Chapter 49: Chapter 49

XAVIER

I crushed my mouth to hers. I consumed her lips. I kissed her hard and greedily.

As soon as my lips touched hers, the heart inside my chest started beating again, like it had been in a long sleep for seven years. There was only one word I could say.

~Perfection.~

~

That was how I’d always described kissing her. We were perfect; we made each other perfect.

I pressed my lips harder against hers, taking her mouth in a hard, demanding kiss as I held her so tightly that she whimpered.

At this moment, nothing else mattered, because there was room for nothing else in my world but her. It felt like no time had passed. No years had gone by.

I knew she had been trying to push me away when she’d told me about her past life and that somehow I’d been responsible for everything.

But the past was past and always would be, because, in the end, it didn’t matter if she’d fucked hundreds or thousands, because she was mine, and I would remind her again.

She belonged with me; we belonged together. She kissed me back feverishly, crushing her lips against mine, and I groaned as she led, sweeping her tongue into my mouth, diving deeper, consuming me.

There were no doubts. No questions. She had to feel everything I felt. She had to want a second chance too.

I took her chin in my hand and tilted it so I could get her mouth where I wanted it to kiss her even more deeply. She moaned against my tongue, and I greedily swallowed it down.

I wanted to do other things too. Like slide her under me, pull her on top of me, strip off all her clothes. But somehow I managed to restrain myself.

“Xavier,” she said softly, and hearing her whisper my name was almost enough to make me come right then and there.

I slowly brought my face down and buried it in her neck, layering kisses on her soft skin. The craving for her ran so damn deeply it lived inside my bones.

“Melody,” I whispered, rough and gravelly, filled with so much want for her that had built over the years, grown higher, spread farther, formed roots.

“I love you, baby. I missed you. There wasn’t a single second I didn’t think about you. There wasn’t a day I didn’t regret giving up on you.

“It was the worst decision of my life,” I whispered, and her body hardened at my last sentence.

She stepped back. “It’s—”

“Let me finish first,” I pleaded.

She rubbed her temple to ease the pain. “Coffee?” she asked.

I nodded, and she walked back to the table and poured two cups of coffee.

I sat on a couch. “You have to know this first, Melody. I never planned to give up on you. After Lisa gave me that tape, my mind went completely numb. I didn’t know what to do.”

“A call would have been enough,” she hissed. “I was waiting for you, Xavier.”

I sighed. “I know. I’m sorry.” Placing the coffee mug back on the table, I knelt in front of her. With my hand on her thigh, I looked up into her eyes to show her everything.

I showed her how desperate I had been to meet her that night. “I wanted to call you, meet you.

“But with everything going on, the bomb she dropped about being pregnant, and with that tape, I didn’t know what to do. I went to meet Gunner that morning, and he told me to wait a few days.”

I hesitated and looked down, unable to meet her eyes, unable to see hatred for me in her eyes. “But after the paternity test, she threatened that if I tried to contact you, she would abort the baby.”

I stopped as I felt a tear drop onto my knuckles.

“Why does she hate me so much?” she whispered as tears kept falling from her eyes.

“No one tried to contact me. Mom, Dad, Jake, Nick. No one tried to call me once to find out whether I was alive or not.”

I sat beside her, wrapping my arms around her. I pulled her closely to my chest.

“I’m sorry for everything, baby. I know my apology won’t be enough. It won’t take away all the pain you endured all those years because of me, but I will do anything.

“Anything to make up for all those years. Believe me, if I could go back in time, I would completely do the whole thing over and find a way to be with you, but there are a few things you should know.”

I told her what Lisa had said about being jealous of her.

“There is something else,” I said. She sat up straight, looking alarmed. “I don’t know if I should tell you or not,” I whispered.

I still wasn’t sure, but now that I had decided to start fresh with her, leaving everything behind, I didn’t want to hide anything; I don’t want any secrets between us.

“What else?”

I cleared my throat. “Your parents visited after the cops arrested Lisa. I told them what she did, and they told me—”

“They told you what?”

“That…that you were adopted.”

She sighed and removed my arm from her shoulder. I looked shocked. “I know that, Xavier. I knew I was adopted, but thank you for telling me.”

I was still recovering from the shock. She sighed and angled her body. “Remember I always told you whatever happened, I’d always put them first?”

I nodded because that was what she’d always told me; she would always choose her family, even above me.

“Because I always felt like I owed them, not because they made me feel that way. They loved us all equally. I never felt like I was adopted.”

She cocked her head. “Ever heard the phrase, ‘Blood is thicker than water’? They proved it, right?” She laughed sardonically.

Suddenly, her demeanor changed. She stood and straddled me, wrapping her arms around me. She leaned down and stopped just before her lips touched mine.

My cock jumped as an intense wave of desire crashed over me. To touch her everywhere. To have her, take her. I didn’t know how much longer I could control myself.

“Are you sure?” she whispered, her breath touching my lips.

My senses were numb; all I wanted was to feel her lips on mine again. I was desperate to have her in my arms again, to smother her in kisses that erased all the years.

“Sure about what?” I asked, my eyes still on her lips.

“You will do anything to make up for all those years.” My eyes snapped up to meet hers. There was no doubt about that, but I didn’t like the way she was asking.

“Anything,” I replied.

She smiled sadly, and my heart jumped up in my throat. “Walk away from me; forget me. Move on with someone else,” she begged, her eyes glossy.

I shook my head. There was no way on earth, no way that I would let the woman I wanted slip away from me again.

“Ask me for my life; I will give it to you, but I’m not walking away from you, and I won’t let you walk away from me.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer. “Not this time.”

“Please!” she whimpered as a tear rolled down her cheek. “We are not meant to be together. You saw what happened when we tried.”

There was a sharp pang in my chest, and I wanted to kick myself for not fighting enough, but what choice had I had back then? Choosing her would have meant losing Mila.

“Maybe that wasn’t the right time for us,” I asserted, knowing I would only get one chance to make everything right.

Now that I had the opportunity for a second chance, the game was on, and I was going balls to the wall to win my woman back.

She shook her head, frustrated. “We will hurt each other again.”

“We won’t, but if we fight after getting married like other husbands and wives do, then we’ll make up with good sex.” I smirked and slid my hand down to her ass, squeezing it. Hard.

I wanted her to know how serious I was.

I had no doubt about us, and it was the only way to plant an idea in her mind. I knew she would be thinking about what I was saying and would imagine us as a couple before going to sleep.

“Are you out of your mind? I’m saying I don’t want any kind of relationship with you, and you are talking about getting married,” she hissed.

“Who knows? You might leave this place as Mrs. Xavier Clark, with my ring on your finger. After all, we are in Las Vegas, baby.”

I grinned cockily and my cock agreed with me, because that fucker jumped up at the thought of my ring on her finger.

Her eyes widened. She felt my excitement too. “Un-fucking-believable,” she growled and wiggled, trying to fight my grip on her ass. Her friction resulted in hardening my cock even further.

“Stop moving unless you want the same thing as me,” I growled in her ear. She froze.

~Good.~

~

“Now listen to me carefully. I will say this once. I’m not going to back down now. I took a step back before because I thought you would be happy with him.”

I leaned closer until my nose was buried in her neck. I inhaled her, that honey scent, a new smell I could get addicted to. “You are mine, and I’m yours.” Her breath caught.

“We are made for each other,” I whispered, smothering kisses down the column of her neck.

She slid off and stood. “I have spent seven years hating you, Xavier,” she hissed. My jaw tightened, and my shoulders tensed.

“Do you think I wanted to sleep around for my pleasure? No! I slept around because I wanted to forget you. I wanted to forget the way you used to touch me.

“I wanted to forget your essence that was deeply buried in my senses. I wanted to forget everything that reminded me of you. I wanted to forget I ever loved you!” she snapped and fell to her knees.

My heart skittered at the thought. I shook my head to erase the mental images. I took a step toward her, but she stopped me with her hand.

“Every morning that I woke up in a stranger’s bed, I would go home and spend my day crying and throwing up. Hating myself for the person I had become.”

She looked up, her eyes showing the pain she had been hiding behind her happy smile.

“And again, as evening rolled on, you were back in my mind.

“I wanted nothing more than to come back to New York and ask you why you did this to me, and again, I had to remind myself you are a father and married to my sister.

“Then again, to numb everything, I’d go to the bar, and the next day again, I’d wake in a stranger’s bed.” Her tears freely fell down her cheeks.

~Fuck. It would be a lie if I say it didn’t just slice my heart.~

~

“I didn’t marry her, nor did I want to.” I knelt in front of her, but I didn’t touch her, although my hands were itching to comfort her, to keep her safe in my arms.

“I know that now, but how could I have known? She sent me a fucking invitation, maybe to make sure I didn’t come back for you,” she hissed.

I gritted my teeth and stared at the wall, trying to figure out what the hell to do. “I want to kill that bitch,” I muttered under my breath.

I sighed heavily and scratched my jaw, then inhaled, looking for some new kind of courage to say something I wasn’t ready to give, but I had to.

“If you need time, I will give you as much as you want, but I’m not giving you up.” I stopped to let everything sink into her mind.

“We could forget everything and start fresh with each other. I promise to do everything that makes you happy. You just need to give me a chance,” I whispered and kissed her forehead.

I stood to head back to my room. I reached the door and was about to twist the knob when she called.

“You are not understanding! I can’t forget everything. I can’t forget Owen like he never existed. I don’t want time. I don’t want you!” she screamed.

I whirled to see her standing. I took my time studying her this time. “What is it, Melody?” I asked.

“I’m not asking you to forget Owen. He was our son. I hate myself for not being there for you and not being able to save him.” I stopped and looked at the way she was fidgeting.

“But I also know this is not about Owen. So tell me, why are you afraid to give me another chance?” I closed the distance between us and tilted her chin up.

“Open your eyes, Melody,” I ordered. She shook her head. “Is this because of Mila?” I asked, and I got my answer from the way she cringed.

I should have known this. She would never accept Mila. “You hate her, don’t you?” I asked.

Her eyes flew open, and she looked shocked. “Is that what you think of me? You think I would hate an innocent kid?” She shook her head.

“Then you don’t know me enough, Xavier, if you think I can hate a kid. Ever.”

She moved away from me. I followed her. “Then tell me. What are you afraid of?” I demanded.

“Tell me, Melody. Why don’t you want to give us a chance?” I asked again. I grabbed her shoulders and asked, again and again.

She jerked my hands off her shoulders. “I’m afraid of becoming another version of Lisa, Xavier. Mila reminds me of Owen,” she snapped.

“I don’t hate her. I don’t blame her, but she is the reason.

“If Lisa had not been pregnant with her, maybe we would have been together; maybe Owen would have been with us. I’m afraid I will resent Mila.”

It hurt, but it was true. I’d never thought about it from her point of view. I wouldn’t say I could feel her pain, because I couldn’t.

She’d kept Owen inside her body for nine months, and she’d gone through pain to bring him to this world. She’d seen him dying in front of her eyes.

I couldn’t even see Mila getting hurt, so I wouldn’t pretend to feel her pain.

~But there is something I can do to lessen her pain.~

~

I sighed and took my wallet out of my back pocket. I looked at the two photos in my wallet. One was of Mila the day she was born and the second was of Owen the day he was born.

When I’d first placed Owen’s pic beside Mila’s, I was stunned by how similar they looked. It was like staring at a picture of twins. Same eyes, same hair, same nose.

The only difference was their skin color. Mila had darker skin than Owen.

I’d always thought Mila would be able to fill the void left inside Melody after Owen’s death. Like me, Mila also needed her. They both need each other.

I took her hand and placed my wallet in her hands. She looked down and sucked in a sharp breath as she looked at their pictures. “Now tell me, Melody. What do you think?”

She looked up. “They looked like—”

“Twins,” I said. Her lips wobbled, and she nodded. They definitely looked like twins. They were only a month apart. She looked down again and ran her finger over Owen’s picture.

She looked up. “Will you hold me?” she asked, delicate and vulnerable. It was everything I’d been dying to do. Just hold her. My arms, my chest, tingled with memories of holding her.

I opened my arms and she walked into them. Burying her face in my chest, she sniffed. I wrapped my arms around her. Tightly. I was hopeful.

I closed my eyes, remembering the way she’d felt in my arms. The way she’d smelled. Her smile. Her laugh.

With her in my arms, I vowed to bring her back. The old Melody would live again. The one who used to laugh freely without caring what others thought, the one who used to joke around and pull pranks.

“Like me, she needs you too, baby. She needs motherly love.” She tensed up, and I rubbed her back.

“I’m not asking you to shower her with love. I’m asking you to give only one percent of the love you feel for Owen. She will be happy, believe me.”

Because I knew her one percent love would be more than enough, because Melody was a creature who was full of love.

It wasn’t that Lisa had never loved her daughter; she had loved her.

But as time passed, she’d thought she would win me back using Mila, but she’d lost all my respect the day she’d shown me her real face.

As more time had passed, she’d known she was nothing to me and would get nothing from me. She’d started despising her daughter too, because she was my daughter.

Yet I’d let her live with us because she was the mother of my daughter, and if I’d tried to kick her out of my house, she would have taken Mila with her only to hurt me.

Melody stayed in my arms for a long time. After a few minutes, she stepped back and locked herself in the bathroom.

Maybe I’d said too much. Maybe I hadn’t said enough. I didn’t know. Now the ball was in her court, and I just had to wait.

I walked back to my room with a hope she would accept me and would give me another chance.