Chapter 50: Chapter 50

MELODY

It had been two days since Xavier and I had talked in my room. I’d never thought it would be so hard and painful seeing him begging me for a second chance.

But I wasn’t the same emotional fool I used to be.

I was emotional, but I had learned to control my emotions and know when to show them, but when it came to Xavier, I couldn’t control anything, not even the voices coming from my heart.

Every plea coming from him had broken my heart.

I’d felt every ounce of his pain with his every word, but that couldn’t erase the pain and the memories of the night I’d cried in my bed, for him, for Owen.

He couldn’t expect me to accept him just because he was sorry or just because he regretted his decision. He couldn’t expect me to forget everything and move on.

It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t fucking easy for me. He hadn’t lost anything. He’d gotten what he wanted. His daughter.

It was me who’d lost everything—my family, my son. I hadn’t done anything to deserve this kind of pain. I had never hurt anyone in my whole life, at least never intentionally.

Then what was I being punished for? Why was I the only one losing everything? Why had God ripped Owen from my arms before I’d gotten to tell him how much I loved him?

My eyes were still fixed on the pictures in front of me. Pictures of Owen and Mila. They might have looked like twins, but I knew in my heart no one could replace Owen. No one. Not even Mila.

Didn’t matter if she looked like Owen; she would always be Lisa’s daughter.

Didn’t matter that I saw my Owen in her eyes; nothing would change, even if I imagined my Owen would have smiled like she was smiling in the video playing in front of my eyes.

He would have run and played like she was in this video. I closed my laptop and took deep breaths to both calm and anchor myself. Because I was far too weak against my pain when it came to Owen.

I’d asked Asher if I could see more pictures of his niece. He’d given me a few pictures and a video of Mila, not before telling me he knew about Owen, and he was sorry.

I stared at her pictures all night, imagining Owen. I imagined Owen playing with toys, laughing, and giggling when tickled.

“Mel?” Mia called, knocking on the door. I wiped my eyes and climbed out of bed.

I opened the door. “Hey,” I said. She was still wearing a bikini from the morning.

She looked at me. “Were you crying?”

“Nope.” I shook my head.

She sighed, aware of my lie. “Okay, we’re going down to a nearby diner for lunch. You coming?”

“Yeah.” I nodded and changed into a pair of jeans and a halter top. I met Mia in the lobby, and we headed to the diner.

Dan, Jacob, Sandy, Rick, and Asher were already waiting for us, and I slid onto the empty chair beside Dan.

Oliver offered me a smile, but I ignored him. I grabbed the menu just to avoid him. I was still pissed with him.

Xavier and two other friends of Asher’s, Jackson and Nathan, joined us. “Hey,” Nathan said, sitting beside me.

“Hi,” I replied a little uncomfortably. He’d been trying to flirt with me every chance he got.

“I saw your videos last night on the Facebook page. You look beautiful,” he whispered, leaning toward me. I’d posted a small thank-you video for the birthday wishes.

I saw Xavier’s hands balled into fists. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“You are single?” he asked, with a slight interest in his voice.

“Nate,” Asher warned, “I told you; she’s off limits.”

My head snapped toward Asher. “What the fuck does I’m off limits mean?”

“Babe, you recently broke up,” Dan said.

I was silent for a few minutes until a new idea popped into my mind, and I grinned inwardly.

“I’m sorry, Nathan,” I said sweetly, “but I have a date tonight,” I told him.

“What the fuck?” Dan’s head snapped toward me and then toward Xavier, whose jaws were clenched, and he looked like he would explode any second.

Everyone stared at me with wide eyes.

“Who?” Dan narrowed his eyes.

“Oliver.” I smiled sweetly at Oliver.

“What?!” Oliver jumped up a little from his seat.

“It’s okay, Oliver. Asher and Dan are fine with it,” I said and turned to Dan with the same look I always used to give him when I wanted to say, “Play along.”

“But I—”

I cut off Oliver before he could say anything. “I’ll wear a sexy dress, like you asked me to.” I winked. He gaped at me.

“As long as you don’t hurt her, we’re okay,” Dan said. Asher looked lost in this whole conversation.

“Excuse me. We need to discuss an urgent matter.” Xavier stood and grabbed Oliver’s arm. Tightly.

“Bro, listen—” he tried to say, but Xavier glared at him and dragged him along with him.

“What the fuck was that?” Dan whispered.

I winked. “You’ll see.”

Ten minutes later, I was still playing with my forks. Xavier and Oliver came and took their seats.

I had to fight back laughter when I saw Oliver with a black eye and busted lips. “I’m not sorry.” I shrugged and took another sip of red wine.

Oliver glared at me. “He didn’t fucking give me a chance to tell him,” Oliver hissed.

I only just grinned and turned to Nathan. “I’m free tonight if you still want…?” I deliberately trailed off.

He shook his head and scooted away. “I forgot I have to be somewhere tonight.”

“Okay.” I shrugged and looked at Dan, who was just laughing, shaking his head. Mia and Sandy grinned.

“You seem like your old self. I haven’t seen her in years,” Mia said. We shared a laugh as Oliver only scowled at me.

I saw Xavier’s lips twitch, and his eyes were alight with something I couldn’t make out. We hadn’t talked after that day.

We’d all go out together, and I was thankful because he was giving me the space I needed.

My chest was already constricting with the recollection of how we used to be. We had been like magnets and metal that couldn’t stay apart for a second.

We’d constantly needed to feel each other, whether it was holding hands or he was caressing my thigh under the table.

But there was still something between us, and it had grown, even with the lack of contact.

For two days, we hadn’t talked; we hadn’t interacted on any level, but whenever our eyes met, they’d spoken. They’d spoken aloud.

An ache began to throb in my chest, and I resisted the urge to rub it.

I looked up to find him starting at me. His eyes trailed slowly down my body. Even though I was fully clothed, he looked at me with unmistakable hunger in his eyes.

My nipples betrayed me, hardening beneath my thin top. I shouldn’t have been turned on, but I fucking was.

Suddenly disgusted by myself, I looked away, breaking every connection. I had to get away from him. I had to collect myself. Standing, I grabbed my purse. “Excuse me.”

I headed directly to the washroom after getting directions from the hostess. I grabbed the handle of the ladies’ room and pushed the door open.

I walked to the sink, dropped my hands onto the cool tile, and let out the longest, hardest breath.

Whenever I was near him like that, I couldn’t think straight. I could only feel. And I felt too many emotions that could have been dangerous for my already broken heart.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I took it out and unlocked it. It was Xavier.

“You all right?”

I didn’t reply. I washed my face with cold water. Seconds later, I heard the door opening and closing, and the air charged around me. Without looking, I knew who it was.

“How long are you going to fight the connection between us?” he asked.

I didn’t reply. I didn’t open my eyes either, because it all felt like déjà vu. Me in the washroom with him.

I shook my head, dying for the touch of his hands, anything, a little caress from him to soothe my aching soul.

“I know it’s a little late to ask, but can you at least forgive me if you don’t want to give me another chance to prove I still love you?” His raspy voice came from right behind me.

“I already have, Xavier.” I opened my eyes and stared at him in the mirror. I was stunned by the agony etched on his face, the pain pouring from him.

My heart shattered at my feet when I saw the depth of the pain.

I looked away before he could see the tears in my eyes. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear them enough so that I could look at his face.

He raked his hand through his hair, shaking his head slowly. “Did I lose you for good?” I saw the pain etched across his features.

“I know I said I would give you time, and I will. Know that I’ll wait until the time comes when you realize that there’s no one else in this world who means more to me than you do.

“I will wait until you realize we do belong together, and I will wait until I prove it to you. No one will love you with all their heart more than I do.” His features twisted with longing.

“But if you want, we can start slow. I won’t touch you. I won’t kiss you, even when I’m dying for a single taste.” I didn’t miss his double entendre.

I blinked, trying to clear the tears from my eyes, and turned. My breasts almost touched his chest. I looked up and sighed. “It wouldn’t work, Xavier.”

I closed my eyes, trying to find the strength to tell him how I felt.

“Long-distance relationships never work, and I will not leave everything I have worked my ass off for,” I said. I wasn’t going to tell him I was moving to L.A.

“I’ll move to Sydney,” he announced without missing a beat. Like he knew I would say something like that.

My teeth sank into my bottom lip at his declaration. I gaped at him. “You are kidding?”

He shook his head and cupped my face with his hands. “I can move to the moon for you, sweetheart,” he whispered, leaning until his forehead was against mine.

“We can’t change our past, but we can rewrite our future together, but only if you want, baby. Only if you want…,” he said, his voice overcome with emotion.

~Our future.~

~

~Him and me.~

~

~Together.~

~

I didn’t reply for a long second. He stepped back, placing his hands in his pockets, and he asked, “Will you go out with me tonight?” I watched as his pupils dilated.

I shook my head, unable to speak with the lump in my throat. He was ready to leave everything for me? Everything he’d worked for, his name, his fame in New York?

I could see the tiniest bit of hurt in his face. “Just dinner.” I could see the pleading in his eyes.

Tears formed in my eyes, and this time I couldn’t hold them back. “I don’t want to go through another heartbreak, Xavier.” My words came out in barely a whisper.

Xavier looked at me, and I noticed the anguish behind his eyes. “Trust me one last time; take one last gamble on me,” he whispered, wiping my eyes.

My heart seized in my chest as I thought about his offer. I licked my lips, attempting to bring some moisture back to my dry mouth.

“It’s not a date,” I said, finally. I’d go out, just for him, but that didn’t mean I was ready for anything else.

He pushed out a relieved breath, and his lips twitched. “It’s not a date,” he repeated, and if I hadn’t known Xavier so well, I would have missed how his lips twitched.

He dipped, and my breath caught in my throat, as I thought he was going to kiss me.

But he placed a kiss on my cheek and whispered, “No need to wear anything sexy. Just wear what you are comfortable with.” A shiver ran down my spine.

He chuckled, knowing my body responded to his closeness.

“Eight o’clock. Be ready. I’ll pick you up from your room,” he said as he turned to leave, but he stopped and turned back. “Thank you,” he said and stepped out.

My phone rang, and I glanced down at it to see a message from Mia.

Mia

You okay?

Mel

Yup will be there in a min.

I hit send.

Five minutes later, I joined them and dug into the lasagna I’d ordered. For the whole time, the smile never left his face. He kept grinning like a nut.

My heart soared, seeing him happy, but at the same time, I felt a crack in the wall I’d built around myself to protect my heart. It was breaking; it was crumbling the more I looked at him.

Dan, Mia, Asher, Sandy, Rick, and Jacob kept looking back and forth between Xavier and me. They knew something had happened, but they were not sure what.

I knew we were going to have a long talk once we were back at our hotel. Especially Dan. I saw the way his jaw was clenched and his posture was stiff.

***

“So?” Mia raised her brows. “And don’t you dare say nothing happened.” She narrowed her eyes.

I rested my head on her lap and sighed. “He asked me out for dinner.”

“And you said yes; that’s why he couldn’t stop smiling,” she guessed.

I nodded. “But I told him it’s not a date.”

“Hon, when two singles go out and spend time together, it’s called a date.”

I shook my head. “It’s not.”

“Are you ready? I mean, it’s your life, babe. If you think you can move on, leaving everything behind, then we’re not anyone to say anything. Not even Dan. We just want you to be happy.”

She stroked my hair with her fingers.

I sighed, closing my eyes. “It’s not easy, Mia, and don’t forget it’s been only a month since I broke up with Matt. It’s too soon.”

“Maybe fate has other plans for you,” she said with a smile. “And I know nothing is easy. You remember when Jacob and I broke up?” I nodded.

“It was you who told me life is too short to hold a grudge. You convinced me to give him another chance.” A tear leaked from the corner of my eye, and I nodded.

“Do you still feel the same about him?”

I thought about lying for a second before I nodded. “Am I crazy for falling for a man after such a short time?” I asked.

I still couldn’t believe I’d fallen for him in only two nights and had spent a year dreaming about him.

“The heart wants what the heart wants, Mel,” she smiled softly. “And if you still love him, then it’s worth it. Take a chance. Who knows? Maybe it’s time for your happily ever after.”

She smirked as she looked at me with dreamy eyes. “Remember how much you dreamed about getting married to Prince Charming?”

I snorted. “I was an idiot.” My dreams when I was a teenager had always consisted of meeting my prince and getting married. I shook my head at my silliness.

“No. You were a dreamer, and it’s time to make your dream come true.”

I shook my head again. “Mia,” I sighed.

“Don’t overthink, Mel. Just go with the flow. Are you worried about Mila?”

I nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before saying, “He left me before for Mila; he can do that again. What if I give him a chance, and she doesn’t want me in his life?”

I stopped and sat up straight, facing Mia. “I say that I have nothing to lose, but I have too much to lose, Mia. He will leave me again for his daughter.”

“I don’t want to say it, Mel, but you would have done the same for Owen. You would have chosen Owen above Xavier.”

I nodded because she was right. I would have chosen Owen above everything, but only if there were no other way.

“Do you really think I should give him another chance?”

~Am I even ready for that?~

~

~Am I ready to trust him a second time?~

~

She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her dark eyes.

“I’m not gonna lie, Mel. I hate him for hurting you. But if even after all those years, you still love him, then give it one shot to see where it leads you instead of thinking what if.”

My brain was computing the words she was saying.

I began to tear up again and wrapped my arms around her. “I love you,” I whispered.

“Umm… I’m not into girls, Mel,” her comment made us both burst out in laughter. It had been far too long since I’d had a good belly laugh like that.

“Such a shame. If you were, we would have been the best couple,” I whispered and laughed.