Chapter 45: Chapter 45

MELODY

“Damn it! Dan, I told you a million times I’m not coming,” I huffed, crossing my arms. We had been fighting over this since last week.

He’d paid me a surprise visit this morning. ~Surprise~ might have been the understatement of the year. He’d given me a shock.

I’d woken up at the sound of the doorbell ringing at 6 a.m. As soon as I’d opened the door, he’d lunged at me, tackling me to the floor.

“I don’t want to repeat what happened at your engagement reception. I don’t want to spoil your day, Dan,” I said softly, and I sighed, seeing his face fall.

He scooted closer. “Nothing is going to happen,” he promised, taking my hands in his.

“We can’t be sure. How do we know he won’t do anything?”

“He won’t do anything.” The confidence in his voice alarmed me.

“How do you know?” I narrowed my eyes.

Dropping my hands, he changed position on the couch, looking away from me.

He shrugged. “He isn’t coming to Las Vegas.”

I gaped at him. “Again, how do you know that?” I asked, trying to gauge his facial expression. The way he was avoiding my eyes, it had something to do with him.

“What did you do, Dan?” I asked.

His throat shifted as he swallowed. “I didn’t do anything… Asher told me he won’t be…able to join…us,” he rambled.

“Dan?”

Dan didn’t respond right away. “Okay. I told him not to come.”

I sensed his hesitation.

“Why, Dan? He’s family. Asher is his brother.” I tried to make him understand. “Does Asher know you told his brother not to be at his wedding?” I winced at the flash of pain in his eyes.

His voice dropped, full of sincerity. “You’re my family too. I will look after you no matter what.”

“Dan,” I sighed. “I know you don’t like him, and you don’t have to, but he is Asher’s brother.” I moved so that I faced him and looked directly into his eyes.

“I’m fine with him being there.” Emotion, thick and powerful, threatened to push forward as I thought of him, but I forced it away.

I could tell he was trying to control his temper, or maybe he was just having some convoluted one-sided argument with himself.

“It’s not only about him… Mila will be there too,” he finally said with a sigh.

I almost flinched at her name. He saw it, no matter how much I tried to act like nothing would bother me, but seeing her or hearing about her reminded me of what I’d lost because of her.

I didn’t blame her for anything. She was innocent, I knew that, but if Lisa hadn’t gotten pregnant with her, maybe Xavier and I would have been together with Owen.

Owen would have been alive with us. We would have been a happy family.

But learning the truth about what had happened and why he’d given up on me so easily had shattered me all over again. We’d stayed apart for no reason.

I wanted to scream and pound him on his chest to ask why he hadn’t called me that day. Who was he to make a decision for both of us alone? He should have asked me what I wanted.

He thought lying to me would hurt me less. I could tell he hadn’t been honest back then, and he wasn’t honest now.

I didn’t blame him for putting his daughter first. I would have done the same if I’d had to pick between Xavier and Owen, but I would have been honest.

No matter how much the truth hurt, I wouldn’t sugarcoat it with lying.

I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering back in time.

Back when we’d spent our night in the same room at the hotel where we’d first hooked up, he’d promised that his soul and heart would be forever mine.

I let a bitter laugh escape my lips when I thought back to all those stupid dreams. The hopeless romantic side of me had started dreaming about our life together.

Within a minute, I had planned everything, from getting married, planning a family, and even dying together.

He may not have loved Lisa, but he’d shared his life, body, and daughter with her.

I knew he still loved me as I loved him. I’d seen it in his eyes when I’d returned his promise necklace. With that necklace, I’d released him from the promise he’d made to me.

Now he was free to love, free to move on with his life with someone else. I’d released him from the pain and heartache we’d both been suffering from.

It might take time, but he would move on; he had to.

I didn’t know what had happened with Lisa. Jake had called me a few times, and so had the rest of my family. I’d let everyone’s calls go to voicemail because I wasn’t ready for them.

I could only think they knew what Lisa had done, and that was why they were calling me again.

It didn’t matter what they thought about me or even if they did think about me at all. I wanted them to be happy.

~Even Xavier.~

~

I just hoped he was happy with his daughter, and that was the saddest part of all. I did want him to be happy, even after everything he’d done. After all the lies.

Even after he’d shredded my heart into a million pieces, I wanted him to be happy.

“I don’t like him, Mel, but I would have accepted him if you were happy with him. Now that he hurt you and left you broken, even hate would be a small word for what I feel for him.”

He shook his head, his blue eyes losing that bright shine. “I don’t know what you saw in him, Mel. He’s much too old for you. There’s a huge age gap.” Dan’s lips pressed into a hard line.

~Have you really seen him? Have you seen his body? His huge ripped body and hard muscles. His tan skin, ink, and every inch of his large cock. Fuck. Me.~

~

~I shouldn’t think about him.~

~

All I could do was shrug as he searched my eyes for answers. “Tell it to my heart,” I said, looking away. He looked at me, assessing for a while, taking me in.

I knew he was too old for me, too alpha for my tastes, and too bossy in the bedroom, not that I was complaining.

I’d liked it when he took the lead. I’d loved it when he dominated me in the bedroom and in bed, but I couldn’t do anything when my heart was already his.

He’d asked me the same question more than once.

“Occasionally, I wonder if there was some way I could switch off my heart or feelings.

“I would have done it a long time ago to end this suffering and the agonizing pain eating me every day. Slowly. Completely. Brutally,” I mumbled, more to myself than to Dan.

I relaxed and leaned back against the couch. “But you know, after California, I feel better. I feel light, and after letting go of all the pain I was holding inside me, I feel free.

“The grip of grief and pain in my heart I had been carrying, it’s gone for the first time. I want to look forward, and nothing is holding me back anymore.”

I suddenly stood and headed to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and pulled out two chilled cans of beer. I walked back to the living room, and Dan looked like I had lost my mind.

“We’re celebrating.” I handed him a can.

“And what are we celebrating?” He raised his eyebrows, and his eyes were dancing with amusement.

“My freedom and the end of your bachelor life.” I opened the can and placed it to my mouth.

He chuckled, and wrapping his arm around me, he pulled me back to his chest. “Want to watch a movie like old times?” I asked.

“Or we can do something else.” He smirked.

I looked up from his chest. “Oh yeah?” I smiled seductively. I knew it did nothing to him, but that was how we were.

“Yeah.” He nodded, his eyes dancing with mischief.

I straddled him and wrapped my arms around him. Leaning closer, I whispered in his ear, “And what would that be?”

“This,” he said and started tickling me. I laughed and laughed. I flopped back on the couch with Dan on top of me.

“Dan! Stop!” I laughed harder. My eyes half closed, and I continued laughing as his fingers assaulted my sides.

“Dan! Stop! Please!” I shrieked, and my stomach ached from laughing. He stopped and looked at me with an odd expression.

“What?” I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes caused by cracking up.

“It’s been long, too long since I saw you laughing,” he said.

I immediately stopped laughing. I didn’t remember when I’d laughed like this. I pushed him back and sat up straight.

“Maybe you should tickle me more,” I smirked, and before he could do anything, I took off to the kitchen, laughing all the way.

We spent the rest of the day watching movies and talking. At night, we went out for dinner and stopped by the bar for a drink.

After seven shots, I was officially drunk. “So, you didn’t tell me why you guys broke up.”

The bartender filled my shot glass and handed it over. I shrugged. “He finally realized I’m too broken to mend. He wanted someone who would love him.” I motioned to the bartender to bring more shots.

“But you said you were ready to move on. You sounded happy on the phone weeks before.” He hesitated. “You said you found a reason?”

I swallowed, my emotions bouncing inside my chest like a ball, before turning to face Dan. “Does it matter? It was he who wanted to break up when I was finally getting there.”

I took another shot, and before he could ask another question, said, “I’m ready to head home.” I threw back my last shot and stood.

Some things were better left unsaid. It would only hurt in the end.

***

I had gotten ready for our date, and we’d gone out to celebrate our engagement anniversary. After coming home, we’d made love, slowly, passionately. Consuming.

It had been intense, like he was memorizing every dip, swell, and curve of my body. Whenever I’d tried to speak, he would cut me off. He hadn’t even waited for what I wanted to tell him.

Next morning, he’d asked me if I remembered what we’d promised each other before we’d started dating in college.

And of course, I’d remembered, because it was me who’d asked him to promise that no matter what happened, we would always be friends.

We would tell each other when things went down or we thought things weren’t working between us.

I’d stared at him, dumbfounded. Before I could think or understand what was happening, he’d broken up with me, giving the thousands of reasons that I had given him before we’d started getting serious.

I’d told him at the time why we shouldn’t be together.

When I’d finally reached the point where I was ready to leave the past and move on and dream about our future, he’d left me, telling me it was best for me.

He’d fucked me that morning too, and I’d let him. It was rough, hard, fast, dirty, and downright filthy. After he’d ended inside me, I’d run to the washroom just in time to vomit in the toilet.

I’d stayed in the washroom for more than an hour. I’d showered, washing every inch of my body. He’d knocked a few times, but I hadn’t answered.

I’d known I’d never loved him the way I loved Xavier, and he’d known too, because I’d always been honest with him.

However, things had changed after we’d come back from California. I’d started to feel something more for him; perhaps it hadn’t been enough for him. I had been dangerously close to falling for him.

All I could think at this moment was it was better that we’d broken up before I’d given my heart to him.

I’d let him go so he could find his soulmate who would only love him.

I hoped one day he would find someone to love again.

***

I woke up with the worst hangover from hell. I thought I’d drunk more last night than I had all year. My head throbbed fucking badly. My whole body ached. It felt like I’d been hit by a Mack truck.

Stumbling from the bed, I went straight to the bathroom to relieve my bladder. I washed my hands and looked up at my reflection.

I winced; I looked terrible. Lipstick and mascara were smudged all over my face, and my eyes were bloodshot.

~Fuck!~

~

~I’m never drinking again. Why the fuck did I drink in the first place?~

~

I washed my hands and then reached for my toothbrush.

After brushing, I stood in the giant, walk-in shower for a good thirty minutes, letting the hot water from the rainfall showerhead soothe my aching muscles.

Wrapping the towel around my body, I stepped out of the bathroom and went to my closet. After changing into a crop top and shorts, I put my hair up into a messy bun.

Once I felt almost human again, I headed downstairs to where I knew there was coffee waiting for me.

I walked down to the kitchen and stopped in the living area when I saw my bags on the floor.

“Dan!” I called. I knew it had to be him. He’d changed my clothes last night. I might have fallen asleep on the way home.

As soon as I saw him, I glared at him. “What’s this?” I cocked my head toward my bag.

He looked at me like I had suddenly grown two heads. His eyes traveled from my face and stopped at my chest, then at my stomach, and last at my crotch.

~What the fuck!~

~

“What?!” I snapped.

He startled and cleared his throat before speaking. “Your bags.”

~Duh.~

~

“I know they’re my bags, Dan, but what are they doing here?”

His stared at my chest again.

“Are you suddenly attracted to me?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“What! No!” He jumped back, horrified.

I bit my lips to stop myself from laughing. “Then?”

“When did you get those piercings and tattoos?” He nodded to my chest.

~Oh.~

~

“Well?” He tapped his foot, waiting for me to answer.

I looked up, meeting his eyes, and he quickly looked away. I swore I caught his eyes on my chest and down at my crotch again.

“I swear to God, Dan, if I see you looking at my pussy one more time, I will cut your balls off!”

He stepped back.

“How much did you see last night?” I asked.

“I swear I saw nothing,” he quickly answered. “I just saw your belly button piercing and…” He trailed off.

“And?”

“I felt something there, while I was pulling your dress up.”

“Did you touch me?!”

“No! God! No!” he replied.

I laughed, seeing him flustered.

“That’s not funny,” Dan growled, but I saw a twinkle in his eyes.

“Well, it is,” I laughed and walked to the kitchen. He followed me.

“You know it’s good to see the old Melody after a long time, but I still want to know about those…” He nodded and looked away.

I sighed. I’d been trying to avoid talking about it.

“It was after I woke up from the coma. I don’t remember much about those days. You already know that.” I looked at him, and all I saw was compassion.

He nodded at me to continue. I almost missed the wounded glint in his eye.

“What I remember is I was talking to a tattoo artist in the club. I told him I wanted a tattoo. We talked, drank, and I left the club with him. I don’t remember what happened next.”

Dan looked downright pissed by my comment; his eyes urged me to continue.

“I remember waking up next to him, and my body was sore. I saw my nipples and belly button were pierced, and Owen’s name was tattooed underneath my left breast.”

I regretted that time of my life. I hadn’t been myself.

“It’s in the past, Mel.” He wrapped his arms around me tightly.

He pulled back. “And what about the tattoo down there?” I laughed at his interest in tattoos. I had a tattoo on my pubic bone and thighs.

And those hadn’t been a drunken mistake. I’d always wanted one down there, but Dad had never approved it. For once, I’d done what I’d wanted for so long. No one had been there to stop me.

“Do you want a tattoo?” I asked.

He nodded and told me he wanted Asher’s name over his heart before the wedding as a wedding gift to him.

We drank coffee and returned to the living room. “What are you going to say about that?”

I waited for him to explain, but he just smiled back. Smugly. “We’re leaving for Las Vegas tonight.”

“I’m not coming with you, Dan,” I sighed, tired of arguing about it again and again.

“So you won’t be at my wedding,” he whispered, pained.

“I will be there at your wedding, but I don’t want to ruin your vacation.”

“You know what? I’m not getting married if you keep avoiding every plan because of him. I won’t marry Asher,” he hissed.

He paced back and forth in front of me, his hands alternating between running through his hair and clenching into fists at his sides.

“Don’t be dramatic, Dan.”

“I’m being dramatic? What about you?” he asked through gritted teeth.

The muscles in his neck pulsed with anger.

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I said nothing.

He picked up his phone from the coffee table and placed it to his ear. “What the fuck are you doing?!” I snapped.

“I’m breaking up with Asher again. I did it before; I can do it again.”

My jaw fell.

~He can’t do this. Can he?~

~

~Who am I kidding?~

~

~He definitely can!~

~

~That fucking manipulating bastard!!~

~

“Fine! I’m coming!” I stood and snatched the phone from his hand. “Happy now?!” I scowled.

He grinned. “Very.”

“But first, call Xavier and tell him he can attend the wedding.” The words escaped my lips, and immediately, my mind was filled with apprehension.

“Are you sure? You’re ready to face him after…” Dan looked at me with concerned eyes.

“I’m sure,” I said and walked back to my room. I might have forgiven him for everything, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t feel anything when I saw him again.

I just had to stay strong and control my feelings.

I was weak for Xavier Clark. The only power I had was never letting him know. I wouldn’t show him what his presence or thinking about him did to me.

I was going to pretend he wasn’t here. I would try to avoid him as long as I could…

~Sometimes avoidance is the best option for a better outcome.~

~