Chapter 48: Chapter 48

MELODY

“Oh my dear God,” I groaned, grabbing my head with both hands.

“Twenty-seven times,” Sandy reminded me. “That’s how many times I have repeated the same word.”

I glared at her. “Not helping,” I hissed.

I remembered seeing him on the dance floor, his hands on my hips, his cock nestled between my buttocks, his lips on the shells of my ears, trailing down to the curve of my neck.

My heart started to speed up, and heat rushed through me, settling between my thighs, as I remembered the feel of his lips. ~Fuck me. I think I’m in trouble.~

~

No matter how much I said I had moved on, he didn’t affect me, I didn’t feel anything for him, it would be a lie. He affected me as much as he had all those years.

Like nothing had changed at all. No time had passed…

I turned to my left. Dan, Mia, Jacob, Sandy, Rick, and Asher were sitting on the couch and staring at me. “Tell me last night was a dream.”

They all shook their heads. “Umm. Did I really ask him if I should go or not?” I asked, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

They nodded together again.

~Fuck!~

~

“I’m never drinking again,” I groaned.

“You say that every next morning,” Dan said.

I glared at him. “I need coffee.”

“That would be your fifth coffee in an hour,” Sandy reminded me again.

“I didn’t know Xavier would be here, Melody. I swear,” Asher said. No matter what the situation was, his name was powerful enough to affect me deeply.

My already wounded heart squeezed in my chest as I remembered the pain that had crossed his eyes when I’d taunted him.

~“My hips aren’t the only things I grind on a stranger,” I said and leaned closer. “And you aren’t the only stranger in my life, Xavier. There were so many I couldn’t even count if I wanted to.”~

~

The sick part of me liked it because that was what I had been aiming for. I’d wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me. But my heart was aching for him like I was feeling his pain; he was inside me.

The feelings for Xavier I’d thought I could resist had come back with a vengeance, and my heart wanted another moment with him.

“I’m moving back to L.A.,” I announced out of the blue, just to turn my train of thought to another direction.

“Really?” Mia asked, grinning.

I nodded. “I got the confirmation email from the publishing house yesterday.”

“I’m so happy.” Mia leapt from her place and wrapped her arms around me.

Dan was still looking at me with measuring eyes when Mia sat beside me, telling me how happy she was.

“Aren’t you happy, Dan?” I asked.

“I’m happy, babe, but are you sure?”

I nodded. I knew he was talking about Owen. “I’m sure.”

“Then I’m so fucking happy,” Dan said. I’d known he would be happy. I’d moved to Sydney because I was running away from everyone, more from myself.

Now that I was feeling like myself again, I wanted to be close to the people I cared about.

My phone pinged, alerting me of an incoming text. It had been booming since morning. I ignored it again. Mia looked at my screen and then up at me. “It’s him,” she whispered.

There was a clench in my chest as if my heart were shrinking. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and looked.

I had two missed calls from Jake, one from Dad and Mom, three from Jenny, one from Carter, one from Matt, and twenty-three missed calls and three messages from Xavier.

Xavier

Can we talk? Please!

My heart was in my throat, and I felt tears in my eyes. The more I stared at his message, the more the pressure increased, and tears threatened to fall.

My tears lost the battle and fell down my cheeks. “Babe.” Dan wrapped his arm around me.

I sighed and leaned my head on Dan’s shoulder and whispered, “Maybe it’s time to talk.” ~Or time to get closure.~

~

“You don’t have to,” Jacob said, kneeling in front of me, his hands caressing my thigh. “We’ll take care of him.”

“I don’t want to hide anymore, Jacob. I won’t hide anymore,” I said and wiped my eyes. It was time to face him.

“Okay,” Jacob whispered. Everyone left one by one, except for Asher and Dan.

Asher stepped forward. “I don’t know what exactly happened between you two, but he was never the same after you and Dan left New York.”

He sat beside me and angled his body so he could see my face.

“I’m not saying this because I’m his brother. I’m saying it because we’re all human. We make mistakes; we regret.” His voice was low, and he looked in Dan’s direction.

“I made a mistake too, but Dan forgave me, and now we’re getting married. I cheated on him because I was curious about sex with a girl, and believe me, it’s the guilt I will carry all my life.

“But all those years, I couldn’t bring myself to love anyone.

“Sure, I had a few relationships, but my love for him never died. It always felt like I was half a person or I was missing something in my life.”

He cleared his throat to regain control of his emotions. “What I’m trying to say is give him a chance—”

“No,” Dan growled. “She won’t give him another chance. I won’t let her.”

“Babe, it’s her life. Let her make the choice if she wants to give him another chance or not,” Asher said to Dan.

“No! He will hurt her again!” Dan growled. “I won’t let him hurt Melody again.”

“He hasn’t been himself, Melody. I’ve never seen him so lost,” Asher squeezed my hand. My heart was a traitor. It hurt for Xavier. I wanted to lick and soothe his every wound.

“I’m not saying to forgive him for whatever he did. I’m saying at least hear him out,” he pleaded.

I nodded. That was all I could do.

I unlocked my phone and texted him my room number. I asked him to come after twenty minutes.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Dan grumbled. Meeting him alone in a room wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t meet him in public when paparazzi were following me everywhere.

I stood and walked up to the window. Dan was looking outside. “Dan, I need this. I need closure.”

He shook his head.

“You don’t know him, Mel. He will convince you to give him another chance. I don’t want to see you hurt again. I saw what he did. I almost lost you, Mel. You almost died because of him,” he hissed.

“What do you mean she almost died?” Asher stood in front of us.

I ignored him and retorted, “He didn’t know about Owen. If Xavier knew, he would have done anything for his son.” A tear rolled down my cheek.

This wasn’t the topic I wanted to talk about. I couldn’t talk about Owen without feeling the pain of losing him.

“Un-fucking-believable,” Dan growled.

“Now you’re taking his side. Mark my words, Mel, he will brainwash you. You don’t know him, Mel. You don’t know men like him! Message him now. Tell him you don’t want to talk to him,” he ordered.

I wanted to scream at him so he could understand it was my life. I could make my own decisions. Instead, I bit my cheek to stop myself because I didn’t want to hurt Dan.

“Who is Owen?” Asher asked. Our heads snapped toward his voice.

“Dan will tell you. Now go. I need to shower,” I said and walked to the shower.

After fifteen minutes, I wrapped one towel around my body and another one over my head. I stepped out of the bathroom and opened the cupboard. I quickly put on my bra and panties.

After putting on black leggings and a white tank top, I was drying my hair, and I heard a knock on my door. There were another few knocks when I didn’t answer. With each knock, I took one step.

First knock, and I took my first step toward him. My heart almost popped out of my chest as I wondered how I would react to seeing him in front of me.

Would I be able to stop myself from telling him how much I still loved him? Even after all those years, he hadn’t left my heart.

The second knock, I was nervous. What would he say? Did he want another chance? Or did he just want to say he was sorry for breaking my heart?

Or maybe he wanted to tell me he’d never loved me. Or maybe he wanted to tell me he’d moved on.

And at the third knock, my body went into a weird mode, panicked and aroused at the same time. Sweat ran down my spine, and heat fanned out in my lower body.

My stomach swooped with nerves as I reached for the doorknob. I twisted the knob to unlock it, and those nerves skittered upward in me, lodging in my throat at the thought of seeing him.

My throat tightened, and a lump formed in it.

Nerves swelled in me once more, and a tear formed at the corner of my eye. But I could do this. I could definitely do this.

I opened the door, and our eyes clashed like a bolt of lightning. At first, my heart faltered at the wealth of emotions brimming in his gaze, and then it pounded.

It pounded as I took in the rest of his appearance. He wore dark jeans and a navy button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

My mouth watered at the sight of him, and I couldn’t help but notice that his arms had new tattoos.

My gaze met his again, and I realized I wasn’t the only one who was studying. He was looking at me with those intense eyes too.

My skin was throbbing, pulsating with too much energy. Dismissing the butterflies in my stomach, I opened the door wider. He smiled and stepped inside, brushing against my body.

My pulse increased, and heat flowed through me. The scent of his cologne filled my nose, causing me to tense. Not because it smelled bad, but because it reminded me of the time we’d spent together.

It reminded me of the time I used to lean into his neck to smell his cologne like it was a drug to calm me.

Shaking my head mentally, I closed the door and turned to face him.

He smiled again.

Xavier’s smile melted my panties right off. No matter how much time had passed, he still affected me like he had the first time we’d met.

I’d broken my first rule for him—never to sleep with a stranger—and after that, I’d broken every one of my rules for him. Only for him.

We stood there, staring at each other. Suddenly, he looked too big standing here. My room felt too small and emptied of oxygen.

The tension was so thick it was hard to fucking breathe.

He walked over to the couch and sat in the middle, waiting for me. Waiting for what? For me to straddle him like I used to do? Fuck no!

I sat on the chair across from him, and he chuckled.

I scowled at him. He got serious and asked, “How are you?”

~Seriously?~

~

“Cut the crap, Xavier. What do you want to talk about?” I snapped. I used my anger as a mental shield. That was what I’d been doing all along.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he stared at me with his beautiful green eyes. I loved him enough that I would have died for him if I had to. Instead, he’d decided to kill me slowly, painfully, brutally.

A torrent of misery whipped through me as everything flashed in front of my eyes, my pain, my loss, my heartaches.

I stood and crossed my arms. “What do you want, Xavier?” I asked calmly, although there was a raging inferno inside me.

He saw the seriousness in my face, and he stood and crossed the distance between us.

He took another step closer, and the woodsy scent of his cologne woke up every nerve inside me, making me curse myself for not being strong enough to resist him or my desire for him.

I closed my eyes to fight back the emotions. I swallowed my pounding heart and turned my head up to Xavier, refusing to let him see how close to coming undone this was making me.

He tucked my hair behind my ear and traced the outline of my jaw with his thumb, bringing it up to my mouth. I parted my lips, feeling intoxicated by his touch.

His eyes met mine, and something passed between us. My heart was in my throat, beating so fast and so loudly there was no way he wasn’t hearing it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and just like that, the spell broke between us, and I was brought back to the present.

I stepped back.

“Sorry for what, Xavier? For breaking my heart? Breaking my trust? For breaking me? For our son? What are you sorry for?” I snapped. My eyes welled up with tears, though I blinked to get rid of them.

He moved forward, reaching out for me, but I moved away from him. My feet stepped back, and he flinched.

“I’m sorry for everything, for breaking your heart, for breaking your trust, for not being able to save our son. I’m sorry for everything.”

“Your being sorry won’t bring my Owen back, so save it and leave. You said what you wanted to say. Now just leave,” I said, trying damn hard to contain myself from breaking down in front of him.

“I would give up my life without a second thought if it would bring Owen back, believe me,” he said, pleading with me.

I laughed humorlessly. “Believe you?” I shook my head.

“See me, Xavier. Look at where I’m standing just because I believed you. I trusted you not just with my body but my heart too.

“The whole time I dated, I kept my heart safe, knowing what heartbreak could do.

“I saw my brother crying for his love; I saw Mia crying over her heartbreak, but after meeting you, I gave you my heart like tissue paper. I trusted you with my fucking heart, Xavier.

“You are the biggest regret of my life!” My throat hitched, clogged with emotions I didn’t want to feel.

“This was a mistake. We were a mistake,” I whispered and stepped back to maintain the distance between us, but his fingers clamped around my wrist, stopping me from taking another step back.

My heart started to speed up, and heat rushed through me, settling between my thighs by only his single touch.

I wanted to push him away and bring him closer at the same time. “There’s something I want to tell you.” Something in his voice made me look up to his face.

He stared at me with a combination of hatred and lust, more intensely than anyone had ever looked at me before. It turned me on and terrified me.

Did he hate me, or was the hatred for someone else? He led me to the couch, and I sat, and he sat beside me.

“I never wanted to hurt you. I can’t even think about it in my dreams,” he said, taking my hands in his. Naked agony danced on his features, and I felt my heart clench.

“I never wanted anyone else after you. I didn’t touch or even want to touch any woman after you. You were all I wanted. I searched for you, but I didn’t know Lisa already knew about you,” Xavier said.

My eyes widened in surprise. “She knew the girl you hooked up with was me?”

He nodded and grimaced. “She knew all along. She planned all of it.” He started telling me how it had all been her, how she’d messed with his drink and condom.

Only because she hated me and because he loved me.

How could she hate me when I only loved her? What had I done to her? Why did she hate me?

I’d loved her as my sister; I’d admired her as my mentor. Where had I gone wrong? Did she hate me because of Duncan?

“Is this because of Duncan?” A strangled voice came from my throat.

He shook his head. “I don’t know how to tell you.”

“How to tell me what?” I whispered. What could be more painful than the sister I’d loved all my life hated me, that her heart hadn’t even melted for the innocent who’d just opened his eyes?

Xavier squeezed my hand. “It was her who planned everything…” He swallowed thickly.

“Just rip the bandage off, Xavier. I can take it, whatever it is.” I could feel rawness burn in my throat as I spoke.

My chest was tight as I fought to draw in some air.

I waited for him to say any fucking thing, but he just sat there, silently staring at me like I was a fucking doll who would break as soon as he told me what else she’d planned for me.

“Just spit it out!” I snapped. My throat closed, and I had to fight the lump that was lodged there.

“It was Lisa who planned everything with Clay. She schemed—”

My stomach turned, and I felt sick, knowing what he was going to say. Everything I’d eaten in the morning threatened to come right back up.

“My rape,” I completed, the pain—unbearable pain—tearing my insides to shreds.

Unstoppable tears flooded my eyes and poured down my cheeks. Xavier wrapped his arms around me.

Guttural sobs racked my body. He rocked me in his arms like a child, and I clutched at him harder. He was the only thing keeping me together and making me fall apart.

“Shh, baby, shit, please, stop crying. You’re killing me here.” Xavier’s voice was choked, and I looked up to see the pain in his eyes. His face was soft with tenderness and worry.

He kissed my hair, quietly shushing me. I drew way too much comfort from his embrace. “Talk to me, baby. It will help.” His eyes held a wealth of promise, trust, and understanding.

“I blamed you for everything. I hated you,” I let out.

“It’s okay. Blame me. If it makes you happy, blame me all you want, baby. I would happily lay down my life for you. I want you to be happy. I can’t see you crying.”

His arms tightened around me. I stopped crying and simply held on to him because I didn’t want this to end. I breathed him in, and he did the same.

His arms were shaking around me, and I looked up at him. I’d never seen his face so expressive before. I could see everything—love, concern, hope.

We were silent for long minutes, while his fingers continued to soothe my skin, and his presence soothed my soul. “Feeling better now?” Xavier asked.

I sat up straight and scooted away from him. “I’m fine,” I muttered. Standing up, I turned to face him. “Thank you for telling me.”

He stood too. “It wasn’t the only reason why I’m here. I want another chance to prove I love you.” I inhaled and tried to get my heart rate to go back to normal.

“I still want you.” He took a step toward me. I should have stepped back. I knew it, but I couldn’t.

My anger and grief were slowly draining out of my body, and something else was filling up the emptiness inside me. Lust.

“I never stopped loving you, Melody,” he whispered, and the hunger in his expression was unmistakable. I was rendered speechless by it.

He walked closer to me; putting his hand on my cheek, he tipped my face up and made me meet his gaze.

I saw desire lurking there, and the scent of his cologne triggered something animalistic inside me. My heart started to speed up, and heat rushed through me, settling between my thighs.

“Just give me one chance. Let me prove it to you. It was you, only you,” he whispered and bent down to plant a kiss onto my lips.

My heart started to ache, even though everything I wanted was right in front of me for the taking. I stepped back. “I can’t,” I whispered. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake I had back then.

He looked heartbroken. “You don’t love me anymore?” he asked.

“I never stopped loving you, Xavier,” I confessed.

He smiled, but his smile faltered at my next words. “The thing is, I don’t trust you anymore, Xavier. Hell, I don’t even trust myself at this point.”

I turned my back to him. It’s been seven years, Xavier. Seven fucking years. You don’t know me anymore. I’m not the same Melody you knew.”

“That’s not going to change my love for you,” he argued.

I shook my head and turned to face him. “Xavier, I can’t and I won’t go back down the road that led me to where I am now. You don’t know one fucking thing about me.”

“Then tell me. Give me this week so I can know you once again,” he insisted.

I shook my head, frustrated. Everything was coming full circle now.

He’d asked me for three days before, and now he was asking me to give him this week, but I was a lot different from what I used to be.

“I wasn’t lying about the stranger thing I said last night. After waking up from the coma, I wasn’t the same, Xavier.”

His jaw ticked, and his hands curled into fists, so I decided to give him one last blow.

“Do you know I’ve left a trail of happy dicks and broken hearts in California? I can’t even count the dicks that I had in the last few years. How many cocks I have sucked, how many fucked my ass.

“So I’m not the same Melody, Xavier. Go find someone else. Move on and be happy.” I walked over to the window, looking down at the people enjoying their time in the swimming pool.

Suddenly, I was pinned against the window glass, my cheek resting against the cool glass.

“If you think it will change my love for you, then you are dead wrong. I love you, and my feelings for you wouldn’t change, even if you had fucked half the country.

“They were past, and I’m your fucking present and motherfucking future,” he growled angrily in my ear, pressing his hard cock into my buttocks.

“You can feel this?” he growled, grinding his cock. “My cock hasn’t tasted any pussy in seven long years.” I gasped at his confession.

“Because he only wanted you, like me, and he still wants you, like me.” He turned me, and my back hit the cold glass. Fire danced in his eyes.

“Let me make one thing clear to you. Nothing will change my feelings for you, and no one can replace you in my heart,” he growled. He was furious about my remark.

Before I knew what was happening, he leaned forward and pressed his lips on mine, hard. I opened my mouth to him, inviting him in. He took my face in his big, strong hands and pulled me closer to him.

His tongue thrust in and licked me from the inside—the roof of my mouth, my tongue, my teeth. The heat between my thighs intensified, and my pussy begged to be touched. Stroked. Fucked hard.

I pressed my body to his and kissed him back with everything I was. I poured my soul into it.