucking jealous, seeing them together.

She’d looked happy. I wanted her to be happy, but only with me, only by my side, in my arms.

I still remembered the night Gunner and I had been watching the game in his house, and my world had fucking flipped the moment I saw her on-screen.

The fucker had gotten on his knees and had asked her to marry him in front of everyone on national television.

I had gone fucking ballistic and had destroyed Gunner’s living room. Seeing Melody today, dancing with her fiancé, I had been seething. Angry as hell and looking for someone to hurt.

So I’d hurt the only person who meant the fucking world to me.

I looked down at Mila, looking at me with innocent eyes. “Sweetie, I was bad to her. Now go play with your friends,” I said and gave a nod to Luisa, her nanny, to take her.

As soon as Mila was out of our sight, Dan, who’d been holding himself back, lunged at me. He hit me directly on my face, and the second one landed close to my eye.

I wanted it. I wanted him to beat the hell out of me, because I deserved it after what I’d done. The taste of blood filled my mouth. I deserved it.

“You motherfucker!” he growled, punching me again and again. I didn’t fight back.

“Dan, leave him. He isn’t worth it.” Jacob glared at me. “We should go and check on Mel. She needs us after…” He trailed off, his sad eyes on Mila.

Dan’s hands dug into my suit, tugging it at my chest as he held it in fistfuls. “You never deserved her.” With a last growl, he shoved me, and I fell on my butt.

“What the hell is going on?” Mama came forward and gasped when she saw me on the floor, blood seeping from the corner of my lips.

“Nothing,” I replied, standing up and wiping the back of my hand over my mouth, feeling the wetness drag over my hand.

“Baby, are you okay?” Lisa asked, faking concern. She stepped forward and lifted her hand to touch my bleeding lips.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I hissed in a whisper, spitting blood on the floor.

I jerked away from her, and turned and walked through the patio. I shuffled back to my room and locked the door behind me to make sure no one disturbed me.

I just needed a break.

Just one goddamn minute to myself.

I wanted to catch my bearings and compose my thoughts. Watching her with that fucker had made my blood boil.

I walked back and forth, pacing the length of my room, trying to figure out what I could do for her to make her let me back into her life, mentally chastising myself that I had done this to us.

There was no going back. I couldn’t change the past and knew that the ship had sailed. She’d moved on, she was engaged.

~Fuck!~

~

I’d fucked up. I’d hurt her again. And she wouldn’t forgive me. I knew it.

I growled in frustration, raking my hands through my hair, wanting to rip it out of my damn head.

I needed to talk to someone. I closed my eyes for a moment, giving myself the calm that I needed. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I sat on the edge of my bed, the mattress dipping under my weight.

I unlocked my phone and opened the contact list. I’d never deleted her number from my phone. I didn’t have the strength to call her, but I could message her.

I opened the messaging app, and I clicked on the thread of our conversation, noticing our last texts had been exchanged seven years ago.

I tapped on her name, only to find her number was blocked from my phone.

~What the fuck?~

~

I was fucking sure I hadn’t blocked her. I unblocked her number and shut the screen off, unable to find words for what my brain was slowly but surely piecing together.

I was seething with so much anger and hostility that my hands shook as I stared at my phone.

Lisa had blocked Mel’s number from my phone. I knew that it had to have been her.

Who else would have done that? She’d had every motive to block her number and block her from my life, and she’d successfully done it.

~Fuck!~ What if Melody had tried to call me or text me in the last six years? What if she’d needed me and couldn’t reach me?

The worst thing would have been if she’d thought I’d blocked her number.

My neck felt like it was on fire as my pulse thrummed through my veins. I wanted nothing more than to strangle Lisa and choke the life out of her.

I picked up my phone and called the one person who would listen to me without judging.

“Hello?”

“I fucked up,” I whispered, feeling lost and defeated. That was how I was feeling. I couldn’t forget the look on her face when Mila had come and had called me ~daddy~.

The pain I’d seen in her face and eyes—it had broken my heart. I hadn’t liked seeing her that way. Broken and hurt.

I wanted her to be the beautiful, radiant, strong, and kickass woman I knew her to be.

I fucking loved her. And I’d messed everything up.

“Tell me what happened.” I gave him a rundown of what had happened.

“Melody.” Her name was enough for him to know I’d done something wrong.

~I watched her from a distance, starting to feel like a creep. Even after all those years, she was…beautiful.~

~

~Breathtaking.~

~

~Sensational.~

~

~Exquisite.~

~

~I felt a growl forming in my throat as I witnessed Matt place a hand on the small of her back as he guided her to the entrance.~

~

~I gritted my teeth, fighting the urge to walk out and break his hand for touching what was mine.~

~

~She looked different, confident the way she was carrying herself in the tight-fitting clothing that showed off her curves, emphasizing her large breasts and shapely ass.~

~

~I whistled inwardly. I wanted to spank that ass of hers until she was begging for my cock to fill her in every way I knew. My cock instantly rose up to greet her in its own way.~

~

~I wanted nothing more than to bury my dick in her tight warmth, making her scream my name until she didn’t remember anything, only my name.~

~

~I almost burst right there… My cock was straining against my suit pants at the mental image.~

~

~I growled, startling the people around me, when that fucker leaned into her and kissed her. Jealousy pulsed low in my belly at the thought of her with that asshole.~

~

~I wished guilt didn’t eat away at me, especially now, when I watched them walking down, holding hands. That should have been me. I should have been the one with my arms wrapped around her.~

~

~I was the one to blame. I’d let her go, even when she’d been ready to fight with her family for me.~

~

~She had been ready to leave her family for me so we could start our new life together, but I’d given up on her.~

~

~It didn’t stop the jealousy from bubbling up in my gut. It didn’t keep the anger from rising to the surface.~

~

~I decided to stay in the shadows and torture myself by watching them together. She had been the best thing to happen to me in my entire existence.~

~

~I shook my head, trying to get it out of my head and focus on what I was here to do. I focused on the guests arriving and let her walk away from me again.~

~

I told him everything and sighed, leaning my head back on the headboard.

“You are the biggest asshole,” he growled. “We decided you were going to talk with her like an adult. Isn’t that why you wanted the reception here?”

“Yeah, I am,” I growled back.

“I couldn’t see them together. I thought if I saw she was happy and moved on, I would try to move on too, but I lost it. I completely lost it, seeing her happy with a man who is not me.”

I closed my eyes as I felt a pinch in my chest.

“And who’s responsible for that? You. Only you. She left you a note to meet her before she left for good, but you—”

I gritted my teeth in annoyance.

“I know I didn’t go to meet her, and you know the reason behind that too!” I snapped. “I wanted to. I fucking wanted to…” I felt the moisture in my eyes. I couldn’t believe I was crying.

I hadn’t called her, not even once. I’d spent most nights regretting my choices. Wondering if things would have been different if I had called her once, told her the reason for not being there.

Maybe we would have been together.

“And now? What are you going to do?” he asked hesitantly.

I rubbed my free hand over my jaw. “We still don’t have the one thing we’re looking for. Besides that, I need to think about Mila too. She comes first.”

I sighed.

“Even before Melody?”

“Yeah, even before her,” I replied without hesitation.

“So, you’ll just let her go again,” he snapped.

My teeth were gritted so tightly that they might shatter in my head. “What choice do I have? If I choose her, I will lose my daughter,” I screamed.

“I still think you should at least tell her why you didn’t meet her that night, the sacrifice you made for her. Believe me, if she didn’t hate you then, I’m sure as hell she hates you now,” he said.

I wouldn’t admit it, but I completely agreed with him. That realization sent a pang of sadness through me.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I’d seen her looking at me. But instead of seeing lust or our old chemistry in her gaze, it had been full of bitterness and anger.

I’d lost the only thing that mattered to me.

~Melody.~

~

And I was the only one to blame. If I hadn’t been a man whore, if I had kept my dick in my pants, I wouldn’t have been here with the last person I wanted to see.

But for Melody, I would gladly have sacrificed my life, my pride, and everything else for the woman I loved.

Whether she loved me or not.

“You always said I’m good at reading people, didn’t you?” Gunner asked. I didn’t know where this conversation was going, but I listened anyway.

“Do you remember the night at the club?”

“Yeah.”

“That night, I knew she was the one for you. After you left to make a phone call, Melody and I talked, and believe me when I say she would have given up everything for you.

“Plus, you haven’t been completely honest with her. You betrayed her when all she wanted was you. If you want to win her back, tell her everything before it’s too late.

“She’s engaged now but not married yet. Tell her. She might be more understanding if she knows everything. Talk to her, brother,” he advised and hung up.

My heart sank as I realized I probably wouldn’t ever get the chance to tell her that I still loved her and the reason behind my not coming that night.

I went over to the cabinet and opened a bottle of whiskey and poured it into a glass.

I lifted my glass to my lips and tossed it down in one huge swallow to prevent a roar of anger and despair from escaping my chest.

A pounding on my door startled me. “Xavier, open the fucking door!”

I opened it, and Asher stood glaring at me. “I’m not in the mood for your lecture. If—”

“Dan broke up with me,” he announced and stepped inside and sat on the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his legs and laying his head in his hands.

“What?!”

“Do I need to repeat it?” he hissed, glaring at me.

“He broke up with me! He blames himself because he begged her to come here. Are you still not going to tell me what happened between you two?”

His posture, sitting erect with his shoulders tight, told me that he was going to stand firm.

“Nothing happened.” I shrugged and poured another glass for myself. My emotions were a mess of regret and longing and hope.

“Yeah, nothing happened,” he snorted. “You just gave everyone a visual image of her sitting on your face—”

“Stop!” I cringed as I replayed my own words in my mind. I was a dick.

“Give him time to cool down.” That was all I could say at the moment, like the ass I was.

“Give him time?!” he snarled, standing up. “That’s all you’re going to say? He’s freaking out, blaming himself because she’s been missing for an hour!”

“She’s missing?” I asked Asher angrily with clenched teeth, hoping I hadn’t heard him correctly. He nodded.

“Why didn’t you say that before? Fuck!” I growled and started looking for my keys.

“Goddamnit! Where are my keys?” I growled.

“Here,” Asher stretched his hand out, looking at me.

Avoiding his eyes, I grabbed the keys from his hands. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“Where are you going?” Lisa asked, standing at the door. Asher left, giving me a nod.

“That’s none of your fucking business.” I began to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm to stop me.

“It is my business. Are you going to her?” Her voice was full of venom. I lost it again for the second time in a day.

I stalked toward her, and Lisa backed up toward the door, her terrified eyes never leaving my face. I put out my hand and shoved the door closed, crowding her against it.

“Don’t test my patience. It won’t do anything good for you,” I hissed.

Lisa swallowed and stared up at me with huge eyes. She could sense it too, this power crackling through me. “If you go, I’ll—”

I cut her off. “You’ll upload that video?” I dared her to open her mouth.

“You know what? Do it, because it’s the only thing keeping me away from her,” I snarled. “And I know you blocked her from my phone, and you are going to pay for it.”

“I didn’t block her.”

I slammed my fist against the door, and she jumped.” Don’t fucking lie to me.”

I smirked. “Once I’m back, we’re going to talk this time, and you’re going to sign the paper.”

Her voice was a horrified whisper. “You wouldn’t dare.”

I laughed and walked away. She knew what was coming for her.

Now, nothing was going to keep me away from my love. I would tell her everything about why I’d stayed away from her. I would beg her on my knees to forgive me and give me a second chance.