Chapter 90: Healing The 90

*CAHIR Finished “Sooo –“Aristo drawled as I tapped away on my computer. “I you’re ” tell you can’t even see what typing.” I swiped the computer off the desk with red eyes. My Beta caught it before it hit the ground. “What’s up with you, man?” He asked, setting the computer back on the table. I glared at it as if it was the source of all my problems.

“She’s pregnant,” I blurted out.

“Yeah, I kind of figured that out myself but it doesn’t explain why you have been cranky the past week. What’s wrong with her being pregnant?” My beta asked, What’s wrong with her being pregnant, you ask? For one, the child was slowly draining her life force. Secondly, what good could a child with my blood bring Thirdly, she was not speaking to me because of said child.

My mate and I had been together for a little over three months now. We just started building our relationship. Things finally started going well and for the first time in my life, I loved someone.

It is possible I may have loved my parents, that I may have had friends in my home pack before Alpha Boston invaded with the Alpha Blood army, but I didn’t remember them. Years in the torture chambers made my early life nothing more than a blurry memory. I couldn’t remember ever loving anyone even myself.

–

not How was I supposed to be a father while being half–rogue? What if the child turned out to be a rogue? Rogues never had kids as their instincts were geared towards blood rather than sex, but the few that did had produced insane pups, the toxins in their blood that drove them to bloodlust seeping into their offspring. If the child really was kissed by the goddess, effectively inheriting an uninheritable trait, who’s to say it wouldn’t also inherit my half–madness?

My lineage should end with me. It was the plan I had even before I took over Alpha Blood pack. I did too many things, and committed too many atrocities, I believed my blood may have become cursed. I wouldn’t be surprised seeing as at one point, several women trooped out naked to curse me for killing their sons.

I wasn’t a good person. Nothing about me would make a good father. Sharing and caring were not a part of my dictionary and having to share my mate with this child it irked my wolf. Besides, said child was killing her.

“You love me even if you didn’t think you were capable of love in the first place. Maybe it will be the same with our baby.

Sihana had spoken with such conviction in her tone that I wanted to believe her. She had so much optimism and believed in me so much, but the truth was that even if she had healing abilities, I was past the point of redemption. Only damnation awaited me and I would embrace that damnation with open arms knowing I deserved the fate awaiting me.

“Do you want kids, Aristo?” I asked my beta, shifting the subject away from me.

“Of course,” he replied almost on reflex.

I didn’t expect him to understand me so well. Aristo had been in Alpha Blood longer, a child whose pack had been razed to the around and his family unmoted and moved here. We weren’t from the same nack Finished years before but for the last ten years, he’d been my companion. He came into the torture chambers a few I broke out, a skinny teenage boy who had defiled the daughter of an important man, and then dumped her. Said girl almost jumped from a bridge, a fifteen–year–old experiencing her first heartbreak.

His punishments had been mild compared to mine and he bore them like a champ. I had no recollection of how we became friends but when I broke out of my cell, he asked me to break him out too. For that, he swore loyalty to me and followed me. He’d become one of mine in a short time and I didn’t know how but Aristo had a way of worming into people’s lives and camping there.

leasa “What do you need kids for?” I demanded of my beta. “Don’t you have enough work on your plate beta?” I didn’t intend to sound harsh but I did and I had no time to feel regret.

“One day, , I’ll meet a woman that loves me,” he started with a wistful expression. “She’ll be beautiful, curvy, and have eyes for only me, no one else. When this happens, I’ll want a daughter that looks like her. I’d want to build a family with her, and have a home filled with laughter. She’d be mine, mine alone.” His wistful expression changed to something cold but his expression turned neutral in a second.

“You spend time dreaming silly dreams instead of working.” Awkwardness filled the room after his confession a skirt so ver knew my beta had such ideas for his future. He was a man that liked to fuck everything I assumed even if he found his mate, he would still want to chase skirts for a little while longer before settling down. The way he spoke, however, made it clear that he was ready to put his days of fucking random women behind him. Did my mating have to do with his sudden thirst for a mate of his own?

In my earlier days of conquering. Aristo had fought with me during the day and dragged me off to all sorts of lascivious places at night. For months, I whored alongside him but unlike him, I derived little pleasure in it, with my mind focused on gutting Alpha Boston. Did the loss of his wingman to the mating bond spark something inside him?

“You don’t know what you have, Cahir Armani,” he said with a bitter smile that unsettled Perseus.

“What does that mean?” I asked in a low voice.

“You have everything I want,” he grumbled, putting his hands behind his head as he leaned back.

“Careful,” my voice went cold, “else, I may think you are coveting what’s mine.”

“No, no!” His eyes widened. “It’s nothing like that. Just – Just that I want a mate. You didn’t even want a mate but you found your mate. You don’t want a child but you’re expecting a child while me – I want all these things but I don’t even know where to start.” He sounded wretched. My skin prickled at his red- rimmed eyes.

“If you didn’t whore around so much-

“I’m now celibate. I haven’t been with anyone after the pharmacist,” he blurted out.

“What?” My eyes widened. “Was sex with her so bad that you gave up sex altogether?” That was the most plausible excuse for him suddenly quitting his whoring. The pharmacist was a week ago but Aristo had at least two different women in his bed each day and now he’d been celibate for as long as a week?

“No.” He chuckled. “It’s just it lost its appeal. I want more, you know? More than a warm body and a few moans here and there. I want so much more – love, stability, a family. So much more. His expression. turned wistful again.

Finished “When did you start wanting these things? You’re only twenty–five.” His problem distracted me from my problem and it was a welcome distraction.

“I’m not young, man. My father had me at twenty so I’m five years behind. I’ve wanted them for a while now, to be honest. It’s just seeing my best bud have all these things makes me even more desperate. That’s why I say you don’t know what you have ‘cuz it’s exactly what I want but don’t have. I want to drive my woman to the hospital and watch our baby move inside her belly. I want to go baby shopping with her. pick out names with her, hold her hair when “Alright, I get your point.” I cut him off. “You want a family, yes, I know.” The words fell from my lips with a st a snarl.

Why did he make me feel worse than even Sihana? Was I taking the things I had for granted?

“But the kid is supposedly kissed by the goddess. It’s why her pregnancy is so hard and I hate – I hate friend. seeing her looking so emaciated, I admitted to my -Were you going to say you hate the baby, Cahir?” Aristo asked with wide eyes. “Cahir that’s not – I frowned. ver mentioned hating the kid.

“No, I can’t hate Sihana’s baby but I – I’m feeling raw and helpless again, something I haven’t felt in over five years.” I sighed.

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