Chapter 85: Healing The 85

*CAHIR Finished ‘Shouldn’t we give her more time?‘ Perseus paced as I stormed into the office. ‘She said she’d tell us when she’s ready.

“I don’t have that patience. Who knew when she would be ready to tell the truth?

Yeah, but she seems terrified, Perseus muttered.

Yes, and that was the reason I had to find the cause of all this as soon as possible. I had to determine the severity of what was happening so I could decide what to do before things got out of hand.

I’d never been this stressed out in my life. The first few weeks after I took over the Alpha Blood pack were terrible and I didn’t think I’d ever be that stressed again, but I was wrong. Watching Sihana depreciate before my eyes filled me with a kind of dread that I couldn’t explain. It felt as if she would disappear right before my eyes and I would never be able to find her. Her keeping secrets didn’t help the issue but she almost destroyed my heart when she snuck out of the house. I called my new head of security.

“Alpha,” he greeted respectfully.

As of this second, every guard on shift in the Alpha Castle this morning no longer has a job. They’ll tell me how one woman snuck past them in and out of the Alpha Castle. Change the guards.

Double – no. triple the security around my mate. If I have to look for her again, you would lose more than your job.”

“Y–Yes, Alpha.” I ended the call with a curse.

“Sihana Asena, you won’t be the death of me.”

When did this happen? How did I become so attached to her that the thought of losing her for even a second filled me with so much dread, I wanted to howl If anything happens to Sihana-

“I’d be done for,” I muttered to myself.

If I lost Sihana, all that I worked for the control I was hell–bent on maintaining, all would be lost.

When did it become impossible for me to live without her?

I picked up my phone again and called Aristo. She’d smelt like drugs earlier so I had a clue where she may have been.

“Hey, bud,” my Beta’s cherry tone sounded from across the line. “What’s up?”

“Come to my office,” I snapped, annoyed that someone sounded so happy when I felt so down.

“Aye aye, captain.” I heard his chuckle as he ended the call.

I drummed my fingers on my desk while I waited for Aristo. There was a pile of work waiting for me from all the time I spent watching my mate in the hospital, but none of them concerned me at this point or well, none of them could keep my attention.

Aristo sauntered in with a grin on his lips but I’d known this man for over ten years so I knew he was worried.

“It could be the drugs from the hospital?” Aristo suggested but I shook my head. She’d refused to take those drugs the previous night and this morning for reasons she didn’t disclose so I knew it wasn’t that “I also want to know what she bought. That’s the most important part,” 1 added.

“Thankfully, there’s only one pharmacy around here but for what she bought.” He had a dubious expression. “I’m not sure they’d be able to disclose that “You’ll make them,” I growled. Aristo flinched but nodded.

“I–ah – I’ll visit them.” He exited my office after that brief conversation.

They wouldn’t disclose what a customer purchased in a pharmacy but Aristo was a master at throwing his weight about. I didn’t care who got threatened or if anything worse happened as long as I got the information eded.

I powered on my computer and tried to work. The words swam before my eyes but none of them made sense. After an hour of trying to focus on work, I called home.

“How is she?” Laura picked up on the first ring and I bombarded her with questions. “Did she “She’s still asleep,” Laura answered. “I’ll have the kitchen prepare what she likes before she wakes up.

“Ha–Alright.” I scrubbed a hand down my face before ending the call.

Another hour passed with me staring at my laptop screen. I itched to call Aristo or Laura but I held myself back. It was important I learnt to control myself – My phone rang and I almost jumped out of my skin as I rushed to pick it up.

“Cahir Armani.” I barked into the phone without checking the caller’s name.

“Uh – It was Aristo sounding breathless. “So I pulled some strings – you know He sounded awkward. “Ah, it wasn’t easy but um ”

“Can you get to the point?” I hissed at him.

“So – uh – only two people have been to the pharmacy today and -ah–only one woman who purchased pregnancy tests.”

It felt as if a bucket of ice–cold water had been dumped on me. Pregnancy tests? Could it -was it possible? How in the “Are you there?” Aristo’s voice was fast fading from my consciousness.

My head felt submerged under water. My chest tightened and my heart pounded loudly in my ear.

Pregnancy tests could only mean one thing –

“Breathe, man!” Aristo yelled on the line. The phone almost fell from my grip when I heard him shout. “What the hell is happening?”

“I–I’ll call you back.” I ended the call and threw the phone.

My hands worked to unbutton my shirt and I hit my fist against my stuttering heart. It didn’t work right. I couldn’t explain it but I felt as if I was drowning and my heart had turned to rock. My body became too heavy. Sweat poured down my face out of nowhere, stinging my eyes.

a father?

Pregnancy- that would mean there was a baby – a child – I’d be a – a Finished “Calm down,’ Perseus urged me but it was casier said than done. How could I calm Shit! I’d never what would I do with a child? How would I raise a child? People like me weren’t meant to have kids!

Holy fucking-

“Why the hell can’t you have kids?‘ Perseus growled. ‘We’re not sterile!‘

–

No, no it wasn’t my heart felt too tight, my body too heavy and my head too light. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. How could I have a child – a kid? It was I’d be an awful father!

‘Says who?‘ Perseus cut into my thoughts. “How do you know that? Have you been a father before?‘

“Perseus- do you realize – do you know who I am?” I was the ruthless alpha, the one they called the devil.. I’d taken lives with these hands. I stared at them, watched as my hands trembled. These hands were for killing, not not for holding children.

“I fucked up.” My hands found their way into my hair. I fucked up real bad.”

“That’s not an appropriate reaction to fatherhood, Perseus chimed in.

“I fucking know that!” I exclaimed out loud. The voices in my head – they were getting louder, telling me to do things I could feel my control slipping – but I couldn’t let them take over me.

“It’s no wonder she’s hiding it. She’s scared you’ll react like this!”

“Shut up. Just keep quiet, Perseus. I had to think but about what?

Maybe the tests were negative? I could hope but She’d been touching her stomach since she saw the high priestess.

“That’s it!” I exclaimed. That’s the information she got from the high priestess that made her secretive. “Ah, I fucked up.” Did she already know she was pregnant when she asked me about kids? “Cahir Armani, you are the worst.” I already rejected the child even without knowing.

I didn’t want kids. It would be better if I died without leaving behind a legacy so people slowly forgot about me and all the evil I’d wrought but now – I didn’t want kids but a baby with Sihana – it wasn’t – would I be so bad a father?

o First things first, I had to talk to my mate.

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