"Elizabeth, I am telling you, something is simply not right at that school." I insisted, pacing back and forth across the bedroom, as I had been doing for near an hour now.
My sister was hardly paying me any notice. She had been trying to decide on whether or not she wanted her hair partially down or not for a very long time now, and she was fussing over a pile of papers and books in front of her. She sent me an exasperated glare. "Amelia, I do not have the time for your conspiracy theories! I must memorize these poems, and then review those Shakespearian verses..."
Just as she had been for the past several days, my sister set her focus back on the studies before her. I ran a hand over my face, irritated that nobody was taking me seriously, and flopped back on to my bed. "This is more important than poetry, Elizabeth! Why must you read all that anyway?"
My sister met my gaze, seeming even more annoyed than I. "Mother says it is romantic. And it is important for me to come across as romantic in a courtship. But not too romantic. I cannot explain it right now, Amelia, Count Robert will be here in a quarter of an hour!"
As I tried to make sense of that, Elizabeth turned back to her studies. I stood with a huff, deciding to go and find someone who would actually bother to listen to my concerns. My sister did not even glance in my direction as I made my way out of our bedroom.
The door I was looking for was only a few down from my own. I knocked, but was surprised when it was my best friend who opened the door rather than my brother. John stepped aside to let me in, and I frowned at him. "Why is it you keep coming to my house and not even saying hello?"
At least he had the sense to look a bit guilty. "I'm sorry, Amelia. Michael called for me in a hurry- I had to bring him metal prongs."
I shook my head at their antics, finally finding Michael. My brother was across the room, sitting on the floor near his bed with dozens of little tiny metal trinkets all around him. I walked carefully, making sure that I did not step on any small pieces as I went in case they were breakable.
I kneeled beside my brother. "What are you doing?"
Michael did not even look my way, and instead focused on jabbing a little cylinder with a pin. "We are inventing a music box."
Despite my best efforts, I laughed. "Michael, music boxes have already been invented."
My brother made a face, sticking his tongue out slightly in concentration as he very meticulously made markings on the cylinder. "A better music box. One that plays longer. Once the dimensions are established, you only have to divide by each note you plan to add, and spread the prongs accordingly. If we spread them out further, it may be able to play music longer as the gears shift. Then you assign prong by length, which also represents the note and sound it will make. A bit of easy geometry, a lot of pinpricks, and you're done."
Looking at Michael, I wondered if my expression gave away how bewildered I was. I supposed it did, because John chuckled at me, drawing my attention back to him as he sat on the ground just beside my brother, gently moving some small metal bars as he did so.
"Music boxes are just metal prongs that are plucked by little needles on the metal cylinder as it spins- and you make it spin by winding it up. So basically, if you use math to spread the needles out just right, you can maximize how long the song plays for."
I nodded, suddenly realizing that the boarding schools boys attended, and the lessons they were taught, were far different than what was taught to girls. Something that these boys- my boys- understood with ease and were so passionate about went right over my head. "Oh."
John nodded, looking just as excited as Michael, though it was my brother who went on to speak. "Imagine how amazing it would be if you could have a music box that played for several minutes- you could perform a full dance to the melody, or lull a child into a full sleep. It could become a genuine background noise rather than a decorative box that has to be wound up every thirty seconds. We'll be rich!"
Rolling my eyes at my brother, I wondered if he had forgotten the Palace he lived in and all of the lands he was set to inherit once Father passed them on. "Michael, you are already rich."
"Yes, because I was born into money," My brother said, smacking his tongue over the word as if they left a bad taste in his mouth. "I want to one day be in a place where every pence I hold is a fruit of my own labor. I want to earn it, Amelia. Truly earn it. When have I ever earned a thing in my life?"
At this, I was suddenly forced to view my brother in a new light. I had never been aware that such things bothered him. He had always seemed so excitable, so in-the-moment. Unkind words seemed slide right over him, and even in childhood, he had always bounced back with ease. Despite how close I thought we were, had I somehow missed all of this beneath the surface? How was John aware of it and I was not?
The answer was simple, I supposed- they had both gone through boy's schooling. They both understood such things and could speak passionately about them. I never could have held such a discussion with my brother, and to my embarrassment, he seemed to be aware of that. No wonder him and John had become so close- somehow, I was now the third wheel, among my very own best friend and brother.
"Well, I came to speak with you about the charity school," I said, changing the topic. I spread my skirts as I sat across from them.
While my brother kept tinkering about with needles and prongs, John met my gaze. "What of it?"
"There is something wrong with it. With the Headmaster."
Michael laughed, finally glancing back up. "Amelia, were you not the one who advocated that the teacher at my school be fired because he denied me dinner after I threw a plucked goose across the kitchen when I was twelve?"
I huffed. "Food should not be used as a punishment."
"But it is a standard punishment," He informed me, once again eyeing the cylinder in his grasp. "And one of the most painless, I should add. It is used by noble and peasant families alike."
"Something being common does not make it right," I insisted, a bit put out that he had already managed to derail my topic. "No child should ever have to go hungry as punishment."
Though Michael was trying to hide a smirk, I saw that John looked sympathetic. Just as I had, he had spent the first few years of his life on the streets before being adopted by a neighboring noble family. He knew what hunger- true hunger- felt like. He knew that the twisting, growling, burning feeling in an empty stomach could hurt far more than even a sound whipping.
Before I could take more time to convince Michael- or even to bring the conversation back to the topic at hand- Mother bustled into the room. "Michael, John, go down to the Men's Parlor and discuss business dealings and smart finance management. At once!"
The boys froze, staring up at her in confusion. Michael was the one to finally voice his bewilderment. "Mother?"
"The Earl is here, and we must continue to make a good impression!" Mother hissed, stalking forward and yanking them up. She reached for me next, pulling me to my feet. "Elizabeth has made herself memorable, so we now must convince him of the rest of the family."
As the boys obediently, if not a bit dramatically, made their way down the stairs, there was a knock at the front door. My Mother gasped and picked up her pace, despite the fact that we had servants who would open the door for us. I suddenly understood her actions, though, as she raced the Butler to the front parlor, dragging me by the arm the whole time.
"Play Aria," She hissed, plunking me down on the piano bench. I looked up at her in exasperation, but she was already hurrying towards the front door, straightening her gown.
I was not much of a pianist. But both Miss Lancing and Mother adored Bach's work, and I had put quite a lot of effort in childhood to learn to play Aria- it was Mother's favorite song, and after being adopted, much of my childhood had been spent making efforts to please my new parents.
I began the song halfway through, deciding to play along with Mother's deceptive impression of our family, and cause the Earl to think that I had been playing the piano for longer than two seconds. Too late, I realized that this may have been a mistake on my part- Aria was the only song I was truly able to play through confidently, and when I reached the end, I would either have to stop playing, or repeat the same song once more.
Mother was astute, though, and picked up on this predicament at once. Just after greeting the Earl, she led him over to me, interrupting my session. "You remember my younger daughter, of course?"
Count Robert nodded. "Of course- how do you do, Lady Amelia?"
I curtsied to him as he reached for my hand, brushing his lips across my fingers and leaving them there just a moment longer than he needed to in order to offer a proper greeting. He pulled away as formally as he had arrived, smiling at me. "Forgive the interruption- you may return to your instrument. I quite enjoy Bach."
I smiled back, unsure of what I was to do in this situation. Once again, Mother interjected. "Actually, Amelia, I do believe it is about time for you to have your tea with Charlotte."
I kept my surprise off my face as Mother informed me that Charlotte was on here way over at that very moment- I should not have been shocked, anyway. Tea was one of the few excuses women could use to get out of a gathering, and indeed Mother did not want me to be present as Elizabeth dined with the Earl. Mother's presence was bad enough when it came to the two of them building romance, but a chaperone was necessary to avoid scandal.
The Earl kissed my hand again in parting. "It's a shame you won't be dining with us."
"My apologies," I said formally, curtsying as I turned to leave. "Perhaps next time."
"Let us hope."
*************
"I don't know, Charlotte, it all just seems suspicious to me." As much as I found myself unreasonably absorbed with thoughts of Count Robert, a little crush on a man I hardly knew was not nearly enough to draw my mind off of the school. I stirred my tea before realizing I was only looking for reasons to fidget, and then put the cup and saucer down. "I know I do not truly have any proof of wrongdoing, but the Headmaster just makes me feel so..."
"So what?" Charlotte asked. She looked worried, and I had to remind myself that she was younger than I. Truly, I did not wish to cause her anxiety- she was but a child, and it was unreasonable to expect her to help me come up with a solution.
"I don't know," I finally admitted. "Just... uneasy. But Father always insists on giving warning before an inspection."
"Your Father is kind."
"Too kind." I sighed. As much as I adored my Father, I had to acknowledge his blind trust and his unending ability to see the good in people left him a bit... well, ignorant. All nobles were, I had to acknowledge. Even Charlotte. Through no fault of her own, she would never truly understand the world in the way that I did. She had only ever lived in the absurdly rich and privileged world of nobles.
I, however, had come from the lowest form of poverty. I understood that each flinch from an orphan child was caused by a hand that had once hurt them. Each word that an orphan child left unsaid was a result of them learning that they were safer unheard and unnoticed.
And the fear in little Lottie's eyes on the day I had visited that school certainly had not been caused by an extra hour of chores. Not even the standard canings that schools used should have incited such fear in her.
We spoke no more of it. I knew that Charlotte could offer no assistance- what I needed was a carriage. But Father's footman would never allow me to leave in his unescorted. Though I was now considered a debutante rather than a child, I was absolutely certain that once my attempts to sneak off alone in the carriage were reported to Mother, she would have me soundly whipped.
How much easier life was for men! Had I been either one of my brothers, I could have climbed aboard the carriage and given directions with no questions asked. An obstacle that would not have even existed for them seemed to be a dead-end for me.
Charlotte had been spending the evenings over at Susanna's house. Now that Susanna had married Thomas- they had sent word that they would be setting sail to return from their honeymoon soon- Charlotte's Mother had deemed it appropriate to send her youngest daughter, who was not yet of the age where she must spend endless time trying to court eligible men, over to keep Susanna's Mother company. With so few real problems in the world, Noble-women who's husbands were away most of the day and who's children had all married and gone off were treated with sympathy.
Nothing was worse to a noblewoman than an empty nest and lonely house. Lord knew that speaking to the servants was beneath them. Which was unfortunate, given that the servants of my household were all far more interesting than most of my fellow nobles.
As Charlotte dawdled near the gate to look at the flowers before heading to Susanna's house, I made my way into the hedge maze. I needed to think, and being away from all distractions often helped me. I sat on the bench near the roses and daisies, exhaling and putting my head in my hands.
It was all so complicated. There was no way for me to explain my suspicions to my father or brothers, whom I would need to escort me to the school. My distrust of the Headmaster was based almost entirely on intuition and assumption- both of which would lead to Mother calling me illogical, and Father pleading with me to be less judgemental and to give others the benefit of the doubt.
But giving others the benefit of the doubt did not save children whom needed help. And that was my goal.
"We keep meeting like this," A voice called. I jerked upright with a gasp, already on edge from all of my thoughts of the awful things that the children could be enduring at the school. Count Robert stood before me, standing just a few feet away. I should have heard him coming.
Collecting myself, I stood. "My Lord- I am sorry, I didn't hear you arrive. What are you doing here?"
He fought a smile. "Well, I figured since this maze bested me the last time, and I needed to be led out of it, I would quite like the challenge of trying again to make my way out with my wits alone."
My eyes narrowed suspiciously. "And to admire the bluebells again?"
He laughed- I had never heard him laugh so genuinely in a formal setting. It seemed to be a sound he preserved for little moments like this. "And perhaps I saw you wander in here and hoped to catch a moment with you."
The thrumming of my heart in my chest at his words was not enough to entirely draw me out of my mood. I only managed a half-smile. "Well, this is a moment, I suppose, Sir."
"It is," He said, the humor now gone from his voice as he took in my expression. He crossed the space between us, taking a seat on the edge of the bench I had been resting on just a moment earlier. "Lady Amelia, are you alright?"
I knew what I should do- straighten up, smile, and act the part of noblelady that I was meant to. Especially before a man of his ranking- a man who was meant to be judging our family and deciding whether or not he wished to marry into it.
But suddenly I was talking, tears streaming down my face as I fell heavily onto the bench beside him. "There is a school- my father's school. A charity school, that is, for children off the streets. Orphans and runaways and abuse survivors. I just know that they are being mistreated, but Father has an agreement that he will only stop by announced, and there is no way for me to get there without Father. He will never let me go alone, and my brother will not believe me, and-"
The words escaped me in a rush, and I was suddenly gasping for breath. I hide my face in my hands again, desperately searching for an answer.
The Earl was silent for a few moments. "Have far is the school?"
I wiped at my eyes, embarrassed by my display. "On foot, it would be near a two hours walk. I know I could make it, but I do not know how I would explain my absence for so long, and-"
Count Robert stood, his voice firm as he waved my words away. "Do not be ridiculous- I shan't have you walking these streets alone. Do you know of the criminals that roam?"
Though I should have been upset with myself for allowing my only plan of action to slip out to someone of his rank- someone far too formal and proper to ever approve of such a thing- I could not help but smile. Of course I knew of the criminals that made their way about the streets of London- I had been one, once. Children born into poverty rarely had a choice.
"Come now," The Earl said, reaching forward to take my hand and help me to my feet. It was the first time he had reached for me of his own accord, rather than simply out of formality.
I found it strange that I was aware of this fact, but I did not have much time to ponder over it, because suddenly I was rushing to keep up with Count Robert's long strides as he kept a grip on me. "My Lord?"
He looked back at me. "We are going to the school."
"We are?"
Pausing in his step, he turned to face me. "Lady Amelia-"
"Just Amelia. Please."
The edges of his lips twitched up, and I realized this was likely a strange request for me to make. Most of my friends I had known since childhood, and so we had grown up simply using first names. I found it bothersome to continuously be called 'Lady', but perhaps that was only because I was rarely around people for extended periods of time that I only knew formally. Was this an inappropriate request to make?
Could he even be one to lecture me on formality when he had followed me into the gardens, knowing that I was alone?
Just as I considered apologizing, The Earl nodded. "Of course- only if you call me Robert."
Now I hesitated- his status was above mine. Surely Mother would have a fit if she heard such a thing. "Are you certain? I do not wish to offend-"
"It would please me."
I could not help but smile. "Robert, then. We are going to the school?"
He nodded. "We are."
"But why?"
"Because you feel it is needed. You truly believe that there is something amiss?"
I swallowed hard, knowing that I was making a very serious accusation to a very powerful person. But I could not deny the dread that had continued to build within me since visiting the school. "Yes, My Lord. Um- Robert, I mean. But I have no proof."
He began to usher me towards the house again. "Your word is all I need, Amelia."
For some strange reason, tears once more pricked at my eyes. I could not explain it, but that fact that he was willing to listen to me- to act upon my words, even- caused something within me to stir. He was the first to do so thus far, and was even willing to go out of his way in order to help me put my fears to rest.
And he hardly knew me. I had been so worried that Elizabeth would find a horrible man to wed- one whom was power-hungry and greedy and conceited, as so many nobles were. Yet somehow, my sister had found a man who was willing to help someone he hardly knew- and to inconvenience himself in the act, as well.
Robert was simply a good person. True goodness was such a plain thing. Such an important, rare thing.
Such an endearing thing.
He loosened his hold on my arm as we approached the house, putting a respectful distance between us. When he went to knock on the door, though, I made my way past him, opening it myself as I turned to raise my eyebrows at him. "I live here, remember?"
He grinned. "Of course- shame that there shall not be a beautiful melody played by an even more beautiful woman as I step in this time."
Biting on my lip to try and contain my smile, I turned away and walked through the door. The act that Mother had forced for Count Robert's arrival the first time around had come to and end, and the house had returned to the playful buzz that I was used to and adored. Michael and John were now sitting on the floor of the front parlor, little trinkets spread out everywhere. It seemed they had decided they needed more room than the bedroom could provide.
Eli had joined them now, as well, and Elizabeth was sitting just beside him, rolling one of Michael's metal cylinders for the music box around in her hands as she animatedly spoke of the latest letter Thomas had sent us from his honeymoon destination in France- they were staying on a vineyard, Elizabeth was saying, and had spent their day strolling about and picking fruit.
I did not miss the way that Elizabeth's smile faded as soon as she caught sight of Robert and I making our way inside. Her face paled, and she rushed to her feet, using Eli's shoulder to balance hastily. She seemed to realize a few seconds too late that this may very well be seen as inappropriate, and she took several steps away from the boys, no doubt worrying that she seemed too masculine when sitting among them, or perhaps even too promiscuous.
I wished that there was some way for me to subtly communicate to her in that moment that Robert did not seem vain enough to care about such things. He actually looked pleased as he took in the happy buzz about my home, an amused curiosity filling his eyes at this very new- very happy and warm and real- representation of my family he was beholding.
Certainly it was quite different than anything he had seen from us thus far.
Mother was making her way down the stairs as I closed the door behind us, and just as Elizabeth had, her whole face paled at the sight of the Earl once more standing in her home. Her gaze flew to the boys, whom were scattered about the mess they had created in the Parlor, and then to Elizabeth- she had already taken off her fancy jewelry and hat that she had worn for tea with the Earl that morning.
"My Lord, what a surprise!" Mother trilled, doing what she could to hide her nerves. She tried to subtly tap Michael's leg with her foot as she passed him, a clear indication that he needed to quickly clean up and vacate the area. He frowned up at her, clearly in the middle of something that would not be easy to start again if he had to move, but began to collect all the metal pieces about him.
Robert held a hand up, shaking his head. "Oh, no, Michael, that's alright. I won't be long."
Mother sent Michael a glare, as if he should have known that the Earl would be coming back so soon after leaving. "I'm so sorry for the mess- it is not usually like this, you see."
I fought the urge to roll my eyes- between myself, my sister, my two brothers, and Charlotte, Eli, and John stopping by so often, the house was almost always buzzing with informal energy and fun. While Mother and Miss Lancing did their best to keep everyone in line, we were by no means the perfect, elegant household that she was trying to make us out to be.
"Please, it's no trouble," Robert insisted, smiling at Mother and then glancing at what Michael was fiddling about with. John was holding a cylinder steady as my brother inserted a metal rod. "I would actually be interested in hearing what all they are working on some time. For now, though, I happened upon Lady Amelia in the garden."
Mother looked at me, and I winced, hoping she would not blame me for Count Robert's unexpected return.
"She told me a bit about the charity school," He tacked on- Mother's eyes found him again. "I say, it is quite impressive what all your family has done for those children. I was wondering if perhaps we could take a trip out there today? I would love to see it, and do not know when I shall next have a whole afternoon free."
I saw the change in Mother's eyes when she realized that I had actually done my duty in talking our family up- though, in reality, I had done the opposite.
"Oh, of course!" She said. "I am afraid that my husband is away for the day, though. Michael!"
My brother looked up at the sound of his name, pausing in the middle of setting a metal prong as Mother spoke to him. "I would like you to escort Count Robert and Elizabeth to the school."
Robert turned to me. "Oh, Lady Amelia, you may come as well, if you like. It was your idea, after all."
In the end, Eli and John piled into the carriage, as well. But even with all of my friends around me- and the Earl, whom was indeed something to me, though I did not know what- the unease in my chest just continued to grow as the school came into sight.