Chapter 13: Chapter Twelve

I realized I’m enjoying Seth’s POV more. But I’m going back to Travis’ next chapter. Do you guys miss him?

Seth’s POV

“Why the fuck are we doing a video documentary about each other and our lives?” Travis seethed. He bit into his chicken bacon ranch wrap angrily. He was really pissed off about this project. I don’t really understand why he was so mad. All we had to do was record clips of each other and it could be anything we chose as long as it was appropriate. Plus the entire class had the assignment. “What are we supposed to do anyway? Just get my camcorder and randomly record your face?”

“If that’s what you feel like,” I muttered, picking at my sandwich.

“Hey, stop playing with your food,” Travis scolded me. “What’s wrong with you, why aren’t you eating?” I shrugged, not knowing. I’m just in a weird mood right now. I think there’s just too much on my mind. He sighed, dropping his wrap on the paper. “I know I’m the last person you’d want to confide in but if you want to talk I’m here.” I nodded and took a deep breath.

“When I feel like talking you’ll be the first one to know.” That was the truth. Half the time I’m unsure of what I’m thinking of. I don’t even know whether my thoughts make sense or not. I’ve been mind fucking myself all morning. I don’t even care about this fucking project, to be honest. I don’t know what Dr. Gomez is up to. I sighed. I do care about the project because it means Travis and I are going to have to work on it together. It’s this weird fucking mood I’m in right now.

“Have you spoken to your brother?”

“He emailed me, Friday. He’s going to call on Friday.”

“I know what’s good for you,” Travis said smiling at me. “You’re going to show me around this city and I also want to know where the mall is.” Great.

Travis spent most of lunch being pissed at Dr. Gomez and his “stupid project”. He’s so weird and he changes moods so fast. One second he’s about ready to blow a fucking gasket and the next second he’s sweet and caring. Maybe I’m just frustrated because of my feelings. Maybe…just maybe.

The day dragged on after Travis left to go to his next class and I went to mine. I wanted to spend the afternoon with him. Actually, I wanted to spend all the time I had with him. It’s my emotions that I’m worried about. I don’t know how long I can keep them in check. I don’t know how long I can ignore other things.

“Are you okay?” Travis said, scaring me. I jumped and clutched my chest and before I could stop myself I punched him in his arm.

“Stop scaring me like that!” My voice almost pleaded. Why is he always sneaking up on me like that? Fuck man! Travis was laughing. I don’t know what’s so freaking funny anyways.

“You know,” he started. “It’s not me who scares you, you’re the one that’s always zoning out.” When I didn’t say anything he spoke again. “I was thinking we should just go to mall, catch a bite, and chill for a bit”

“Sounds good,” I muttered. Travis beamed, smiling brightly. He’s been strangely happy today. I decided that I’m going to suck it up and not ruin his mood.

As Travis was driving I realized that the only way I knew how to get to the mall was by bus and I don’t know the route because I’m always in my own world. He had to use the GPS in his car to get us there. It’s a three-story mall with the food court on the top floor.

I sighed, looking at him as he got out the car. He’s so hot. I wish I could slip my hand in his and let everyone knows he belongs to me, but I can’t. He doesn’t belong to me. I belong to him though. He just doesn’t know it.

“I need some more pants like these,” Travis announced, tugging at the material. “They’re comfortable and I like wearing them. Plus they look good with whatever sneakers I wear.” I have to agree but I’d rather see him in tighter pants.

I gulped, swallowing my traitorous thoughts. “Where did you buy them?” I asked. Maybe the store is in this mall and he wouldn’t have to do much searching.

“I honestly don’t know. My mom bought these.” Awe.

“Do you not buy your own clothes?” I questioned with curiosity. Now it’s clicking. The way he always talks about his mom I know they’re very close. I wish I had that kind of relationship with my mom or even have the slightest chance to have it now. That wish is dead. It’s not happening. It’s impossible.

“Um,” He scratched the side of his neck. He does that when he’s unsure of how to answer a question or having difficulty explaining something, I noticed. “I don’t usually have to. My mom usually just buy stuff regularly so I only bought clothes when I want to not because I have to”

“Why don’t you try Hollister?” I suggested. I usually go in Hollister to look even though I can’t afford anything in there. I remember seeing those kinds of pants in there.

Travis face palmed. “Duh. Why didn’t I think of that?” He muttered. “Thanks. Now, where is it?” I point to the store on his right. Oh. My. Frigging. God. Travis just blushed.

“Did you blush?” I asked aghast. The question was mostly rhetorical but I would love to hear his answer for this.

“Shut the fuck up!” He snapped, pivoted and went towards the store. I was laughing as I followed him and laughed harder when he flipped me off.

Travis picked up at least six cargo pants. Each was a different shade of beige, green, or brown. They weren’t all the same. Some had a lot of pockets, some had a lot of zippers and there was only one regular one with this the two front pockets and the two back pockets but it had the crushed, baggy look.

He picked up some long sleeved shirt and a few hoodies too. I really like the red one, maybe because my favorite color was red. His was blue. If I had money I’d buy a blue one. I remember telling that we could make purple together. I giggled at that cheesy memory. Travis furrowed his brows at me for a second then went back to what he was doing. I think he’s gotten used to my random giggling.

“You’re not buying anything?” He asked, picking up a plain blue long sleeved t-shirt with only a small seagull on the left side.

“I don’t have the money that would allow me to afford shopping in this place,” I muttered, scanning the dark store.

“Well, don’t worry about the money. Pick up whatever you want and I’ll pay for it. It’s really no big deal,” he shrugged like it was really no fucking big deal. So what if he has money?

“Don’t feel bad for me.” I hissed. “I’m not some pity case you should feel sorry for or feel the need to buy stuff for!”

Travis’ glare had me retreating back. That’s a look I’ve never been given from him and I’m not sure what it was. His eyes held emotions that scared me. “I feel bad buying all this stuff and you’re not even picking up one thing. My parents raised me to care for others no matter who or what the situation is because I was privileged and that should only influence my actions in a positive way. I don’t pity you. I’m trying to be nice and distract you from whatever it is that’s going on your head you fucking asshole.” He walked off after that. I was happy there weren’t many people in the store and he didn’t yell to bring attention to us.

After awhile of standing in the same spot on the brink of crumbling it hit me why I was upset. It’s because I couldn’t do what he offered for myself. I’m the one that pities me, not Travis.

I felt like an ass as I walked back to the hoodies and picked up a blue one to the matching red one he had. I also grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, checked the size and went to the cashier where the female was cashing and folding his stuff. He had a blank expression when he saw me putting the pieces of clothing down on the counter. I left him to it and exited the store. The first reason was because I didn’t want to see the total cost for all that shit and the second reason was I couldn’t stand the way that blonde bimbo was looking at him. I was seconds away from telling her that her job isn’t to eye-rape the fucking customers. I really need to get a grip on my emotions and my jealousy. Jealousy is really not my think. I don’t know how I got like this.

Travis met on the corridor outside of the store and handed me two of the five bags he had in his hands. “You’re lucky you’re you,” he grumbled. “IF you were someone else I’d have punched the living shit out of you already”

“Thanks,” I cheered with false elations. Though, him saying that made me feel special. I don’t care if it’s stupid that I’m interpreting that as I mean something to him. That’s what he meant. Well, he meant that and that I annoy him to the core. He muttered something about me being a pain in his ass. Yeah, I definitely annoy him to the core. You were pain in my ass once, too, Travis.

“You don’t have a lot of clothes, do you?” Travis asked. It was stupid of me to keep hiding things from him and be embarrassed about the little things, knowing damn well he wouldn’t judge me or look at me any other way. I don’t know what my problem was. Sighing, I shook my head. He stopped walking and I stopped too, turning to face him. He had this look on his face that made me know that I was immediately going to regret answering that question. Groaning, I closed my eyes and tossed my head back like a child. “We’re going to change that.” He said. I groaned even louder. I hate shopping and now I hate it even more that Travis is essentially shopping for me because he’s the one paying for it.

It was late when we made our way back to Travis’ car. We spent at least five hours in the mall. I had to be a mannequin and kiss Travis’ ass because I didn’t want him to get mad at me again. He bought me a lot of things, more things than I had before. Every time he had to pay for something I left the store and I demanded he got rid of the receipts. He thought I was being ridiculous but he doesn’t understand what that did to me. I’m so grateful and the thought that he cares about me to that makes me happy. I’m sure I’m going to cry myself to sleep from happiness tonight. I don’t want to cry in front of Travis anymore.

“They say money can’t buy happiness but money can buy a lot of shit that makes you happy,” Travis said. I laughed. He was right.

Thoughts?