Chapter 91: Healing The 92

Sihana’s POV OM–72%面 +5 Pears 1 at night, sleep eluded me. I tossed and turned in bed, yawning and rubbing my eyes but I still couldn’t sleep. I counted sheep, blinked my eyes many times but it was already past midnight yet no sleep. My body was tired but my mind refused to shut down.

I was reaching for my phone to pass time when the door creaked open and my mate came in. He paused when he saw me stretching my hand to the bedside table.

“You’re awake,” he muttered in surprise.

“And you’re here,” I answered without a shred of warmth in my tone.

“Did you stay up to wait for me?” He asked as he walked towards the bed. I cut him a sharp glare as he got closer.

“Why would I?” I knew that he got home late at night and most times he left before I woke up but after the first night of trying and failing to stay up to wait for him, I no longer bothered myself to wait.

It was clear that he was avoiding me.

“Why are you still awake then?” He asked. “Couldn’t sleep?” A tinge of concern warmed his tone.

“Do you care?” I found myself snarling and my eyes watering.

Uggh.

I cried a lot these days, thanks to the pregnancy hormones. The other day, Irene brought me melon sherbet and I cried as I dug into it and I cried harder when halfway into my sherbet, my stomach decided it didn’t want sherbet after all “I care about you.” Cahir sat beside me, his hand reaching out to caress my face. “Why are you awake, Sla?” His tone was soft but I detected a bit of tiredness.

He’d overworked himself for the past week just to get away from me and the child he didn’t want.

“I’m awake because of you,” I muttered, abandoning my phone.

“I thought you said you weren’t awake because of me?” I heard the smile in his tone but tiredness.

overshadowed it.

“No, I’m not waiting up for you. I’m thinking of you may be the same thing to him so I was quick to add. “Aristo came to see me today.” He sighed as I spoke.

“He said something silly, didn’t he?” My mate nuzzled his nose into my neck and although I felt angry and scared about all this, I couldn’t deny how right and soothing it was to have close contact with him.

“No, he only reminded me that you tend to get rid of things you don’t like.” He froze against me.

“And you don’t like my baby.”

“That bastard!” He snarled, almost jumping to his feet. grabbed him before he did something silly like hunt down his beta at this time of the night.

“It’s not He pushed his hand into his hair. “That’s not the same thing”

04.72%會 +5.Pearls There were so many emotion’s swirling in my heart. From hurt to apprehension and then anger. I felt so many things and it was time to talk about them.

If I said I was getting rid of the child, how would you feel?” I asked in a quiet tone, running my through his hair as he buried his face in my neck again. Due to our proximity, I felt him stiffen.

hand “Don’t say that,” he muttered, his words muffled against my skin. “You’re not getting rid of the baby.”

“But if I said I was, would you be happy?” I poked some more.

“1” He paused to choose his words. “No, I wouldn’t be His declaration made my eyes widen. I’d expected him to say yes, to tell me he wanted the baby gone but he didn’t? “I know you want this child, you love them already. If you even think of getting rid of the child, it would be my fault. If I make you do that, I know you would never forgive me.” I deflated.

What had I been expecting? He loved me, not the child. He was thinking of me, not our baby.

“You’re right, but you can never get me to get rid of my baby.” I caressed my flat stomach.

“ver had plans of trying.” He got off me and then climbed into bed, kicking off his shoes. He lay beside me, his hand brushing against mine as he stared at the ceiling with his hands propped behind his head. “I didn’t There’s a lot I don’t know about you,” he muttered in the dark room.

“When we first mated, I regretted it the very next morning,” I confessed.

“I know.” Bitterness tightened his tone.

“Then Laura called me aside one day and told me to try- she wanted me to put in the effort to make things work with you.” He hummed in surprise but I kept going. “At first, I didn’t want to try. You proved too difficult to handle, too cruel, always brushing me aside and making me feel inferior. This time, I was the one who sounded bitter.

“I am sorry. All these they’re all new to me.” He took my hand and laced our fingers.

–

“I didn’t like you and there was no reason to try with you. I felt I’d jumped from the frying pan to the fire by accepting your mark and I felt stifled, caged. In Silver Moon, I planned to run away and go live amongs humans but I gave up that dream to come here and be with you and I regretted it the next morning.” I laughed at myself, at how easily I let my wolf sway my emotions to give up a life of freedom for Cahir.

“In that pack, there was hope that I could be free one day but then I mated with you and I knew that was out of the question. We were joined for life and I could never escape you no matter how you treated me.”

“How do you still feel like – have I trapped you, Sihana?” His voice went lower, quieter.

–

“No. I am not a child. I am responsible for my decisions and I chose you. I regretted it at first but then Manz Island happened and the regret evaporated. You were so ferocious, so scary, but you were mine and that vacation – it was when I started to fall.” I grinned and then sighed. “Yes, it was that easy. I’ve always fought alone but you came that day and you fought for me. I’d never had that kind of intimacy with anyone before, never had anyone show me even the tiniest bit of affection so when you treated me so well on that island, I felt myself slip into free fall.”

“Sihana.” He almost crushed my fingers as his grip on my hand tightened but I didn’t want to be interrupted.

현씨 72%월 +5 Pears “Then we came back to this pack and it felt like our honeymoon was over and I’d have to suffer through your indifference again – Don’t crush my linger.” I pulled my hand from his. “I didn’t want that. My wolf- she may be an omega but you’re hers. There was no letting you go so I chose to fight for you. I shouldn’t have to but someone had to put in the work. You don’t communicate well and neither do I but I made it y duty to bridge the gap between us. During that time, it occurred to me that I could lose you to bloodlust and it became my first enemy – my new priority making sure ver lost you to bloodlust.”

“You’re not losing me,” he reassured me but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like I was losing him and there was nothing I could do. I’d vowed to make our relationship work, to make sure never to move when he pushed me aside but this – there was nothing I could do here.

“Things were going fine, I was falling deeper in love with you but then this pregnancy happened.” I laughed without a shred of humour. “Yes, I love this child and it hurts me that you can’t love them. I can feel a wedge between us and there’s nothing even if I try, and I’m too tired to, I know I can’t make you love this baby.”

“They They aren’t even here yet, belle. I’m incapable of love. You’re a miracle and I don’t – He trailed off then sighed, pushing up to a sitting position. “I am scared shitless of this development. I won’t make a good father.”