CHAPTER THIRTEEN: THE PAST WAS IN THE PAST
June 6th, 2020
That next morning, Gemma woke up feeling violently hungover. Though despite feeling hungover and having little memory of the night before, she couldn't shake a sudden feeling of familiarity and comfort that radiated throughout her hungover body.
As she opened her eyes further, she noticed Marcie sitting awake on the floor, who was brushing her hair and applying makeup. Gemma sat up in her childhood bed, immediately regretting it as her head started to pound. Marcie noticed a hurting Gemma in the corner of her eye.
"Morning, how are you feeling?" Marcie asked. She knew damn well that Gemma was likely very hungover from the mixed drinks she consumed only twelve hours before.
"Like shit. Did I black out last night? I don't remember a thing."
"Something like that..." Marcie shrugged. She wondered if she should tell Gemma what happened, or if her hungover friend would piece together the night as the day went on while her hangover healed.
"I just remember going to that party... But the rest is a blur," Gemma croaked as she let her head hit the pillow again. She had no intentions of getting up from bed anytime soon; she was glad she did not have to work at Target today.
Marcie nodded. She looked away from hungover Gemma, while she continued to ready herself for her shift at Dunkin. Marcie figured she would tell Gemma the beginning of the night, to see if her hungover friend would be able to piece the rest of the story together on her own. After all, Marcie wasn't sure what went on after she and Olivia had left the room. That was something only Gemma and Rowan knew. And although Marcie was sure nothing happened, and that Rowan only comforted a panicked Gemma, that was the part of the night that Gems would have to remember without the help of anyone else.
"Some girl made a bunch of mixed drinks," Marcie began. "But some of the drinks were mixed with drugs.. not different types of alcohol."
"Holy shit," Gemma gulped. She shut her eyes tight, as the dream-like memories began to replay in her head like a fever dream.
The party. Her panic attack. Marcie and Olivia not knowing what to do. Rowan. Rowan sitting in Gemma's bed. Rowan and Gemma playing twenty-six questions. Gemma finding out how Rowan and Avery met, and how the hell they ended up where they were today. Rowan comforting Gemma. Gemma holding Rowan's hand.
Gemma thought that was all a dream. When she first awoke only minutes ago, she thought the feeling of familiarity and comfort was only from a dream she had of her ex. She didn't actually think he was here, comforting her again, in a time of need similar to what happened to her years ago.
"Rowan was here," Gemma gulped, suddenly feeling... guilty? for spending time with him when he was soon to be married. Not that Gemma gave a shit about Avery's feelings, but something about him comforting her, when no one else was in the room, and the fact that she held his hand -- seemed wrong to her.
"Yeah," Marcie confirmed Gemma's suspicions.
"How the hell did you convince him to come here?" Gemma asked. Her mind was full of questions at the moment.
"Liv begged. He kept saying no but finally gave in."
"Well shit," Gemma nervously laughed. "All the memories are flooding back to me,"
"How do you feel?" Marcie asked, genuinely curious. After all, this was the first time Gemma and Rowan spent some sort of time together in years, despite Gemma being severely under the influence. "Since you remember everything?"
"Okay... I guess." She admitted. "I still feel weird about Rowan and Avery being together, because it just doesn't make sense to me. But obviously I'm fully over him, and last night gave me some kind of closure, I guess."
Marcie's interested peaked, as she heard Avery's voice from downstairs. Before Gemma woke up, Marcie sat in the dining room eating a bowl of cheerios before her afternoon shift at Dunkin. Before she had the chance to finish eating, in walked Avery, with a bunch of folders and binders in her small hands -- which Marcie assumed was some type of wedding planning. Awkwardly sitting at the table, Marcie listened to Gayle and Avery discuss wedding stuff. She almost choked on her cheerios when Avery said "I'm going to ask again if Gemma will be a bridesmaid."
"Would you say it was enough closure to finally be involved in the wedding?" Marcie asked, treading on her words carefully.
Shockingly, as Rowan and Gemma's conversation replayed throughout her hungover head a hundred times, Gemma did not feel as strong of disgust towards her former friend as she did before. Though she still found it strange that her ex boyfriend and ex best friend ended up together in the first place, Gemma convinced herself that she was fully over Rowan, and that maybe, they could rekindle some of that lost time and attempt to be friends. But the only way to do that, she thought, was to somehow involve herself in this wedding.
"Fuck, I don't know." Gemma chose her words carefully, not knowing exactly how to put this. "Being with Rowan last night made me realize how much I missed his presence in my life, so fuck. I don't know Marcie, maybe I should just say fuck it and be a bridesmaid? Is that weird?"
"Yes and no," Marcie laughed as she changed into her dark blue Dunkin shirt. "Weird because you and Avery are not friends, but not weird because you and Rowan are kind of friends? I say go for it, if you're okay with spending time with Avery. Hate to say it, but maybe she actually is not as bad as she used to be."
"I find that hard to believe," Gemma sighed. She hated to admit it, but in the few run-ins she had with her former friend, she did seem genuine. Gemma just did not want to believe that Avery, who once destroyed Gemma after their friend-breakup, could actually be redeemable and not a terrible person like Gemma once believed her to be. "But maybe it's possible."
"Well," Marcie spoke fast as she had to leave in only a few minutes. "Avery is here right now. Maybe you should work this out. Even though it's still kind of weird, this whole wedding thing might be fun! I'll totally help you throughout the whole thing, I've been a bridesmaid in plenty of family weddings before!"
Gemma nodded. She didn't want to think of all the wedding specifics right then and there, but appreciated her best friend's excitement anyway. All she wanted to focus on was if she was going to do this, because once she said yes, Gemma knew she wouldn't be able to back out.
-
Gemma stayed in bed for another hour before finally making up her mind. She forced herself out of bed, instantly feeling nervous as Avery's loud voice echoed throughout the first floor of Gemma's childhood home. She tried to hide her presence, but the creakiness of the steps revealed that someone was making their way down the stairs.
"Gemma?" Gayle called. "Is that you?"
"Yeah," Gemma cleared her throat. She definitely needed some water.
She made her presence known in the dining room, where Avery and Gayle were sitting in front of an opened binder with notes upon notes inside of it.
"Would you like some coffee, Gemma? Looks like you need it." Gayle laughed lightly as she took in her daughter's appearance. In that moment, Gemma realized she probably should have made herself look more presentable, considering she was wearing an oversized tee shirt that she couldn't remember changing into, and a pair of shorts that barely covered her ass. Her hair was a knotted mess, given she had not brushed it since before the party.
"Uh, sure." Gemma attempted to smile through her embarrassment.
Gayle excused herself from the table to make a fresh pot of coffee and as soon as she was gone, Gemma inhaled and exhaled slowly. She forced herself to sit at the table across from Avery, knowing there was no going back now.
"Hungover?" Avery laughed, in a non-judgmental way, at Gemma's appearance.
"Something like that," Gemma used Marcie's words from before.
"Hangovers can be a good thing," Avery broke eye contact with Gemma as she started skimming through the binder in front of her. "Shows you had a lot of fun."
"I guess," Gemma shrugged. It felt weird, talking with Avery. This was the first real, genuine conversation the two have had since Gemma's return to Michigan.
"So I wanted to ask you again - " Avery did not hesitate before getting straight to the point. "If you're interested in being a bridesmaid, since I'm one short. I figured you might need some time to think about it."
Gemma gulped before answering. There was honestly no reason for her to refuse, at this point. Gemma got some sort of closure with Rowan, to the point where she felt comfortable with being in his life again, in one way or another. Gemma convinced herself that she was okay with this, since she was fully over Rowan. She wasn't sure if she would ever fully understand Rowan and Avery's relationship -- but she accepted it.
"Yeah," Gemma closed her eyes and nodded. "I'll be your bridesmaid."
As soon as the words left her mouth, Avery squealed, and a sudden thought appeared in Gemma's mind, making her instantly rethink her decision.
Did Avery even truly know that Gemma was Rowan's ex?
The thought lingered throughout Gemma's mind as Avery hugged her tightly, telling her how excited she was to have her oldest friend in her wedding. Gemma tried not to scoff as Avery said this, since she knew damn well that their friendship ended because of Avery. It was too late to backtrack now, though Gemma wished this thought would have crossed her mind before she said yes. From a previous conversation with Rowan, before getting any closure -- Gemma knew that Rowan told his fiancée that the two were just friends from college. Though with the way Gemma ran from Rowan that day at Clementine's, she wondered how Avery did not notice that Gemma had some sort of past with Rowan, and if she saw through his lie.
Although, the other part of Gemma felt as if this major detail did not matter, because the past was in the past. What Avery didn't know would not hurt her, Gemma tried to convince herself.
"Okay, so here's what we need to do," Avery spoke rapidly as she quickly closed her wedding planning binder. "You need to meet my other bridesmaid and my maid of honor. Are you free next weekend?"
"I'll have to check my schedule - "
"Well get the night off, at least," Avery demanded. "We'll have a weekend trip with the bridal party and groomsmen! It'll be the perfect opportunity for you to get to know everyone!"
A weekend away with Rowan and Avery? Gemma was starting to wonder if saying yes to being apart of the wedding was really a good idea after all. Or, it could have just been the nerves she had been feeling lately from her past practically punching her in the face, by introducing both Rowan and Avery back into her life.
"Could Marcie come?" Gemma asked, hoping the answer would be yes. Even though Marcie was not apart of the wedding party, she knew she wouldn't be able to do this without her best friend by her side.
"Hmm," Avery pondered for a moment. "It's not typical for an outsider of the wedding party to attend these things but sure, why not! The more people the better!"
Gemma nodded, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders.
Now she just hoped that Marcie was off work that weekend.
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