Chapter 42: Chapter 42

MELODY

After Xavier left, I did everything to keep myself from thinking about him.

Hearing Xavier and seeing him in front of me had caused so many emotions: hurt, love, anger.

But after last night, my emotions were jumbled. My heart and mind were in a constant fight.

When I’d woken, I’d heard Xavier’s voice. I remembered our night. I’d cried in his arms. I hadn’t been able to control myself when he’d said, “our son.”

I’d broken down in his arms, and he’d held me tightly all night. I could still smell his cologne on my body, on my clothes.

I’d climbed out of bed and was ready to go and talk to him. That was when I’d heard him telling them what had happened all those years ago.

~My chest ached for him.~

~

Deep down, I’d always known Xavier would never have done that, but I’d held onto the anger, only to keep myself away from him.

But from what I’d heard, I knew now that Lisa was behind all this. I’d trusted her.

I’d never thought Lisa would do this to me or that she hated me so much that her heart hadn’t even melted for a little boy who’d just come into the world.

As much as I hated to admit it, Xavier was equally responsible for all this. If only he’d called me that day, nothing like this would have happened.

We could have saved ourselves from the heartbreak. Owen would have been here with us.

My heart constricted.

~If only he had called.~

~

Once again, the same feeling I’d been fighting returned. The more I fought, the more it came back with equal force. I was tired, weak, sleepy, and numb. All I wanted to do was sleep and never wake up.

I shook my head and closed my eyes quickly as I tried to get myself under control. Sighing, I opened my purse and took out the only thing that took all the pain away.

I took a water bottle and was about to swallow the pill when the door opened, and Dan walked inside. He stopped in his tracks, seeing the pills in my hand.

Avoiding his eyes, I placed the pill in my mouth and swallowed it with water.

“What the fuck, Mel?” he snarled as soon as I placed the bottle on the bedside table.

Hearing his voice, everyone stepped inside the room. In two strides, Dan was shaking me by my shoulder. “Why, Mel? I told you a hundred times not to take that poison again. Then, why?” he growled.

Matt’s face turned pale, and he looked at me with disappointment. “It helps. I don’t feel any pain,” I whispered, looking at Matt. ~I’m sorry, but I needed one today.~

~

“God, Mel! It makes you numb,” Dan growled irritably.

“That’s what I want!” I snapped.

“Jesus, Mel! I don’t like seeing you like this. It hurts me.” He sighed and whispered, “I loved Owen too.”

Silent tears streamed down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I swear I haven’t taken any in a long time. I just needed it after everything.”

He nodded in understanding and let go of my arms.

“I need a shower,” I said and climbed out of bed. I walked a few steps, and my head grew dizzy and my legs gave out.

Before I could fall to the floor, Matt rushed forward and grabbed onto my arms, pulling me into him. Matt cradled me to his chest, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck.

“It’s okay. I got you,” he whispered and picked me up bridal style. When we reached the bathroom, he set me down. He took off my clothes layer by layer until I was standing naked.

He started to unbutton his shirt.

“Matt?” I whispered.

“We will just relax in the tub, nothing more. I promise,” he explained.

I climbed into the tub and relaxed, closing my eyes. Matt sat on the edge and started massaging my shoulders. “Feel good?” he asked.

I nodded, my eyes still closed.

“Can I?” he asked.

I nodded. He didn’t need to be told twice. He climbed over the side and settled himself before pulling my back to his front.

“Babe, I know you’re hurting, but you can talk to me, even about Owen,” he said, rubbing his hands across every inch of my skin he could reach.

I didn’t say anything, but just nodded. He sighed. “I know I was angry at first when you told me you were pregnant, but what you don’t know is that I wasn’t angry with you.

“I was angry with myself because I was too much of a coward to tell you my feelings.” He placed a few kisses on my neck and continued.

“I was angry because I’d always dreamed of us, you pregnant with my baby.” His hands caressed over my stomach.

“But I would have loved Owen because he was part of you. Believe me, babe, I was angry with myself, never you babe, never you.” He kissed my hair.

I nodded. I’d been hurt back then when he’d stopped talking to me when I was pregnant. “I’m sorry too. If you had told me your feelings before graduation, perhaps we would have been together.”

~I would have been saved from the heartache, pain, and suffering.~

~

I could feel him nodding. “This is the regret I will carry my whole life,” he whispered and kissed my shoulder.

“I used to watch you from the corner of the corridor, playing, laughing, so full of life. It started with an attraction. Not just me; every boy in our school wanted you.”

I snorted. “Yeah, they used to bully me.”

He chuckled. “No, babe. It was their way to get noticed. They wanted your attention.

“Anyway, I’d been attracted to your bubbly personality, and then that attraction morphed into a crush, and now, I’m head over heels in love with you.”

I stiffened, and he rubbed my shoulders. “It’s okay. I just wanted to tell you.”

I turned and straddled him. Grabbing his face, I smashed my lips to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, kissing me back.

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine.

“Promise me you won’t take those tablets again. If you need any help, if you want to talk about anything, I mean anything, talk to me. I can’t see you like this, babe,” he whispered, kissing my temple.

I nodded and climbed out of the tub, wrapped a towel around myself, and stepped out of the washroom.

***

“Why did you puke after Dan kissed you?” Sandy asked. We were sitting in the living room after lunch. It had been a while since we’d been together like this.

Matt started laughing, and Dan joined in. I glared at them both. “Yes, Mel. Tell them.” Dan’s eyes were dancing with mischief.

“He sucked someone off just before I kissed him.” I gagged as I remembered.

They all burst out laughing their asses off. “Gosh! Girls on campus were jealous of you. Some wanted Dan, and some Matt, but they both wanted you.”

I was slowly sipping my juice when my phone pinged beside me. I looked, and it was a message from Jenny. I quickly unlocked the phone and opened the message.

Jenny

Hey bitch! When are you coming back? Btw Mr. Ceo is not 10inch, he is 9.

I spit out the juice as soon as I read the message.

“Everything is okay?” Matt asked, trying to look at what I was reading.

I blushed and nodded, biting my lips. His eyes narrowed. “Who is this?”

“No one,” I replied quickly, shaking my head. Before I could do anything, he yanked my phone from me and looked at the message. “What the fuck?” he growled.

“Seriously?” He looked at me. “Is this what you girls talk about?” His expression was comical.

I laughed, unable to control myself. Dan and the others looked at me for an explanation. “It was Jenny. She was telling me our boss is not ten inches, he is nine.”

I told them about how Jenny used to bug me about fucking Mr. CEO.

They all laughed, except for Matt. “So have you?” he asked, looking unsure.

“If I had, she wouldn’t need to tell me he’s nine inches. I would have known already.” I suppressed myself from laughing and raised my eyebrows.

“Yeah, sorry,” he mumbled and rubbed his neck sheepishly.

I faced Dan. “Have you talked to Asher? Please tell him I’m sorry for ruining your day.”

“I broke up with him.”

“What?! Why?!” I asked, standing up abruptly.

He shrugged, looking away.

“Dan, you can’t do this. He loves you, and you love him just as much. Don’t do this, okay? Talk to him; sort out everything.” I kissed his cheek.

“Only a few people get a second chance, Dan. Don’t waste it,” I whispered in his ear as tears started building in my eyes. I sniffled, blinking the tears away.

He looked at me with a strange emotion, and I looked away. “Call him,” I said and walked back to my room.

Dan followed me inside and locked the door. “What are you doing?” I gasped as I saw him locking the door.

“You tell me, Mel. Do you want a second chance with him?” Accusation was visible in his eyes.

“No, Dan. I was talking about you, not me,” I mumbled, the lump in my throat growing tighter.

“Really?” He cocked his head.

“Yeah, Dan. I was talking about you.”

“What if he asks you to give him one more chance?”

“That’s impossible, Dan. Leave it.” I turned my back to him, and he grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him.

“Tell me, Mel. If he comes and asks you to give him a second chance, now that you know he did this all for you, will you give him one more chance?” He mocked me.

“Dan, please go. I don’t want to talk about this,” I begged.

He shook his head. “I dare you to tell me the truth, Melody,” he growled.

I was seething, so I told him what he wanted to know.

“You want the truth, Daniel. So listen. I won’t give him a second chance. I’m not like Lisa, but I’m not a saint. I don’t have a big heart to accept him with his daughter.

“It still hurts; the pain of losing Owen is still fresh. So yeah, I won’t give him a second chance, and I don’t want to, because I will never hurt Matt.

“I will never put him through the pain I felt when I left Xavier.” My heart constricted in pain, and my chest swelled with the grief that consumed me. I gasped for air as I started feeling dizzy.

“I understand, Mel. I’m sorry.” He sighed.

“No, Dan. You don’t understand what I feel. No one can!

“You say you loved Owen, and I know you did, but you didn’t keep him inside your body, you didn’t feel his kick, you didn’t dream of a life with him. I did.

“You didn’t sleep every night, thinking about your lover sleeping with someone else. I did.

“Every night, I closed my eyes, and I saw him and Lisa, naked in bed, mocking me. Telling me how foolish I was to trust them,” I hissed.

I stepped closer until we were millimeters apart. “It doesn’t matter how much I still love him. It doesn’t matter how much I still want him.

“No matter how much I ache for him, I can’t give him a second chance.

“I won’t, because if I ever did, I’m afraid I will become Lisa and will resent the innocent who has nothing to do with any of this,” I whispered.

He took a step back, shocked. “You still love him, even after everything,” he hissed.

“I do,” I admitted, because it was the truth.

“How can you still love him?” He looked disgusted.

Hurt lashed me, flaying away what little guilt I felt. I laughed at his hypocrisy. “You’re asking me, Dan? Tell me you weren’t in love with Asher, even after he cheated on you.”

He looked down, not having an answer.

My body shook as I tried desperately to take air into my lungs, but they burned with the pressure. I turned and frantically started looking for my bag. I needed my pills. I needed them now.

My chest felt tight, painfully tight. Clenching my fists tightly, I gasped for air as I entered a full-blown panic attack.

“Mel? What are you looking for?” Dan asked, his voice filled with concern. My body felt cold. I shook my head.

“Mel?” he called again. I pressed my hand hard against my burning chest.

My vision blurred with dizziness, and I felt my head rolling back slightly.

Dan wrapped his arm around me. “Baby, shh… Just breathe with me, okay?” he whispered. “Inhale, exhale.”

He tried to soothe me, but I was too far gone to hear his voice. The last thing I heard was Matt yelling at the door. Soon, my eyelids felt heavy, and darkness claimed me.

***

When I awoke, I was lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by the beeping and whirring of various monitors and machines. I had an IV in my arm.

I closed my eyes again and tried to ignore the pounding in my head, but rustling in the corner brought me wide awake.

“Dan,” I whispered.

“Sadly, no,” Matt replied as he came into view. The hurt was visible in his eyes. Coming beside me, he took my hand in his.

“How are you feeling now?” He was smiling at me, but within, there was something else, concern and hurt.

“I’m fine, just a little headache.” I winced.

“Why do you always scare me, huh?” Matt whispered, caressing my hair.

“I’m sorry. What happened?”

“Withdrawal,” he sighed. “Babe, you need to stop taking morphine. It’s killing you from the inside. Let it go, babe, let it go once and for all,” he whispered.

“Owen is gone. He’s not coming back. Let go of all the pain you have been carrying inside you, please! Do it for me. If not me, do it for Owen. Let it go…”

His words triggered something inside me. It was too much. I closed my eyes against the blast of agony that went through my body, and tears started streaming down my cheeks.

He climbed in bed beside me, burying my face in his chest. I cried.

I cried for Owen. I’d never grieved for him.

After I’d woken up from a coma, I’d used morphine to numb my pain. I’d partied, started drinking, and slept around for a long time, so I didn’t feel anything.

I sobbed into his chest, and he held me tightly. I cried for all the pain I had held inside me, all the hurt I was carrying in my heart.

I cried for my family. I cried for Xavier. I cried for myself too. Matt kept holding me, comforting me with his strength without demanding anything in return.

By the time I cried myself out, his shirt was soaked.

He wiped away my tears, his touch achingly tender. “Feeling better?” Matt murmured, kissing my hair.

I nodded on his chest. I was really feeling better for the first time. “I forgive him,” I whispered into his chest.

He stiffened. Swallowing hard against the lump in my throat, I looked up from his chest and gave him a tight smile.

“I mean I forgive him, for Owen, for everything. Now I want to move forward without any pain or hurt. I want to be myself again.”

He relaxed. “So we’re good?”

I looked up and glared at him.

He chuckled. “Just checking.” His eyes twinkled.~😅😅😁

~